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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |450 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 22, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

i’m 18 and live in the states and basically my parents have known i have a boyfriend for a while now thru their own snooping and my mom has even told me once or twice that she knows about him but today I was trying to go out this morning to a outting with two friends and him and they asked who is coming and if he is coming and then my dad got really angry and started saying things like “you want me to get you married now” and that we were acting like husband and wife because he saw that i have a picture of us in my wallet also for some context he is chinese but he’s the topper of my grade of 500+ students incredibly smart and just perfect guy all around. i don’t want to break up with him, what should i do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that maintaining a relationship when parents disapprove can be very tricky. But you must also understand that their worries come from love for you; you might be an adult but you are still their child. Having said that, let's see some practical ways to deal with this-
- Understanding what's worrying them can help you give them a solution that might work in your favor. Their concerns can stem from cultural expectations. They might be concerned about your safety. Figuring out their concern will help you better navigate the situation.
- Communicate your feelings. Don't get mad when they express their opinions. It won't help your case. Find the right time to discuss this with your parents. And make them feel heard. Their concerns can give you a new perspective too.
- Highlight your partner's positive traits like his academic achievements. And focus on your studies too. If your parents see that he is a positive influence on you, they might reconsider their stand.
- When the time is right, introduce him to your parents. Seeing him in person will humanize him.
- Strike a balance. Your relationship should not interfere with your relationship with your parents or hamper your studies.

Most importantly, be patient. These things take time. You are too young to be so bothered.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
hii im 18 yrs old ..my parents found out about my bf.. actually they have caught me 5 to 6 times and always told me to leave him.. and i used to leave him but after sometime we again get reunited .. my parents have snatched my phone and telling me whether to choose them or my bf.. they are telling me to live in their house according to them otherwise i should leave their house.. i love both of them so much i got my bf after lot of struggles and fights .. i dont know what should i do..my bf is also from another religion and now my parents are telling me that they will not let me study further and will take me to my hometown forever and will get me married their with someone else
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 18 when you are still emotionally immature and financially not yet stable, what else do you expect your parents to do?
They are doing what they think is the right thing for you to keep you safe. My suggestion would be to focus on what must matter to you most at this age; your studies...put down your goals and stick to them...
As cruel as it may seem to you that the whole world is against your association with the boy, remember that you have a life ahead of you that will give you the necessary space for such a relationship...so work towards yourself first, so that when you actually get into a relationship, you know that it is right for you!
Right now, you know that your parents may very well pull you out from studies and there goes your dreams of a better future...So, please stop being foolish and step up for yourself and do what's right for you!

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |450 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir, I have been in relationship for 4 years, once my cousin elder caught me with my bf and told my parent. I told my parents that I wanted to get marry with him. But they denied. Due to my brother listening. Now it's been 4 years from that period. My bf is asking me for marriage. I wanted to convience my parents. But I m not able to tell them. And my Bf is less educated and I am employed graduate person. He works as a driver,but loves me a core. What shall I do to convience my parent. As Im of 25 years old and he is one year elder then me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are in a challenging situation. If you want to convince your parents, the first thing is to acknowledge their concerns. It is normal for parents to be worried about their child's future. You mentioned your partner is comparatively less educated than you and works as a driver; while every profession is equally important and as long as he is honest and hardworking and puts food on the table, he is doing well, parents can find the financial situation a little concerning. Instead of avoiding or being defensive about these concerns, address them. Let them know how you plan on tackling these differences in your relationship. Emphasize his character, personality, and all the qualities that drew you to him. Tell them how you have been in a stable relationship for 4 years, despite all the odds. In today's day and age, that is a huge thing. Convincing them would also require you to show that you are mature enough to make this decision so have the discussion once you and your partner have a solid plan and have the nitty-gritty all sorted.

Be practical and do not expect them to be onboard immediately. They have your best interest at heart and you know that your situation isn't ideal. Give them time to come around. It might take some compromises as well.

In the end, I would also urge you to think this through before introducing the relationship to your parents. Marriage is a big decision. Ultimately, it's your happiness and life at stake. Don't rush.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |450 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, my wife is Ugandan and I’m of English national, 30 years old and she’s 26, we met nearly a year ago and got married in uk with some of her friends and small family. We haven’t done kuchala (not sure if that’s correct spelling) yet and I’m feeling anxious for when the time comes. She said her family will kneel when they greet me and being white this is already stinging my moral (due to history). I also talked about moving in together before the meet the parents happen however she says she’s rather move in after? Currently this could take two years before going to Uganda, how should I proceed without overstepping her cultural beliefs as after all we are married and by my culture we should already be living together
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very nice of you to be so considerate and sensitive while handling these cultural nuances. Let's discuss the kneeling tradition. It's a sign of respect and it's deeply rooted in Ugandan culture. While I understand your point of view, you also have to remember that it can have significant meaning to her and her family. I suggest you politely express your feelings and let her know why it is uncomfortable for you to see her family kneel. When you explain, mention how much her culture means to you as well. I am sure both of you can communicate and come to a compromise that makes you both happy. Just in case, they persist in following the ritual, just look at it as a gesture of love and respect and not submission.

About the moving in together part, in certain parts of the world, couples living together before the traditional wedding is not considered respectful. But since you are already married, you can try explaining to your wife how the living situation does not go against her cultural expectations. But if it is a really big deal for her and her family, consider seeing it from her perspective.

Communication is everything here. Look at every problem as a team; it's not your problem vs her problem. It's both of you vs the problems.

I hope this helps

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1088 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

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Career
I have received a job offer from Siecorp ,a Singapore based company though my posting would be at my hometown . They have asked me to submit all credentials related to education & job experiences which is quite normal but they have asked the following documents also which they said would help me to arrange through some agent by payment & the same would be reimbursed during first month of employment . Earlier also another overseas company asked for the same & I denied to make payment before having the job in hand . 1. Construction Health and Safety Technician (CHST) – Compulsory 2. OSHA Safety Certificate – Compulsory 3. Safety Trained Supervisor (STS) – Non-Compulsory Kindly advise whether these certificates are really required to be submitted to join any foreign company or any sort of cheating business regards,
Ans: Hello Bipradas.
From your query, it is clear that you have offered by job by a Singapore-based company and they are giving you a posting in your home town. You did not mention anything about the work culture of the company. It simply indicates that you are supposed to work from home which is always related to computers. I think there is no harm in producing the required documents through an agent if they are offering you a handsome salary. The requirement for documents differs from company to company. There is no harm in submitting the mentioned documents. If have fear in your mind, then please go through the profile of the company in detail before submitting the documents. There are many ways to check the authenticity of the company. There are some chances of cheating, but everybody is not indulged in the same category. But take the steps with utmost precaution.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7201 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi , I am 46 year old and trying to see if i can take an early retirement in next 2 years. Below is my financial condition; - Mutual fund 40Lakh - FD 30 Lakhs - 2 rental yielding flat with total rent of 55000 per month - Own house with no loan. - PF 80 Lakhs - NPS 10 Lakhs - PPF 20 Lakhs - Term insurance 50Lakhs
Ans: Your financial position shows good planning and discipline.

Assets Summary:

Mutual Funds: Rs 40 lakh
Fixed Deposits: Rs 30 lakh
Rental Income: Rs 55,000 per month from two flats
Own House: Fully paid, no loan liabilities
Provident Fund (PF): Rs 80 lakh
National Pension System (NPS): Rs 10 lakh
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 20 lakh
Term Insurance: Rs 50 lakh
You have built a diversified portfolio across multiple asset classes.

Assessing Early Retirement Feasibility
Early retirement in two years can be achieved with strategic planning.

Key Factors to Evaluate:

Monthly Expenses: Calculate post-retirement expenses, including inflation.
Income Sources: Ensure rental income, investments, and withdrawals meet your needs.
Wealth Growth: Balance corpus growth with income stability.
Monthly Expense Coverage
Assume your future monthly expense is Rs 1.25 lakh.

Existing Income Streams:

Rental Income: Rs 55,000 monthly provides 44% of estimated expenses.
Corpus Withdrawals: Use investments to cover remaining expenses.
Adjust for Inflation:

Plan for a 6% inflation rate to protect purchasing power.
Investment Strategy
Align your portfolio for growth, stability, and liquidity.

Mutual Funds:

Continue investing in equity-oriented funds for long-term growth.
Opt for actively managed funds through Certified Financial Planners.
Avoid index funds; they limit opportunities for alpha generation.
Fixed Deposits:

Reallocate a portion to debt mutual funds for better post-tax returns.
Retain some FDs for emergencies and short-term needs.
NPS and PPF:

Maximise NPS contributions for additional tax savings.
Allow PPF to mature for risk-free, tax-exempt growth.
Corpus Withdrawal Plan
A systematic withdrawal strategy ensures steady income.

Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) in mutual funds for monthly cash flow.
Keep withdrawal rates below 4% annually to sustain the corpus.
Children’s Education Planning
Your son’s education may require significant funds.

Steps to Plan for Education Costs:

Use PPF maturity or mutual fund proceeds for higher education.
Avoid using retirement corpus for educational expenses.
Risk Management
Protecting your family is as critical as building wealth.

Term Insurance Coverage:

Rs 50 lakh is adequate for income replacement.
Ensure policies are active and nominees updated.
Health Insurance:

Opt for a comprehensive family floater policy with Rs 20–25 lakh coverage.
Keep health-related emergency funds for additional expenses.
Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning maximises post-retirement income.

Mutual Fund Taxation:

Equity fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Plan withdrawals carefully.
Fixed Deposit Interest:

FD interest is taxable as per your slab. Consider this in income planning.
Real Estate Considerations
Your rental flats provide steady income.

Points to Consider:

Avoid further real estate investments for better liquidity.
Keep properties well-maintained to ensure uninterrupted rental income.
Healthcare and Emergency Funds
Unplanned medical costs can affect your finances.

Steps to Safeguard:

Maintain Rs 10–15 lakh in liquid assets for emergencies.
Regularly review health insurance coverage to meet rising costs.
Assessing Early Retirement Timing
Your early retirement is achievable by 48 years with careful execution.

Why This is Feasible:

Rental income and portfolio can meet monthly needs.
A diversified asset base ensures sustainable returns.
Finally
Early retirement is within your reach with disciplined planning.

Review your financial plan annually and adjust for changes in needs or markets.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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