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Dr Aarti Bakshi | Answer |Ask -Follow

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Jan 19, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more

Question by Anonymous on Jan 19, 2023Hindi

Hi Dr Aarti As parents we are often told not to raise our hands or lose our temper but there are so many instances when children misbehave and throw tantrums in public that sometimes we reprimand them in the heat of the moment. How does one control or manage one's temper during such times?

Ans: Hi Divya, the ideal situation would be for parents and children to have no concerns. But all emotions are important. And developmental skills are age related. A child who is misbehaving and throwing a tantrum is demanding attention. We all need attention. I would suggest the following strategies: 1. Stay Calm: when you and the child are both losing cool, it does not work. Staying cool is being in command. go down on your knees and talk in a slow base tone, after the initial tantrum is over. 2.Distraction technique: Show a child something pretty, the sky, a butterfly, ask your child to help you with something. Bribery does not work, like " I ll give you a sweet if you stop crying, now." That gives the child the power to affect you. 3. Carry a Bag: A bag of few favorite things like a comic, colours and book, a toy and something to eat and a water bottle, it supports a child to keep busy in a grown-up public world. 4. Familiarise: Show a photograph of the place and the people the child would meet, to help child get acclimatised to the space and people. 5. Lastly, let your child wear comfortable clothes, and have a full tummy.

DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.

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Question by AR - Jan 20, 2022Hindi

Dear Roopashree, I have an anger management problem. When I get angry, I have no control over what I say or do and I end up hurting the people I love (not physically, but because of what I say). This is bad for me at work as well. Though I am good at my job, my temper is my downside. How do I control my anger? Dietwise, is there something I can do? Is there anything I can do that does not involve medication? AR

Ans:

You have identified the right direction, that’s half the journey.

As goes the famous saying -- ‘We are what we eat.’

More often than not, our mental reactions are just a symptom of our physical health.

In terms of diet, avoid Rajasic food (too much oil, non-veg, alcohol and spices). Practise deep breathing to process your thoughts and balance any suppressed anger and emotions.

Dealing with anger is a process. You can try this little exercise. During your next phase of anger, just bring your focus to the physical state of your body and see if there are any symptoms like acidity, sinus headache or digestive issues.

If it’s not physical, observe your thought process at the time. Concentrate on your innermost thoughts, write it down and dwell upon it later when you are at peace. Identify any possible pattern/issue and address it.

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