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Anu Krishna  |816 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 17, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Upendra Question by Upendra on May 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My 11 years daughters Stammers at times. She is ok when she has to narrate things of her own. When Stammers when she has to make things explain. Please suggest me.

Ans: Dear Upendra,
It could be possible that she is under some sort of anxiety to get things right while explaining it.
Even a small incident from childhood where she was stopped when she was explaining and felt conscious, can trigger the same event later in life as well.
When did this stammering begin? Was it when she began talking or much later?
If much later, what event occurred just prior to that? This can be a good indicator of the WHY behind her stammering.
And why I feel this way is because you say that she is okay narrating things on her own but stammers only when she has to explain things. Also a point that you can pay attention to is: Is it when she explains anything or only certain things?
- You can try and work with this by yourself at home by allowing her to gain confidence when she explains, encouraging her rather than making her aware of it.
- Standing in front of the mirror and rehearsing/explaining can give her feedback instantly without her having to feel embarrassed in front of anyone
- Mind games to increase confidence can be introduced (you can seek the help of a therapist)
- Spend a lot of time together as a family in love and care which ensures her that she is never alone

If you still feel that things are not improving, I suggest that you visit a therapist or a psychologist who can guide her through this.

All the best!

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Ans: Dear Shruti,

I am sorry that you are in this situation. First of all, please try to look at it from your partner's perspective. It isn't easy to confront your parents and it's even harder when they stop communicating altogether. Having said that, I also understand how it is for you. It is not fair, especially in today's day and age, to face discrimination based on caste.

You have two options:
One, you wait patiently, emotionally support your boyfriend, and hope that his parents come to their senses and realize that we are living in 2024, and caste-based discrimination is ridiculous. In this scenario, you do have to let go of your self-respect and have to face many more hardships, that much is guaranteed.

The second option is you hold your head high and move on. Yes, it isn't what you hoped for when you emotionally invested in building this relationship, but unfortunately, these things are still happening. In this scenario, you will be sad for a long time, but you don't have to compromise on your self-respect and you will move on and live to see happier days with someone who respects you and sees you for who you are and not your caste.

Now, the choice is yours.

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