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Chocko

Chocko Valliappa  | Answer  |Ask -

Tech Entrepreneur, Educationist - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Chocko Valliappa is the founder and CEO of Vee Technologies, a global IT services company; HireMee, a talent assessment and talent management start-up; and vice chairman of The Sona Group of education institutions.
A fourth-generation entrepreneur, Valliappa is a member of Confederation of Indian Industry, Nasscom, Entrepreneurs Organization and Young Presidents’ Organization.
He was honoured by the YPO with their Global Social Impact award in 2018.
An alumnus of Christ College, Bangalore, Valliappa holds a degree in textile technology and management from the South India Textile Research Association. His advanced research in the Czech Republic led to the creation of innovative polyester spinning machinery.... more
Savendra Question by Savendra on May 21, 2024Hindi
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Hi Sir ! I have 25 years experience in my field, basically am an electrical engineer and expertise in oil and gas industry. Having rich experience in Refinery O&M and in CGD project, LNG project and cross country pipe line work, but last 1 yr am not getting much more opportunities in this field. How can I explore more opportunity in this field to get a job call. I am 52 yrs old. pl advise.

Ans: You have a very robust experience in a field that serves as a lifeline of plant earth. There are innovative new green filed projects coming up in solar, wind, underwater energy that can use your operations and project management skills. Use your network of friends, colleagues, seniors, vendors to learn about areas that are throwing up jobs for experts like you.
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Ravi

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025
Relationship
Why do men ghost after sex? I met this amazing guy on Hinge. He was 27, well-mannered, and worked in a data firm in Mumbai. We spoke daily for three months and had amazing chemistry. From music to food, we discussed everything under the sun. We went on a couple of dates to get to know each other. When we got comfortable, we got intimate and eventually had consensual s** at his friend's house party. One week after we got intimate, he just vanished. No replies, no calls. It was my first time, so I kept wondering if I had done something wrong to upset him. My friend says it could be post-intimacy guilt. But I feel embarrassed, ashamed. I can't shake off the shame. Did I move too fast? Is this how dating works now? How can I go back to feeling normal again?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry you are going through this. What happened is just as confusing as it is hurtful. Let’s get one thing straight, you did nothing wrong. You are not at fault here. Nothing you could’ve done or said should or could cause this reaction.
Coming to your first question, it is very difficult to answer it without generalizing all men. But some of the most reasons for this could be:
He got what he wanted. It sounds crass but in most cases, this is the truth. He had no intentions of being more than just that.
He might be avoiding responsibility. He didn’t want more, and the mature thing would have been to sit down and have that discussion with you. But, maturity isn’t easy and he chose the easy route, that is to ghost. His decision to disappear is a reflection of his nature, not yours.
Coming to what your friend said, it could be that too, but the chances are slim. Some men do feel overwhelmed but disappearing for over a week is a stretch. Again, it’s his unreadiness to feel so many emotions, not yours.
Now, I want to gently nudge you towards one thing: you said you feel ashamed. Shame creeps in when you hold yourself accountable for someone else’s actions. And also due to societal prejudice. Keep both aside, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Did you move too fast? To be honest, there is no fast or slow in these things. There’s no set timeline. You did what you felt was right in the moment. And you were ready to step up, but he went MIA. The entire unfortunate turnout is not because of your pace but his lack of respect. Even if he comes up with a good enough reason for this disappearing act, I still want you to remember that not even for a second, you had anything to create this situation.


I hope this helps.

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