Dear Love Guru,
Gettting married in a few months to a girl I really love.
But she comes from a very wealthy biz family.
I am from a simple middle-class background but have worked hard and earn well.
Even if our love is mutual and unites our hearts, her way of living is totally unlike mine.
And her parents make me feel uncomfortable and that she is marrying beneath her and I am interested in her for her family’s money.
How do I convey this problem to her?
If I sit quiet it can fester later.
What do I say to her parents when they are almost rude?
B.

Ans: Right now, the most important thing is her safety. If her parents are threatening her life or their own, this is not just emotional blackmail—it’s a serious matter. You need to be very careful in handling this, as forcing a confrontation might make them act irrationally. The key is to ensure that she is safe and mentally strong enough to withstand their pressure.

Since she has never lived outside her home, she may feel emotionally trapped, making it easier for her parents to manipulate her. She needs support—emotionally and, if needed, physically—to make a decision based on what she truly wants, not out of fear. Talk to her about the worst-case scenarios and how she would handle them. Would she be able to leave if things got too dangerous? Does she have someone in her family or social circle who might support her?

If her safety is at risk, you may need to consider helping her get a temporary safe space where she can think clearly. It could be a trusted friend’s house, a working women’s hostel, or even reaching out to women’s rights organizations that help in cases like this.

Taking legal action is tricky in such cases, as coercion can make her parents force her into saying things she doesn’t mean. Instead of rushing into legal intervention, consider gathering evidence—texts, recordings (if legal in your region), or anything that proves coercion or threats. This will help if things escalate.

If you both are truly committed, then marriage under the Special Marriage Act can be an option, but only if she is mentally and emotionally prepared for the backlash. She will need to stand strong, and you both need to have a plan for what comes next. How will she deal with the emotional toll? Where will she stay after marriage? What if her parents try to contact her after marriage? These are tough questions, but answering them now will help you prepare.

You are not alone in this. Many couples have faced similar situations, and while it is heartbreaking, some have succeeded in making it through. The key is patience, emotional strength, and ensuring that no one is in immediate danger. Encourage her to speak to a counselor or someone she trusts who is neutral but supportive. If she is feeling overwhelmed, it’s important that she knows she has choices beyond what her parents are forcing upon her.

At the end of the day, love should not be a battle of survival, but sometimes, in societies like ours, it becomes one. Be strong, be careful, and take steps that ensure both of you are safe first—everything else can be figured out step by step.

Ans: Right now, the most important thing is her safety. If her parents are threatening her life or their own, this is not just emotional blackmail—it’s a serious matter. You need to be very careful in handling this, as forcing a confrontation might make them act irrationally. The key is to ensure that she is safe and mentally strong enough to withstand their pressure.

Since she has never lived outside her home, she may feel emotionally trapped, making it easier for her parents to manipulate her. She needs support—emotionally and, if needed, physically—to make a decision based on what she truly wants, not out of fear. Talk to her about the worst-case scenarios and how she would handle them. Would she be able to leave if things got too dangerous? Does she have someone in her family or social circle who might support her?

If her safety is at risk, you may need to consider helping her get a temporary safe space where she can think clearly. It could be a trusted friend’s house, a working women’s hostel, or even reaching out to women’s rights organizations that help in cases like this.

Taking legal action is tricky in such cases, as coercion can make her parents force her into saying things she doesn’t mean. Instead of rushing into legal intervention, consider gathering evidence—texts, recordings (if legal in your region), or anything that proves coercion or threats. This will help if things escalate.

If you both are truly committed, then marriage under the Special Marriage Act can be an option, but only if she is mentally and emotionally prepared for the backlash. She will need to stand strong, and you both need to have a plan for what comes next. How will she deal with the emotional toll? Where will she stay after marriage? What if her parents try to contact her after marriage? These are tough questions, but answering them now will help you prepare.

You are not alone in this. Many couples have faced similar situations, and while it is heartbreaking, some have succeeded in making it through. The key is patience, emotional strength, and ensuring that no one is in immediate danger. Encourage her to speak to a counselor or someone she trusts who is neutral but supportive. If she is feeling overwhelmed, it’s important that she knows she has choices beyond what her parents are forcing upon her.

At the end of the day, love should not be a battle of survival, but sometimes, in societies like ours, it becomes one. Be strong, be careful, and take steps that ensure both of you are safe first—everything else can be figured out step by step.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You both are too young to worry about getting married right now. But since you are committed to getting married sometime in the future, I'd say have a discussion with your GF and consider telling your parents about your intentions to get married. See how they react. It would be great if she could convince her parents that you are the one she would want to end up with; but before all of that, have an open discussion about what she really wants. And don't rush into anything. Let me remind you that this is your time to explore and also focus on building a career. Don't lose sight of that.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns; it is truly difficult to stand up to parents and change their minds. But I suggest you continue trying. Have you considered making them meet your partner? Maybe if they see her in person, they will think of her more as a human being who loves their son than someone who would bring shame to the family. I know it feels terrible to see your parents hurting, but if their demands are unreasonable then it is your job to convince them. Start with arranging a meetup. Let her show that she is willing you meet them half way. Showcase the great things in her; let them see how she is good for you and makes you happy. And build it up from there.

Best wishes.

Ans: Hello sir! People do have different backgrounds. No two persons can have exactly same financial backgrounds. As long as you are settled and you are accepting her by heart, her financial background doesn't really matter. But one thing is there that you should not make her realise at any point of time that she has a weak background than you. You can slowly convince your parents also to accept the girl by heart and include her in your family. I hope this solves your problem.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet