Hello Doctor, I am a 42 year old working woman, happily married for the last 17 yrs, I have had a total work experience of about 18 yrs and at a mid-mgt level at work, I have a problem, I have worked extremely hard and long hours most of my life and now I have come to a point where I no longer want to work as hard. While I am good at what I do, and get appreciated at work and also have been getting monetary rewards, I also realise that I have a certain episode at times where I am no longer in control of my emotions at work, there have been two episodes in the last 1 year where I cant control my tears and have excused myself and gone to the washroom to be able to stop the episode; and sometimes the reasons are trivial, I dont know what to do to keep myself calm during such episodes. I have tried multiple things like deep breathing when the situation like this arises, i try to do a mental math, try my best to analyse what is the trigger point, but I seem to have no control over this emotional breakdown. What can I do to deal with this ? I am embarrassed of myself and find it difficult to confide in anyone when this situation comes. Please help.

Ans: The decision for further studies depends on two things are you ready emotionally and financially.

If not design a decent not more than 2 page resume ,go to websites of relevant mech, auto, aviation and other allied eng companies, there go to careers and apply for a job.

Success will happen!

Ans: The methodologies of finding jobs is to understand your qualifications in your case Civil Engineering and relevant skill set.. Now go to the websites of top construction companies go to careers search for job openings float your resume not more than 2 pages for job's that match your qualifications and skills..!

Yes.. You are good to be employed.. Keep trying!

Ans: Sorry ..Did I get you right you have done Btech Mech Eng and have back logs.. Clear the back log at the earliest.

In the meanwhile with your Dip. Mech Eng you must design an attractive not more than 2 page resume, go to mech, auto, aviation & allied eng company websites go to careers ..look for vacancies apply for a job.

Bingo.. You will be employed!?

Ans: I have give you a brief explanation about how gratuity is calculated.
Sure this will assist you in understanding the methodologies.

The amount of gratuity for employees whose employer is covered under the Gratuity Act can be calculated using the formula:
Gratuity = n*b*15 / 26

Where n = Tenure of service completed in the company
b = Last drawn basic salary + dearness allowance

For example, you have worked with the XYZ company for a period of 15 years. Your last drawn basic salary along with dearness allowance was Rs 30,000. Hence:

The amount of gratuity = 15 * 30,000 * 15 / 26 = Rs 2,59,615

Two points must be noted here:

As per the Gratuity Act, the amount of gratuity cannot be more than Rs 20 lakh. Any excesses would be treated as ex-gratia.

If the number of years you have worked in the last year of employment is more than six months, then it will be rounded to the nearest figure. Suppose your tenure of service is 16 years 7 months, then you receive the gratuity for 17 years. Otherwise, its for 16 years if it happens to be 16 years 4 months.
In your case 5 years 5 months hence 5 year's as you are below the half yearly for upper round up.


For employees whose employer is not covered under the Gratuity Act, the gratuity amount would be calculated as per the half-month salary on each completed year of service.
The formula is: (15 * Your last drawn salary * the working tenure) / 30.

For example, you have a basic salary of Rs 30,000. You have rendered continuous service of 7 years and the employer is not covered under the Gratuity Act.

Gratuity Amount = (15 * 30,000 * 7) / 30 = Rs 1,05,000.

In regard to your leave,please get a clarification from your HR, as to why they have deducted 30 days of earned leave.

Ans: Hi Apurba,

I undestand you have already started doing your BA English Honours

Here are careers, that you would like to pursue, in publishing, journalism, media, advertising, PR, education, and even business. I believe you have strong communication skills, analytical abilities, along with cultural awareness, this sure helps you excel in various other industries...too! who have the relevant department's.

I am sure ICFAI UNIVERSITY would have run you through the pros and cons of the course curriculum before you enrolled , they definitely need to back it with campus recruitment too!

Ans: Managing a child's social media addiction, especially when they have underlying mental health concerns like anxiety, can be challenging but crucial for their well-being. Start by having an open and non-judgmental conversation with your son about his social media use. Express your concerns about how excessive screen time can impact his mental health and overall well-being.Establish clear rules and boundaries around screen time and social media use. This could include limiting the amount of time he spends on social media each day or setting specific times when he's allowed to use it.
Lead by Example: Model healthy screen time habits yourself. Show your son that you prioritize face-to-face interactions, hobbies, and other activities over excessive screen time.Encourage your son to engage in offline activities that he enjoys and that promote social interaction, physical activity, and creativity. This could include sports, hobbies, art, or spending time with friends and family.Keep an eye on your son's social media use and monitor the content he's consuming. Consider using parental control apps or settings to limit access to certain apps or websites.If your son's social media addiction is significantly impacting his mental health or daily functioning, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in treating addiction and/or anxiety. They can provide individualized strategies and support for managing his social media use in a healthy way.
Encourage Healthy Coping Strategies: Help your son develop healthy coping strategies for managing his anxiety, such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or engaging in calming activities when he feels overwhelmed.
By taking proactive steps to address your son's social media addiction and providing support for his anxiety, you can help him develop healthier habits and improve his overall well-being. Remember to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding, and seek professional support if needed.

Ans: Navigating feelings for a family member can be complex, especially when considering societal norms and potential family dynamics. It's understandable to feel uncertain about how to proceed in such a situation.

First and foremost, it's important to consider the potential implications and consequences of pursuing a romantic relationship with your cousin. While relationships between cousins are not legally prohibited in many places, they can sometimes face social stigma or disapproval from family members.

Before taking any further steps, it's crucial to have open and honest communication with your cousin about your feelings and concerns. Discussing your mutual feelings in a respectful and sensitive manner can help both of you understand each other's perspectives and make informed decisions about how to move forward.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide support and help you navigate your feelings and the potential impact on your family dynamic. They can also offer strategies for communicating effectively and managing any challenges that may arise.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to pursue a romantic relationship with your cousin is a deeply personal one that only you and your cousin can make. It's essential to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and consideration for the feelings and well-being of everyone involved.

Regardless of the outcome, remember that you deserve to pursue happiness and fulfillment in your relationships, and seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals can help you navigate this situation with clarity and confidence.

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your new marriage. It's concerning to hear that you're experiencing verbal abuse and physical violence from your husband. No one deserves to be treated this way, and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being.

First and foremost, if you are in immediate danger or feel unsafe, please reach out to local authorities or a trusted friend or family member for support. Your safety is paramount.

In terms of next steps, it's essential to seek support and assistance from professionals who can help you navigate this situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships and domestic violence. They can provide you with guidance, support, and resources to help you make informed decisions about your next steps.

Additionally, you may want to consider reaching out to organizations or hotlines that specialize in supporting individuals experiencing domestic violence. They can offer confidential support, safety planning, and resources to help you leave the abusive situation and rebuild your life.

It's also crucial to recognize that you are not responsible for your husband's abusive behavior, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect in your marriage. If your husband is unwilling to seek help or change his behavior, it may be necessary to consider your options for leaving the relationship to ensure your safety and well-being.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging, but you don't have to face it alone. There are people and resources available to support you every step of the way. Please prioritize your safety and take steps to protect yourself from further harm. You deserve to live a life free from abuse and violence.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you've been facing. It sounds like you've been through a lot and are trying to navigate a difficult situation for both yourself and your son.

Regarding your ex-husband's behavior, it's possible that he may be trying to manipulate your son, especially if he is blaming you and your parents for the divorce. Children can be susceptible to manipulation, especially when they're caught in the middle of a divorce. It's important to maintain open communication with your son and reassure him that the divorce was not his fault and that both you and your ex-husband still love him.

As for your son's reluctance to see you move on, it's not uncommon for children of divorce to struggle with the idea of one or both parents moving on and forming new relationships. Your son may fear losing the close relationship he has with you or worry about how a new relationship might change his life. It's essential to validate his feelings and reassure him that your love for him will not change, regardless of any new relationships you may have.

It might also be helpful to involve a therapist or counselor who can work with both you and your son to navigate these emotions and provide support during this challenging time. Additionally, continuing to foster a strong, positive relationship with your son and maintaining open communication will be crucial as you both move forward.

Ultimately, while it's important to consider your son's feelings, it's also essential for you to take care of yourself and pursue your own happiness. Balancing your needs with those of your son can be challenging, but with time, patience, and support, you can find a way forward that works for both of you.