Dear Pooja

My daughter desperately wants a pet and is very keen on a Shih Tzu.
I feel we should adopt a dog that needs a home.
My husband is not keen and has made it clear he will not take any responsibility.
Because we don’t want to disappoint our daughter after such a difficult year, we may get a Shih Tzu.
What should we know about it before we decide?
Thank you
Sweety Singh

Ans:

Hi Sweety.

Thanks for writing to us.

During the lockdown, a lot of kids were demanding pets as they were home all the time and comparatively free and bored.

One must get a pet when and only when everyone in the family is ready for such a long-term commitment.

Please remember that the responsibility of the pet is ultimately going to come on you. Think carefully if you are ready to give time to the pet for next 10-12 years.

This year has been difficult for all of us.

Many people have rushed to get pets and have started abandoning them once their work and regular routine started.

I strongly advise you to think seriously before getting a pet.

Please make an informed decision.

DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.

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Dear PoojaWe have a one-year-old beagle and we plan to add to the family with one more beagle.How do we prepare our elder one for the new arrival?What if the two don’t like each other?Our elder one is a female. Should the younger one be male or female?We are very keen on a beagle only.Please do advise us.Rajesh A

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Hi Rajesh.

Thanks for writing to us.

May I ask why you wish to get one more pet?

Since your pet is very young, you will need to think seriously before getting another one.

Having two pets is time consuming and a lot more effort is required. Are you prepared for the additional time commitment?

It’s not advisable to get another pet just to give company to your current pet.

Beagles need a lot of mental stimulation together with daily exercise and activities to keep them busy.

We would advise getting another pup once your first pet is at least 2-3 years old and has settled down well.

Deciding on whether to select a female/male, the age of the new puppy, etc, depends on your routine, the pet’s temperament and many other factors.

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Question by SD - Oct 01, 2021Hindi

Dear Anu, I would like to be anonymous. Long story short, after two years of my marriage, my husband’s best friend’s wife shifted to India from abroad and applied for divorced, because she found her husband was a womanizer. Both husband and wife stayed with us during that time, husband tried his best to persuade me to have an intimate relationship with him, I refused, I told my husband about it and he asked me to keep quiet. Somehow a friend's wife filed a divorce case and the husband was virtually thrown out of the house, the case went messy. We supported her in all possible ways. For 4 years every weekend we spend with her. And I saw that she was getting too possessive about my husband, I told this to my husband, he refuted. In front of him only she would insult me and he would just keep quiet. Our intimacy was gone, it was he who said he is not interested in intimacy anymore. We stopped sharing a bedroom, during this lockdown after 8 years of stay at home mother, I was applying for jobs and attending interviews. I was at my possible lows. Suddenly my husband became friendly and started talking about dogs, he wanted a pet, since he doesn't have time to care for it and I was not mentally prepared for any extra responsibility so I said no for the time being. Instead he went ahead with her and asked her to buy one for us without informing me. She called to inform me that she had ordered one from the breeder and it would be delivered the next morning. I told her to cancel that. Not only this, she has called my daughter and informed her too that she is gifting the dog to her. I told my husband that I want to walk out of this marriage, we had fought for more than a month. I called her and told that 'This is it,' never to call my house or talk to me again. After a month my husband went to her house with our daughter. He has asked her to lie that they did not go there but my daughter came back and told me. I feel cheated by my husband whenever the dog is around, it’s a poor animal. I give food and take care of it but my anger and resentment is not coming down. I want to leave the marriage, because I feel there is no end to it. Please help me.

Ans: Dear S D, This seems all very M&B type of romance. Well, who am I to judge?

But, do be aware that it has slowly but surely progressed into a connection that obviously doesn't make you feel comfortable.

You have questions about it that are unanswered and doubts that are eating at the foundation of the relationship.

Now, to make it more messy, your daughter seems to be part of this too without her knowledge. Time to intervene. Sit your husband down and please sort this mess out before it grows bigger.

Does he want to continue in the marriage or not? If yes, lay down some ground rules and a strict NO to the other lady stepping in even if she cries foul.

And if he wants to move on, that’s a different situation at hand.

Talk to a therapist to deal with separation/divorce and if through the sessions, there are chances of working on the marriage, great! Take a call and do that NOW.

Make wise choices and best wishes!

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