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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Sumeet Question by Sumeet on Mar 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello mam, I have been married since 2011 and have one 9 yrs old child, but after the birth of our child my wife had stopped taking care of her looks. Even though we are of the same age, she looks much more aged than me and less interested in physical relationship. Whenever I start discussing about this with her, she starts arguing and gets upset. We are in our late 30s. Can you please suggest a way out of this please.

Ans: Sumeet,

It sounds like you are facing some serious concerns in your relationship, and I can understand how that might be difficult and frustrating. However, it's important to approach these issues with empathy, sensitivity, and mutual respect.

It's possible that your wife is dealing with her own struggles that are affecting her ability to prioritize her appearance and engage in physical intimacy. It's important to approach these concerns with an open mind and to try to understand her perspective. Rather than focusing on the external appearance of your wife, it might be more helpful to try and understand what is going on internally.

It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your wife about your concerns, but it's equally important to listen to her and respect her feelings. If she is not interested in discussing these issues or feels uncomfortable with the topic, it's important to honor her wishes and give her the space she needs.

If you are feeling disconnected from your wife and are concerned about the lack of physical intimacy in your relationship, it might be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or therapist. They can provide a safe and supportive space for both of you to explore your concerns and work towards solutions that honor both of your needs and boundaries.

Overall, the key to addressing these issues is to approach them with empathy, communication, and mutual respect. With time, patience, and effort, you may be able to find a path forward that strengthens your relationship and honors both of your needs.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 19, 2023

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Relationship
I'm 60 yrs old & my wife is 54 years old. We are married for 33 years now and have 2 grown-up children. My wife was always having less interest towards the physical relationship. She had lost further interest since last 10 years and totally stopped since last 6 years. She sleeps in a sperate room to avoid any physical relationship. She always says we are too old for physical relationship and let is not do any such thing now. I feel an urge to have a physical relationship atleast one a week and because of no relationship, I feel irritated and this is also effecting our general relationship. Unfortunately she is not understanding this. Please suggest what to do???
Ans: Dear Sunjay,
Many of my responses in similar questions like yours have been:
1. Either your wife is in her menopause phase or has menopaused and this can cause lack of interest in sex due to hormonal changes
OR
2. It's a belief system that once you have children, sex if off the table
If it's 1, then there's a lot more empathy that you can show as a husband and possibly explore options with a doctor who can guide the two of you on sex after menopause
If it's 2, then there's a task you are up against where you need to understand where this belief system set inside of her and what it might take for her to break it

So, irritation from you may not solve your problem but only aggravate it, but if you put your mind into finding a solution, you will be interested in finding the source of the problem and eliminate that.

All the best!

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Hello sir, my son's rank in jee mains rank 25156 he got admission in electrical in silchar in josaa round, not in csab 1st round he got mechanical in kurushetra nit and he got admission in bits pillani rajeshthan for manufacturing engineering sir we are confused that whether we have to wait for 2nd and 3rd rounds in csab or he has good prospect in bits ,please guide us for good prospect for my son
Ans: Your son’s admission options include Electrical Engineering at NIT Silchar through JoSAA, Mechanical Engineering at NIT Kurukshetra via CSAB Round 1, and Manufacturing Engineering at BITS Pilani. NIT Silchar’s Electrical branch shows consistent placement rates around 80% with top recruiters like Amazon, offering average packages near Rs 12 LPA. NIT Kurukshetra’s Mechanical branch has an approximate 80% placement rate, with major industrial recruiters and average packages in the Rs 7.5-8.2 LPA range. BITS Pilani, known for its exceptional academic environment and strong industry connections, particularly excels in placements with nearly 90-100% of students placed, offering average packages in the range of Rs 18-20 LPA. Its manufacturing engineering branch benefits from this robust ecosystem despite lack of specific branch-wise data. Considering academic reputation, faculty quality, infrastructure, placement opportunities, and alumni network, BITS Pilani provides the most promising overall prospects. NIT Silchar and NIT Kurukshetra have good regional standing and opportunities but comparatively moderate placement outcomes.

The recommendation is to prioritize admission at BITS Pilani for Manufacturing Engineering due to superior placement outcomes, institutional prestige, and strong industry ties. If BITS is not preferred or feasible, NIT Silchar (Electrical) is a better option than NIT Kurukshetra (Mechanical). Waiting for further CSAB rounds is only advisable if aiming for significantly better branches or colleges aligned with your son’s rank. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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