Hi, i have dental issues , my upper left side of the jaw has teeth no 4&5 on which RCT is in progress since march 2023. it was very painful for tooth4 and mild for 5, so i changed dentist on 1 may and new dentist took full month of may to do RCT for 4 & 5 again. now pain has disappeared in 5 but remains in 4. the new dentist says that there is a pocket between 4 &3 and i have copy of xray that shows that. i m not sure this dentist is telling the right reasons, as some other dentist says that condition of 4 is so bad that filling inside it is visible from outside and extraction is last resort.. my question is what should i do? protecting a tooth at all costs is more important or shall i go for extraction.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are not overthinking. Wanting privacy about your relationship is a reasonable boundary. His friendship might be older than your marriage, your consent to share sensitive information which involves you still applies. And friendship and marriage are two different things, and each has its own place.

The best solution to this situation is to have a conversation, the right time, right place and right way. Pick a time when both of you are calm and relaxed. Frame the conversation around trust, not control. If it sounds like you are asking him to choose marriage over friendship, he might get defensive. So, highlight your emotional safety instead of sounding accusatory that he is making you feel a certain way. Be specific about your boundaries: bedroom talks are off limits, or personal insecurities should not be shared outside of the marriage. Everyone needs someone to vent to, and talking to friends is okay, but not when it makes your partner uncomfortable. Acknowledge that he needs to talk to someone about things, but remain firm about your boundaries. If he still brushes it off, let him know that joking about your private matters hurt your deeply. If nothing else works, I really suggest marriage counseling. Sometimes people need to hear the hard things from others, instead of their partner, to understand it's validity.

Hope this helps.