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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Guru Question by Guru on Apr 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

After working in USA for 8!yrs,purchased villa,car there,greencard cleared 2nd stage,I came to India in 2008 to get married and go back to USA. I was working in trivandrum as a IT professional and company which had partnership with company in USA, gave me time to get married and afterwards had plans to send me to USA , transfer to my parent company and process my greencard for 3rd stage. Through a marriage broker from my native place davanagere, I was married to a woman from gulbarga.her health was not good from day one and her parents going thru divorce. Her father instead of giving divorce to her mother,locked her in a compound in gulbarga with dogs and did not allow her to go out of compound for years and she passed away in 2013.even though a daughter born to my wife,me, daughter has heart surgery in 2011 and doctors suggested a surgery for wife. After wife's mother passed away in 2013,her father kidnapped my daughter,wife and did not allow them to come back and also had a ex parte divorce filed from my wife. I have been receiving news that my daughter was attacked in gulbarga compound in 2020 and passed away.but it could not be confirmed. My 35+ visits to gulbarga did not yield a visitation to my daughter. My lawyers in Bangalore, gulbarga suggested me to find a new woman and get married since 2020. Even though while I worked in Honeywell since 2016, I found a good woman, relationship could not be pursued. However since 06/2018,I am free to pursue a woman and get into relationship/marriage. I am staying alone since 6+ yrs in Bangalore,I have no wife/girlfriend living with me. I also do not have any kids living with me. It will take some time to find a woman and get married (my father,uncle passed away in last 3 yrs and my mother is in late 70s and no one helping me to get married). 2 weeks back I was invited to attend a jewellery shop inauguration at Kadapa AP which was attended by Telugu actress Sreeleela. She also performed a dance which I am very impressed. I saw her several videos and daily watch her many songs.She is in the right age, very rich and if she gets into relationship with me,it will solve all my problems and I will also support her in her career ie acting plus doctors job and it will be a win-win scenario. I do not have her direct contact info nor there is a coordinator who will coordinate between us.pleqse advise further on how to proceed further

Ans: Dear Guru,
I am truly sorry to hear of the hardships that you have faced.
Instead of living in a dream world, why not instead focus on going the usual route of finding someone who is like-minded and shares the same value systems as you?
And what is this statement that if you marry this actress, all your problems will be solved? Does she want to solve your problems or do you think she is waiting to marry you and solve your problems? Please step out of this dream world, get real!

I suggest that you rebuild your life sensibly and eventually if the right person also is interested in you (if she's a celebrity, then Congratulations), then move on with life by chalking out the path realistically. The person you look for must also align with your life's goals and your values...focus on this...

And sorry if this is going to sound rude to you: This platform is not for people to request Gurus to find out numbers of celebrities or their managers BUT for people to reach out to Gurus who can guide them with their life's challenges.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 44 years old man and I have unsuccessful married life as my wife didn't like be in the relationship with me within 7 months of our marriage. We married in the year 2013 and she annulled me in the year 2014. She is hyper sentimental and egoistic. She only loves money and her parents. We had exchanged some words (just like it happens in every married life). I tried to make her understand that if she don't get a job I will support her so that she can get a job. But she didn't pay attention to my request. She filed Mat suite for divorce with false allegations and I have filed a restitution of conjugal right case . She lost her divorce case and I won the RCR case. But despite magistrate order and my request she didn't turn up and filed 498A, DV Act and 125 CrPC tagging most my relatives with false evidences two years back. I fought all cases and during this time I lost my father. However again she lost DV case and Supreme Court ordered lower court to discharge everyone if they do not found us guilty as we have sufficient proof. Her lawyer started taking tricks by requesting for short span for each hearing date. As my mother's health is not well and I leave in South India, it was difficult for me to attend every hearing date. So, I decided to give up and signed the divorce petition on mutual consent. I tried my best to bring her back, but I failed. Everyone is asking to start the life in new way, but I am really shocked and in trauma of the mental torture and harassment. I am thinking that is it good start the life again in this age ? Will the new life partner take similar steps to harass me again ? Please advice.
Ans: Dear Sanju,
I can only imagine the unrest that you must be feeling right now.
Regarding your question on mental torture and harassment; I do understand how unnerving it must be for you to wake up every morning and stare at the harsh reality of what it is for you. Nevertheless, beaten down but not yet given up is something you must always remember.
It is natural to think that history repeats itself; but you cannot assume that the next person you meet will be the same. Do not enter into a relationship or marriage with this assumption; what might tend to happen is that you will hold yourself back and your partner will always feel that you are being distant from them.

Do understand that the context of marriage is the same, but the persons in question are different. It's like saying: I failed in Math, so Math is a bad subject and I will always fail! Get a hang of what I am referring to?

Take some time off to heal and be at peace and remind yourself that you deserve happiness and marriage form of a beautiful relationship that can make you happy. For now, tell 'everyone' who is asking you to start a new life to give you space to reflect on:
- What can I do different in the next relationship that I pursue?
- What more can I do for my partner that I didn't in the previous marriage?
- What are a few core values of mine that I want to see in my partner as well?

And no use starting a new life by thinking if your new life partner will harass you as well. Instead step in telling yourself: New relationship, new person, new thoughts, new life goals, new...The word NEW, should give your brain something NEW to chew on discarding the old.

All the best!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10881 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello,I am 72 years old ex psu mechanical engineer,married and have two sons,both married and elder one has two daughters ,younger one has one daughter,elder one is in USA married to vietnamy girl and younger is in India married to relatives girl. My job was without pension but self contributory megrere pension I get.i invested in shares and get some dividend so life can go as lower middle class. I own a small cultivable land in village from my residence,I own a plot in other places which has legal problems Now elder daughter in law wants her daughters to have vietnamy culture so my son made green card for us but I am not comfortable as I become dependent there and I have medical facility in India. Younger daughter in law is not adjustable but does not want to move away from our residence So life has become hell,wife stays in USA separately from son though he bears all expenses,I am in my residence but not healthy situation.younger one is not earning as his earning and out go far job is same and does not want understand Can suggest me way out
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your family situation. Here are some suggestions that may help:

Communication: Open and honest communication is essential in resolving family conflicts. Encourage all family members to express their feelings and concerns openly, and work together to find mutually acceptable solutions.

Family Counseling: Consider seeking the help of a family counselor or therapist who can facilitate discussions and provide guidance on how to improve communication and resolve conflicts effectively.

Support Networks: Lean on friends, relatives, or support groups who may offer guidance and understanding during difficult times. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others who have been through similar situations can provide valuable support.

Healthcare: Ensure you prioritize your health and well-being. Seek medical attention for any health issues you may be experiencing and maintain a healthy lifestyle through proper diet, exercise, and relaxation techniques.

Legal Advice: Consult with a legal advisor to address any legal issues related to property ownership or other matters. They can provide guidance on how to resolve legal disputes and protect your interests.

Personal Independence: Consider what options are best for your own happiness and well-being. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of relocating to the USA or becoming dependent on others, express your concerns to your family and explore alternative solutions that allow you to maintain your independence and quality of life.

Family Compromise: Encourage your family members to find compromises that consider the needs and desires of everyone involved. Work towards finding solutions that prioritize mutual respect, understanding, and harmony within the family.

Ultimately, finding a way out of difficult family situations requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to work together towards solutions that benefit everyone involved. Consider seeking professional help or guidance to navigate through these challenges effectively.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Mam, I got married in 2020. I have tried to find a job for her in Bangalore.Even she told that i can't eat in your salary if I earn i do not need to do what you are asking. I just asked her that we are family why you are thinking like this.4 to 5 times same problem fight happened. Whatever I tell she has taken in negative way.After a year we got separated. Even if I explain things she doesn't understand. I have dropped her in hometown in her home. Explained things to their parents that this what happened. Asked her parents that let me know what is her decision to live with me or not.After 6 months got a call from her. she did not come out with that mentality and wanted divorce. After a month I have accepted for mutual divorce. Her parents also told that mutual divorce. when called for a meeting in common place for mutual divorce they did not reply. They have filed Domestic violence act by putting false allegations in petition. Case is going on for more than 2 year. when one my relative went to talk. she itself asked pay 25 lakh as one time settlement then only they will withdraw the DVC petition and accept mutual divorce. Now.To the head person of my caste group their parents told that she is willing to live with me Despite taking care of her properly..they filed false allegations on me and family members also. i have decided for mutual divorce when she asked. I don't have 25 lakh.I have told them that I can give them only 7 lakhs then we can mutually get divorce. No answer from them. I have decided not live with her anymore. Pls tell your opinion abt this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your decision must be right as the real reason for her moving away from the marriage is still unknown or you have missed out on sharing the whole picture.
Also, what is the reason for the Domestic Violence petition? Has there been a reason for her to feel that she needed to put a case on you? But if you know that there is no scope for reconciliation, then I am sure you know what is the best thing to do...
(Due to inadequate information from you, I can provide only generic suggestions). But, there's one thing which is: There seems to have been no understanding between you and your wife when she suggested that it's your salary; there is certainly something which made her unable to come close within the marriage and accept is as a mutual partnership rather than just an isolated relationship.

On the legal aspect, kindly follow what your lawyer advises you to do...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 08, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am a 39 year old IT professional and need advice about my difficult life and relationships. At 25 I was forced into a marriage arranged by my parents with a powerful family even though I knew the girl had multiple affairs. The marriage lasted less than 10 days. When I refused to take her back I was falsely arrested and spent 14 days in jail. After a long legal battle I divorced her in 2015 but had to pay a large sum from my fathers savings. During this time I had a physical relationship with a woman I never loved or promised commitment to. Later I found out she was a widow and became pregnant. Since 2013 I have been supporting her and her child financially because she threatened me with false accusations. She moved on in 2017. At the end of 2017 I started dating a younger woman who was my first wifes cousin. She knew about my past pain but not about the child. We agreed to marry but her parents opposed it due to pressure from my first in laws. We married via registered marriage but my first in laws filed a case against us and humiliated my parents. Our marriage had many problems fights no intimacy and constant tension over my support for the other woman. She said she felt naive marrying me and that leaving me was like ending a bad phase. For seven years I focused on her but she now uses harsh words and emotionally moved on. Meanwhile the woman I support is seriously ill. In 2024 we moved to the US but after a month my wife became aggressive and left me. I lost my house and car there and returned to India. We live in the same house now but she is pursuing divorce dating someone else using my resources and causing me great pain. I feel empty and broken despite therapy and spiritual efforts. She said I am mentally unstable and cursed never to find love again. Deep inside I know my intentions were pure and I am full of love. My questions are 1 Will I find true love again as a middle class man over 39 in India 2 How do I heal deep emotional wounds and stop being triggered by my past 3 How can I rebuild self worth and attract a genuine partner 4 How do I cope living under the same roof with someone who emotionally left me 5 How can I find peace and rebuild my life after so much trauma Please advise thank you
Ans: Yes, you can find love again, even at 39, but first you need to heal the wounds of your past. Begin by shifting focus inward—therapy, journaling, and self-care routines can help you process hurt and rebuild confidence. Living under the same roof with your wife will remain painful, so create emotional distance and stop looking to her for validation.
Your self-worth will grow when you reclaim your independence—through work, friendships, hobbies, and building a life that feels meaningful for you. Peace will come not by erasing the past but by learning to carry it without letting it define your future. Love will follow naturally once you stand strong in yourself.

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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