Good morning Anu ji
Hope you are doing well.
I am a working mother with two kids.
My son is 18 years old and my daughter is 11.
My office offered me to relocate to Malaysia and I opted for it.
I moved with my daughter to Malaysia. My husband and son are in India. This is mutually accepted by family.
The reason I chose this option was because the working environment in India office was very stressful with lots of corporate policies.
My daughter has a creative mindset. She had to struggle in studies due to Indian education system.
My son was in class 12 so I thought he will go to hostel for further studies.
But after moving to Malaysia things got changed. My daughter goes to an international school but the standard of education is very low though fees is very high as compared to India. My son got admission in Delhi, which is good.
Now, I'm confused if I should come back to India or stay in Malaysia with my daughter.
My husband is very co-operative and his office is very supportive that he can work from Malaysia.
Being a mother and a wife I am not able to manage this separation. But my husband wants me to grow in my career.
I know in future I will have to pay a lot for my daughter's study. For the same amount she can go to a good boarding school.
My son also needs my help but I want him to understand that life is not very easy, it is not for enjoyment.
I didn’t want to spoil him so I decided that he will live in PG and become independent.
I don't know if I am doing the right thing for my children.
If I move back to India my husband will not be happy because according to him, I'm getting too emotional.
I don't know what to do -- meet husband’s expectations or take the right step which is good for my family?
Pls help.

Ans: Current Financial Overview
Income: Rs. 1.3 lakh per month.
Assets:
Rs. 10 lakh in equity.
Rs. 10 lakh in mutual funds.
Rs. 2.5 lakh in PPF.
Rs. 8 lakh in physical gold.
Shop valued at Rs. 50 lakh (Rs. 14,000 per month in rent).
Rs. 15 lakh in EPF.
Rs. 5 lakh in gratuity.
Rs. 12 lakh in liquid cash.
Own house valued at Rs. 1.5 crore.
Liabilities: No liabilities mentioned.
Current Monthly Expense: Rs. 50,000.
Future Plans: Your son wants to pursue engineering and potentially study abroad for his master’s degree.
Evaluating Your Desire to Quit Your Job
Current Situation: Your job requires you to travel 250 km daily, leading to frustration. You have a strong interest in technical services.

Financial Impact: Quitting your job will reduce your monthly income. To replace this income, you will need to generate income from your investments.

Mental Well-being: Pursuing a career in something you love is important. Transitioning to a technical service-based career could offer you happiness and peace of mind.

Immediate Income Generation Options
Shop Rental Income: You already receive Rs. 14,000 monthly. This can be a stable source of income, but it falls short of your Rs. 30,000 goal.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

You could invest part of your liquid assets in mutual funds and opt for an SWP.
SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount monthly, offering steady cash flow.
Investing Rs. 50 lakh in mutual funds via SWP could generate around Rs. 30,000 per month.
Long-term Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds:

Continue your investments in mutual funds for long-term growth.
You have Rs. 10 lakh in mutual funds already. Consider adding more if your risk appetite allows.
Invest in a mix of equity and hybrid funds to balance growth and stability.
Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Your PPF account holds Rs. 2.5 lakh. Continue contributing to it as it offers tax-free returns and is a safe long-term investment.
Equity Investments:

Rs. 10 lakh in equity can potentially grow significantly over 10-15 years.
This will support your long-term goals, especially for your son's education.
Gold Investments:

Gold can act as a hedge against inflation but doesn’t generate regular income.
Consider holding onto it as a safety net but not relying on it for income.
Emergency Fund:

Rs. 12 lakh in liquid cash serves as your emergency fund. Maintain this fund to cover unforeseen expenses.
Future Planning for Your Son’s Education
Abroad Education: If your son aims to study abroad for his master’s, you’ll need significant funds.

Start earmarking investments specifically for his education.
Consider creating a separate mutual fund portfolio for this purpose.
Technical Education for Yourself:

Since you have an interest in technical services, consider investing in courses or certifications.
This investment in yourself can lead to a new income stream.
Contingency Planning
Health and Insurance:

Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for your family.
Consider getting term insurance to protect your family’s financial future.
Retirement Planning:

Your EPF, gratuity, and PPF will support you in retirement.
Continue contributing to these to ensure a comfortable post-retirement life.
Assessing the Feasibility of Quitting Your Job
Income Replacement: With the SWP strategy and rental income, you could achieve your Rs. 30,000 monthly income goal.

Pursuing Passion: Transitioning to a technical service career might initially reduce your income but could lead to long-term satisfaction.

Final Insights
Balanced Approach: Continue your current job while gradually building your technical skills and exploring new opportunities.

Investment Strategy: Use your assets to create multiple income streams. This will give you the financial freedom to make a career change.

Long-term Focus: Keep an eye on your son’s education and retirement needs. Your investments should cater to these long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How exactly do you expect a special child to cope in a boarding school? I am sure that is something that has crossed your mind.
My questions for you:
Does it bother you that this man does not accept your life as is? If Yes, read on...
Does it bother you that you are the one who is making changes to accommodate this person? If Yes, read on...
Would you have liked it if he willingly had accepted your life as is? If Yes, read on...

Think about this a lot before you make a decision to be with him. There's a lot to think as a parent and he isn't one and may never get the point of how your life is. Take you time before you decide anything...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: start by having a direct and open conversation with your prospective partner. It’s crucial to clearly communicate your feelings about the elder child staying at home, especially regarding the need for privacy and the impact of his aggressive behavior. Explain how this change affects your comfort and daily life, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a harmonious living environment.

In tackling the privacy issue, consider discussing potential adjustments to the home’s layout. Creating separate living spaces or setting up rules that establish personal boundaries can help ensure everyone feels comfortable. Developing a routine that allows for private time with your daughter will also be essential in maintaining a balance.

Regarding the transition to a small town, research the local job market thoroughly. Look for opportunities that align with your career goals and consider remote work options if they’re available. It’s also important to engage with the local community to build a support network. Attend community events, meet potential neighbors, and get a feel for the town’s environment. Having a backup plan, such as maintaining connections in your current city or setting aside a financial cushion, will give you added security should the move not work out as expected.

Blending families is a significant emotional and practical challenge, so consider family counseling as a way to address potential conflicts and improve communication. A counselor can provide valuable strategies to help everyone adjust to the new living arrangements and understand each other’s perspectives. To ease into this change, propose a trial period where you can test the dynamics without committing long-term right away. This will give you the opportunity to evaluate how well you and your daughter adapt to the new situation.

Lastly, it’s essential to address your fear of being alone. Reframe this fear by focusing on the positives of independence. Remind yourself that it’s better to be single and emotionally secure than in a relationship that feels overwhelming or stifling. Use this time to invest in personal growth, hobbies, and building a fulfilling life for you and your daughter. Keeping an open mind about future relationships is healthy, but it’s important to ensure any new partnership aligns with your values and meets your emotional needs.

By taking these steps, you can approach the situation with clarity, ensuring that any decision you make is grounded in what’s best for your well-being and that of your daughter.

Ans: Dear Nibedita,
What is important to you and what helps you grow professionally and personally must be looked at? Constraints are always going to play a role BUT working around it may help you make a decision. If professionally you are going to grow into the role and for this you need to work around things for the time being, then you must do just that. But in all this, do factor that you have a daughter who is still young and will need your presence a lot; physically and emotionally.
Now, how you work this with your BF is something that is between the two of you; but it's not power or money BUT how you grow in your new role.
Also, talk to your family and come to an arrangement whereby they also become your pillar of strength and support. You will then be able to come to a viable decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/