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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Respected Ma'am/sir I know it may sound biased . But I am asking what I am seeing around me. I am having a clear feeling that women nowadays are , not only gen z but previous one too, not trustable any more. Even on this website I can see more questions about wife/gf infidelity than men . most of my friends around 90% have been cheated by their gf and it has made them and of course me hating women. And it is not only happening in metropolitan but also in small towns and villages . I am overthinking about this issue and it taking heavy toll in my mind . my brother is going to marry next year but I am even doubting his to be wife , maybe she is talking to some other guy. That is why my relationship with her is not good and confined only to formal . The main concern is that I am very stressful about thinking the future of me and my brother that it may happens with us anytime . It has also grown to such extent that I have even started hating my first and only love. Every time I see a woman or girl my mind suggest me the word cheater or potential cheater. I don't know how to tackle this situation or move foreward. Please help !

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are right from your point of view as that is what you are seeing around you...and what we see is what we believe...
But also remember, there are other points of view which you have started to ignore as your belief has grown stronger by the day!

Are all women cheaters?
Are all the women that are connected to you, cheaters?
Can a few women actually be loyal?

Universal statements like the one you make: "Every time I see a woman or girl my mind suggest me the word cheater or potential cheater." - This will only limit your view of the world and hence limit your experiences and joys of the world.

Let me give you an example for further understanding...
Your friend gets bitten by a stray dog. Your friend will declare: All dogs are bad. They all bite...If you are someone who loves dogs, will you believe this statement? No, right?
Another example:
While boiling milk one day, it curdles...will you declare that Milk is always bad...Is it true?

Kindly open your mind and understand that what you feed your mind with magnifies and makes it true...So, if you want a different view on women, you also need to know that there are two sides to a coin...People are different from one another...Women are all different from one another and there's goodness in each of them that I wish to see...
Doesn't this change your view of the world? If it still doesn't, then you will continue to worry about what's going to happen to your brother or you...Time to change your mindset?

All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |500 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

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Relationship
My name is Rajesh, I am 50 year old 4years back I got to know that my wife is in relationship with someone and after inqiuring in detail I found that, that was her second relationship. Earlier relationship was broken 1 year before. and she told me all herself when I ask on condition that if she didnt tell me I may take dicision of breaking. so sho told me everything without hiding. she is telling me that she still loves me. Arter that she stoped all contacts but after a year she strated developing contacts with facebook messenger and developed one more relationship with one FB friend. again when I got to know she stoped contacting him. this time ther was no physical relationship, but she admitted that he once kissed her. the boy tried to contact her in all ways but she somehow stopped this matter. I love my wife very much. I forgive her every time. three year passed now all this year she was not going outside alone without me. but in these days I also insisted her to go out, and she started going to yoga class where she used to go early and she is very happy now days. I dont know whether I am doing correct or not, some time I still have dought in my mind whether she will start again doing affairs. I am some times afread, dont know what to do. whether I should still continue trusting and loving my wife or what. we have one son age 16 now. I am confuesd sometimes but till date happiness is maintained in the family. But I am feeling lonely somtimes. what to do?
Ans: Dear Rajesh,

I can understand it is an impossible situation for you but this too shall pass. First things first, are you happy in a relationship that involves cheating, not once, but twice and who's to say there won't be a third? Ask yourself that. If the answer is no, it is quite understandable, but if it's yes, then why? Why would anyone be happy with a partner who cheats over and over again? Why do you think you deserve such a life? Granted, relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but they should not look this grim either. You alone have kept it going for this long, and maintained harmony by accepting your partner's infidelity time and again; ask yourself what would happen if you allowed yourself to stop. You can stop tolerating it, you know?

The question isn't how you should deal with your partner who is evidently a repeat cheater. The question is how you should deal with the situation and why are you reacting in a way that almost makes me think that you believe you deserve such a relationship. As for your kid, divorce or separation has much less effect on a child than a broken marriage with two unhappy parents.

If you still want to continue, that is also okay. To each their own, but don't forget to ask yourself what are you staying in this marriage for; your kid, societal pressure, or is it unconditional love for your wife, who, by the way, does not reciprocate the same for you.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

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Relationship
I have been married from last 20 years. It's arrange marriage and before marriage told me let she had an affair with a har college friend dena hai asked that if any relation physical relation has been done she said no I trusted her and married her but after 4 years of marriage I am notice that she didn't paid any attention or don't love me I always thought that there are some mistakes from my side that's why she behave like this . From last 16 years I was suffering from the situation. Recently I come to know when I saw her mobile accidentally and I come to know that she has the same affair from last 16 years with the same guy when I ask about this she told me that it was by mistake I am sorry I won't do this again after some pressureise she also told me that she did a physical relation with him before marriage and after marriage too. I was shocked cause physically I am fit and capable to satisfy her with all the way still she cheated me. Now she confess me all the things and told me promise me that she won't do any mistake henceforth. But no problem is whenever I am trying to get physical or emotional with her some thoughts in my mind game that she did all the things with another guy and cheating me so I can't make any relation ship with her. How can I trust her again we have to kids 10 year each. Please tell me what to do I am frustrated
Ans: Dear Trade,
You need to decide if you wish to trust her or not. It is difficult obviously with what you have discovered. But if you have chosen to carry on within the marriage, the only way that the mind can be managed is to accept what has happened and work with how things are today.
Give your marriage another chance and only then you can work your work through otherwise you will spend time only thinking about her cheating and what she did with the other person which anyone is not working well for you.
So, are you ready to forgive and move on OR hold onto the past? No decision is right or wrong; it's just what you want and then when you make that decision, make everything else work in favor of that decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
hi anuji. I have been married for last 12 years with 2 kids of 10 years. in March I came to know that my wife is repeatedly on call with one person. after checking call logs came to know that she was in touch with the person from last 8 months. initially she denied and informed that she is talking with her female friend but on Truecaller male name was displayed. when I confronted 2-3 times she agreed she was speaking with male person but he is outside town for training purpose. when I checked the persons records I came to know that dates provided by my wife were incorrect. I went to marriage counseling and after repeated confortation she agreed she has committed mistake and asked for forgivenes and requested one chance. after 2 months I came to know that she has lent money without my knowledge to 2 people whom we had agreed that she would not speak 7-8 years back but now came to know she was in contact and has lent money and jewellery without my knowledge. people are refusing to return. these incidents have happened 4-5 months back and wife has moved on but it's difficult for me to trust her even after 5-6 sessions of marriage counseling. currently we are enjoying healthy married life but back of mind it's very difficult to trust my wife and I face anxiety and depression issue whenever such thoughts crop in my mind. I am been in marriage for children well-being and overall family well-being. I have already informed her parents and given ultimatum that if such things repeats then there wouldn't be any chance of recourse. last six months have been worse due to this issue. I want to know how to decrease anxiety and fear of such issue cropping in my life as it's getting difficult to trust.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You learn to live with the fact that your wife is going to do stuff like this or you are going to be faced with constant anxiety...
OR
Give an ultimatum and then go to someone highly recommended for a couples therapy. You both need therapy more than just counseling...
When all trust is list, working at rebuilding it, can be a huge task BUT do take the help of a professional. He/She will dig deeper to find out what goes on in your wife's mind when she lends money or is in random conversations with people. It looks like a people-pleasing thing but without knowing all the facts and going deeper, this is all I can suggest. Try going to a professional who can handle this well and if after that thing still don't work out, the ultimatum is the only thing that might work.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Harsh

Harsh Bharwani  |69 Answers  |Ask -

Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Career
Is laundry franchise business is profitable?
Ans: The laundry business is a profitable venture due to consistent demand, low entry barriers, and a recurring revenue model. Urban areas, in particular, drive growth with their high population of working professionals, students, and families who prefer outsourcing laundry services for convenience.

Profit margins typically range between 20% and 40%, with opportunities to boost earnings through additional services like ironing, dry cleaning, and fabric care. The business offers flexibility in investment and scalability, from self-service laundromats to
full-service operations.

However, challenges such as competition, operational costs, and seasonal demand fluctuations require efficient management. With proper planning, market research, and a focus on customer satisfaction, the laundry business can provide steady income and long-term growth potential.

Things to Consider

1. Research and Location: Target high-demand areas such as residential neighbourhoods, business districts, or near universities.
2. Business Model: Decide between self-service laundromats, full-service laundry, mobile laundry (pickup and delivery), or dry cleaning services.
3. Investment: Budget for equipment, supplies, and operational costs. Franchising can be a lower-risk option for new entrepreneurs.
4. Setup and Legal Requirements: Register the business, obtain necessary licenses, and invest in high-quality, eco-friendly equipment and detergents.
5. Services and Pricing: Offer competitive pricing for services such as washing, ironing, dry cleaning, and delivery. Consider subscription plans or loyalty programs to attract regular customers.
6. Marketing and Customer Care: Build a recognizable brand, use digital marketing to reach your audience, and provide excellent customer service with timely and convenient options.

The laundry business can be a sustainable and profitable venture with strategic planning and effective management.

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |42 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Health
I’ve been practicing yoga for a while now, but I’ve recently started noticing some discomfort in my lower back, especially after doing forward folds and back bends. I try to listen to my body and not push myself too hard, but sometimes I still feel strain or tightness in my back the next day. I’m especially concerned about preventing any long-term damage, and I’d appreciate some tips on how to protect my back while still getting the benefits of these stretches.
Ans: Discomfort in the lower back during yoga is often due to improper alignment or over-stretching. Here’s how to protect your back while continuing your practice:

Engage Your Core: Always activate your core muscles during forward folds and backbends. A strong core supports your lower back and prevents strain.

Modify Forward Folds: Avoid rounding your lower back. Instead, keep your spine long and bend from your hips, not your waist. You can slightly bend your knees to reduce tension on your lower back.

Gentle Backbends: For backbends, focus on opening your chest rather than over-arching your lower back. Start with smaller poses like Cobra Pose (Bhujangasana) and gradually work towards deeper bends like Camel Pose (Ustrasana) with proper guidance.

Use Props: Blocks or cushions can help reduce strain and improve alignment. For example, place a block under your hands during forward folds.

Stretch Your Hamstrings and Hips: Tight hamstrings and hips can pull on your lower back, causing discomfort. Incorporate poses like Reclined Hand-to-Big-Toe Pose (Supta Padangusthasana) and Pigeon Pose (Eka Pada Rajakapotasana).

It’s crucial to work with a yoga coach who can assess your alignment and suggest modifications tailored to you. This will help you avoid injury and enjoy a safer practice.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |42 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2025

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7478 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2025

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Money
Am currently 50...I dont hv job. .Iam invested in mmt but right now am 15% on my PF....I invested 19lacs on mkt. ...wht shud ido ?
Ans: You have made bold moves in investing Rs. 19 lakhs in the market. Being 15% down on your portfolio is concerning but manageable. Let us evaluate your current position and suggest actionable steps.

Key Concerns
Jobless Situation: Absence of steady income creates financial pressure.

Market Volatility: A 15% loss indicates exposure to high-risk investments.

Emergency Needs: Liquidity might be limited if all funds are in the market.

Long-Term Goals: Planning for retirement is essential at this stage.

Strengths
Investments in Market: Rs. 19 lakhs is a good corpus to build wealth.

Time to Recover: At 50, there is still time for strategic financial planning.

Aggressive Approach: Shows you are willing to take risks, which can be an advantage.

Recommendations
Reassess Portfolio Allocation
Review your investments in mutual funds or stocks.

Shift a portion to balanced or hybrid funds for stability.

Reduce exposure to high-risk segments like small caps or sectoral funds.

Create a Contingency Fund
Set aside Rs. 3-5 lakhs for emergencies.

Use liquid funds or short-term fixed deposits for easy access.

Explore Income Sources
Find part-time or freelance opportunities to ease financial stress.

Rental income, tutoring, or consulting can supplement your needs.

Stop Panic Selling
Do not redeem investments in a downturn.

Hold onto quality assets for market recovery.

Diversify Investments
Avoid putting all money in equities.

Consider fixed income options like Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (when eligible), or debt funds.

Plan for Retirement
Evaluate the gap between your current corpus and retirement needs.

Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) later for regular post-retirement income.

Monitor Regularly
Review your portfolio every 6 months.

Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner for rebalancing.

Final Insights
Your situation requires balanced risk-taking and income generation strategies. Preserve capital while focusing on gradual recovery. Discipline and informed decisions will help secure your financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |479 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
i have been married for months and recently found out that my husband is talking secretly with his workmate like 2 months before wedding.i saw all the conversation it seems that both of them are flirting with each other.but then my husband clarify that it was nothing and nothing happened between them but now im literally confuse if i had the right decision of marrying him.And we talk honetly and he told me everything but still i have this doubt esp we will be a long distance again????And he promise he will not talk again with anyone he gave me all his password for all his account and he even buy cctv so that i can monitor him while his away.please help me i dont know what to do i love him dearly and i want to move forward with our future but still have this doubts what if he will do it again????
Ans: The fact that your husband has been open and taken steps to reassure you, like sharing his passwords and even installing CCTV, shows that he's trying to rebuild trust and be transparent. These actions suggest he's serious about addressing your concerns and committed to making you feel secure in the relationship.

That said, rebuilding trust isn't something that happens instantly. It takes time, consistent effort, and ongoing communication. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself the space to process them. Feeling doubt after something like this is a normal response, but it doesn't have to define your relationship going forward.

It's vital to keep the lines of communication open. Talk openly about your feelings, worries, and needs. This kind of dialogue can help both of you understand each other better and strengthen your bond. You might also find it helpful to discuss and agree on clear boundaries for interactions with others, especially given the long-distance aspect of your relationship. This can help create a sense of security and prevent misunderstandings.

While it's important to acknowledge what happened, try to focus on the present and what you both can do to nurture your relationship moving forward. If you find that your doubts and anxieties are overwhelming, seeking the guidance of a couples' therapist might be beneficial. A therapist can help facilitate deeper conversations and provide strategies to rebuild trust and strengthen your relationship.

It's okay to feel unsure, but also recognize the effort your husband is putting in. Trust takes time to rebuild, but with love, dedication, and mutual effort, you can move forward together. Remember, it's a journey, and it's okay to take things one step at a time.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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