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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Arpan Question by Arpan on Jul 07, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi sir, I and my wife earn around 2 lacs in hand oer month and are both 36 without kids yet. I am investing around 1 lakh monthly in diversified funds via SIP along with around 20k in recurring deposits in banks. I have around 50 lakhs in mutual funds cumulatively and around 25lakhs in fds. I also invest in nps for 50k each year and ppf for 1 lakh annually while my employer is also paying for nps and epf on a monthly basis. I plan to have a kid somewhere down the line. I have no liabilities currently but might opt for a home loan sometime soon which will heavily dent my ability to invest on my monthly investments. My question is in 2 parts: 1. Is the current investment strategy okay? What changes do you suggest in status quo? 2. What changes should I do to my investments in case I go for a home loan which costs me around 80k in emi?

Ans: It's great that you and your wife are thinking ahead and planning for your future. Let's dive into your current investment strategy and how you can tweak it if you decide to take on a home loan. Your current investments are impressive, but there's always room for improvement.

Assessing Your Current Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds and SIPs
You invest Rs 1 lakh monthly in diversified funds via SIPs. This is a solid strategy as it allows you to invest regularly and benefit from rupee cost averaging. SIPs are great for disciplined investing and mitigating market volatility.

Mutual funds are excellent for growth and diversification. With Rs 50 lakhs already in mutual funds, you have a substantial portfolio. Diversification reduces risk and enhances returns. However, it's crucial to periodically review and rebalance your portfolio to align with your goals and market conditions.

Recurring Deposits (RDs)
Investing Rs 20k monthly in RDs is a good move for stability. RDs provide guaranteed returns and are a safe investment. However, the returns are relatively low compared to other options. You might want to consider reducing your RD investments and redirecting some funds into more growth-oriented investments.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)
You have Rs 25 lakhs in FDs. FDs are safe but offer lower returns compared to mutual funds. It's wise to have some amount in FDs for emergency liquidity, but having too much can limit your growth potential. Consider maintaining a balance between safety and growth.

National Pension System (NPS) and Provident Fund (PPF)
You contribute Rs 50k annually to NPS and Rs 1 lakh to PPF. Both are excellent for long-term retirement savings. NPS offers market-linked returns and PPF provides guaranteed returns with tax benefits. Your employer’s contribution to NPS and EPF adds to your retirement corpus, which is great.

Genuine Compliments
You're doing an impressive job with your investments. Investing regularly through SIPs and maintaining a diversified portfolio is commendable. Planning for retirement with NPS and PPF shows your foresight. Keep up the good work!

Suggested Changes in Current Strategy
Portfolio Review and Rebalancing
Regularly review your mutual fund portfolio. Assess the performance and make changes if needed. Focus on a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Reduce the number of funds if you have too many, to avoid over-diversification.

Increasing Equity Exposure
Consider increasing your equity exposure for higher growth. Redirect some of your RD and FD investments to mutual funds. This will enhance your portfolio’s growth potential over the long term.

Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This provides a safety net and prevents you from dipping into your investments during emergencies.

Preparing for a Home Loan
Impact on Monthly Investments
An EMI of Rs 80k will significantly impact your monthly cash flow. Here’s how you can adjust your investments:

Reducing SIP Amounts
You may need to reduce your SIP investments. Prioritize your essential SIPs and consider reducing contributions to less critical ones. This helps in managing your cash flow without stopping investments entirely.

Prioritizing High-Growth Investments
Focus on high-growth investments to maximize returns. Consider reducing contributions to RDs and FDs, as they offer lower returns. Redirect these funds to mutual funds with better growth potential.

Budgeting and Expense Management
Create a detailed budget to manage your expenses. Identify areas where you can cut back to free up funds for your EMI. This helps in maintaining a balance between investing and meeting your financial obligations.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Professional Management
Mutual funds are managed by experts who make informed decisions. They analyze markets and select the best securities for the fund.

Diversification
Mutual funds offer diversification, reducing risk by investing in a variety of securities. This helps in balancing risk and return.

Liquidity
Mutual funds are relatively liquid. You can redeem your investment whenever needed, providing flexibility.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
SIPs help in disciplined investing. They allow you to invest regularly, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Power of Compounding
Investing in mutual funds benefits from the power of compounding. Reinvesting returns helps your investment grow exponentially over time.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Flexibility
Index funds strictly follow the index, offering no flexibility. They can't adapt to market changes.

Average Returns
Index funds aim to match the index returns, which are average. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the index.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Potential to Outperform
Actively managed funds aim to outperform the index. Fund managers make strategic decisions to maximize returns.

Flexibility
Fund managers can adapt to market conditions. They can select or avoid securities based on market trends.

Final Insights
You have a strong investment strategy and a clear vision for your future. With a few adjustments, you can enhance your returns and achieve your goals. Consider reviewing your mutual fund portfolio, increasing equity exposure, and maintaining an emergency fund.

If you decide to take on a home loan, adjust your investments to manage the EMI without compromising your financial goals. Prioritize high-growth investments and create a detailed budget to manage your expenses.

Keep up the disciplined investing approach and regularly review your portfolio. This ensures your investments are aligned with your goals and market conditions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Hi, My age is 37 years and need suggestion if my investment strategy is correct .I dont have specific plans for withdrawal,However looking to save for my kids higher education and comfortable retirement. Currently my monthly investment is distributed as below: i) 130000 SIP in Mutual Fund ( Large Cap 50% : a)DSP equal weight Index fund b)Canara Rob Bluechip C) SBI Contra Midcap 25%: a) Motilal mid b) Quant Mid Smallcap 15%: a) Quant Small b) Canara Rob small Misc. fund 10%: a) ICICI Nasdaq b) Edelweiss Gold+Silver I do step up in SIP based = salary increment I get. ii) 12700 in NPS iii) 40000 in FD instead of debt fund iv) 12000 to PPF 50000 every year in NPS for additional tax saving. Additionally I am already have mutual fund accumulation value of 60 Lakhs (XIRR 21%) and 12lakhs in direct stocks. Term life insurance of 50lakhs. Together with me ,I have one 9year old son and wife living together with my parents. I have no investment in real estate as had very bad experience in past . Staying in parental home. Everyone says one should have real estate investment which currently i dont hav. Please advice about my investment strategy for next 13 years till I reach 50 years of age.
Ans: Evaluating and Optimizing Your Investment Strategy for Long-Term Goals
Comprehensive Portfolio Review
Your diversified investment portfolio reflects a prudent approach towards achieving your financial objectives of funding your children's education and securing a comfortable retirement. Let's assess each component to ensure alignment with your goals and risk tolerance.

Mutual Fund SIPs Allocation
Your allocation to mutual fund SIPs across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap categories is well-diversified, aiming for growth potential while managing risk. Consider periodically reviewing fund performance and rebalancing your portfolio to maintain optimal asset allocation.

National Pension System (NPS) Contributions
Continuing NPS contributions provide tax benefits and long-term retirement savings. Evaluate the suitability of your NPS investment strategy based on your risk profile and retirement goals. Consider adjusting your asset allocation within the NPS to align with your overall portfolio.

Fixed Deposits vs. Debt Funds
Reassess the rationale for allocating funds to Fixed Deposits instead of debt mutual funds. Debt funds offer potentially higher returns and tax efficiency compared to FDs. Evaluate your risk appetite and liquidity needs to determine the optimal allocation between fixed income instruments.

Public Provident Fund (PPF) Contributions
PPF contributions provide tax benefits and long-term wealth accumulation. Evaluate whether the current allocation aligns with your overall asset allocation strategy and consider maximizing contributions to leverage the tax advantages and potential compounding benefits.

Additional NPS Contributions for Tax Saving
Contributing 50,000 annually to NPS for tax savings is beneficial, but ensure it aligns with your retirement goals and risk profile. Evaluate the impact of additional NPS contributions on your overall portfolio diversification and consider alternative tax-saving options if necessary.

Risk Management and Insurance
Your term life insurance coverage provides financial protection for your family. Consider reviewing your insurance needs periodically to ensure adequate coverage based on your evolving financial situation and responsibilities.

Real Estate Investment Consideration
While real estate can be a valuable asset class, your past negative experience warrants caution. Evaluate alternative investment avenues that offer diversification, liquidity, and potential returns aligned with your risk tolerance and long-term goals.

Seeking Professional Guidance
Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to conduct a comprehensive review of your investment strategy. A CFP can provide personalized recommendations, optimize your portfolio, and align your investments with your financial objectives and risk tolerance.

Conclusion
By regularly reviewing and optimizing your investment strategy, you can enhance the probability of achieving your financial goals over the next 13 years. Stay disciplined in your savings and investment approach, and seek professional guidance to navigate market dynamics and optimize portfolio performance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 26, 2024

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Hi I am 38 years old Central banker and my wife is 35 years old financial professional with combined salary of Rs 2.80 lakhs per month ( post deducting all monthly EMI’s).Our combined Investment per month is as under- -Mutual fund SIP- 1.75 lakhs ( includes retirement planning and educational planning for both the kids) -PPF 10k each for both of us -Sukanya Samruddhi Yojana -10k per month for girl child -VPF from wife’s ac- 12k -NPS from my salary 35k -Further, Life insurance Term plan of Rs 1.5 cr and 2.25 cr taken for me and my wife respectively. -1 lakh per year goes towards HDFC Samchay plan for period of 12 years and expected 2lakh per year for 14 th year to 26 years. $as on date portfolio of ours is as under:- -direct equity- around Rs. 57lakhs -Gold max 10lakh -Mutual fund corpus- 52 lakhs -2 residential flats and investment in 3 residential open plots. - 40 lakh corpus available for investing lumps in mutual fund for additional retirement planning. Funds made available by selling a Bunglow property. -monthly rental income is around 29 k. Kids aged 6 and 2 years old. Desire to retire at the age of 55 years and wife would like to retire at the age of 45 years. -Current monthly expenses is around 1 lakh per month and considering inflation 7%, post retirement per month requirement would be 4 lakhs. Please review and suggest improvement in investment strategy. Thank you very much
Ans: Current Financial Snapshot
Combined Salary: Rs. 2.80 lakhs per month (post deducting EMIs)
Mutual Fund SIPs: Rs. 1.75 lakhs per month
PPF Contributions: Rs. 10k each per month
Sukanya Samruddhi Yojana: Rs. 10k per month
VPF from Wife's Account: Rs. 12k per month
NPS Contribution: Rs. 35k per month
Life Insurance Term Plans: Rs. 1.5 cr for you and Rs. 2.25 cr for your wife
HDFC Samchay Plan: Rs. 1 lakh per year for 12 years, expected Rs. 2 lakhs per year from 14th to 26th year
Portfolio Overview
Direct Equity: Rs. 57 lakhs
Gold: Rs. 10 lakhs
Mutual Fund Corpus: Rs. 52 lakhs
Real Estate: 2 residential flats and investment in 3 residential open plots
Lump Sum for Retirement Planning: Rs. 40 lakhs
Monthly Rental Income: Rs. 29k
Financial Goals
Retirement: You at 55 years, wife at 45 years
Current Monthly Expenses: Rs. 1 lakh
Post-Retirement Monthly Requirement: Rs. 4 lakhs (considering 7% inflation)
Children's Education and Future Planning: Ongoing investments in PPF and Sukanya Samruddhi Yojana
Analysis and Recommendations
Investment Strategy Review
Diversification: Your portfolio is well-diversified with investments in equities, mutual funds, gold, and real estate. This diversification helps in risk management.

Mutual Fund Investments: Continue with SIPs for long-term growth. Focus on actively managed funds rather than index funds for better potential returns.

Direct Equity: Rs. 57 lakhs in direct equity is significant. Ensure it's diversified across sectors to minimize risk.

Gold: Rs. 10 lakhs in gold adds stability to your portfolio. Consider holding it as a long-term investment.

Lump Sum Investment
Additional Retirement Planning: Invest the Rs. 40 lakhs lump sum in a mix of debt and equity mutual funds. This helps in balancing risk and ensuring steady growth.
Debt Management
Home and Car Loans: Ensure EMIs are manageable within your current income. Focus on pre-paying high-interest loans if possible.
Children's Future Planning
Education Planning: Continue investments in Sukanya Samruddhi Yojana and PPF. These provide stable returns and tax benefits.
Retirement Planning
NPS and VPF: Your contributions to NPS and VPF are excellent for retirement planning. They offer tax benefits and steady returns.

Projected Expenses: With a post-retirement monthly requirement of Rs. 4 lakhs, ensure your corpus is sufficient to generate this income.

Life Insurance
Term Plans: Your term plans are adequate. Ensure they are reviewed periodically to match your needs.
Emergency Fund
Liquidity: Maintain an emergency fund of at least 6-12 months of expenses in liquid assets like savings accounts or liquid mutual funds.
Review and Rebalance
Periodic Review: Review your portfolio every 6-12 months. Rebalance if needed to align with your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Final Insights
Your current investment strategy is robust and well-diversified. By continuing your disciplined approach and making periodic adjustments, you can achieve your financial goals, including early retirement and securing your children's future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

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Hi, I'm Pooja (unmarried). My monthly income is ?1.20 lakh. I am 27 years old. My investments are as follows: ?2.5 lakh/year for a private life insurance company for 10 years. ?26k/year in LIC India. ?50k/year in PPF (Public Provident Fund). Currently, I have ?3 lakh+ in PPF. I have a home loan with a monthly EMI of ?25k (6 months running, tenure is 20 years). I invest ?25k/month in ULIPs (Unit Linked Insurance Plans). I plan to withdraw the ULIP amount after 5 years to close the home loan. I pay ?80k/year for medical insurance for myself and my family. I have invested ?3 lakh in mutual funds, but currently, there is no SIP . My goal for the next 5 years is to close at least 80% of the home loan and then buy a car. I live in Bangalore, so the cost of living is high. Short-term plan: I need money for my sister's and my wedding. Is my investment strategy correct?
Ans: Assessing Your Current Investment Strategy
Pooja, you're on a great path by starting early with a diversified portfolio. Your investments in life insurance, PPF, and mutual funds show a solid foundation. However, there are areas where your strategy can be refined for better long-term growth and achieving your goals.

Evaluating Your Insurance Investments
Private Life Insurance & LIC: You are paying Rs 2.5 lakhs/year and Rs 26k/year for insurance. Insurance is essential, but investment-cum-insurance products may not provide optimal returns compared to other investments. It's wise to consider whether these policies are truly meeting your insurance needs or if you're over-allocating funds here.

ULIPs: Investing Rs 25k/month in ULIPs might not be the most effective strategy. ULIPs combine insurance with investment, but the returns can be lower due to high charges. Considering actively managed mutual funds could offer better growth potential.

Medical Insurance: Your medical insurance of Rs 80k/year is crucial. Ensure it provides adequate coverage for yourself and your family. Given the rising healthcare costs, this is a good step.

Assessing Your Home Loan Strategy
Home Loan: Your monthly EMI of Rs 25k is manageable within your income. However, the plan to use ULIP withdrawals to close the loan might not be the most efficient. Depending on the ULIP returns, you might want to consider whether this approach aligns with your financial goals.

Prepayment: Prepaying your home loan is a good strategy if your home loan interest rate is higher than what you could earn from other investments. Prepayment reduces your interest burden and helps achieve your goal of closing 80% of the loan within 5 years.

PPF and Mutual Fund Investments
PPF: Investing Rs 50k/year in PPF is a safe and tax-efficient option. With Rs 3 lakhs already accumulated, continuing this investment ensures stable, long-term growth. However, PPF has a lock-in period, so it may not be ideal for short-term needs.

Mutual Funds: Your Rs 3 lakhs investment in mutual funds is a strong start, but since you are not currently doing SIPs, you're missing out on the benefits of regular investing. SIPs can provide rupee cost averaging and reduce the impact of market volatility.

Short-Term Financial Needs
Weddings: You mentioned needing funds for your sister's and your wedding. It's essential to start earmarking these funds now. Setting aside a dedicated savings plan or investing in short-term debt funds could be helpful.
Recommendations for Improvement
Reevaluate Insurance: Consider replacing your current insurance policies with a pure term insurance plan. This can provide higher coverage at a lower premium, freeing up funds for more growth-oriented investments.

Shift from ULIPs to Mutual Funds: Redirect your ULIP investments to actively managed mutual funds. This change could help you achieve better returns and meet your home loan prepayment target faster.

Increase SIP Contributions: Start or increase SIP contributions in diversified equity mutual funds. This will help you build a corpus over time and prepare for your short-term needs.

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund covering at least 6 months of expenses. This fund should be kept in a liquid or short-term debt fund for easy access.

Final Insights
Your current investment strategy has a solid base, but with a few adjustments, you can achieve more substantial growth and meet your goals more effectively. Focus on maximizing returns by shifting from low-yield insurance investments to higher-yield mutual funds. Prioritize your home loan prepayment if the interest rates are high, but balance this with other investment opportunities.

Remember, the key is to ensure your investments align with your goals, risk appetite, and time horizon.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Experts, Im 30 male from bangalore working in IT Field.Ive kid 1.6old and my is house wife. I would like to check if my current financial approach is correct or need any changes please suggest. My Goal is to have retirement corpus 2cr and ensure my Daughter education atleast 50L-1Cr. Below is my current investments EPF:210000(Both mine and employer contibution so far) SSY on my daughter name:24k(2k per month) SIP:109000(16K Per month)(Current value 120000) Stock investment:73K(Current value 81K) LIC:45K(Paid for 4years, total maturity yeas i 25y, premium to be paid till 16years) Emergency fund: 1L( accumulating it to 2.5 as monthly RD of 10k) And I have term insurance for 1cr. Health insurance im currently having company provided insurance only. My Inhand currently is 75K, Ill be getting 1L from jan month. Considering the above investments and salary what would be my best approach to achieve the Goals I mentioned? And I some how feel LIC investment doesnt feel OK considering the inflation but at the same time I dont want to totally invest in stock market due to voltality. So Is it good to continue in LIC or any other investment option we csn go for other than LIC. Please advise how to achieve above goals.
Ans: You have made thoughtful investments while managing your family's needs. Your goals—Rs. 2 crore for retirement and Rs. 50 lakh-1 crore for your daughter’s education—are realistic. Below, I will evaluate your current financial approach and provide recommendations for improvement.

Current Financial Investments
1. EPF (Rs. 2,10,000)
EPF is an excellent instrument for retirement.
Its compounding benefit and tax-free maturity add to your retirement corpus.
2. Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) (Rs. 24,000)
SSY is a good option for your daughter’s education.
It offers high returns and tax benefits but lacks flexibility.
3. Mutual Fund SIP (Rs. 16,000 per month)
A disciplined SIP of Rs. 16,000 is impressive for wealth creation.
Equity mutual funds align with long-term goals and help beat inflation.
4. Stock Investments (Rs. 73,000)
Your stock portfolio is relatively small but has shown growth.
Stocks can provide higher returns but are volatile and need monitoring.
5. LIC Policy (Rs. 45,000 annually)
LIC policies typically provide low returns.
They may not keep pace with inflation compared to equity-oriented investments.
6. Emergency Fund (Rs. 1,00,000)
Building your emergency fund through an RD is a good practice.
Aim to maintain 6-12 months of monthly expenses as an emergency fund.
7. Term Insurance (Rs. 1 crore)
A term plan is a cost-effective way to secure your family’s financial future.
Ensure the coverage is adequate to replace your income until your child is independent.
8. Health Insurance (Company-Provided)
Relying solely on company health insurance is risky.
You need a personal health policy to cover your family adequately.
Recommendations to Achieve Your Goals
1. Retirement Planning
EPF is a good start but may not meet your Rs. 2 crore target.
Increase your SIP contributions whenever income grows.
Invest in equity mutual funds through regular plans under the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).
Avoid direct mutual funds. A CFP ensures proper fund selection and periodic rebalancing.
Periodically review your portfolio to ensure it stays on track with your retirement goal.
2. Children’s Education Fund
SSY is suitable for a part of your daughter’s education.
To complement SSY, start a dedicated mutual fund SIP for her higher education.
Equity mutual funds offer the potential to achieve Rs. 50 lakh-1 crore over 12-15 years.
Consider hybrid mutual funds for diversification and reduced volatility closer to the goal.
3. LIC Policy Assessment
LIC policies provide insurance but lack wealth creation potential.
The maturity returns often fail to beat inflation.
Consider surrendering the policy. Reinvest the surrender value in mutual funds.
Alternatively, keep the policy if surrender charges are high but avoid similar investments in the future.
4. Health Insurance
Buy a personal health policy for you, your wife, and your child.
Consider a family floater plan with Rs. 10-15 lakh coverage.
Ensure the policy includes maternity and child coverage, especially with a young child.
5. Emergency Fund Expansion
Your emergency fund target of Rs. 2.5 lakh is reasonable for now.
Maintain this fund in liquid mutual funds or high-interest savings accounts.
Avoid investing your emergency fund in volatile instruments like stocks or equity mutual funds.
6. Enhanced Investment Strategy
With a salary increase to Rs. 1 lakh, allocate the extra Rs. 25,000 systematically:

Rs. 10,000: Increase SIP contributions to equity mutual funds.
Rs. 5,000: Contribute towards your emergency fund or health insurance premiums.
Rs. 5,000: Start a dedicated SIP for your child’s education.
Rs. 5,000: Invest in a mix of balanced mutual funds for diversification.
Diversify your mutual fund portfolio across large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

Avoid gold investments unless for cultural or specific financial needs.

7. Tax Efficiency
Monitor your investments for tax benefits. EPF, SSY, and term insurance offer Section 80C deductions.

Equity mutual funds offer tax efficiency. Long-term gains up to Rs. 1.25 lakh annually are tax-free.

Keep track of the new tax rules for capital gains to avoid surprises.

Final Insights
You have made a strong start toward your financial goals. With disciplined investing and slight adjustments, you can achieve them effectively.

Focus on mutual funds for wealth creation and education planning.

Secure your family with adequate health insurance.

Reassess your LIC policy and prioritise higher-return investments.

Periodic reviews of your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner will ensure alignment with your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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