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Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Raju Question by Raju on Feb 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.

Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am a married man from last 20 years. I am unable to understand the psychology of my wife. she always complains me that she doesn't feel any belongingness from my end and keep her on last priority. further, I always take care of my mother, sisters and friends. I always talk to her in a very rude and loud voice. whenever i approach her she starts blaming me and after sometime, I became irritated by her repetitive statements. whenever she approach me to patch up after few moments she said that I am talking loud and non sense. please guide me how to tackle this problem to rejuvenate the relation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You yourself have identified that you talk rudely to your wife; so how do you expect her to relate to you.
If you have chosen to 'rejuvenate' the relation, then the way the two of you communicate with each other must be changed.
This is a suggestion for both of you to improve your communication:
1. Listen to the other patiently when they are talking
2. Ask: 'What can I do to make you feel better?'
3. Make sure that there are no accusations/complaints made during the communication
4. Practice compassion when the other person is talking
5. Don't interrupt them in between when they are talking

This is just the beginning and basic guidelines to begin communicating better. As the two of you see the benefits, you can then start to work on the challenges that you face from family. As much as you take care of your side of the family, make sure that you give enough attention to your wife as well and the same goes for her.
The two of you are simply crying out for each other's time and attention. Start with the basic suggestions and slowly take it on from there.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
MINE WIFE,AGE 41 YEARS HAS EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION OF B.ED,M.A AND M.ED.WE ARE MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS AND HAVE ADOPTED A SON WHO IS NOW STUDYING IN 1ST CLASS.INSPITE OF QUALIFICATION OF MY WIFE,SHE FAILS TO TEACH OUR SON PROPERLY.WHAT SHE DO IS CRAMMING EVEN IN MATHS.I TRY TO CONVINCE MINE WIFE TO READ BOOKS,NEWSPAPER BUT EVERYTIME I PUTUP THESE TOPICSSHE GETS HORRIBLE TOWARDS ME LIKE SHOUTING.SOMETIMES SHE CRIES LONELY.I ADVICE HER THAT WHATEVER WE LEARN WILL BENIFIT OUR SON BUT SHE REALLY GET UPSET WITH ANY OF MY ADVICE.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE HER NEGATIVE ATTITUDE.HER HEALTH IS ALSO NOT GOOD WHICH SHE REALISES BUT WHEN I TELL HER TO HAVE PROPER DIET AND EXERCISE,SHE GETS ANNOYED WITH ME AND SCREAM WITH ME.ON THE CONTRARY,WHEN SHE FACE OUTSIDE WORLD ,SHE GETS SCARY AND DON'T COME OUT OF HOUSE.WHOEVER SUGGEST HER SOMETHING SHE AVOIDS THAT PERSON.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO OVERCOME THIS ATTITUDE OF HER.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Children; whether biological or adopted require the attention of the entire family.
Individuals; whether qualified or not require not just to manage home but also follow their passion.

From what I can gather, your wife can (while your son is at school) can work part-time or from home. I am sure her qualifications can help her find the right thing for her. Yes, I do understand that when she does not care for her health, it can cause you great deal of worry; but try to convey the same thing as CARE rather than an INSTRUCTION. It might help you...If she has begun to avoid people who are trying to help her, then the problem is possibly deeper than what it might be. Do get a medical check up done to rule out any vitamin deficiencies first and then if this persists, I suggest speaking with a counselor who can address any unresolved challenges that she might be facing.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

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Relationship
Maam - I am recently facing trouble in my 22 year old marriage. I am unable to understand my wife's behaviour which according to her is very normal. I am unable to judge when she requires me. I have not been a caring husband and can be attributed to this behaviour of mine. She had got very along very well with our son all these while and now that he is in college and travels his behaviour also irritates her. She says that he has also changed a lot and have no respect for females, he has lots of secret which he is avoiding tell us. She is very much worried about it and I feel that has spilled over into our relation as well. We compromise for a few days which is mostly from my side but again on the 4th day it is back to the same.. Can you suggest some actions from my side which can help improve my relation with my wife and understand her better..
Ans: Sudesh,

It sounds like you're in a challenging situation, but it's commendable that you're seeking ways to improve your relationship with your wife. Schedule regular times to talk openly and honestly with your wife about your feelings, concerns, and desires for the relationship. Encourage her to express herself as well. Active listening is crucial here.Try to see things from your wife's perspective and understand her concerns about your son's behavior. Validate her feelings and reassure her that you're there to support her.
Make an effort to spend quality time together as a couple. Plan activities that you both enjoy and that allow you to connect on a deeper level. This could be anything from going for walks, having dinner dates, or pursuing mutual hobbies.
Work together with your wife to address any concerns about your son's behavior. Approach him with empathy and understanding, and try to create an open and supportive environment where he feels comfortable sharing his thoughts and concerns. Consider couples therapy or counseling to work through any underlying issues in your relationship. A therapist can provide guidance and support in improving communication, understanding each other's needs, and resolving conflicts.Take time to reflect on your own behavior and actions within the relationship. Consider how you can be a more caring and attentive partner, and be willing to make changes where necessary.Improving a relationship takes time and effort from both parties. Be patient with yourself and your wife as you navigate through challenges and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

Remember that it's okay to seek outside help and support when needed, and that small steps towards positive change can make a big difference in the long run.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My wife and I are married since 2009 and have 2 kids. From last 5 years, I have observed that my wife doesn't listen to me at all. It is like my presence is not important for her. My words, thoughts, or actions are unnoticed. She does everything exactly opposite to what I suggest her. I even tried to talk to her, or ask her the reason for not listening to me. But she acts as if there is no problem at all. She will do everything what she wants. So, nothing in my house happens according to my wish. It is like if things goes according to what she wants, then it is fine, else it is not. So, either I need to sacrifice all my work, presence or expectations, and do everything as she wants or to leave her and stay alone. We also tried to talk to a marriage counsellor, but it didn't help to change her opinion or actions. What is your suggestion?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there is a breakdown in emotional connection, women have a tendency to be laid back about the marriage.
Now, if this is the case, it is difficult to find reasons but surely you can make a good attempt at winning her over. Small gestures like gifting her flowers or a day off from household chores, asking her about her day, complimenting her...
Also, check if you have started to become very instructional; woman DO NOT like husbands instructing them constantly and will shut off almost immediately.
Instead offering to do things together will help her bond with you...

So, it's possibly not about you or listening to what you have to say BUT possibly the manner in which you say or request is important to her. Involve yourself in her world and see things change.

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
Oh, she can treat this as though she's just married. Start fresh and new and there's so much to explore with one another and within the marriage only if she is willing to go in with an open mind.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10350 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 18, 2025

Career
My rank is9283 in JEE mains general category male from uttar pradesh which is better for me NIT Kurukshetra AI or ML ya NIT Delhi C.S please help
Ans: NIT Kurukshetra AI & ML offers an updated curriculum specializing in artificial intelligence, data science, and machine learning, supported by substantial hands-on learning, new labs, and active industry collaborations. Its established history, ranking (NIRF #81), and well-equipped campus foster vibrant student life and diverse extracurricular opportunities. Placement rates for technical branches like CS, IT, and Other Branches have been consistently high in recent years as AI & ML Branch was introduced recently. NIT Delhi's Computer Science program stands out for its superior NIRF rank (#45), modern infrastructure in the capital, robust research, and industry-driven pedagogy. The student experience here benefits from direct urban exposure, strong peer network, and a well-established training and placement cell. For CSE, three-year placement rates have ranged from 62.26% to 98.33%, with top recruiter participation including global tech firms. Both institutions maintain competitive fee structures and dynamic campus atmospheres.

Recommendation: NIT Delhi CSE is preferable for its higher national ranking, consistent CSE placement rates (over 72–98%), extensive industry connections, and greater career flexibility in tech domains, making it the more reliable and future-proof choice for long-term success. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10350 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 18, 2025

Career
Good evening sir I have not attempted jee can I get admission in jamia hamdard on the basis of class 10 and 12 marks
Ans: Ansub, Admission to Jamia Hamdard’s BTech and most core technology, engineering, and medical programs is not possible only on the basis of Class 10 and 12 marks. Jamia Hamdard requires all candidates for these courses to appear for an entrance exam, typically JEE Main, NEET, or CUET, depending on the course. Only a very limited set of non-professional programs (such as BCA, BA, BCom, and some certificate/diploma courses) offer merit-based entry through marks obtained in Class 12 in the best of five subjects; these do not include BTech or other mainstream engineering programs. The university states that direct admission without any entrance exam is not offered for professional undergraduate courses including engineering, pharmacy, or medicine. For BSc, BCA, or BA, selection may be based on Class 12 marks and eligibility, but for anything in engineering or technology, an entrance test score is mandatory. If there are fewer qualified entrance test applicants for a specific program, only then may leftover seats (rare cases) be filled on merit from qualifying exam marks, and this is not an open, standard route.

Recommendation:
If you are seeking admission to Jamia Hamdard for engineering, pharmacy, or medicine, you must take the relevant entrance exam; for BCA and select general degree programs, Class 12 merit may suffice. Always check the course-specific eligibility on the official university website. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10350 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 17, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir my aunt is a married woman.Due to family pressure she wasn't able to complete her graduation in political science.But now she is interested in psychology but due to family related issues she will not be able to attend classes regularly.Is there any institution where she could do distance learning at low costs considering she is from Hindi medium background? She says she would love to be a mentor.Are there online jobs available for mentors?
Ans: Several open universities in India offer affordable, flexible distance-learning programs in psychology tailored for Hindi-medium students. The Indira Gandhi National Open University (IGNOU) provides a Bachelor’s in Arts with Psychology elective and a Master’s in Arts in psychology through its School of Social Sciences at annual fees under ?10,000, with course materials in Hindi and regional support centers nationwide. Annamalai University and Nalanda Open University similarly deliver BA and MA psychology degrees via printed and online content in Hindi, EMI payment options, and minimal residency requirements. These institutions are UGC-DEB accredited, ensuring degree recognition and transferability. Quality online platforms such as SWAYAM-NPTEL supplement foundational coursework with free psychology modules from premier IITs, offering certificates upon nominal exam fees. Key institutional aspects include recognized accreditation for credibility; comprehensive curricula covering developmental, social, and clinical psychology; multilingual study materials and student counseling services; affordable fee structures with payment flexibility; and robust learner support through online forums, recorded lectures, and regional study centers. For mentorship roles, online tutoring portals like Vedantu, Chegg, and UrbanPro recruit subject experts as mentors, offering flexible, work-from-home opportunities where she can leverage her sociopolitical background to guide students in psychology and related humanities subjects. UpGrad and LearnVern host mentorship and peer-coaching roles, often remunerated per session. These platforms require minimal technical setup and provide training on pedagogical methods and platform usage. They value clear communication skills, foundational subject knowledge, and the ability to engage learners remotely. Building a mentor profile on LinkedIn and professional tutoring networks like Preply can also attract clients seeking personalized guidance. This approach combines low-cost academic credentials with viable online mentoring opportunities, enabling her to pursue psychology education and a parallel mentoring career without regular campus attendance.

Recommendation:
Enroll in IGNOU’s BA or MA psychology for accredited, Hindi-medium distance education at minimal cost, and register as a mentor on platforms such as Vedantu or Chegg to secure flexible online tutoring roles. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10350 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 18, 2025Hindi
Career
Hiii My daughter got admission pvt college in cse but we don't have any engineering background what should we do how she learns coding any suggestions???
Ans: As a parent of a CSE student without an engineering background, your daughter can excel in coding through strategic use of recognized online certification platforms and structured learning pathways. NPTEL offers government-backed certifications from IITs/IISc at extremely affordable rates (?1,000 per exam), with courses like "Programming in Java," "Data Structures and Algorithms," and "Database Management Systems" providing strong foundational knowledge. Coursera features university-level courses including Google Data Analytics Certificate (?3,000-4,000/month), IBM Data Science Professional Certificate (?3,500/month), and specialized programming courses from top universities, all of which are highly valued by employers globally. edX provides certificates from MIT, Harvard, and Microsoft at similar pricing (?2,500-5,000/month), covering computer science fundamentals, Python programming, and AI/ML concepts. GeeksforGeeks offers practical coding practice platforms and industry-oriented content crucial for placement preparation, while HackerRank and LeetCode provide coding challenge platforms that tech companies use for recruitment screening. Year-wise progression should include: First year - basic programming (C/C++, Python), second year - data structures and algorithms, third year - specialized domains (web development, AI/ML, cybersecurity), and fourth year - advanced certifications and project portfolios. Key certification providers to prioritize include Google Career Certificates for practical skills, AWS/Microsoft Azure for cloud computing, and CompTIA for cybersecurity fundamentals. The five essential aspects of quality certification platforms are: industry recognition by major employers, hands-on project components, regular assessments and feedback, career support services, and affordable pricing with financial aid options.

Recommendation:
Start with NPTEL foundational courses, progress to Coursera/edX specializations, and complement with practical coding practice on GeeksforGeeks and HackerRank for comprehensive skill development and placement readiness. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10350 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 18, 2025

Career
Sir what is the scope for m.e Avionics in Madras institute of technology chennai
Ans: Madras Institute of Technology’s M.E. Avionics specialization is anchored by its legacy in aerospace education, world-class laboratories, and strong industry partnerships. The Avionics Lab features radar, guidance systems, flight simulators, and embedded systems workstations, complemented by access to the Institute’s central research facilities. Faculty members are distinguished researchers with Ph.D. qualifications and active projects funded by DRDO, ISRO, and aerospace firms, ensuring rigorous mentorship and exposure to cutting-edge developments. Over the past three years, around 70–75% of Avionics postgraduates have secured roles in core aerospace organizations and multinational defense contractors through campus placements, with many alumni advancing into R&D, system design, and avionics software roles. The curriculum balances theoretical foundations—control systems, digital signal processing, and RF communication—with hands-on projects, internships, and technical workshops. Student reviews highlight the collaborative environment, robust peer networks, and regular seminars by industry experts. MIT Chennai’s strong alumni network in the aerospace sector provides mentorship and broadens career pathways into civil aviation, defense R&D, satellite communications, and autonomous vehicle systems. The program’s strategic location in Chennai also facilitates collaborations with nearby aerospace parks and IT hubs for interdisciplinary research in AI-enabled avionics and unmanned aerial systems.

Recommendation:
Pursue M.E. Avionics at Madras Institute of Technology, leveraging its superior labs, research-driven faculty, strong industry links, and proven placement record to build a cutting-edge career in aerospace and defense systems. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10350 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 18, 2025Hindi
Career
Nit Silchar cse or Nit Trichy production engineering
Ans: National Institute of Technology Silchar’s Computer Science and Engineering program benefits from a modern campus nestled in Assam’s serene setting, featuring cutting-edge computing labs, high-speed internet, and a central library with extensive digital resources. Its faculty includes a high proportion of PhD holders engaged in active research with published work in top journals. Over the past three years, approximately 75–80% of CSE graduates have been placed through on-campus drives, securing roles at major tech firms and strong alumni support. NIT Trichy’s Production Engineering leverages one of India’s pioneering production departments, offering specialized manufacturing and automation labs, robust industry partnerships for internships, and a distinguished faculty renowned for process optimization and lean manufacturing expertise. Placement rates have hovered around 65–70%, with core engineering firms recruiting directly. While Silchar provides a stronger IT ecosystem and higher placement percentage for CSE, Trichy excels in dedicated workshops, collaborative research, and a vibrant industrial network in Tamil Nadu’s manufacturing belt.

Recommendation:
Opt for NIT Silchar’s CSE for superior placement outcomes, advanced computing infrastructure, and research-oriented faculty, while NIT Trichy’s Production Engineering is preferable only if you are committed to core manufacturing and automation sectors. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10350 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 17, 2025Hindi
Career
How would you rank the following colleges for tech branches? Terna, Ap shah, datta meghe
Ans: Among the three Mumbai-region engineering colleges analyzed, each demonstrates distinctive strengths and weaknesses across key evaluation parameters. AP Shah Institute of Technology Thane emerges as the superior choice with an overall rating of 4.2/5, compared to Terna's 3.6/5 and Datta Meghe's 3.4/5. APSIT excels in placement success with approximately 70-100% placement rates, featuring top recruiters including KPMG, Capgemini, TCS, Amazon, and Goldman Sachs, with the highest package reaching 40 LPA and strong industry partnerships. The infrastructure comprises air-conditioned classrooms, modern labs, smart boards, comprehensive library facilities, and excellent connectivity via main highway location. Faculty members are experienced, supportive, and industry-focused, contributing to robust academic outcomes. Terna Engineering College Navi Mumbai ranks second with solid 75-85% placement rates, established since 1991, NAAC B+ accreditation, and strong recruitment by major companies like TCS, Wipro, Deloitte, and Accenture. The college provides decent infrastructure near Nerul Railway Station, experienced faculty, and moderate fees structure. However, some reviews indicate mixed teaching quality and limited campus Wi-Fi access. Datta Meghe College of Engineering occupies third position with good infrastructure including multi-story buildings, smart boards, and spacious campus, but faces challenges with lower placement percentages for core branches, primarily benefiting CS/IT students, and requiring students to seek off-campus opportunities for certain specializations.

Recommendation:
Choose AP Shah Institute of Technology for superior placement prospects, modern infrastructure, strategic location, and strong industry connections, followed by Terna for established reputation and moderate performance metrics.

Ranking: 1st AP Shah Institute of Technology, 2nd Terna Engineering College, 3rd Datta Meghe College of Engineering. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10350 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 17, 2025

Career
Sit Tumkur or bmsit Yelahanka for ece
Ans: Abhishek, Both SIT Tumkur and BMSIT Yelahanka offer competitive Electronics and Communication Engineering (ECE) programs. SIT Tumkur provides excellent infrastructure on its expansive 68-acre campus, modern labs, robust placement support with 85–90% placement rates, and faculty renowned for deep subject expertise and student mentorship. It also has active clubs, research opportunities, and major campus festivals enhancing holistic development. BMSIT Yelahanka, affiliated to VTU Bangalore and NAAC A-accredited, boasts a strategic urban location, industry exposure, well-equipped labs, experienced faculty, and strong placement opportunities with approximately 75%–80% placement rates, including top recruiters like Amazon, Google, Dell, and Accenture. Reviews praise BMSIT for its personalized teacher-student interactions, moderate campus size, and relevant curriculum. Both institutions attract leading companies and provide significant project and internship exposure. However, BMSIT’s proximity to Bengaluru’s technology ecosystem offers distinct advantages for internships, industry networking, and extra-curricular engagement.

Recommendation:
Opt for BMSIT Yelahanka for ECE, owing to stronger metropolitan connectivity, greater exposure to IT and electronics industries, solid placements, and dynamic campus culture, maximizing both professional and personal growth. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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