Hello madam/sir, I have a question in my mind. I work in a bank. I donot like to talk much with anyone, while other colleagues are free among themselves. Does this emit any sense of ego, or haughtiness or the likes from me? How do others perceive my behaviour? I do reply their questions, wherever possible. Or else i prefer to be in me. Their questions sometimes are more of spiral in nature. Please help.

Ans: If you are an introvert and wish to stay so, that is fine... every workplace has different personalities and that shouldn't be a reason for others to misunderstand you.

But if you do want to work on that aspect, you can do small exercises to help you work towards extroversion. You can consciously take initiative to speak up with colleagues over lunch or coffee breaks and build rapport with them. Think up a couple of topics in your mind beforehand so that you feel more prepared.


It does take a while to get out of your comfort zone but take small steps and you should be there.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Two things to understand here:
1. You are an introvert and you are happy being one
2. You are a forced introvert as you are unable to break the walls that you have put around you.

If you belong to the first category, enjoy the state of bliss as is. But from what I gather, you seem to falling under the second category wherein you want to expand your social circle and be a part of activities etc.
Then you have to put yourself out there.
1. Do understand that as much you want to be engaged with like-minded people, even these people will at some point in time think different from you.
2. Do accept people for who they are and that way you will come from a non-judgemental space while engaging with them.
3. Do connect with people who are totally different from you and it will help you expand your mind to be curious about them.

If this is a difficult thing to do...think....What if one of your children came to you with the same problem that you have now? What would you tell them to do?
Also, get into circles on social media that discuss topics which interest you. Join a gym or a hobby class and that is an avenue to make new friends irrespective of gender.
To add more friends, you need to be friendly as well...so open your heart and mind...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Sir/ Madam,

Hope you are doing well.

Apology for the delay in reply.

First of all I recommend that one should stop labelling yourself ( or others). In this case you saying " I am not a good people manager" is labelling yourself. This way you will start (or have already started) believing that you are not a great people manager. Remember this is a skill and can be developed with practice, consistency and seeking regular feedbacks.

Few navigations you can look at-

Lack of Clear Expectations: If you haven't set clear expectations for your team, they may not know what you need from them. Ensure that roles and responsibilities are well-defined, and everyone understands their individual and collective goals.

Communication Skills: Effective communication is crucial for managing people. Make sure you're communicating your expectations clearly, listening to your team, and providing feedback in a constructive and empathetic manner.

Trust and Rapport: Building trust and rapport with your team is essential. If you tend to work independently and do a lot for others, your team may not see you as approachable or willing to collaborate. Invest time in getting to know your team members, showing interest in their ideas, and supporting their professional growth.

Delegation Skills: If you're doing most of the work yourself, it could be because you haven't delegated effectively. Delegate tasks and responsibilities to team members based on their strengths and capabilities. Trust them to handle their responsibilities independently.

Conflict Resolution: If there are conflicts or issues within your team, address them promptly and constructively. Develop conflict resolution skills and provide a safe space for team members to voice their concerns.

Leadership Style: Reflect on your leadership style. Are you being too controlling or not providing enough guidance? Adapt your leadership style to the needs of your team.

Feedback and Recognition: Provide regular feedback and recognition for your team's efforts. Acknowledging their contributions can boost morale and motivation.

Personal Development: Consider investing in personal development and leadership training. These programs can help you build the necessary skills to be an effective people manager.

Mentoring and Coaching: Seek out a mentor or coach who can provide guidance and support in developing your people management skills.

Self-Care: Ensure you're taking care of your own well-being. Stress and frustration can affect your ability to manage people effectively.


It's important to approach this issue with self-awareness and a willingness to change and improve. Start by having open and honest conversations with your team members to understand their perspectives and concerns. Encourage them to share their thoughts on how you can work together more effectively. This proactive approach can help you identify and address specific issues that may be hindering collaboration and teamwork.

Until then Be You. Be Confident.

To your success
Ashwini Dasgupta
Author of Confidence Decoded. Is it a skill or attitude?

Ans: Direct communication can be a positive step, but it's important to approach the conversation with sensitivity and professionalismApproach the conversation with a calm and neutral tone. Avoid sounding accusatory or confrontational. Express your observations and feelings without blaming the other person. Emphasize the importance of maintaining a professional and collaborative work environment. Reaffirm your commitment to working together productively and professionally. He may not be receptive to such conversations, so be prepared for various outcomes. However, taking the initiative to address the issue demonstrates your commitment to a healthy work environment and can contribute to a more positive atmosphere.