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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |463 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 11, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Gouri Question by Gouri on Apr 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Is this relationship will work or i should close this here. I depressed being always act like a fellow i am really done what should I do

Ans: Dear Gouri,

I don't have access to the specific details of your relationship or your personal circumstances, but I can provide you with some general advice that may help you make a decision.

Firstly, it's important to take care of your mental health and well-being. If being in this relationship is causing you to feel depressed and constantly act like a fellow, it may be a sign that this relationship is not healthy for you. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel happy, respected, and valued.

Secondly, it's important to communicate your feelings with your partner. Let them know how you are feeling and what you need from the relationship. This will give them the opportunity to understand your perspective and work towards finding a solution that works for both of you.

If after communicating with your partner, you find that the relationship is not meeting your needs, it may be time to consider ending it. It can be a difficult decision to make, but sometimes it is the best thing for both parties involved.

Ultimately, the decision to stay in or end a relationship is a personal one that depends on a variety of factors. It's important to take the time to reflect on what you want and need from a relationship and make a decision that is right for you.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |463 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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Relationship
I am confused with my relationship. Im in relationship frm last 1 month . I met him via social media . Actually now a days i feel he is not serious with me . Im not getting the good vibes from him. Wht should i do now
Ans: Hello Priyanka.

It's understandable that you are feeling confused about your relationship, especially if you're not getting good vibes from your partner. Here are a few suggestions on what you can do:

Communicate your concerns: It's important to communicate with your partner and express your concerns. Talk about how you feel and ask them how they feel about the relationship. Honest communication can help clear up any misunderstandings or doubts you may have.

Evaluate the relationship: Take some time to reflect on your relationship and evaluate whether it's meeting your needs and expectations. If you feel like the relationship isn't fulfilling, it may be time to reconsider your options.

Take a step back: It's okay to take a step back and give yourself some space to think about the relationship. This can help you gain clarity and perspective on the situation.

Trust your instincts: If you feel like something isn't right, trust your instincts. Your intuition can often guide you towards making the right decision for yourself.

Remember, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness in any relationship. Don't hesitate to reach out to friends or a trusted confidante for support and advice.

PS. It's always advisable to do proper due diligence if things are virtual. You should know and figure out who your partner is in real life. We all know virtual world has its own drawbacks.

Best of luck.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |485 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am dealing with brkup its been 2 months its mutual because he is bhramin his parents will not allow intercaste and for me its not possible to settle in place where he lives . its almost 3-4 year of relationship from my age of 18 he was there with my i lost my father during corona he took care of me , he stayed by my side he is not upto the mark but still he is always there for me after that i leave that state where both we stayed and we did long distance for 2 years but now as he come to know his parents are way more strict he dont want to hurts his parents and even my reason that i have to compromise lot carrrer difference and all. As i lost my father at age of 18 i cry lot every one day gap during my relationship also i was so anxious , and some times due to family problems i always used to be disturbed and dont want to live sometimeslike sucidal thoughts and all but at the time of relationship i share all this to him and i feel okay and got back to my study as he motivates me little . but now after brkup i dont have any real friends , i cant talk to any one neither any person messeges me my depression is becoming more big now we are in no contact for some days but again we talk and again we are in no contact he feels like he is in guilt becos he hurted me and made me miserable also he dont think about any other relation ship whatever his parents will bring he will do but for me not that case becos we dont have nay guardian i have to in my own actually we are not that big for marriage but we thought of future more and brkup becos of i have to find some one right we are 21 also my campus placements are coming his neet pg is coming but my heart cries every day i feel choked , i cried , choked and hurt my head it happens often but i still think we can not talk becos how can we move on from some body we talk but my depression at peak level i msg him with bigtext with all that goin on my life. should we talk ? as their is no rush to find other person we have to first focus on career how can we set boundaries? though if i talk i mak eme feel someone i can talk and make me releif at the sam etime it hurts if i dont talk also its hurts more as i ahve no one to talk with . he insisted me that we can be friends i can see u like this he wants me to be happy he feel he did the sin to me. Pls tell what will be good for me how can i be little releif what should i should i talk treat or my depression how ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is tough. I am also glad you found someone to share your pain with at that moment. Coming to your dilemma- whether you should be in touch with him- I understand that it is a great relief to talk to him, but that is momentary, isn't it? You cannot continue doing this if you two are broken up. Even though he is not planning to get married right away, the problem is that he will someday. Plus, more often than not, one person moves on faster than the other, and in your case, if it's him, it will hurt more. The right thing to do is sit and have a clear conversation. Discuss the possibility of getting back together. Ask what is in his mind and express what's in yours. But going in this circle will only hurt you more; maybe not today, but someday it will.

Now, coming to your depression, I would suggest sharing your pain with close friends but you mentioned you have none. That is not uncommon. Not all of us are blessed with it. In that case, I recommend seeing a professional therapist. There is absolutely no shame in it. Rather it will help you in sorting your feelings. Finally, you can take care of them without relying on your ex. I am sure you are doing a wonderful job in managing your depression but a professional counselor can help you come out of this in a more structured way. Please consider it. If you are not comfortable seeing someone in person, there are several counselors available online. Just try it once and see how that makes you feel.

Remember we all need help occasionally. You are amazing and you do not have to hold everything together alone.

Best Wishes.

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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Money
I have invested in ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 index SIP. I have noticed that from past 6 months the fund is not performing. Should I keep this fund or liquidate and invest in in multi asset fund?
Ans: The ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 Index Fund replicates the Nifty 50 index. It is a passive fund that mirrors the index performance. The last six months have been volatile for the stock market, which has affected index funds. This is expected in short-term market conditions and does not reflect the long-term potential of index-based funds.

However, relying on index funds for wealth creation in volatile markets may not always be optimal. Active funds offer the flexibility of stock selection, better risk management, and potential for higher returns.

Why Active Funds May Be a Better Choice
Volatility Management: Active fund managers adjust the portfolio based on market trends. This flexibility helps during volatile times.

Higher Growth Potential: Actively managed funds can outperform index funds by investing in sectors and stocks with higher potential.

Diversification: Multi-asset funds allocate across equity, debt, and other asset classes. This reduces risk and provides stability.

Assessing Your Current Investment
Index Fund Performance: While the last six months may seem disappointing, index funds are designed for long-term investors.

Cost Factor: Index funds have lower expense ratios but lack active management during market fluctuations.

Active vs Passive: Actively managed funds are better during periods of market instability. They offer professional stock selection and sector rotation.

Benefits of Multi-Asset Funds
Balanced Portfolio: Multi-asset funds invest in equities, bonds, and gold, diversifying your investment.

Risk Mitigation: Allocation to multiple asset classes reduces portfolio volatility.

Stable Returns: These funds aim to provide consistent returns, even during volatile markets.

Suggested Action Plan
Reevaluate Goals: Align your investment decisions with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Shift to Active Funds: Consider shifting from the Nifty 50 index fund to an actively managed multi-cap or multi-asset fund.

Monitor Performance: Choose funds with a strong track record and consistent performance across market cycles.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: A planner can help you select the right actively managed funds and align your investments with your financial plan.

Final Insights
While index funds like ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 are suitable for passive investors, active funds offer an edge in volatile markets. Shifting to a multi-asset or actively managed fund may help you achieve better returns and stability.

Invest wisely, monitor regularly, and stay disciplined to maximise your wealth creation journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Sir/Ma'am, I am here to know if there is a problem with my mind or body as I am having a strong sense of demotivation to work towards the upcoming exams. I had taken a 3 months study leave from my work for the upcoming exams to be held in January . The first month was excellent but the next was not good and last month was pathetic. For the past 2 months I have been trying to work hard sincerely but failed. I sat at the study table, but could not achieve my targets. I wrote the targets , but still failed to complete them. I tried watching self help videos and read self help books but nothing is helping me. Today, it is like my brain signals not to work towards any of my targets. I am a CA aspirant and I tried all these ways but nothing worked for me. My exams are in 9 days and my family is not ready to give me any more chances because this is my 7th attempt. Even if I talk about this problem with my family, they become extremely negative and say harsh words about my future. Since I do not have family or friends to talk about it , could you please provide me sincere help in this ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly work with someone who can get you out of this mindset and into a mindset that is not motivating but also inspiring. Right now what you face is lack of inspiration which is understandable given the many attempts. But you are aware that some professional exams are like this; so persevere...
If it makes sense, take a break from it all...Breaks can refresh the mind and also help you realign yourself back to your goal. But make sure it's a short break and not something that will get you to a place of procrastinating. The break is to help you slow down the mind so that you can bring yourself back to your goal and take necessary steps to achieve it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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