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My 11th Grader Son at Allen Coaching for IIT Has Dropping Scores & Excuses - Should I Force Him To Leave?

Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |2749 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

Professor Suvasish Mukhopadhyay, fondly known as ‘happiness guru’, is a mentor and author with 33 years of teaching experience.
He has guided and motivated graduate and postgraduate students in science and technology to choose the right course and excel in their careers.
Professor Suvasish has authored 47 books and counselled thousands of students and individuals about tackling challenges in their careers and relationships in his three-decade-long professional journey.... more
SMS Question by SMS on Dec 30, 2024Hindi
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Career

My son is preparing for JEE from allen institute. He is in 11th standard. I put him in allen because it would give him time to study etc. In 10th he got 94% with little effort. But Allen is having tests every 3 week. His scores have been dropping and now he is using excuses not to write the test. I told him if he is finding IIT entrance tough then leave it and prepare only for Karnataka CET. he said no he wants to get into IIT. He locks his room and looking at scores he doesnt study. He is probably on the phone or laptop playing games. I was a decent student and I tried reading myself and helping him prepare. But he is not putting the levels of effort I expect him to. Wondering what to do. What should I do? I manage lot of people in office but I find my son most arrogant of them all. He says why should i listen to you? We allow him to go with friends, on trips, movies etc and have been very linent with hi,.

Ans: Is he pampered by her mother.If he doesn't listen to you take the laptop and mobile from him and let him see the world who presents him laptop and mobile.It is time to be strict enough.Leave over attachment.This is the time you need to be strict.Stop all extra funding for his luxury.If you don't teach him the lesson now in future he will rule you.You are not the only father,there are many like you.Drop the JEE main Let him clear Karnataka JEE with good score.He has gone do dogs due to over pampering and bad friends' circle.Best of luck.Professor
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Aruna

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Dear Aruna, My child is 16.5 year old and is in 12th Standard. He wanted to pursue JEE and hence we got him admitted to a school who has integrated program where along with CBSE they impart JEE training as well. They also had a hostel facility. We had shifted him to this hostel during his 11th after lot of thinking as he used to waste lot of time gaming and hanging around with his friends...he had got 78% in his 11th and this was because he stayed in the hostel. Now he is saying that he will not go back to the hostel at all and prepare at home. But he does not seem to be serious at all...he has been gaming, hanging around with his friends etc.When asked about all this he says that he is well ware and will do the needful..Off late he started saying that he is not interested in doing JEE and make basket ball as his career...we as parents are very confused...I even have fights with my son because of this...Please advise what needs to be done. I would like that he rejoins hostel as this would make him disciplined and responsible...It is important that he completes his 12th standard with good marks and i feel that staying back home is not going to help at all. he is intelligent and teachers appreciate him a alot..he is also talented but is wasting lots of time...he says that he knows everything and no one need to tell him anything. Whenever he hears abt hostel he gets irritated. This hostel does not allow mobile phones or any electronic gadgets at all.
Ans: As the child is an adolescent and he knows well about the repercussions since he is as intelligent child. You can make the child write down the number of hours he used , let it be as a visual for him on paper. Make a excel sheet for him and ask him to write on this the number of hours being spent on the mobile or gadget each day for next 5 days.

You can also reduce your time incase you spend on gadget and start spending time in the form of games, going out for walks together ( an alternative for not being sent to the hostel)
See that when you are reducing any behaviour, give him a equally reinforcing activity to get the same behaviour down.

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 15, 2025Hindi
Money
I have debt of rs. 20lakhs which include pl and credit card bill payments and my monthly income is 28k only please suggest how to I am debt free
Ans: 1. Assess and List Out All Debts
List each loan and credit card with:
• Amount owed
• Monthly EMI or minimum payment
• Interest rate
This will help you understand which debts are costing you the most and need to be prioritized.

2. Create a Bare-bones Budget
• List your essential expenses only: rent, food, utilities, transportation.
• Allocate most of your income toward debt repayment: Many people use a “60-30-10” rule—spending 60% of income on debts, 30% on essentials, and 10% on minor needs or savings, if possible.
• Cut all non-essential expenses (entertainment, eating out, subscriptions).

3. Prioritize Payments
Pay expensive loans first: Focus on debts with the highest interest rate (usually credit cards)—this is called the Avalanche Method.
Always pay at least the minimum on all debts to avoid penalty charges or further damage to your credit score.

4. Talk to Your Lenders
Request lower interest rates or extended loan tenures. Some banks and NBFCs might offer hardship or restructuring programs.
Ask about converting credit card balances into loans with lower EMIs.
Check if you qualify for a debt consolidation loan to combine all debts into one EMI at a lower rate.

5. Explore Additional Income Sources
Take up a side job or gig: tutoring, food delivery, freelancing, weekend work, etc.
Sell unused items online.
Any extra amount should go directly to debt repayment.

6. Avoid Taking On New Debt
Don’t use credit cards or personal loans for discretionary spending.
Avoid “payday loans” or instant loans with high interest.

Sample Monthly Action Plan
Step Amount Allocated
Income (per month) ?28,000
Essentials (rent, food, etc.) ~?8,000-?10,000
Debt repayments ?16,800-?18,000+ (60%+)
Other (emergency savings) ?0-?2,000
If your current minimum payments are more than your income allows, you must negotiate with lenders, as defaulting will further hurt your financial health and credit score.

Mindset Tips
• Celebrate small wins; every rupee paid reduces your stress.
• Stick to your plan—discipline will help you get through this.
• Don’t lose hope—many have successfully cleared similar debts with patience and perseverance.

Final Note
Your current income is not sufficient to clear such a large debt in a short time. Becoming debt-free will require:
• Aggressively cutting expenses
• Increasing your income wherever possible
• Negotiating with lenders for the best possible repayment terms
Seek help when needed and stay disciplined throughout the journey.

...Read more

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