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My 11th Grader Son at Allen Coaching for IIT Has Dropping Scores & Excuses - Should I Force Him To Leave?

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |1414 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

Professor Suvasish Mukhopadhyay, fondly known as ‘happiness guru’, is a mentor and author with 33 years of teaching experience.
He has guided and motivated graduate and postgraduate students in science and technology to choose the right course and excel in their careers.
Professor Suvasish has authored 47 books and counselled thousands of students and individuals about tackling challenges in their careers and relationships in his three-decade-long professional journey.... more

Question by SMS on Dec 30, 2024Hindi

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My son is preparing for JEE from allen institute. He is in 11th standard. I put him in allen because it would give him time to study etc. In 10th he got 94% with little effort. But Allen is having tests every 3 week. His scores have been dropping and now he is using excuses not to write the test. I told him if he is finding IIT entrance tough then leave it and prepare only for Karnataka CET. he said no he wants to get into IIT. He locks his room and looking at scores he doesnt study. He is probably on the phone or laptop playing games. I was a decent student and I tried reading myself and helping him prepare. But he is not putting the levels of effort I expect him to. Wondering what to do. What should I do? I manage lot of people in office but I find my son most arrogant of them all. He says why should i listen to you? We allow him to go with friends, on trips, movies etc and have been very linent with hi,.

Ans: Is he pampered by her mother.If he doesn't listen to you take the laptop and mobile from him and let him see the world who presents him laptop and mobile.It is time to be strict enough.Leave over attachment.This is the time you need to be strict.Stop all extra funding for his luxury.If you don't teach him the lesson now in future he will rule you.You are not the only father,there are many like you.Drop the JEE main Let him clear Karnataka JEE with good score.He has gone do dogs due to over pampering and bad friends' circle.Best of luck.Professor

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Dear Aruna, My child is 16.5 year old and is in 12th Standard. He wanted to pursue JEE and hence we got him admitted to a school who has integrated program where along with CBSE they impart JEE training as well. They also had a hostel facility. We had shifted him to this hostel during his 11th after lot of thinking as he used to waste lot of time gaming and hanging around with his friends...he had got 78% in his 11th and this was because he stayed in the hostel. Now he is saying that he will not go back to the hostel at all and prepare at home. But he does not seem to be serious at all...he has been gaming, hanging around with his friends etc.When asked about all this he says that he is well ware and will do the needful..Off late he started saying that he is not interested in doing JEE and make basket ball as his career...we as parents are very confused...I even have fights with my son because of this...Please advise what needs to be done. I would like that he rejoins hostel as this would make him disciplined and responsible...It is important that he completes his 12th standard with good marks and i feel that staying back home is not going to help at all. he is intelligent and teachers appreciate him a alot..he is also talented but is wasting lots of time...he says that he knows everything and no one need to tell him anything. Whenever he hears abt hostel he gets irritated. This hostel does not allow mobile phones or any electronic gadgets at all.

Ans: As the child is an adolescent and he knows well about the repercussions since he is as intelligent child. You can make the child write down the number of hours he used , let it be as a visual for him on paper. Make a excel sheet for him and ask him to write on this the number of hours being spent on the mobile or gadget each day for next 5 days.

You can also reduce your time incase you spend on gadget and start spending time in the form of games, going out for walks together ( an alternative for not being sent to the hostel)
See that when you are reducing any behaviour, give him a equally reinforcing activity to get the same behaviour down.

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My Son is in Std 12th and is pursuing PCMC and aspired to appear JEE along with SAT, CET. Now he says that he will not pursue JEE and will be interested to appear CET & SAT...he seems to be without any aim ...When asked abt his dream he is saying he is not sure or rather does not want to convey to parents. We put him in a school with is integrated and gives CBSE with JEE coaching. I would like you to suggest how can we bring out what he wants to do ..He is taking things very casually..whenever he studies he keeps his headphone on and when asked he says that this is the he remembers things...He is not giving hajjis 100 % and always into an argument whenever we ask questions on his career/studies. He was in a hostel in his 11th and now not even interested to go back there but at home he is not even focused. As parents please advise us what need to be done and what will be best for him..He is intelligent and scores 80% but has a capability to get 95%

Ans: Hello Trilok,
It's good to hear that your son is intelligent and capable of getting good marks.
With parents child usually feels the fear of being judged & avoids sharing all things with them.

I would suggest you take him to psychological counseling. It will help in identifying what's bothering him and will help in unleashing his potential.

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Sir, my son got very less 48 percentile in JEE mains Jan attempt. He is very demotivated. Though he is determined for APR attempt. Need your suggestion what should we do in this situation

Ans: It's natural to feel low, but the key is to stay positive and focused. Many students improve in the second attempt with the right approach. Your son should identify weak areas from the January attempt and work on them. Focus on high-weightage topics, revise concepts, and practice previous year papers. He should take regular mock tests in exam-like conditions. He can use online lectures, crash courses, or coaching if needed. He should also ensure proper sleep, short breaks, and a stress-free mindset.With determination and a structured approach, he can achieve a much better score in April! One important suggestion: Please have Plan B & Plan C as back-ups instead of relying only on JEE by appearing for other (5-7) Entrance Exams and / or participating in counselling process of the colleges accepting JEE Score in your State. All the Best for your Son's Prosperous Future.

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Ans: Akshaya, With a COMEDK rank of 14,300, you will not be able to secure CSE or ECE in top-tier Bengaluru colleges like RVCE, MSRIT, or BMSCE, as their CSE cutoffs are generally below 10,000 and ECE cutoffs typically close under 9,000–10,000. However, you have good chances for CSE and ECE in reputable mid-tier colleges such as RNS Institute of Technology (CSE cutoff ~11,782, ECE ~25,904), CMR Institute of Technology, Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, BNMIT, and Acharya Institute of Technology, where CSE and ECE cutoffs often extend up to 15,000–20,000 or higher. Colleges like Dayananda Sagar Academy of Technology, JSS Academy of Technical Education, and East Point College of Engineering and Technology are also accessible at your rank for both branches. The recommendation is to participate in COMEDK counseling and prioritize these mid-tier colleges for CSE or ECE, as they offer strong academic support and placement opportunities at your rank. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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