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Love Guru |204 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more

Question by Anonymous on Oct 03, 2022Hindi

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Relationship

Dear Love Guru
In our friend group we have Yadav, Rina, Shashank, Kavita, Bhaswati, Deb and me. Yadav has been dating Rina for at least 3 years. Deb and me just discovered that Rina is also having regular rendezvous with Shashank and is two timing Yadav. Both Shashank and Yadav are equally good friends of ours. What should we do?

Ans:

Sounds like a plot line from The Bold And The Beautiful!

Deb and you are in a bit of a fix, I can see that... you're wondering if you should play along in a situation that you know will hurt one friend or rat out another?

The safest bet for you is to speak to Shashank and Rina. Let them know you're onto them and what they're doing is unethical.

Rina needs to pick who she wants to be with and Yadav deserves to know the truth. And a faithful girlfriend! But let them be the ones to tell him.

Once they find out that you both are aware, they probably will come clean for fear of someone spilling the beans.

In any case, I don't see Yadav and Shashank remaining friends after this; cheating on your bestie is an absolute no-no.

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Hi Shalini ji i am married since 2007 last 18 years my life was going very we'll and we both have good understanding and we both taking care of our family having two kids very well last year i come to know that before marriage my wife were having one male friend this male friends usually meet my wife at that time and gossips and even he taken her to visit on some locations 4 to 5 times as per my wife this friend was taken her to his room also 4 time but as they were good friends only so they just gossiping there as well as per my wife she had no any feeling with that guy but in between one day he asked her that he want to marry her , as per my wife he was telling him that he has been broken by his old girl friend and now since my wife listening him very carefully he started liking her , my wife still meeting him in between and go for outing at that time one day he asked to visit her home for marriage than my wife reject his proposal, after that this man gone out of station and than not met her, as per my wife telling me that i have not liked him and not having any feeling at that time and she telling that my 1st love is my husband only i am not able to decide anything now and not able to sleep properly not able to focus on me my health and my work i am vey shocked that the girl i love how she met with other man in past why she gone for outdoor and his room in past i am vey upset from last one year now and nkt able to find any Solution what to do now how to live life ahead pl guide me

Ans: Whilst I comment on dating and how to find your person, I will like to comment on this

1. basis of what you have shared you are overthinking and ruining what you have had since 18 years. your wife decided to stay with you and invest in the relationship with you is the fact that she cares for you and the relationship so stop being upset, be kind to yourself, her and the relationship.

on another note

2. marriage should not stop us from having close friends from the opposite gender.

3. if you are married, it means you are an adult which means if two adults consent to adultery its their responsibility to accept it. say if you are attracted to a woman and go all the way its not the woman who has lured you, both are in their senses and know what they are doing.

4. yes even after marrying or being in a committed relationship you can and will find others attractive and you will be found attractive to others. Its upto you and only you on how you wish to act if such a situation arises. As I shared you are an adult and someone who can not think but also overthink so you decide how to act in such a situation.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2024

Question by Yukti - Jul 30, 2024Hindi

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Hii I am 34 years women .I have a relationship with another person he is 39 years old .we meet and we fell in love together coz we both r not happy in our marital life .and we both are in love actually now we are not in relationship with her wife and my husband but I think he is cheating me he have also a relation with her wife .I ask him clearly many times but he dny every time .plz guide me what I will do

Ans: Dear Yukti,

If you are having some doubt, chances are there have been signs that made you think so. The best case scenario is to ask him again and if his explanations don't align, please reconsider this relationship. You are not obligated to stay with a man who is making you paranoid.

I am sorry I cannot be of much help because I am not clear on the dynamics of your relationship. Are you separated, are you divorced, do your partners know about your relationships, everything matters.

Best Wishes.

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