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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 01, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
NN Question by NN on Nov 01, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Good morning Anu ji
Hope you are doing well.
I am a working mother with two kids.
My son is 18 years old and my daughter is 11.
My office offered me to relocate to Malaysia and I opted for it.
I moved with my daughter to Malaysia. My husband and son are in India. This is mutually accepted by family.
The reason I chose this option was because the working environment in India office was very stressful with lots of corporate policies.
My daughter has a creative mindset. She had to struggle in studies due to Indian education system.
My son was in class 12 so I thought he will go to hostel for further studies.

But after moving to Malaysia things got changed. My daughter goes to an international school but the standard of education is very low though fees is very high as compared to India. My son got admission in Delhi, which is good.
Now, I'm confused if I should come back to India or stay in Malaysia with my daughter.
My husband is very co-operative and his office is very supportive that he can work from Malaysia.
Being a mother and a wife I am not able to manage this separation. But my husband wants me to grow in my career.
I know in future I will have to pay a lot for my daughter's study. For the same amount she can go to a good boarding school.
My son also needs my help but I want him to understand that life is not very easy, it is not for enjoyment.
I didn’t want to spoil him so I decided that he will live in PG and become independent.

I don't know if I am doing the right thing for my children.
If I move back to India my husband will not be happy because according to him, I'm getting too emotional.

I don't know what to do -- meet husband’s expectations or take the right step which is good for my family?
Pls help.

Ans:

Dear NN,

Too much of confusion, mostly self-inflicted, if I may add.

You know why I say that, because there is not a mention in your letter/ email on: What is it that you want?

You have conveniently skirted it (the mind can trick you easily) and you are citing excuses to do what others want. What do you want?

Let’s out things into perspective:

1. You shifted for work and now you feel that your daughter’s education is getting impacted

2. You feel like coming back for her education, but you feel that your husband won’t be happy about it.

3. You know that your son might need you now, but then husband thinks you are emotional

It’s time the four of you as a family sat down and spoke rather than thinking and feeling.

Your children are practically adults and are capable of having a sane and conscious conversation that involves the family and their lives as well.

So there’s no more two way conversation between you parents causing more confusion.

Most families go round in circles without realising that who they are discussing about and making decisions on are not even involved in it actively.

In your case, it’s your children…involve them and let them express what they feel is right for them and what they want.

This can help clarify a lot in your mind and your husband also might be aligned to what comes through that 4-way conversation.

It will also bring all of you a while lot closer than before.

All the best!

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Anu Krishna  |1545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2023Hindi
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Hello Anu, Hope you are doing good!! Background of Persons: I had arranged married since last once year. I already told them before proceeding that I want to continue my carrier and grow forward in the same city. Also, I want to leave in a joint family along with my parents. My spouse is working in government sector. She told me that my Job is transferrable and i am ok moving forward with you. I am working in MNC at good position and also supporting my family members in their business. Problem: My wife is forcing me to leave separately, shift to another city and start from scratch(zero) in different city having different cultural background. She is also working in government sector and not taking transfer to spouse(husband's) city. Even after explaining couple of times, she is resisting to re-allocate. I am ok if she does anything independently for earning in same city. Also, I will help her in getting the job in private sector in the same city. Also, I will get her employed in another sector through my contacts and preparing her. I am not dependent on her in terms of financial things. We are living separately due to work duties and spent time together for a week in every month or two month as per the adjustment from both of us. My spouse is not talking properly to me, threating me to get divorce. I already had financial and social liabilities on myself which my wife is aware about. I had not seen positive responses from her towards myself, my family and goals. I am ready to leave separately in the same city even if she earns or not. Question: It looks to high danger to me moving to different part of the country having different cultures starting from scratch based on assessments on different parameters. What is the better solution for this ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, there isn't much that you can do!
It's possible that your spouse suddenly feels that she might lose more than she gains by any move that she makes. You possibly feel the same.
This only means that both of you have not considered what marriage is and could be. You are using marriage to bring out differences rather than build trust. It's a year and if both of you have not managed to stay true to bringing the best out of each other, I wonder what will make you do that!

Kindly set aside the childish squabbles and suggest to your wife that the two of you need to work on this. Threats may kindly be kept aside...it only widens the gap between the two of you. Bring the conversation to a place where you talk about what it is now and how the two of you want it to be independently to you AND then work on bringing it to WIN-WIN...

Is this possible? Yes, it is provided you channel the conversation as mature adults without threats and pointing our faults and working towards putting the marriage together.

All the best!

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have gone my job switch from Noida to Mumbai is banking industry. My wife works in IT firm Gurgaon require to go to office quarterly for 3 days. We have shifted to Mumbai and living in Kandivali east Lokhandwala township. I have daughter 2.5 yrs old we used to send her to playgroup in Noida which have live cctv camera access for parents. In mumbai, it is raining these days and playgroups don't have cctv access to parents. Also accomodation rent is high. Wife wanted to go to Noida and stay there with kid. They will hire maid also full time. My travelling time is also very high 2.30 hrs one side from office to home end to end. Struggling to adjust in mumbai. Because of small houses, playgroup quality, cultural issue , everything. We want advise whether we stay together in mumbai and how things are going or send family to Noida and i am shifting near by office in Lower Parel.
Ans: From a relationship perspective, it's crucial to balance the emotional and practical aspects of your decision. Staying together in Mumbai strengthens your bond and allows you to support each other daily. However, the high living costs, small spaces, and lack of quality playgroups with CCTV access can add stress, compounded by your long commute.

If your wife and daughter move to Noida, they would have a more comfortable environment and better childcare options. However, this means you'll miss daily interactions and could feel emotionally distant over time.

Consider moving closer to your workplace in Mumbai, like Lower Parel, to reduce your commute and spend more time with your family. Also, explore local playgroup options thoroughly, as you might find one that meets your security concerns.

Ultimately, prioritize what provides the most stability and happiness for your family. Open communication with your wife about your concerns and potential solutions is key. Whether you stay in Mumbai or consider temporary separation, ensure regular visits and communication to maintain your bond and stay involved in your daughter's upbringing.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Hi Anu I am a married woman with a very supportive husband and daughter. For last 10 years I am having an affair with a colleague and things are pretty well between us. Both of us have found the comfort and requisite from each other which we missed in married life and it saved our respective marriage though none of our family are aware of it. We balanced this till now effectively. Recently I got an opportunity within the company which is very lucrative and will enhance my career goals altogether however, for this I have to shift to another state. Now , my bf is very upset on this as it means he will not be able to meet me as we do every day. My husband and Daughter is fine with my shifting however my parents who are old are also apprehensive since I am the only child and do take care of them. My husband has assured to support them in absence of me and I have full confidence on him. All throughout my life I have focused on my professional career and have worked towards that and now when I got this opportunity I am emotionally unstable and unable to take the decision. My dilemma is surrounding various aspects. 1- Don’t want to leave my BF as he is my strength. 2- My parents are old and since I being the only child,they ae 3- If I could not perform in the new role then? 4- The daily hardship that I have to take over in a new place as my husband will not shift. 5- Remuneration wise not as such however if you say power then yes. Learning – knowledge enhancement and career upliftment - yes very much. 6- Current role will not grow much however stability as of now do exists. Can you help me to take the decision ?
Ans: Dear Nibedita,
What is important to you and what helps you grow professionally and personally must be looked at? Constraints are always going to play a role BUT working around it may help you make a decision. If professionally you are going to grow into the role and for this you need to work around things for the time being, then you must do just that. But in all this, do factor that you have a daughter who is still young and will need your presence a lot; physically and emotionally.
Now, how you work this with your BF is something that is between the two of you; but it's not power or money BUT how you grow in your new role.
Also, talk to your family and come to an arrangement whereby they also become your pillar of strength and support. You will then be able to come to a viable decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4272 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 06, 2025

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My son secure 97.03 percentile in jee main session 1 in general category can he get CSE in any NIT
Ans: Shashi Sir,

How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results are declared, many students and JEE applicants start asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, and preparation strategies, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4272 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 05, 2025Hindi
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Career
My son has got 99.6 percentile in JEE mains 2025 jan . What should be the possible options and priority of sequence ?
Ans: How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results are declared, many students and JEE applicants start asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, and preparation strategies, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

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