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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4091 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 31, 2024

Nayagam is a certified career counsellor and the founder of EduJob360.
He started his career as an HR professional and has over 10 years of experience in tutoring and mentoring students from Classes 8 to 12, helping them choose the right stream, course and college/university.
He also counsels students on how to prepare for entrance exams for getting admission into reputed universities /colleges for their graduate/postgraduate courses.
He has guided both fresh graduates and experienced professionals on how to write a resume, how to prepare for job interviews and how to negotiate their salary when joining a new job.
Nayagam has published an eBook, Professional Resume Writing Without Googling.
He has a postgraduate degree in human resources from Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan, Delhi, a postgraduate diploma in labour law from Madras University, a postgraduate diploma in school counselling from Symbiosis, Pune, and a certification in child psychology from Counsel India.
He has also completed his master’s degree in career counselling from ICCC-Mindler and Counsel, India.
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Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Career

Sir ,I have been preparing for government exams since 2018 June firstly I prepare for gate in 2019 with college semester in 2019 gate result I.e, 2019 March I qualify with 46 marks that's somehow good score that time for me because I prepare with self study due to over confidence and lack of family income I didn't join coaching and started preparing for UPSC engineering services with full dedication at the age of 20.5 in 2019 eligible for ese 2020 with 21 yr age somehow I got 150 around marks and didn't qualify prelims that time cut off around 240 due to railway has taken his seats so UR cut off increase by 60 which is 188 last in 2019 ese so I got in depression that I prepare with full dedication and even I have a gap of 100 marks in prelims so somehow I came to home in june 2020 after a huge gap of depression in 4,5 months in delhi and started for gate and ese again same condition I couldn't even qualify prelims and got covid in 2021 and from that 2021 I joined UNACADEMY work 1.5 yrs and again I started preparation due to less salary now I have a gap of 5 years no masters degree no industrial skillls and family income less than 20k per month what should I do go and search for civil engineering related job or build a confidence and again prepare one more attempt

Ans: I have gone through the details of your Efforts, Failures, Depression & Your family’s Economic condition.

Based on the above factors, here are the suggestions for you:

1) Till your age bars, try to attempt other comparatively easier (than UPSC) Competitive Exams for Government Jobs & prepare daily for 2-3 hours before & after you come back from work.

2) But AVOID attempting those Competitive Exams which you have already done a number of times and failed. Lack of change in preparation strategies / change in Govt. Policy are the reasons for your subsequent failures.

3) Keeping in view your family’s economic condition & your AGE now, it is suggested to DEFINITELY go for any work, related to your domain, to support your family.

4) Try to upgrade your skills by joining short-term courses with any Institute, related to your domain (or) any other domain you are passionate over. However, make sure that the Institute you join provides JOB GUARANTEE after you complete the Course. Or you can join any ONLINE Courses which are much in demand in job-market.

5) If time does not permit for you to prepare for Competitive Exams & if you feel you are highly demotivated for Govt. Exams, it is advisable for you to fully FOCUS on your Career, related to Civil Engineering & gain good experience.

Hope I have clarified your doubts.

If you need any other clarifications or have questions for anyone, post your questions (in detail) to me and/or follow me here in RediffGURU for more useful information on ‘Careers / Education / Jobs’.

All The BEST for your Bright Future from RediffGURU.

Nayagam PP
EduJob360
CERTIFIED Career Coach | Career Guru
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/
Career

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I have completed my civil engg from reputed govt college in 2016 and after that I went for gate coaching i got 35 marks in gate 2017. (I know this is not my best I can do better). After that I started preparing for technical govt exams. After one year some of my prelims were missing by .25 marks 2 marks that time I gave up. And started doing site internship to start my own civil engg consultancy firm. But I got one opportunity to do job as lecturer in polytechnic college so I started doing job at polytechnic college. After 6 months again I started doing studies and cleared mains of state 2019 PSCs Assistant engg. And missed rrb je post by 2 marks in mains. After that exam corona came and I couldn't keep myself on the track and one year again wasted. In 2021 March I have started preparing for prelims and cleared prelims and for mains exam I joined one online class named super 40 and already half syllabus was over at time.of joining so I started watching lectures and as lectures were lengthy and so much lectures were there so I couldn't do revision properly and I lost my self confidence due to that coaching and it was totally waste of money. Again that time it was time everyone was saying do software classes to get job and many of mine friends done those classes so I also joined one to get job and successfully wasted another 6 months. I don't know what to do now. I still feel that If I can study for another 5/6 months I can clear rrb je. In between I got offer of 25k per month as site engineer I denyed that. It's been 8 years since my degree and still. unemployed. Please help me out.
Ans: Dear Friend , When You are not focussed or keep on changing your plans , it is bound to happen. In these precious 8yrs you could have made your career in Civil Engg. However you wanted to start your consultancy or then wanted to try your hand in Govt Jobs or some times you tried your hand in teaching but quit the job. If you delay in taking a firm decision , even getting a job in your core field will be difficult. So get into a stable job and build you career.

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Sir i am a civil engineer graduate 2023 i did my graduation in civil engineering from a tire 2 -3 college from mumbai university . I didn’t get any job its not like that i am dum student or else i was not good at studies u definitely found partility that in civil they took all diploma + degree holders with less knowledge also in companies such a worley , godrej , technimont etc mnc companies with salary of 6-7 lpa but sir i was scattered because i lost my dad in covid my mom is working but her salary is just 50k and now after trying out for jobs as fresher i found a job in IIT bombay as project technical assistant which gives me 30k but its in ocean department. Now i want to learn further i am seeing people doing masters from priavte university like nicmar adani symbiosis etc in construction or infrastructure management. I am stuck jn life what to do im trying for government but i know government junior engineers job wont pay me much to buy home for my mom . In such case what will be best please help
Ans: I fully empathize with your situation. Do focus on the positive of having completed BTech in Civil Engineering. Civil Engineering is the foundational engineering discipline and lends itself to use of new tools and technologies through use of of software to build structures using design elements that use newer materials to build infrastructure, homes, industrial townships that further sustainability. Use your current Tech Asstt job to learn about Oceanography as an added skills. Look at acquiring project management skills and explore opportunities with optimism and passion.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025
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Hello Ma'am, I've a crush on a girl from my in laws. Inspite of avoiding etc I go specifically in that gathering where she's likely to be. I've not told it to anyone, neither does she know about it. I keep on masturbating imagining her. I know I'll never do any silly thing or let anyone know about it. Im married happily and 20 years elder to her.
Ans: It’s good that you are self-aware and acknowledging your feelings rather than acting on them impulsively. Having a crush, even in a committed relationship, is something that happens to many people—it’s human nature. However, since this involves someone from your in-laws and is significantly younger, it’s important to address these emotions in a way that aligns with your values and the commitments you’ve made to your marriage.

Right now, your mind is reinforcing this attraction by seeking out opportunities to be around her and fantasizing about her. The more you indulge in these thoughts, the stronger the emotional pull becomes. Avoiding her entirely may not be realistic, but reducing intentional exposure—such as seeking out gatherings just to be near her—can help weaken the attachment over time.

Instead of suppressing your feelings, redirect that energy into your marriage. What is it about her that attracts you? Is it youthfulness, attention, admiration, or just the thrill of something new? Whatever it is, find ways to bring those qualities into your relationship with your wife. Sometimes, an outside attraction is just a signal that something in your own life needs attention or excitement.

You’ve already made it clear to yourself that you won’t act on this, which shows maturity and self-control. The next step is breaking the mental cycle that feeds into the attraction. Engage in hobbies, meaningful conversations with your spouse, and self-reflection to understand what this infatuation represents. Over time, these feelings will lose their intensity as you shift your focus.

Do you think this crush is filling a certain emotional gap in your life, or is it purely an infatuation with no deeper meaning?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

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Relationship
Me and my wife don't get along well...She thinks my family members are not good enough, so she has no relationship with them. Earlier I was not in good shape due to my friend's circle and did not give quality time to my wife when we got married. A few years back there was a misunderstanding between both families. Mistakes were from both sides. Now my in-laws and wife do speak to any member of our family and have broken all relationships. This is for the past several years since they have stopped talking. My father is a cancer patient and wants to come and stay with me. He is 80 now but my wife is deadly against this though I have not discussed this yet with her. I need your guidance as to how to handle this situation and restore a good relationship between both families. My mother-in-law had fought with me in the past as well and held me responsible for her daughter's plight. My wife is very secretive and does not reveal anything be it about her salary/job etc. I am fed up and now I have started to think of separating if she does not allow my father to stay with me. Our marriage is almost 24 years now. I am 50 and she is in her late 40's....I want to get these things right and maintain a good relationship between both families. Kindly advise
Ans: Dear Trilok,
From what you’ve shared, it sounds like past misunderstandings between both families have turned into a long-standing rift. It’s understandable that you want to fix things and create harmony, but the resistance from your wife and in-laws makes it complicated. Before addressing the larger family conflict, the first step is to work on communication with your wife. You mentioned that earlier in the marriage, you weren’t able to give her enough quality time due to personal struggles. Do you think she still holds on to resentment from that time? If so, addressing those unresolved emotions could be a starting point for rebuilding some connection.

Since she is very secretive, it’s possible that she also feels disconnected from you in some way. Instead of making the father-staying discussion an immediate confrontation, try to understand her underlying fears. Is she worried about responsibilities, space, or past issues with your family? Bringing this up as a conversation about caregiving rather than a demand might help.

If her resistance is absolute and she refuses to even consider it, you’ll have to decide how much compromise you’re willing to make for the sake of your marriage. If you feel separation is a real possibility, ask yourself whether the relationship still has a foundation worth saving or if both of you have simply grown too far apart.

Would she be open to counseling or mediation? Sometimes a third party can help break the cycle of blame and secrecy. Do you feel that she still values this marriage, or has she emotionally distanced herself completely?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I want to retire by 2026. Current financials - MF 2cr value, equity- 5cr, 2 own homes, bank FD - 20L, Savings a/c - 90L, no loans, 2 vehicles, 2 daughters employed, marriageable age. Current expenses - 1.5lacs/month. How do I plan to retire by March 2026.
Ans: Your financial position is strong. Planning for retirement in March 2026 is realistic.

Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
Your total investments and savings exceed Rs 8 crore.
You have no loans, ensuring financial stability.
Your monthly expenses are Rs 1.5 lakh, which requires proper planning.
Creating a Secure Retirement Corpus
Maintain Rs 90 lakh in a savings account only for short-term needs.
Keep Rs 20 lakh in FD for emergency expenses.
Use a mix of mutual funds and equities for long-term wealth growth.
Managing Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) from mutual funds for a regular income.
Keep a portion of your corpus in debt investments to ensure stability.
Adjust your investment strategy based on inflation and expenses.
Planning for Major Future Expenses
Daughters' weddings need a dedicated investment plan.
Allocate a portion of low-risk investments for this goal.
Avoid withdrawing from equity investments unnecessarily.
Final Insights
Your financial standing supports early retirement.
Ensure liquidity while keeping long-term investments intact.
Work with a Certified Financial Planner for detailed execution.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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