Trying to Convince My Sarcastic Wife (41) Not to Have Children at 45: Advice Needed

Ans: I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your child and the difficulties you and your wife are experiencing. It's understandable that your wife may be going through a lot emotionally, and it can be challenging to navigate a relationship during such a difficult time. Here are some tips that may help you improve your relationship:

Seek counseling: Consider seeking counseling together to help process your grief and improve communication. A licensed therapist can provide a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and work through any issues in your relationship.

Show empathy: Try to understand your wife's perspective and show empathy towards her. Validate her feelings and let her know that you're there for her.

Practice active listening: When your wife is speaking, make sure to actively listen to what she's saying. Don't interrupt or dismiss her feelings, and try to understand where she's coming from.

Practice self-care: Take care of yourself so that you can be there for your wife. This includes getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and taking time for yourself to relax and recharge.

Be patient: Remember that healing takes time, and your wife may need some time and space to come to terms with her emotions. Be patient with her and don't pressure her to "get over" her grief.

It's important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and there's no right or wrong way to do it. By being supportive, patient, and empathetic towards your wife, you can help strengthen your relationship and support each other through this difficult time.

Ans: Hello. It is true that with increased maternal age chances of birth defects in the child are higher, however, we now have very good methods of checking for these defects early on and taking preventive action one way or another. If both of you are desirous of another child, I would say it is quite safe to try in the next 2-3 years also. All the best!

Ans: 8 months is not a very long time and most likely you will conceive naturally. However, it is a good idea to see a fertility specialist or a OBGYN once and get evaluated to ensure you are not missing anything which will need attention later. There is no need to jump to fertility procedures but being aware that everything is normal would be very reassuring and encourage you try naturally in a more stress free way. All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Talk about it if you haven't already done that. What's the reason that she is not interested? Is it fear of childbirth or is it the state of responsibilities that will set in once the baby is born or is it a fear of losing her independence and inability to work for a while?
If it's fears and anxiety related, this can be eliminated by seeking professional help like counseling and if this is not the case, you might want to suggest a medical appointment to see if all the usual parameters are in check. (the doctor will suggest what must be done).

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
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