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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Amit Question by Amit on Feb 22, 2023Hindi
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I am 42 year man , my wife expired 2 year ago. i have two daughter one 15 and second 10. I live lonely. Kids live with their maternal uncle. May a marry to girls who is around 25 year and ready to live with my child .

Ans: I am sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. It's understandable that you may feel lonely and desire companionship.

However, when it comes to considering a new marriage, it's important to take into account the well-being and best interests of your children. It's important to ensure that any new relationship does not negatively impact your children's emotional or physical well-being.

Before considering a new marriage, it may be helpful to discuss your intentions with your children and get their input and feelings about the situation. You may also want to consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor to help you navigate this transition.

If you do decide to pursue a new relationship, it's important to take the time to get to know the person and establish a strong foundation of trust and mutual respect before considering marriage. It's also important to be honest with any potential partner about your situation and responsibilities as a parent.

Ultimately, the decision to remarry is a personal one that should be based on your own needs and desires as well as the well-being of your children. It's important to proceed with caution and thoughtfulness, taking into account the needs and feelings of all parties involved.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I AM 43 years old business man my love marriage happened in 2010 against parents I got two kids 11years my wife short tempered i supported financially her 11 years for her carrier spent lot of money even in my busy life now she got job gulf lost ten years she took money but she never allowed my kids to meet me she lives in Kerala my business in Telangana I did my best for her last two year's she not allowed me call my kids i tried Kerala court trails take twos years still no progress now my parents forcing for another marriage I miss my kids if I marry again my kids won't come in my life is my biggest fear i willing wait for there 18 years age so I can meet my kids legally but parents saying after 18 years kids won't change within a day for u past is past u marry another why r your wasting your life my mind not thinking second marriage but pressure on me from parents 10 years waited for kids she left me simple reason I am work addicted n father s lovely kid my parents age 70s she never bothered about my parents but I spent lot money for her family too her intentions are simple if I stop kids I will leave them in old-age but I can't left my parents unable to make decisions due to personal reasons my business also not much improving when I go to out side if I see kids roaming with parents I feel my kids absence money not matters. Iam missing my kids life Indian courts eating my money. Next next next time. Madam this is my life how to overcome this problem
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When it comes to legal matters, it's only what the lawyers say that can help you...
But when it comes to dealing with your mind on all of this, it's hugely possible that you are left feeling hopeless and disappointed. Running around courts can be mentally exhausting and to not be able to meet your children is really sad. If you can take a break from work or work out of Kerala for a short time engaging lawyers in Kerala to fight your case, it is possible that you might be able to meet your children through some legal intervention as well. Waste no time and engage a good lawyer soon and NEVER LOSE HOPE! If you want to see your children and be a part of their lives, this is a clear ASK from your lawyer to fight your case...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

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Relationship
Dear Ma'am Ms Kanchan I am 65 and still working on senior position getting very handsome salary plus perks ,having own pent house at Noida own car and with lavish life but my wife is no more she died last year and i have two adult married children's and well settled in NCR . please advise how can i have good life and what is the procedure i should adopt to get a match lady without children's and stay with me as excellent life partner .
Ans: Ashok Ji,
First, it's important to acknowledge your feelings and needs. Losing a spouse is incredibly difficult, and it's a positive step that you're looking to find companionship again. Your desire for a life partner who can share your lifestyle and provide mutual support is completely understandable.

To start this journey, consider what qualities and values are most important to you in a partner. Reflecting on your past relationship experiences can help you identify what worked well and what you might want to avoid this time around. Understanding your own needs and preferences will guide you in finding someone who is truly compatible with you.

Given your professional standing and lifestyle, you may want to explore avenues where you can meet like-minded individuals. Networking within your social and professional circles can be a good start. Friends and colleagues might know someone who is also seeking companionship.

Online platforms specifically designed for senior dating could also be helpful. These sites allow you to specify your preferences, such as looking for a partner without children, and can connect you with potential matches who share similar interests and values.

Another option is engaging in social activities, clubs, or groups that align with your interests. Whether it's a hobby, a sport, or a community service group, participating in these activities can naturally lead to meeting new people who share your passions.

When you meet someone who seems like a potential match, take the time to build a genuine connection. Open and honest communication is key. Share your thoughts, feelings, and expectations for the future, and encourage your partner to do the same. Building a strong emotional bond and mutual understanding will lay a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.

Lastly, be patient with yourself and the process. Finding the right person can take time, but maintaining a positive outlook and being open to new experiences will make the journey more enjoyable.

If you feel comfortable, seeking guidance from a relationship coach or counselor could also provide personalized support and advice as you navigate this new chapter in your life.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8469 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
hi me ek gov. servant hu meri monthly salary 80000/- hai maine sbi home loan 2500000/- liya (Des-2022 / 18 years) hai monthly emi 230000/-hai wo maine ghar pune mai liya hai usko rent par diya hai 15000/- meri 20 years se job kar raha hu maine gpf mai 40,00,000/- saveing kar li hai jo latest rate of intreast 7.1 % hai jo comunding milta hai mai gpf har saal 300000/- saveing karta hu 6000/- mutual fund main sip hai bachhonki (11Years girls & 5 years Boy ) school fees har saal 100000 hai aur sukanya samrudhi main bhi minimum savng hai muje next ek ghar banawana hai jo maine ek plot liya tha uspar abhi mere pas 1400000 hai jo baki paiso ke liya kya gpf mese paise nkale ya lone lake aur meri saveing sahi hai
Ans: Your planning is disciplined. You are managing loans, savings, and family needs with balance. Let’s go point-by-point and assess your situation professionally from all angles. This will help you take the best decision for building your second house and securing your future.

Current Financial Snapshot
Your monthly salary is Rs. 80,000.

Your EMI is Rs. 23,000 for the home loan taken in Dec 2022.

You earn Rs. 15,000 monthly from renting this house.

You have completed 20 years in government service.

You have saved Rs. 40 lakh in GPF earning 7.1% interest compounded.

You are contributing Rs. 3 lakh every year to GPF.

You have SIP of Rs. 6,000 in mutual funds.

You have two children – one is 11 years and the other is 5 years.

You pay Rs. 1 lakh yearly as school fees.

You contribute to Sukanya Samriddhi at minimum level.

You have Rs. 14 lakh saved to build a house on your plot.

Now the key question is: Should you use GPF for building your house or take a loan?

Let’s assess this from multiple angles.

Home Construction: Options Available
You have 2 choices to complete the home construction:

Withdraw money from GPF

Take a new home construction loan

Each option has benefits and limitations. Let’s compare clearly.

Using GPF for House Construction
Advantages

It is your money, so no interest to pay.

No EMI burden or repayment pressure.

Withdrawal from GPF for house is allowed as per rules.

Emotionally peaceful – you are not increasing debt.

Disadvantages

GPF gives 7.1% compound interest.

Once withdrawn, that compounding stops on that amount.

GPF is your retirement backup.

Reducing it will affect your old age financial safety.

Building a house is one-time, but retirement is a long journey.

Professional Insight

GPF should be your last option, not the first.

Withdraw only if no other option is available.

Taking Home Construction Loan
Advantages

You keep your GPF intact.

You continue to earn 7.1% interest compounded.

You get home loan tax benefits under 80C and Section 24.

Repayment can be structured as per your budget.

Disadvantages

You have to pay EMI regularly.

Loan rate may be 8-9% range, higher than GPF interest.

It adds more debt pressure on you.

Professional Insight

EMI is manageable if you plan carefully.

GPF balance of Rs. 40 lakh gives safety cushion.

So taking loan makes more sense, if EMI is affordable.

Monthly Budget Assessment
Salary: Rs. 80,000

Existing EMI: Rs. 23,000

Rent income: Rs. 15,000

School fee yearly: Rs. 1 lakh

SIP: Rs. 6,000

You are already managing EMI, fees, and SIP with discipline.

If you take another loan of Rs. 10-12 lakh, EMI will be Rs. 8,000 to Rs. 10,000 approx.

This is possible, if rent is used wisely and you avoid big expenses.

Child Education and Future Planning
Your daughter is 11 years. In 7 years, college will start.

Son is 5 years. So you have 13 years before his higher education.

You should increase SIP gradually every year.

Sukanya Samriddhi is good, but minimum saving is not enough.

Start SIPs for both kids’ future goals separately.

Target long term goals like higher education and marriage.

Continue SIP even during home construction.

Retirement Safety Evaluation
GPF is your retirement backbone.

Rs. 40 lakh at 7.1% compounded will double in around 10-11 years.

If you withdraw now, final corpus will reduce sharply.

Avoid disturbing it unless absolutely needed.

Continue Rs. 3 lakh yearly contribution without fail.

Strategy for New House Construction
You already have Rs. 14 lakh saved.

Let’s say construction needs Rs. 25 lakh.

Gap is Rs. 11 lakh approx.

Best strategy:

Use Rs. 14 lakh saved by you.

Take home construction loan of Rs. 10-12 lakh.

Keep GPF untouched.

Keep GPF for future security.

How to Manage Construction Loan EMI
Use rent income to cover part of EMI.

Avoid unnecessary luxury spending.

Cut gold and festival expenses if needed.

Take loan with flexible prepayment option.

When bonus or arrears come, use for loan part-payment.

Investment Rebalancing Tips
Increase SIP from Rs. 6,000 to Rs. 10,000 next year.

Keep mutual fund SIP for both child and your retirement.

Start one new SIP for daughter’s higher education.

Use mutual fund only for long-term goals.

Avoid index funds. They don’t beat inflation after tax.

Active funds adjust to Indian market better.

Emergency Fund Reminder
Keep at least Rs. 1.5 to 2 lakh as emergency fund.

Don’t use this money for house or loan.

Keep it in savings account or short-term liquid fund.

Insurance Planning
Check if you have term life insurance.

Minimum Rs. 50 lakh coverage is needed.

Premium is low for government servants.

Also take health insurance for full family.

School Fee and Lifestyle Cost
Your school fee is Rs. 1 lakh yearly.

It will grow as kids grow.

Plan SIP in liquid funds to prepare yearly school fee.

Final Construction Strategy
Estimate house construction cost with contractor clearly.

Plan in 2-3 stages. Use cash first, then loan.

Keep Rs. 1 lakh buffer for emergency during construction.

Finally
Your savings habits are very good.

GPF is strong pillar. Keep it growing.

Don’t touch GPF now.

Take small loan for second house.

Manage EMI smartly with rent and budget.

Increase SIP yearly for kids and retirement.

Avoid index funds.

Stay consistent.

Review yearly with proper planning.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8469 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2025

Money
Hello Sir I have a question that i have existing home loan of now rs 2900000 and 25 years of time has left rest i have paid , i am investing 1 lac per month in mutual funds and investing in gold as well shall i pay my laon first or keep.investing in mf and gold and keep paying emi plus extra amount in loan my loan roi is 8.80%
Ans: Your approach is sincere and responsible. Managing Rs. 29 lakh home loan while investing Rs. 1 lakh monthly needs clarity. You also invest in gold. Your focus seems on building wealth and becoming debt-free. Let’s assess your current situation from all angles and guide accordingly.

Understanding the Current Scenario
You have a home loan balance of Rs. 29 lakh.

Loan interest rate is 8.80%.

Loan tenure left is 25 years.

You are investing Rs. 1 lakh every month in mutual funds.

You are also buying gold regularly.

You are paying regular EMIs.

You are also thinking to prepay the home loan partially.

This situation is not uncommon. Many in your position face the same decision. Let us now break it down for better understanding.

Loan Repayment vs Investment: Core Conflict
Loan EMI gives guaranteed interest saving.

Mutual funds and gold have market risk. Returns are not fixed.

Loan rate is 8.80%. This is a high cost in long term.

Mutual funds can give 12% in long term. But no guarantee.

Gold can give 6-7% return over long term. Also not guaranteed.

So comparing loan vs MF or gold is not just about return.

Risk, liquidity, and financial goals must be seen together.

Evaluating Home Loan Repayment Strategy
Home loan gives tax benefit on interest under Sec 24(b).

But this benefit reduces over time as interest part reduces.

Long tenure increases total interest paid.

If you prepay loan now, you save high future interest.

Partial prepayment every year brings great interest saving.

Even Rs. 1 lakh prepayment per year can cut 4-5 years from loan term.

So prepayment makes sense if no other high priority goals pending.

Understanding Mutual Fund Investment Potential
You are investing Rs. 1 lakh monthly. That is commendable.

Mutual funds help build long term wealth.

Actively managed funds perform better than passive ones in India.

Index funds don’t beat inflation much after tax.

Active funds adjust to market cycles better.

Your SIP of Rs. 1 lakh may give strong corpus in 15-20 years.

Taxation on MF has changed now. Need to plan redemption smartly.

Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%.

LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Role of Gold in Portfolio
Gold acts as hedge in portfolio.

It protects against currency devaluation and global risk.

But gold alone should not be large part of investment.

It gives 6-7% return in long term.

It is not cash flow generating.

Use gold for diversification only. 10-15% is enough.

Assessing Your Loan Repayment Capacity
If you can spare extra Rs. 20-30K per month, loan prepayment makes sense.

Continue EMI as usual. Add lump sum when possible.

Avoid using your mutual fund SIP for prepayment.

Don’t stop gold purchase fully. Just reduce it if needed.

Balance your cash flow between all goals.

Combining Both: Smart Way Forward
You can do both prepayment and investments side by side.

Continue Rs. 1 lakh monthly in mutual funds.

From bonuses, windfalls, use part for home loan prepayment.

Avoid stopping SIP. It compounds over time.

Increase SIP by 5-10% yearly if income grows.

This way you build wealth and reduce debt slowly.

Tax Impact and Liquidity Planning
Prepaying home loan gives emotional peace.

But MF investments are liquid in emergencies.

Loan prepayment is not reversible.

Once paid, money is locked in property.

Keep emergency fund ready. 6 months expenses is good target.

Your Child and Family Needs
You have a child. Future education will need funds.

Mutual funds can fund child education and marriage.

Prepaying loan is less flexible than investing for child's future.

So don’t rush to be debt free if child goals are underfunded.

Cash Flow Planning for Better Balance
Track your monthly cash flow closely.

Prioritise emergency fund first.

After that, child education fund.

After that, home loan prepayment.

Avoid big gold purchases if loan EMI is tight.

Keep gold for portfolio balance only.

Emotional vs Logical Decision-Making
Loan-free life feels peaceful.

But wealth creation needs patience.

Don’t get swayed by fear of loan.

Instead, make clear plan.

Mix investment with prepayment.

What You Can Practically Do Now
Continue SIP of Rs. 1 lakh.

Build emergency fund equal to 6 months expense.

Invest at least Rs. 5-10K monthly for child education.

Reduce gold purchase to 10-15% of monthly investment.

Once emergency fund is ready, prepay Rs. 1-2 lakh per year in home loan.

Final Insights
Your loan is at 8.80%.

Mutual funds can beat this in long term.

But loan is risk-free return.

Emotional peace matters too.

Balance both wisely.

Stay consistent.

Do yearly review of all investments.

Increase SIP and loan prepayment step-by-step as income grows.

Avoid random investment decisions.

Be goal-based always.

Invest through certified professionals who guide with long-term vision.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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