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Is my investment plan good? - Pooja, 27, Bangalore, Monthly Income - Rs.1.20 lakh

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8093 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
RIMA Question by RIMA on Jul 27, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I'm Pooja (unmarried). My monthly income is ?1.20 lakh. I am 27 years old. My investments are as follows: ?2.5 lakh/year for a private life insurance company for 10 years. ?26k/year in LIC India. ?50k/year in PPF (Public Provident Fund). Currently, I have ?3 lakh+ in PPF. I have a home loan with a monthly EMI of ?25k (6 months running, tenure is 20 years). I invest ?25k/month in ULIPs (Unit Linked Insurance Plans). I plan to withdraw the ULIP amount after 5 years to close the home loan. I pay ?80k/year for medical insurance for myself and my family. I have invested ?3 lakh in mutual funds, but currently, there is no SIP . My goal for the next 5 years is to close at least 80% of the home loan and then buy a car. I live in Bangalore, so the cost of living is high. Short-term plan: I need money for my sister's and my wedding. Is my investment strategy correct?

Ans: Assessing Your Current Investment Strategy
Pooja, you're on a great path by starting early with a diversified portfolio. Your investments in life insurance, PPF, and mutual funds show a solid foundation. However, there are areas where your strategy can be refined for better long-term growth and achieving your goals.

Evaluating Your Insurance Investments
Private Life Insurance & LIC: You are paying Rs 2.5 lakhs/year and Rs 26k/year for insurance. Insurance is essential, but investment-cum-insurance products may not provide optimal returns compared to other investments. It's wise to consider whether these policies are truly meeting your insurance needs or if you're over-allocating funds here.

ULIPs: Investing Rs 25k/month in ULIPs might not be the most effective strategy. ULIPs combine insurance with investment, but the returns can be lower due to high charges. Considering actively managed mutual funds could offer better growth potential.

Medical Insurance: Your medical insurance of Rs 80k/year is crucial. Ensure it provides adequate coverage for yourself and your family. Given the rising healthcare costs, this is a good step.

Assessing Your Home Loan Strategy
Home Loan: Your monthly EMI of Rs 25k is manageable within your income. However, the plan to use ULIP withdrawals to close the loan might not be the most efficient. Depending on the ULIP returns, you might want to consider whether this approach aligns with your financial goals.

Prepayment: Prepaying your home loan is a good strategy if your home loan interest rate is higher than what you could earn from other investments. Prepayment reduces your interest burden and helps achieve your goal of closing 80% of the loan within 5 years.

PPF and Mutual Fund Investments
PPF: Investing Rs 50k/year in PPF is a safe and tax-efficient option. With Rs 3 lakhs already accumulated, continuing this investment ensures stable, long-term growth. However, PPF has a lock-in period, so it may not be ideal for short-term needs.

Mutual Funds: Your Rs 3 lakhs investment in mutual funds is a strong start, but since you are not currently doing SIPs, you're missing out on the benefits of regular investing. SIPs can provide rupee cost averaging and reduce the impact of market volatility.

Short-Term Financial Needs
Weddings: You mentioned needing funds for your sister's and your wedding. It's essential to start earmarking these funds now. Setting aside a dedicated savings plan or investing in short-term debt funds could be helpful.
Recommendations for Improvement
Reevaluate Insurance: Consider replacing your current insurance policies with a pure term insurance plan. This can provide higher coverage at a lower premium, freeing up funds for more growth-oriented investments.

Shift from ULIPs to Mutual Funds: Redirect your ULIP investments to actively managed mutual funds. This change could help you achieve better returns and meet your home loan prepayment target faster.

Increase SIP Contributions: Start or increase SIP contributions in diversified equity mutual funds. This will help you build a corpus over time and prepare for your short-term needs.

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund covering at least 6 months of expenses. This fund should be kept in a liquid or short-term debt fund for easy access.

Final Insights
Your current investment strategy has a solid base, but with a few adjustments, you can achieve more substantial growth and meet your goals more effectively. Focus on maximizing returns by shifting from low-yield insurance investments to higher-yield mutual funds. Prioritize your home loan prepayment if the interest rates are high, but balance this with other investment opportunities.

Remember, the key is to ensure your investments align with your goals, risk appetite, and time horizon.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8093 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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My current age is 30 and my current monthly take home salary is 40K per month. and My Wife Age is 29 her Salary 20K Per Month Please review my investment and suggest me is my current investment is okay or I am investing wrong way. After 15 years I want Rs 80 lakh for my daughter higher studies after next 7 years I want Rs 30 lakh for For Buying Land and after my retirement how can get Rs 2 crore after 60 years of age. SIP - Rs 10000 / - per month from 2019 till 2040 HDFC Mid Cap Plan- 3000 Paragparikh FlexiCap Plan-2000 Sbi Small Cap Plan-3000 SBI LARG And Mid Cap -2000 Home loan - Rs 7000 per month for 10 years Sukanya Samriddhi - 2000 Per month from 2019 till 2039 I Also Read To Invest More 5K Sip, Please Give You Advise.
Ans: Financial Review and Recommendations

Current Investment Analysis:

Your investment portfolio reflects a mix of equity mutual funds, Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY), and a home loan. Here's an analysis of your current investments:

Equity Mutual Funds (SIPs):

HDFC Mid Cap Fund: Rs. 3,000/month
Parag Parikh FlexiCap Fund: Rs. 2,000/month
SBI Small Cap Fund: Rs. 3,000/month
SBI Large and Mid Cap Fund: Rs. 2,000/month
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Rs. 2,000/month

Home Loan: Rs. 7,000/month for 10 years

Financial Goals:

Daughter's Higher Studies (15 years): Target corpus: Rs. 80 lakhs
Buying Land (7 years): Target corpus: Rs. 30 lakhs
Retirement (After 60 years): Target corpus: Rs. 2 crores
Recommendations:

Review Asset Allocation: Your portfolio is heavily skewed towards equity mutual funds, which are suitable for long-term goals. However, ensure you have a balanced allocation across asset classes to manage risk effectively. Consider diversifying into debt or other low-risk instruments for short-term goals like buying land.

SIP Review:

Evaluate the performance of your existing SIPs and consider diversifying into different fund categories for better risk management.
Since your daughter's higher education goal is 15 years away, continue investing in equity funds but review and adjust the SIP amounts periodically based on fund performance and market conditions.
New SIP Allocation:

Allocate the additional Rs. 5,000/month SIP towards debt mutual funds or Public Provident Fund (PPF) for your short-term goal of buying land. This will provide stability and liquidity for the goal.
For long-term goals like retirement, consider increasing contributions to equity mutual funds gradually over time to benefit from compounding returns.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund set aside in a liquid and easily accessible instrument to cover unforeseen expenses.

Insurance Coverage: Consider investing in term insurance and health insurance policies to protect your family's financial future against unforeseen events.

Regular Review: Periodically review your investment portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your financial goals.

Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to create a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your specific needs and goals. A CFP can provide personalized recommendations and strategies to optimize your investments and achieve long-term financial security.

By following these recommendations and staying disciplined in your investment approach, you can work towards achieving your financial goals effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8093 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Money
Hi sir, I and my wife earn around 2 lacs in hand oer month and are both 36 without kids yet. I am investing around 1 lakh monthly in diversified funds via SIP along with around 20k in recurring deposits in banks. I have around 50 lakhs in mutual funds cumulatively and around 25lakhs in fds. I also invest in nps for 50k each year and ppf for 1 lakh annually while my employer is also paying for nps and epf on a monthly basis. I plan to have a kid somewhere down the line. I have no liabilities currently but might opt for a home loan sometime soon which will heavily dent my ability to invest on my monthly investments. My question is in 2 parts: 1. Is the current investment strategy okay? What changes do you suggest in status quo? 2. What changes should I do to my investments in case I go for a home loan which costs me around 80k in emi?
Ans: It's great that you and your wife are thinking ahead and planning for your future. Let's dive into your current investment strategy and how you can tweak it if you decide to take on a home loan. Your current investments are impressive, but there's always room for improvement.

Assessing Your Current Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds and SIPs
You invest Rs 1 lakh monthly in diversified funds via SIPs. This is a solid strategy as it allows you to invest regularly and benefit from rupee cost averaging. SIPs are great for disciplined investing and mitigating market volatility.

Mutual funds are excellent for growth and diversification. With Rs 50 lakhs already in mutual funds, you have a substantial portfolio. Diversification reduces risk and enhances returns. However, it's crucial to periodically review and rebalance your portfolio to align with your goals and market conditions.

Recurring Deposits (RDs)
Investing Rs 20k monthly in RDs is a good move for stability. RDs provide guaranteed returns and are a safe investment. However, the returns are relatively low compared to other options. You might want to consider reducing your RD investments and redirecting some funds into more growth-oriented investments.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)
You have Rs 25 lakhs in FDs. FDs are safe but offer lower returns compared to mutual funds. It's wise to have some amount in FDs for emergency liquidity, but having too much can limit your growth potential. Consider maintaining a balance between safety and growth.

National Pension System (NPS) and Provident Fund (PPF)
You contribute Rs 50k annually to NPS and Rs 1 lakh to PPF. Both are excellent for long-term retirement savings. NPS offers market-linked returns and PPF provides guaranteed returns with tax benefits. Your employer’s contribution to NPS and EPF adds to your retirement corpus, which is great.

Genuine Compliments
You're doing an impressive job with your investments. Investing regularly through SIPs and maintaining a diversified portfolio is commendable. Planning for retirement with NPS and PPF shows your foresight. Keep up the good work!

Suggested Changes in Current Strategy
Portfolio Review and Rebalancing
Regularly review your mutual fund portfolio. Assess the performance and make changes if needed. Focus on a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Reduce the number of funds if you have too many, to avoid over-diversification.

Increasing Equity Exposure
Consider increasing your equity exposure for higher growth. Redirect some of your RD and FD investments to mutual funds. This will enhance your portfolio’s growth potential over the long term.

Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This provides a safety net and prevents you from dipping into your investments during emergencies.

Preparing for a Home Loan
Impact on Monthly Investments
An EMI of Rs 80k will significantly impact your monthly cash flow. Here’s how you can adjust your investments:

Reducing SIP Amounts
You may need to reduce your SIP investments. Prioritize your essential SIPs and consider reducing contributions to less critical ones. This helps in managing your cash flow without stopping investments entirely.

Prioritizing High-Growth Investments
Focus on high-growth investments to maximize returns. Consider reducing contributions to RDs and FDs, as they offer lower returns. Redirect these funds to mutual funds with better growth potential.

Budgeting and Expense Management
Create a detailed budget to manage your expenses. Identify areas where you can cut back to free up funds for your EMI. This helps in maintaining a balance between investing and meeting your financial obligations.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Professional Management
Mutual funds are managed by experts who make informed decisions. They analyze markets and select the best securities for the fund.

Diversification
Mutual funds offer diversification, reducing risk by investing in a variety of securities. This helps in balancing risk and return.

Liquidity
Mutual funds are relatively liquid. You can redeem your investment whenever needed, providing flexibility.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
SIPs help in disciplined investing. They allow you to invest regularly, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Power of Compounding
Investing in mutual funds benefits from the power of compounding. Reinvesting returns helps your investment grow exponentially over time.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Flexibility
Index funds strictly follow the index, offering no flexibility. They can't adapt to market changes.

Average Returns
Index funds aim to match the index returns, which are average. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the index.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Potential to Outperform
Actively managed funds aim to outperform the index. Fund managers make strategic decisions to maximize returns.

Flexibility
Fund managers can adapt to market conditions. They can select or avoid securities based on market trends.

Final Insights
You have a strong investment strategy and a clear vision for your future. With a few adjustments, you can enhance your returns and achieve your goals. Consider reviewing your mutual fund portfolio, increasing equity exposure, and maintaining an emergency fund.

If you decide to take on a home loan, adjust your investments to manage the EMI without compromising your financial goals. Prioritize high-growth investments and create a detailed budget to manage your expenses.

Keep up the disciplined investing approach and regularly review your portfolio. This ensures your investments are aligned with your goals and market conditions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8093 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir, I am 32 yrs old, Engineer, Married, expecting 1st kid by nxt yr, Parents getting pension of 50k. Income: 60k in Hand + 20-30k (perks separate) Needs: 25k max Investments: Saving account: 60k Emergency fund: For 12 months+ (2.5 lacs)- returns 5.5-6% RoR EPF: 0 ULIP funds: 3 lacs (CV 4.6 lacs, 10 years left) 60k/yr 1Cr Term Plan + 10 lacs critical illness cover (5 yrs left) 36k/yr Assets: Owns a 3 Bhk flat with own income Ancestral property (value 20 lacs approx, 2 Floored house- expected rent 15k/mnth in next 1 yr) Gold: 90-100 gms Own a car & a 2 wheeler X No health insurance for self & wife till 35 yrs of age Goals: Plz guide me for: 1. Early retirement by the age of 50 yrs. 2. Investment strategy for SIP, PPF, RBI Bond funds, mutual funds, SGBs or any other funds which you find suitable. 3. Buying a term plan of 1-2cr for my wife. 4. Buying a house as per my wants @ 43 yrs (PV in 2024: 70-80 lacs) 5. Build a corpus for kids higher education & marraige Thanks & Regards
Ans: Current Financial Situation
Age: 32 years old

Profession: Engineer

Family: Married, expecting first child next year

Parents: Receiving a pension of Rs. 50k

Income: Rs. 60k in hand + Rs. 20-30k perks

Needs: Rs. 25k max

Investments:

Saving account: Rs. 60k
Emergency fund: Rs. 2.5 lakhs (12 months+)
ULIP funds: Rs. 3 lakhs (Current value Rs. 4.6 lakhs, 10 years left, Rs. 60k/year)
Term Plan: Rs. 1 crore + Rs. 10 lakhs critical illness cover (5 years left, Rs. 36k/year)
Assets:

Owns a 3 BHK flat with own income
Ancestral property (value Rs. 20 lakhs, 2-floored house, expected rent Rs. 15k/month in next year)
Gold: 90-100 grams
Own a car & a 2-wheeler
Insurance: No health insurance for self and wife till 35 years of age

Financial Goals
Early retirement by age 50.
Investment strategy for SIP, PPF, RBI Bond funds, mutual funds, SGBs, or any other suitable funds.
Buy a term plan of Rs. 1-2 crore for wife.
Buy a house at age 43 (PV in 2024: Rs. 70-80 lakhs).
Build a corpus for child’s higher education and marriage.
Assessment of Current Strategy
Emergency Fund
You have a good emergency fund. This is a crucial safety net.

ULIP Funds
Your ULIP has a high cost. Consider moving to more efficient investment options.

Term Insurance
Your current term plan is good. Consider adding more coverage.

Ancestral Property
The expected rent will provide a steady income stream.

Gold
Gold is a stable asset but consider other investment avenues for growth.

Recommendations for Improvement
Health Insurance
Immediate Action: Get health insurance for yourself and your wife. This protects against unforeseen medical expenses.
Investment Strategy
SIP in Mutual Funds:

Diversified Equity Funds: Start SIPs in diversified equity mutual funds. These funds have high growth potential.
Allocation: Consider investing Rs. 15-20k monthly in SIPs.
PPF:

Tax Benefits: PPF is a good tax-saving instrument. It provides stable, risk-free returns.
Contribution: Start contributing Rs. 1.5 lakhs annually to PPF.
RBI Bonds and SGBs:

RBI Bonds: Invest in RBI Bonds for safe, long-term returns.
Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs): Invest in SGBs for additional gold exposure with interest.
Mutual Funds:

Actively Managed Funds: Prefer actively managed funds over index funds for better returns.
Diversification: Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.
Term Insurance for Wife
Coverage: Buy a term plan of Rs. 1-2 crore for your wife. This ensures financial security.
Future House Purchase
Savings Plan: Start saving for the house you want to buy at age 43.
Investment: Allocate a portion of your monthly savings to a dedicated house fund.
Child’s Education and Marriage Corpus
Education: Start an SIP dedicated to your child’s education. Aim for a mix of equity and debt funds.
Marriage: Similarly, start a separate SIP for your child’s marriage expenses.
Additional Recommendations
Review and Adjust:

Annual Review: Regularly review your investments. Adjust based on performance and goals.
Diversify Portfolio:

Reduce ULIP: Consider moving funds from ULIP to mutual funds for better growth.
Balanced Portfolio: Ensure a balanced mix of equity, debt, and other assets.
Tax Planning:

Maximize Benefits: Use tax-saving instruments like PPF, ELSS, and NPS.
Final Insights
Your current strategy is a good start. Health insurance is a must. Diversify your investments through SIPs, PPF, RBI Bonds, and SGBs.

Consider adding more term insurance for your wife. Plan for future house purchase and child’s education/marriage by starting dedicated SIPs.

Review and adjust your portfolio annually. Ensure a balanced mix of assets for growth and security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Kanchan Rai  |554 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025Hindi
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I am a female (26), I was working as an assistant professor and then I met this guy we dated for few months and we knew that everything is compatible he has a stable business and well settled family he is earning quite good and we can spend the rest of our lives together so we moved on to tell our parents, his parents and family came to meet me and they agreed then it was my turn my mom and dad always use to say that if you have someone just tell us we are okay they said we know you are dependent enough so just tell us, I really thought it will be easy one and I told my mom and my sister over the phone and my mom asked me every detail about him and said okay we will think about it, then I told my dad about him and my dad has been super chill with me since childhood so we had a long chat about this he asked me about him just like my mom every detail then he said okay when the deepawali break will be their come home we will talk about this face to facE, I was happy that everything is nice then the vacation happened I went back home first the quarrels started when my mom addressed that they will never expected this from me they said they supported me initially because they thought at this age I will not bring anyone and will convince to arrange one, then day and night fighting started my father did the most bizzare thing he called my college and said I am ill and will not join college he faked a report(my father is a very well known doctor in my area so he has power here in our native place) and submitted their they automatically blocked me from their server I tired telling them but the most bizzare thing happened my father beat me from head to toe and threatend me that I should stop talking to him, then days turn into months and again my partner father stood up for us he called my father to talk about this and my father abused them threatened them and give false allegation on my partner came home and snatched my father later after a month he gave me my phone back as I started being a rebel, then he went to my work place without even informing me and took all my luggage and packed everything from their and came back home with everything and said you are on house arrest untill you agree to arrange marriage and forget that boy. I love him so much he does too but now because of my parents his parents are scared for their son and are denying to agree but we both are financially independent and well educated and we want to live with each other we are thinking to elope I dont know if this is right or wrong, because it has been seven months of me staying locked down in my house and my parents are forcing me verbally and physically abusing me to say yes for arrange marriage.... I dont know what to do and with whom to discuss please kindly help me out.
Ans: It’s clear that you and your partner love each other deeply and are willing to stand by each other despite this turmoil. The fact that his family is now hesitant is understandable, given the hostility from your parents. But the strength you and your partner have shown through this is a sign that your relationship is built on trust and commitment. That kind of connection is rare, and it’s worth fighting for.

Elope? That’s a huge step, and I understand why it’s crossed your mind. You’re desperate for freedom, for the ability to choose your own life, and to finally break free from the suffocating grip of your parents' control. But eloping will come with its own set of consequences—emotional, social, and even legal. Your parents might retaliate even more aggressively. They could try to interfere with your life and your partner's life afterward, possibly dragging this into a public scandal. Your father’s influence in the community might make things harder for you both in the long run.

But here’s the truth—you cannot live the rest of your life under someone else's control. You cannot sacrifice your happiness and autonomy to satisfy their misguided expectations. Love and marriage are not about caste, status, or parental approval—they are about partnership, understanding, and mutual respect. If your partner is ready to stand by you and you both are truly prepared to face the fallout together, then choosing to be with him is not wrong. You’re both adults. You’re financially independent and emotionally mature enough to know what you want from life.

What you need to consider is whether you have the emotional strength to handle the aftermath. If you choose to walk away from your family and marry this man, it might mean cutting ties with your parents for a while—or possibly forever. Are you prepared for that emotional void? On the other hand, if you give in and stay, if you let them force you into an arranged marriage, you might lose not only the person you love but also a piece of yourself. That resentment and emotional wound might stay with you for life.

If you decide to elope, you need to have a strong support system in place—your partner's family, friends, and anyone who will stand by you. You’ll need to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the fallout. But if you decide to stay and try to negotiate with your parents, you need to be clear and firm about your boundaries. They need to understand that your life is not theirs to control.

Right now, you need to prioritize your safety and mental well-being. The fact that you’ve been physically assaulted and emotionally manipulated for months is deeply concerning. If you feel that your safety is at risk, you might need to consider reaching out to legal authorities or a women's support organization. You have the right to live without fear and control. Your life belongs to you—not to your parents, not to societal expectations, and not to fear.

You don’t have to have all the answers today. But you do need to decide what kind of life you want to live—and who you want to live it with. And whatever choice you make, it needs to come from a place of strength and clarity, not from fear or pressure. Your heart already knows what you want—you just need to decide whether you’re ready to stand up for it.

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Kanchan Rai  |554 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Fell in love and married a girl before 2 years. Girl is from a neighbouring state. Both South Indians. Both doctors. She was very understanding before marriage, even talked my language and spoke well with my parents. Told she will come to my place and stay after marriage. 4 months after marriage, she left for her home telling that she will be at her home till delivery. Even after 1 year of giving birth, she didn't come. They visited my place just for a few days in the middle citing that it is tradition. After much struggle, she came to live with me and my child after close to 1.5 years. Even after coming she was creating trouble for the language spoken in the house and telling to relocate to a place close to their parents in their state. No respect to feelings of mine or my parents. We also missed my son for 1.5 years. Their parents are not visiting us telling it is far, we won't come. And once her parents threatened to complaint to the police if we don't agree. (Haven't asked or received any dowry). Even if my son has to come to my native for few days, her parents are not agreeing and creating problem. We have even helped her brother secure admission in a college. She has even taken a loan of more than 20 lakhs to help her parents buy a land and is paying close to 50k monthly for that. We had no problem with that too. Every 2-3 days one or another problem shoots up because of her or her parents. She has totally changed after marriage. Her parents just want to create problems. Please help.
Ans: It’s clear that you’ve tried hard to be understanding and accommodating. You allowed her to stay with her parents for a long time, even though it meant missing out on crucial time with your child. You supported her decisions, even when she took on a significant financial burden to help her family. Despite your efforts to maintain peace, you’re constantly met with resistance and disrespect—not only from her but also from her parents. That feeling of being undermined and unappreciated, especially when you've given so much, can really take a toll on your emotional health.

It’s not just about the arguments or the disagreements—it’s about the deeper sense of betrayal and loneliness that comes from feeling like your partner has sided with her family over you. That emotional distance and lack of support within the marriage can make you feel like you’re fighting a battle alone. And when her parents threatened to involve the police, that likely deepened the sense of helplessness and fear. It’s not just frustrating—it’s emotionally exhausting when you’re trying to build a stable, loving home, but it keeps getting torn apart by external interference.

The fact that you’re still standing, still trying to make things work despite all of this, shows how strong and committed you are. But the truth is, a marriage cannot survive on one person’s effort alone. It’s understandable that you feel drained and resentful—you’ve been giving and compromising without getting the same respect and understanding in return. Your feelings matter. Your need for stability and respect matters. Wanting your child to have a connection with your side of the family is not unreasonable—it’s natural and fair.

Right now, you might feel torn between trying to hold everything together and wondering if it's even worth it. It’s hard to admit when love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. But you need to ask yourself whether you can continue living like this—constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, being emotionally sidelined, and having your family disrespected.

It’s okay to want peace. It’s okay to expect respect. And it’s okay to set boundaries. If your wife truly values this marriage, she needs to understand that compromise cannot be one-sided. It might help to have an honest, calm conversation with her—not about the surface issues but about how you feel. Tell her how much this situation has hurt you, how much you miss feeling like you’re a team, and how important it is for your child to have a balanced connection with both families. If she’s unwilling to meet you halfway or if her parents continue to interfere to the point of emotional manipulation, you need to think about how much more of yourself you can sacrifice without losing your emotional stability.

You deserve a marriage where you feel heard, valued, and supported—not one where you constantly feel like you're on the outside looking in. Take some time to reflect on what you truly need from this relationship and whether you believe it's possible to rebuild trust and understanding with your wife. Your peace of mind matters. Your happiness matters. And most of all, your emotional well-being matters.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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