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Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 12, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi I AM 43 years old business man my love marriage happened in 2010 against parents I got two kids 11years my wife short tempered i supported financially her 11 years for her carrier spent lot of money even in my busy life now she got job gulf lost ten years she took money but she never allowed my kids to meet me she lives in Kerala my business in Telangana I did my best for her last two year's she not allowed me call my kids i tried Kerala court trails take twos years still no progress now my parents forcing for another marriage I miss my kids if I marry again my kids won't come in my life is my biggest fear i willing wait for there 18 years age so I can meet my kids legally but parents saying after 18 years kids won't change within a day for u past is past u marry another why r your wasting your life my mind not thinking second marriage but pressure on me from parents 10 years waited for kids she left me simple reason I am work addicted n father s lovely kid my parents age 70s she never bothered about my parents but I spent lot money for her family too her intentions are simple if I stop kids I will leave them in old-age but I can't left my parents unable to make decisions due to personal reasons my business also not much improving when I go to out side if I see kids roaming with parents I feel my kids absence money not matters. Iam missing my kids life Indian courts eating my money. Next next next time. Madam this is my life how to overcome this problem

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When it comes to legal matters, it's only what the lawyers say that can help you...
But when it comes to dealing with your mind on all of this, it's hugely possible that you are left feeling hopeless and disappointed. Running around courts can be mentally exhausting and to not be able to meet your children is really sad. If you can take a break from work or work out of Kerala for a short time engaging lawyers in Kerala to fight your case, it is possible that you might be able to meet your children through some legal intervention as well. Waste no time and engage a good lawyer soon and NEVER LOSE HOPE! If you want to see your children and be a part of their lives, this is a clear ASK from your lawyer to fight your case...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I m 35 years old woman I married twice but my marriage not success first marriage in religion and second is interfaith marriage which I have two kid one son he is 16 year old and one daughter she is 8 year old I married my second one husband in 2009 he is in relationship with other women he have 1 kids with her then also I accepted because of my of my dad woh is poor and I have no family no house infact I have nobody support I stay with mother in laws in 2016 my daughter was born after that 6 months my inlaws is expired and after that my husband who sold the house my 2 kids and me on road nobody is helping me out he left me with kids. How I manage to register a dv case in 2020 but the case will go on an on in 2022 the order is pass for maintenance which he is not pay single money till know to me after this he is in jail for a month. my kids and I leaving alone on rent house . I am not working because of my health issues I m bagging for my kids to feed both .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is so unfair and I do feel for you...
What I suggest is approach a family member who can support you for a while. During this time, contact a local NGO that helps women facing domestic issues. They will be able to put you in touch with a lawyer who in turn will work out on how the maintenance money can come to you.
So, at this point in time, you need to find someone to guide you with legal matters. Please act quickly; having children with you in this situation is no joke at all.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |442 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 52-year-old man. 6 months back I lost my wife accidentally. I have one son and one daughter. My daughter is in 10th and my son is in 3rd year of engineering. In the absence of my wife, my entire house has been collapsed. Most of our relatives make decisions on my behalf. My kids don't listen to me, especially my son. For them, i am just supposed to take care of their needs and continue till the children get settled. Thereafter i should think about my life. It was a quite selfish decision by my children. My wife was a housewife. I am working very hard to give them a better life. But all my efforts are in vain. At present my mom is with me. She is old and trying to help us out but still, my kids don't like her. I have tried hard to ensure that they do not feel the absence of my wife. Everything has been cared for, but at the end of the day, I am alone. I don't know what will be the future. I want to go for a second marriage but my kids have threatened me that they will leave the house immediately even if I give it a thought. My journey has been quite stressful. I have loans which have to be paid by me. I need a partner with whom I can share my feelings, one who cares for me and takes care of me and my children. But in recent situations i am totally stressed and don't know how to handle it. need advise
Ans: Your children, however, seem to be struggling with their own grief and fears about change, and that’s creating tension between their needs and your desire for a second marriage. It sounds like they are clinging to the memory of their mother, which may be why they are so resistant to the idea of you remarrying. While their emotions are understandable, it’s unfair for them to dismiss your own needs or expect you to ignore your feelings for the sake of their expectations.

To handle this situation, it's important to begin by opening up an honest and compassionate dialogue with your children. They may not realize the extent of your loneliness or how much you're shouldering on your own. In this conversation, avoid focusing on remarrying immediately but instead express how you're feeling emotionally. Let them know that just as you’re doing your best to provide for them, you also need support and companionship. This might help them understand that your desire for a partner doesn’t mean you're replacing their mother, but that you need someone to help you heal and navigate life.

Grief counseling or family therapy could be very helpful here as well. Grief affects everyone differently, and a neutral professional can help you all work through these emotions together. Your son and daughter, especially being at different stages of their lives, might benefit from understanding how each of you is processing the loss differently.

As for the practical side, with your mother's help, you're already doing everything you can to keep things together. It's understandable that you need help beyond the daily chores—emotional and relational support is vital for anyone. Your children, though they are resisting now, may come to understand this over time, especially if the focus is on helping them adjust to their own loss first before you push the idea of marriage too far.

Lastly, do not give up on the thought of a second marriage if that’s what your heart truly wants. Your children may eventually understand, but it will take time and patience. Prioritize your emotional well-being and don’t feel guilty for wanting to find love and companionship again. After all, your happiness matters too, and a loving relationship can positively impact both you and your children once they’ve had time to adjust.

In the meantime, take one step at a time: focus on communication, seek external support like therapy, and make sure you're caring for yourself emotionally, even if it's hard right now.

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Sir/madam My son is an MBA and wants to establish a cafe. Kindly guide. Regards
Ans: It's great to hear that your son is planning to open a cafe. With his MBA knowledge and entrepreneurial spirit, he has a strong foundation to build a successful venture. Here are some steps to guide him.

First,
He must decide on a unique concept for the cafe that will set it apart from others. Whether it is a cozy space for book lovers, a health-focused menu, or a modern cafe with a tech-friendly vibe, having a clear vision will attract the right customers. Additionally, researching the market to understand customer preferences, competition, and pricing trends is important to create a viable business plan.

Encourage him to prepare a detailed business plan that includes his vision, projected budget, marketing strategy, and operational plans. Choosing the right location with good visibility and foot traffic will be crucial to the cafe's success. He will also need to obtain the necessary licenses and permits, such as food safety approval and business registration, to operate legally.

Next,
Focus should be on creating a strong brand identity with a memorable name, logo, and interior design. Offering high-quality ingredients and a menu with a mix of unique and popular items will help build a loyal customer base. Excellent customer service and a welcoming atmosphere will further enhance the visitor experience.

And the last,
He should leverage MBA skills to manage finances effectively and use digital marketing and social media to promote the cafe. With proper planning and dedication, cafe can become a thriving business.

Wishing her all the best in this exciting journey!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
We had been Dating since our College days & had a Love Marriage almost 2 Decades ago. My Wife had always been the Dominant one in the Relationship, while I had always been Soft-spoken. She is also much more Capable than me, in terms of Academic as well as Professional Competence, and also very Ambitious. These are some of the Qualities which I always admired in her. Over the years of our Marriage, I had to Compromise on my own Professional Growth, in order to support her Professional Growth. She has a Transferable Job, so I have taken up a Work-from-Home Job which pays much lesser, but allows more flexibility in timings, just to support her Professional Growth, I had given up much better opportunities. I have been literally living like a Stay-at-Home Husband, doing almost all the Household chores & also taking care of both our Children. I have no complaints about any of this, I am doing all this, just because I Love my Wife. My Wife too Loves me a lot, but doesn't seem to Respect me. She feels ashamed to introduce me to her Colleagues in her Office Parties. She often puts me down, in the presence of her Friends & Relatives. She asks others (her Friends, Colleagues & Relatives) for advice, even in matters relating to our Personal Life & gives more importance to their Opinions, compared to mine & has taken several big Decisions, without my Consent/Agreement. She doesn't bother telling me anything about her whereabouts & her Finances. While at Home, she Orders me around like a Boss & talks to me in a Condescending manner. Seeing her attitude, even our Servant Maid, Driver, Watchman & our Teenaged Children also don't treat me with due Respect. Our Neighbours, laugh at me behind my back. I have been Tolerating all this since many Years only because I Love my Wife so much. Many times, I tried to convey my concerns to her but she used to invalidate my feelings, labelling them as my 'Insecurity' or 'Male Ego' even though I never had either of those. She seems to have more time for her Partying with her Colleagues & Friends, rather than having a Productive Discussion with me about my Feelings. Now I am feeling Saturated. I need to do something to Earn Respect from my Wife, Children & the Society as I have realised that my Wife is not up for anything like Couples Counseling & I wouldn't be able to discuss my Feelings with anyone else (almost everyone I know, Respects her more than me). Please give me some Suggestions as to what can I do to become more Respectable in the Eyes of my Wife, Children & our Social Circle?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's heart warming to know that you eased into a role that usually can be not a very 'manly' thing to do. But I guess somewhere your wife has begun to enjoy her dominant status; let me tell you...that part is not easy on a man...
You just adapted to it and slowly, it has begun to erode your self-esteem...
Assume the role that will bring back your self-worth; this will mean actually a career, bringing money home, taking care of your responsibilities as a husband and father. This will also mean a step back from what you are doing at home now...
Your wife may not want the extra chores that you had to drop off and there's bound to be some skirmishes; but better to take all this head on rather than skirt around the issue.
Slowly and steadily inch towards a space where the two of you are equal partners without anyone dominating the other.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Recently, we had an Arranged Marriage. Before committing for the Marriage, we had a few Months of Courtship Period & got to understand each other well. He seemed to be a very Loving & Caring Person. Once, He asked me whether I was Virgin, I lied saying that I was, because I didn't want to lose such a Wonderful Guy. On our Wedding Night, he got Suspicious as I didn't bleed. Upon further Interrogation, I broke down & confessed the Truth that I had been Sexually Active in my previous Relationships, before getting Married to him. He got Disappointed as he felt Cheated & Betrayed. Since then, he's been sleeping in a seperate Room & not even talking to me properly, there's no Romance between us, at all. He'd also cancelled our Honeymoon Trip to Bali. He comes Home late, often having eaten out, doesn't ask me anything about my Day or even Care about me at all. He's become quite opposite of what he was, during our Courtship Period. Many times, I've tried to break the Ice & build some Chemistry between us, but he told me that he lost all Feelings for me, and he wouldn't even Care if I left him & his House for Good. He was Ready to give me a Divorce, if I wanted to Leave him. But I don't want to throw away this Marriage, I want to try & make it work, but there's no Cooperation at all from his side. He blatantly refused to go for Marriage Counseling with me. In the presence of other Family Members, he tries to act like a normal Husband, just to maintain his image in the Society. But when we both are alone at Home, he acts as if I don't even exist. Now I am getting frustrated, I don't understand what to do? I don't regret all that I did in my Past, I had the Right to Enjoy my Life, when I was Young & Unmarried & I don't owe any Explanation to anyone, about my Past. Now I feel I am being treated too Coldly just for a little White Lie. Did I really do something so Wrong that I don't even deserve to be Loved by the Person, I Married? If it leads to a Divorce, we both have got a lot to lose out on, hence I am trying to avoid the extreme Decision. But I don't have any idea as to how our Marriage can be Repaired & Rejuvenated, when my Husband is not at all interested in the Marriage? Please advise me what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you understand him, your virginity meant a lot to him...that was one of his core beliefs that one preserves their virginity until marriage. Now, he feels cheated as what he believes in has gone against him. It seems very old-fashioned to want the bride to 'bleed' on the first night and conclude that she isn't pure...I get your point, but that are his values...
Can he change and actually look at things differently and save the marriage? YES only if he wants to...he has to commit to it...

For you, the fear of losing him made you hide the fact. Who's right and who isn't? Neither! It's all a matter of the way you look at it; each one will hold their impressions as the truth. So, he's holding onto what he feels is his truth and unwilling to budge and make the marriage work. What can you do? Perhaps apologize for hurting him; he is hurt and angry, isn't it?

It may seem trivial and foolish to you that he gives this so much importance in this day and age. You can't shake people off their beliefs. Anything that you hide eventually comes to bite you; so act wisely...
- talk to him about how you feel about him and the marriage
- tell him what he means to you and why you hid the facts that was most important to him
- lastly apologize to him from your heart

All this may seem 'going over the top' BUT hey, you wish to make the marriage work, right? At times, going that extreme bit can bring back things...So, if there's a 'Feminist' side of you that seems to disagree, keep that at bay for a while and ask: Do I want the marriage?
If YES, then do what it takes...

All the best!
Dear Likitha,
Please download the whatsapp chats and try and get the recording of the phone calls. When your husband denies and says she is just a friend, these things that you collect will be the only proof to actually prove what you are saying. I know this is hard to do but what other way do you have? He does not want to admit what he is doing...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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