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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4062 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 31, 2024

Nayagam is a certified career counsellor and the founder of EduJob360.
He started his career as an HR professional and has over 10 years of experience in tutoring and mentoring students from Classes 8 to 12, helping them choose the right stream, course and college/university.
He also counsels students on how to prepare for entrance exams for getting admission into reputed universities /colleges for their graduate/postgraduate courses.
He has guided both fresh graduates and experienced professionals on how to write a resume, how to prepare for job interviews and how to negotiate their salary when joining a new job.
Nayagam has published an eBook, Professional Resume Writing Without Googling.
He has a postgraduate degree in human resources from Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan, Delhi, a postgraduate diploma in labour law from Madras University, a postgraduate diploma in school counselling from Symbiosis, Pune, and a certification in child psychology from Counsel India.
He has also completed his master’s degree in career counselling from ICCC-Mindler and Counsel, India.
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Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Career

Sir ,I have been preparing for government exams since 2018 June firstly I prepare for gate in 2019 with college semester in 2019 gate result I.e, 2019 March I qualify with 46 marks that's somehow good score that time for me because I prepare with self study due to over confidence and lack of family income I didn't join coaching and started preparing for UPSC engineering services with full dedication at the age of 20.5 in 2019 eligible for ese 2020 with 21 yr age somehow I got 150 around marks and didn't qualify prelims that time cut off around 240 due to railway has taken his seats so UR cut off increase by 60 which is 188 last in 2019 ese so I got in depression that I prepare with full dedication and even I have a gap of 100 marks in prelims so somehow I came to home in june 2020 after a huge gap of depression in 4,5 months in delhi and started for gate and ese again same condition I couldn't even qualify prelims and got covid in 2021 and from that 2021 I joined UNACADEMY work 1.5 yrs and again I started preparation due to less salary now I have a gap of 5 years no masters degree no industrial skillls and family income less than 20k per month what should I do go and search for civil engineering related job or build a confidence and again prepare one more attempt

Ans: I have gone through the details of your Efforts, Failures, Depression & Your family’s Economic condition.

Based on the above factors, here are the suggestions for you:

1) Till your age bars, try to attempt other comparatively easier (than UPSC) Competitive Exams for Government Jobs & prepare daily for 2-3 hours before & after you come back from work.

2) But AVOID attempting those Competitive Exams which you have already done a number of times and failed. Lack of change in preparation strategies / change in Govt. Policy are the reasons for your subsequent failures.

3) Keeping in view your family’s economic condition & your AGE now, it is suggested to DEFINITELY go for any work, related to your domain, to support your family.

4) Try to upgrade your skills by joining short-term courses with any Institute, related to your domain (or) any other domain you are passionate over. However, make sure that the Institute you join provides JOB GUARANTEE after you complete the Course. Or you can join any ONLINE Courses which are much in demand in job-market.

5) If time does not permit for you to prepare for Competitive Exams & if you feel you are highly demotivated for Govt. Exams, it is advisable for you to fully FOCUS on your Career, related to Civil Engineering & gain good experience.

Hope I have clarified your doubts.

If you need any other clarifications or have questions for anyone, post your questions (in detail) to me and/or follow me here in RediffGURU for more useful information on ‘Careers / Education / Jobs’.

All The BEST for your Bright Future from RediffGURU.

Nayagam PP
EduJob360
CERTIFIED Career Coach | Career Guru
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/
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Ans: Dear Friend , When You are not focussed or keep on changing your plans , it is bound to happen. In these precious 8yrs you could have made your career in Civil Engg. However you wanted to start your consultancy or then wanted to try your hand in Govt Jobs or some times you tried your hand in teaching but quit the job. If you delay in taking a firm decision , even getting a job in your core field will be difficult. So get into a stable job and build you career.

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Ans: I fully empathize with your situation. Do focus on the positive of having completed BTech in Civil Engineering. Civil Engineering is the foundational engineering discipline and lends itself to use of new tools and technologies through use of of software to build structures using design elements that use newer materials to build infrastructure, homes, industrial townships that further sustainability. Use your current Tech Asstt job to learn about Oceanography as an added skills. Look at acquiring project management skills and explore opportunities with optimism and passion.

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I am a 20 years old guy and in my past romantic relationships, have shown signs of emotional instability, too much dependency and lack of awareness of boundaries which affected my relationships badly...I hadn’t interacted with people in a long while since 2020 (precisely when lockdown had started) and feel that some aspects of my personality are not developed fully as they should be at this age. How to work on this? Also, i have noticed that I am able to create a good first impression but it soon pales and I feel like I am subtly disrespected or talked down to, and this has been happening in all interactions...i am always respectful (often to a fault!) and even have people pleasing tendencies...i sometimes ask immature weird questions and that might probably be the reason (but they’re never inappropriate)...but i do want to gain insights into why i am experiencing what i am and how to navigate this situation well so that I can maintain healthy relationships in future. Thanks you!
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First of all, I want you to understand that it is no small feat to realize the quirks and imperfections in ourselves- you have done it. Your effort to understand and rectify them deserves to be acknowledged and appreciated.
Now, coming to your question, I can only give you some general advice on each-
Emotional instability and dependency- these behavioral patterns can stem from various factors; it can be a lack of confidence or some past issues that are left unresolved. It is difficult for me to tell you exactly why it is happening. It can also arise from a lack of validation. To manage it, you can focus on self-regulation- like meditation or journaling whenever you feel these emotions rising. This way you are expressing them but not damaging your relationships. Take up new hobbies or goals. Achieving milestones can build confidence.
Navigating Boundaries- You can speak to your partner in the early stage of the relationship to understand their boundaries. This way there will be clarity and you won't overstep. You can set up some boundaries too.
For better interpersonal skills, you can proactively follow some rules- like active listening, avoiding overthinking, asking open-ended questions, and resisting the urge to seek your partner's approval.
About the awkward questions- it is important to understand that you might perceive them as awkward, but the person opposite to you might think of it as a genuine curiosity. As long as it isn't intrusive or inappropriate, there are no awkward questions.
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If the relationship feels unsustainable despite your efforts, it may be time to consider a different path. It's understandable that you’re concerned about her well-being, especially given her mother's trust in you, but staying out of guilt or obligation can lead to further unhappiness for both of you. If you decide to part ways, doing so with kindness and honesty can help mitigate some of the hurt.

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My age is 41 years. I have two kids. Nurturing n looking after them n whole home single handedly. I am a visiting faculty in a institute . Earns very nominal earning. My husband hits me, taunts me and use very arrogant words to me like tumhe belt se maarunga n similar many worst words. His family has been always unsupportive to me . Now after 16 years of marriage, he still wants me to please his mother n other family. Which I completely avoid as they have never supported me and always boycotted me. His real brother is in politics and all family members including his cousins do follow him and boycotted me n husband. Now for everything my husband blames me and says if you gave pleased them, all might have good. But inspite of pleasing them a lot , they are like treating me like I am a stranger. I handle n manage everything still by the end of the day.... everything is in vain. Husband says...What you did for home? I will never ever give my money to you and so on. I am literally in trouble thoughts, what to do ? I even many times thought to end my life but my kids are the reason I continuously bears everything. Please suggest what shall I do.
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You have already shown great courage by managing so much on your own. Continue to seek out support and know that you are not alone in this journey. There are people and resources willing to help you find a path to a healthier and more secure life.

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