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Omkeshwar

Omkeshwar Singh  | Answer  |Ask -

Head, Rank MF - Answered on Aug 09, 2022

Mutual Fund Expert... more
Abhi Question by Abhi on Aug 09, 2022Hindi
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Money

I am 37 years old. I have these funds and would like to know if these are fine or require any changes.

Monthly SIPs:

  • Axis small cap - 3k
  • UTI nifty - 3k
  • Tata Digital - 3k
  • Mirae Asset emerging Bluechip -3k
  • Mirae Asset Tax Saver - 3k
  • Pgim midcap - 3k
  • Quant Active - 3k
  • Parag Parekh flexi cap -3k

Ans: No changes required.

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 30, 2023Hindi
Money
Sir, I started investing in mutual funds as SIP ten year back and here are the funds which I am investing. Please take a look and let me know if I need to do any changes in my portfolio. I am planning to invest for a period of 10 years. I want approximately corpus 1 cr after 10 year Also suggest me if I need to do any changes in my portfolio. SBI Small Cap Fund Regular Growth 2000 SBI Long Term Equity Fund 1000 SBI Equity Hybrid Fund Regular 1000 Motilal Oswal Midcap 30 1000 L&T Tax Advantage Fund - Growth 1000 HDFC Top 100 Fund - Regular Plan 1000 DSP Top 100 Equity Fund - Regular 1000 DSP Tax Saver Fund - Regular Plan - 3000 Axis Bluechip Fund - Regular 3000 Axis Flexi Cap Fund - Regular Growth 2000 DSP US Flexible Equity Fund - Gr 1000
Ans: Congratulations on consistently investing in mutual funds through SIPs for the last ten years. This discipline is commendable and crucial for wealth creation. Your goal of building a Rs. 1 crore corpus in the next ten years is achievable with a well-balanced and strategic portfolio. Let’s review your current portfolio and suggest necessary adjustments.

Portfolio Review and Assessment
Current Portfolio
SBI Small Cap Fund Regular Growth: Rs. 2000
SBI Long Term Equity Fund: Rs. 1000
SBI Equity Hybrid Fund Regular: Rs. 1000
Motilal Oswal Midcap 30: Rs. 1000
L&T Tax Advantage Fund - Growth: Rs. 1000
HDFC Top 100 Fund - Regular Plan: Rs. 1000
DSP Top 100 Equity Fund - Regular: Rs. 1000
DSP Tax Saver Fund - Regular Plan: Rs. 3000
Axis Bluechip Fund - Regular: Rs. 3000
Axis Flexi Cap Fund - Regular Growth: Rs. 2000
DSP US Flexible Equity Fund - Growth: Rs. 1000
Diversification and Fund Overlap
Analysis of Fund Types
Small Cap Fund: SBI Small Cap Fund
ELSS Funds: SBI Long Term Equity Fund, DSP Tax Saver Fund, L&T Tax Advantage Fund
Hybrid Fund: SBI Equity Hybrid Fund
Midcap Fund: Motilal Oswal Midcap 30
Large Cap Funds: HDFC Top 100 Fund, DSP Top 100 Equity Fund, Axis Bluechip Fund
Flexi Cap Funds: Axis Flexi Cap Fund
International Fund: DSP US Flexible Equity Fund
Suggested Changes
Reducing Redundancies
Your portfolio has multiple funds in similar categories, which might lead to overlapping. Reducing the number of funds can streamline your portfolio and enhance returns. Here are some suggestions:

Consolidate Large Cap Funds: You have three large cap funds (HDFC Top 100, DSP Top 100, Axis Bluechip). Choose the best performer and consolidate the investment.

Consolidate ELSS Funds: You have three ELSS funds (SBI Long Term Equity, DSP Tax Saver, L&T Tax Advantage). Pick one or two with the best performance and consistency.

Review Hybrid Fund: Hybrid funds provide balanced exposure. Evaluate if the SBI Equity Hybrid Fund aligns with your risk profile and goals. If not, consider redirecting this investment to better-performing equity funds.

Strategic Allocation
Balanced Allocation
Equity Funds: Focus on a mix of large cap, mid cap, and small cap funds for growth potential. A well-diversified portfolio can mitigate risks while maximizing returns.

Tax Saving: Continue with one or two ELSS funds for tax saving under Section 80C.

International Exposure: Retain a portion in international funds like DSP US Flexible Equity to diversify geographical risks.

Sample Rebalanced Portfolio
Large Cap: Choose one or two from HDFC Top 100 Fund, DSP Top 100 Equity Fund, Axis Bluechip Fund (Rs. 6000)

Mid Cap: Continue with Motilal Oswal Midcap 30 (Rs. 1000)

Small Cap: Continue with SBI Small Cap Fund (Rs. 2000)

Flexi Cap: Continue with Axis Flexi Cap Fund (Rs. 2000)

Tax Saving (ELSS): Select one or two from SBI Long Term Equity Fund, DSP Tax Saver Fund, L&T Tax Advantage Fund (Rs. 4000)

International Fund: Continue with DSP US Flexible Equity Fund (Rs. 1000)

Planning for Rs. 1 Crore Corpus
Regular Review
Monitor your portfolio regularly. Track the performance of your funds at least once a year and make adjustments as needed. Consistent review ensures alignment with your goals and market changes.

Increase SIP Amount Gradually
To achieve a corpus of Rs. 1 crore in ten years, consider gradually increasing your SIP amount. As your income grows, scaling up your investments can significantly impact your corpus.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide personalized advice. They can help create a customized roadmap, considering your risk profile, goals, and market conditions. Consulting a CFP ensures your investments align with your financial objectives and market dynamics.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
For future planning, consider a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) during retirement. SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly from your mutual fund investments. This provides a steady income while keeping the principal invested, ensuring continued growth.

Conclusion
Your disciplined investment approach is commendable. By streamlining your portfolio, focusing on well-performing funds, and regularly reviewing your investments, you can achieve your goal of a Rs. 1 crore corpus. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to tailor your strategy further.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi
Money
I have invested in the following Mutual Funds, One time & SIP - Are these funds good or any changes required, please advise. Fixed:- ICICI/ India Opportunities Fund - Growth Rs.2,50,000 ICICI/ Value Discovery Fund - Growth Rs.2,50,000 ICICI / Transporation & Logistics Fund - Rs. 2,00,000 SIP:- Axis Flexi Cap Fund - Regular Plan - Growth Rs.5,000 Canara Robeco Emerging Equities - Regular Plan - Growth Rs.5,000 Aditya Birla SL Focused Equity Fund(G) Rs.5,000 HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund(G) Rs.5,000 ICICI Pru Bluechip Fund(G) Rs.5,000 Axis Small Cap Fund - Regular Plan - Growth Rs.5,000 ICICI Prudential Technology Fund - Growth Rs.5,000 L&T Midcap Fund - HSBC Midcap Fund Rs.5,000 ICIPRU Multi-Asset Fund - Growth Rs.5,000 ICIPRU Value Discovery Fund - Growth Rs.5,000
Ans: Let's review your Mutual Fund investments, both one-time and SIPs, to ensure they align with your financial goals and risk profile.

One-time Investments:

ICICI India Opportunities Fund:
This fund aims to capitalize on diverse investment opportunities across sectors and market capitalizations. It can be suitable for investors seeking broad-based exposure to Indian equities.
ICICI Value Discovery Fund:
This fund focuses on identifying undervalued stocks with the potential for growth, emphasizing a value investing approach. It can be suitable for investors with a long-term horizon and a value-oriented mindset.
ICICI Transportation & Logistics Fund:
This sector-specific fund focuses on the transportation and logistics sector in India. Sector funds can be volatile and are typically suitable for investors with a higher risk tolerance and a deep understanding of the sector.
SIP Investments:

Axis Flexi Cap Fund:
This fund offers flexibility to invest across market caps, providing diversification and potential for growth. It aligns well with a diversified equity portfolio.
Canara Robeco Emerging Equities Fund:
This fund focuses on emerging companies with high growth potential, emphasizing mid and small-cap segments. It can be suitable for investors seeking aggressive growth.
Aditya Birla SL Focused Equity Fund:
This fund follows a focused approach, investing in a limited number of high-conviction stocks. It can be suitable for investors seeking concentrated exposure to potential growth opportunities.
HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund:
This fund focuses on the mid-cap segment, aiming to capitalize on the growth potential of mid-sized companies. It can be suitable for investors with a higher risk tolerance and a focus on mid-cap growth.
ICICI Pru Bluechip Fund:
This fund predominantly invests in large-cap stocks, aiming to provide stability and consistent returns. It can be suitable for investors seeking stability with exposure to large-cap companies.
Axis Small Cap Fund:
This fund focuses on the small-cap segment, emphasizing high growth potential but also higher volatility. It can be suitable for aggressive investors with a long-term horizon.
ICICI Prudential Technology Fund:
This sector-specific fund focuses on the technology sector, aiming to capitalize on the growth of the IT industry. It can be suitable for investors bullish on the technology sector.
L&T Midcap Fund:
This fund focuses on the mid-cap segment, similar to HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund. Ensure you are comfortable with the allocation to mid-cap stocks given their higher volatility.
ICIPRU Multi-Asset Fund:
This fund offers diversified exposure across asset classes, including equities, debt, and commodities. It can be suitable for investors seeking balanced growth and diversification.
ICIPRU Value Discovery Fund:
Similar to the one-time investment in ICICI Value Discovery Fund, this fund follows a value-oriented approach. Ensure you are comfortable with the concentration in value stocks.
Recommendations:

Review Sector Funds:
Consider reviewing your allocation to sector-specific funds like ICICI Transportation & Logistics Fund and ICICI Prudential Technology Fund. Sector funds can be volatile and may require a deep understanding of the sector.
Diversification:
Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified across market caps, sectors, and investment styles to manage risk effectively.
Regular Reviews:
Periodically review your portfolio's performance and make necessary adjustments to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions.
Consultation:
Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to personalize your investment strategy, ensure diversification, and navigate market dynamics effectively.
Conclusion:

Your Mutual Fund portfolio is diversified with exposure to various market segments, sectors, and investment styles. Ensure you are comfortable with the risk associated with sector-specific funds and consider regular reviews to align with your financial goals.

Embrace this journey with confidence, patience, and discipline. Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make necessary adjustments to ensure it remains aligned with your long-term financial goals.

Remember, investing is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay focused on your goals, maintain discipline, and may your investments flourish over time.

..Read more

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

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Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

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Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both of your needs and ensures that your marriage remains a priority. By working together and communicating openly, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.
Asked on - Jan 15, 2025 | Answered on Jan 15, 2025
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Thank you very much for ur reply. But i am finding difficult to forget her.
Ans: It might be helpful to focus on the following steps to move forward:

Acceptance: Accept that the relationship has ended and that continuing to hold on to it may be preventing you from healing. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to stop loving her immediately, but it does mean recognizing that the relationship is no longer viable.
Self-Care: Prioritize your emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you through this process. Consider exploring new hobbies or interests that can redirect your focus and bring positive energy into your life.
Boundaries: It might be time to set boundaries with your ex-wife, especially if staying in contact is causing you more pain. Taking a step back from communication can provide the space you need to heal and gain clarity.
Professional Support: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and guide you through the healing journey. Professional support can offer valuable tools and strategies to navigate the complex emotions you’re experiencing.
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to grieve the loss of the relationship. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, find peace, and eventually open yourself up to new possibilities and happiness in life.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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Relationship
My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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