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My family moved to Dubai in 2012. Should we return to India for my son's class 9 studies?

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2024Hindi
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I moved to Dubai in 2012 with my family. My son is in class 9. My wife wants us to return to India so he can continue his studies in India. Do you think this is a good choice? My son is good at science and math. How can I prepare him for his student life in India?

Ans: Hi there,

Returning to India for your son's education can be a good choice, especially considering his aptitude in science and math. India has a robust education system with numerous opportunities for students excelling in these subjects. Here are some considerations and steps to prepare for the transition:

Considerations:
1. Curriculum Differences: The education system and curriculum in India might be different from what your son is used to in Dubai. Research the various boards (CBSE, ICSE, State Boards, IB, etc.) to find the best fit for him.

2. School Selection: Look for schools known for their strong science and math programs. Consider their facilities, faculty, extracurricular activities, and overall environment.

3. Entrance Exams: In India, competitive exams play a significant role in higher education. Start familiarizing your son with exams like the Joint Entrance Examination (JEE) for engineering, the National Talent Search Examination (NTSE), and the Olympiads for science and math.

4. Cultural Adjustment: Moving back to India will involve cultural adjustments. Engage your son in conversations about the changes and prepare him mentally for the shift.

Preparation Steps:
1. Academic Preparation:
- Bridge Courses: Enroll him in bridge courses to align his knowledge with the Indian curriculum.
- Additional Tutoring: Consider extra tutoring in subjects where he might need more support to catch up or excel.

2. Extracurricular Activities: Encourage participation in extracurricular activities related to science and math. Robotics clubs, coding classes, and science fairs can be great platforms.

3. Soft Skills Development:
- Language Skills: If his primary language of instruction changes, ensure he gets the necessary language support.
- Social Skills: Engage him in group activities and social gatherings to help him build a network of friends.

4. Mental and Emotional Support:
- Counseling: Consider professional counseling to help him cope with the transition.
- Family Support: Ensure a supportive home environment where he can freely express his concerns and feelings.

5. Visit Schools:
- Before finalizing the move, visit potential schools with your son. This will give him a sense of involvement and help him adjust better.

Returning to India can open up numerous opportunities for your son, especially given his strengths in science and math. With the right preparation and support, he can thrive in the Indian education system.
Career

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Good morning Anu jiHope you are doing well. I am a working mother with two kids. My son is 18 years old and my daughter is 11.My office offered me to relocate to Malaysia and I opted for it.I moved with my daughter to Malaysia. My husband and son are in India. This is mutually accepted by family. The reason I chose this option was because the working environment in India office was very stressful with lots of corporate policies. My daughter has a creative mindset. She had to struggle in studies due to Indian education system. My son was in class 12 so I thought he will go to hostel for further studies. But after moving to Malaysia things got changed. My daughter goes to an international school but the standard of education is very low though fees is very high as compared to India. My son got admission in Delhi, which is good. Now, I'm confused if I should come back to India or stay in Malaysia with my daughter. My husband is very co-operative and his office is very supportive that he can work from Malaysia. Being a mother and a wife I am not able to manage this separation. But my husband wants me to grow in my career. I know in future I will have to pay a lot for my daughter's study. For the same amount she can go to a good boarding school. My son also needs my help but I want him to understand that life is not very easy, it is not for enjoyment. I didn’t want to spoil him so I decided that he will live in PG and become independent.I don't know if I am doing the right thing for my children. If I move back to India my husband will not be happy because according to him, I'm getting too emotional.I don't know what to do -- meet husband’s expectations or take the right step which is good for my family?Pls help.
Ans:

Dear NN,

Too much of confusion, mostly self-inflicted, if I may add.

You know why I say that, because there is not a mention in your letter/ email on: What is it that you want?

You have conveniently skirted it (the mind can trick you easily) and you are citing excuses to do what others want. What do you want?

Let’s out things into perspective:

1. You shifted for work and now you feel that your daughter’s education is getting impacted

2. You feel like coming back for her education, but you feel that your husband won’t be happy about it.

3. You know that your son might need you now, but then husband thinks you are emotional

It’s time the four of you as a family sat down and spoke rather than thinking and feeling.

Your children are practically adults and are capable of having a sane and conscious conversation that involves the family and their lives as well.

So there’s no more two way conversation between you parents causing more confusion.

Most families go round in circles without realising that who they are discussing about and making decisions on are not even involved in it actively.

In your case, it’s your children…involve them and let them express what they feel is right for them and what they want.

This can help clarify a lot in your mind and your husband also might be aligned to what comes through that 4-way conversation.

It will also bring all of you a while lot closer than before.

All the best!

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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
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Anu mam, I am an NRI from Dubai, married and earning a good salary here. I have two beautiful, smart kids, aged 11 and 14. My parents are getting old. They live in Alappuzha with a caretaker. In two years, we plan to relocate to India with the kids so they can continue their higher education in India. But there is a problem. My kids are used to a certain lifestyle here in Dubai. Whenever we come to India for vacation once or twice a year, the children complain of the crowd, pollution, driving behaviour, and littering habits. They are however, rooted to the culture as we celebrate all festivals and events, the Indian way. I want to understand how can I help my kids prepare to relocate to India?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, they are going to have adjustment issues for sure...
India is a place that can envelop people in warmth and yet throw challenges and when one is not raised here, it can get to the. To expect an environment here that they are used to, is not going to happen.
Considering their age, they might have challenges finding themselves within peer groups as well. Get them close to well-adjusted before you make that move...
- You can plan longer vacations in India and especially the place where you intend to settle, so that they get used to the weather, food, culture and people
- They can also during the vacation period, take part in volunteering which gives them a feel of life beyond them
- Plan a visit to the school you intend to send them to when the school is in session and request for a class attendance for a couple of days if that is possible. This will give them a clear feel of how school will be like

Ultimately, there's only so much that you can do...expect few challenges and go with that flow...it's not possible to preempt it all...but projecting a few things upfront as listed above may give them an idea and help the, with the relocation process.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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I am seeking guidance on my current financial situation. I am 50 years old, with a net take-home income of 1.42 lacs per month, while my wife earns approximately 75k monthly. We have two daughters pursuing higher education, with annual fees totalling 6.10 lacs. In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, I faced a significant setback when I was unable to pay my home loan EMI, leading me to opt for a moratorium. Despite having already paid approximately 43.85 lakhs towards my home loan of 58.50 lakhs taken in 2017, the principal outstanding has astonishingly increased to 59.45 lakhs. I now find myself committed to an EMI of 65,000 monthly, further straining our financial resources. To cover both my daughters first-year college fees, I took out a gold loan of 5.5 lakhs, for which I currently pay 50,000 a month. I had invested in a family health insurance policy with Star Health, covering 10 lakhs, but due to poor service I stopped paying my premium, which had an accrued value of 17.50 lakhs. I hold a provident fund account with a balance of 2.5 lakhs. I am concerned about planning for my elder daughter's wedding in the next 2 to 3 years and my retirement. I would appreciate any advice or strategies you could provide to help me navigate this situation effectively.
Ans: Hello;

Try and understand from the home loan lender as to how 59.45 L principal is overdue despite paying a sum of 43.85 L, despite factoring 80% of this as interest payment, the overdue principal should be below 50 L.

Double check if this is as per the terms of moratorium.

If you are not satisfied with replies from the lender escalate the matter to the highest authority at lender or RBI.

Lender can't behave irrationally just because you availed moratorium during COVID.

In my view you should have just sold the gold rather then taking loan against it.

That way you could have lessened EMI burden on your finances and ensured investments for retirement and other goals.

Unfortunately we have a tradition of attaching emotional value to precious metals and real estate.

The best "jewellery" you can offer to your kids is good education, which you have already done.

In matters of health insurance never discontinue a policy due to dissatisfaction with the insurer, port it to another insurer, 1.5/2 months before the renewal date so that your benefits remain intact. Now you may be need to find another health care insurance.

You may begin a monthly sip of 25-30 K in diversified large cap oriented mutual fund for 5 years.

Also give a thought to NPS, you can contribute till 70 age, for retirement pension.

Best wishes;

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I am 42 years old male currently working as a software engineer in a private company and drawing 1.1 lakhs per month. I have 2 school going kids. My monthly expenses are around 80K per month including rent. I don't have any personal property in my name. I have invested 50L in postal term deposit(yearly payout), 20L in Shriram transport finance FD(monthly payout), 11 lakh in HDFC balanced fund dividend(monthly payout), 6L in bank FD(monthly payout) all in my wife's name. I have invested 28L in my HUF account against Shriram Transport Finance FD (monthly payout). I have around 20L in EPF and Gratuity. I have around 8 lakhs in miscellaneous Mutual funds with a monthly sip of around 36K. Most of my investments pay me monthly return except this SIP. I have done so as software job is very fragile which can go any time. However I have maxed out on the return I can take per year on my wife's head (7L) and HUF(2.5L) without tax liability. Please advise how I can invest further to get returns so that I can quickly withstand any job loss.
Ans: Hello;

You have already made sufficient provisions to survive a job loss because your passive monthly income is now almost covering your monthly expenses.

But if you need added back-up you may keep expenses worth 6 months(@ 5 L) in a liquid type mutual fund.

Focus on 3 goals;
1. Children's education
2. Retirement
3. House

If you again keep investing in fixed income bearing instruments then you may not be able to grow a corpus to fund these goals.

A mutual fund sip(36 K) is a step in the right direction. I believe these are scheme with Growth option.

Hope you have EPF/NPS/PPF investments as well.

Happy Investing;

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