Good morning Anu ji
Hope you are doing well.
I am a working mother with two kids.
My son is 18 years old and my daughter is 11.
My office offered me to relocate to Malaysia and I opted for it.
I moved with my daughter to Malaysia. My husband and son are in India. This is mutually accepted by family.
The reason I chose this option was because the working environment in India office was very stressful with lots of corporate policies.
My daughter has a creative mindset. She had to struggle in studies due to Indian education system.
My son was in class 12 so I thought he will go to hostel for further studies.
But after moving to Malaysia things got changed. My daughter goes to an international school but the standard of education is very low though fees is very high as compared to India. My son got admission in Delhi, which is good.
Now, I'm confused if I should come back to India or stay in Malaysia with my daughter.
My husband is very co-operative and his office is very supportive that he can work from Malaysia.
Being a mother and a wife I am not able to manage this separation. But my husband wants me to grow in my career.
I know in future I will have to pay a lot for my daughter's study. For the same amount she can go to a good boarding school.
My son also needs my help but I want him to understand that life is not very easy, it is not for enjoyment.
I didn’t want to spoil him so I decided that he will live in PG and become independent.
I don't know if I am doing the right thing for my children.
If I move back to India my husband will not be happy because according to him, I'm getting too emotional.
I don't know what to do -- meet husband’s expectations or take the right step which is good for my family?
Pls help.

Dear PS,

Typical nuclear family with very little family support relies solely on the mother being the caregiver and this can result in a lot of frustrations. Understood!

But what exactly are you trying to do fighting the situation knowing that things might be the same for a few years down the line till the children grow a little older? Are you planning on being frustrated for all these years?

Also, someone needs to give your husband a talk on these gender specific remarks and pushing the job of the home to you.

Maybe he didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but well…

In the digital world, there is enough and more to do to use the skills that a person has. So why not explore, a work-from-home part time option?

Depending on what your expertise is and the time that you can give to the work from home option, why don’t you focus on searching for this?

This will require an amazing time management and organization skills on your part, so you are able to give it at least 3-4 hours a day.

This will not only keep you occupied and financially stronger, it will also give you a sense of direction and purpose which is what is currently lacking.

Also, if you have an option of a ‘nanny’ for even two hours during the day when the children can be kept busy, you can even have some time for yourself which will re-energize you.

Caring for two small children is no mean feat and make sure when you discuss the work-from-home option (If you choose this), with your husband, you emphasize how important it is for you along with managing the home.

The commitment ‘to do something for yourself’ will be the focus of your discussion and please do something before your frustrations start seeping out and get onto the kids which might eventually happen.

First, be happy yourself to nurture your home and family.

Step Up…All the best!