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41-year-old woman confused by man's mixed signals in arranged marriage

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

"Ma'am, I am a 41-year-old woman, and I met a 43-year-old man for an arranged marriage setup. The man and his family were very happy after meeting me and my family, and the man took my number when he was leaving. This all happened after the first meeting, but after 10 days, his response was negative. However, he still saved my number and keeps checking my status."

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's most likely that he and his family were being very polite to your face and then went home to discuss that this alliance will not be right...
Ignore, move on...So, what if he checks your status? Do you think that he is interested? Do you not check the status of other people? It's done and over...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 33 year old women and have been looking for matches in matrimony from year 2021 but was not getting suitable matches. Got connected with multiple profile but it didn't workout well.Just last month i saw one profile i liked it and sent request. My request got accepted and then i shared the contact no with my dad which was registered on matrimony. My dad called his dad and discussed about profiles and they liked it. Now the guy is in USA and his dad said he will be coming back next year. Till then his dad said let them connect on video call. So his dad shared my contact no with him and said he will call me. 2 days passed but he didn't call so my dad informed his dad and his dad called him and then he said he is quite busy in work and will ping me either in weekdays if free or on weekends. But then i didn't receive any reply and then again my dad called them after 10 days and asked why their son has not called yet so his dad also said he is busy but he will definetly call her and till then as per their earlier request we also said if you want to come and meet the family then can do that.so his dad said if we don't have any plan for the next week on weekends[i.e on 24th nov] then we will surely come but then on 23rd nov my dad called them regarding the meet and then they said they are out so mostly will not be able to come tomorrow and his dad said i will ask son to talk to your daughter first today. After this there was no conversation bcoz his son didn't call. Later when i searched him on facebook coincidently on one of his post i saw his contact number and i checked on whatsapp and then i came to know he has saved my contact no. But then i am confused why he haven't called me yet. First time i have got some good vibes about someone but this is really killing me. I was doing lot of overthinking then i asked my dad again if we can ask his contact number and my dad said no this will look desperate to them. I already have his contact number but confused like should i text him what can be the consequences.Lots of thoughts running into my mind. Please help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, there is no hard and fast rule that says that men have to make the first move. If you like someone, you can easily give him a call or drop a text. If a man finds that desperate, you should not settle for someone like that.

Next, judging by the series of events, I would say there is a good chance of either of two things happening- first, he might actually be very busy. But I don't think people are ever so busy that they can't take five minutes of their time to make a call. But then again, you are still strangers and hence, you are not his priority currently. Second, they might be breadcrumbing you. Just giving you enough hope to keep you hooked while they search for more potential matches. The most concerning thing is that the entire family can't keep their word or have the decency to inform about the change of plans.

Your father is not wrong; right now if you contact him after he has repeatedly failed to contact you, it will not look good, and worse, you will not feel good about it. My question is, do you really want a man like this? I know you have been trying for a while and not getting good results can be frustrating, but that does not mean you have to settle for this. I truly believe you deserve better. You can wait some more and see where it goes, but I strongly suggest not pursuing things from your end anymore. Let them do so if they are truly interested. Suppose they don't, understand that you have dodged a bullet.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7629 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 24, 2025

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Money
Hello, I want a monthly withdrawal of 2lakh through SWP. Give me the amounts and expect ROI for various instruments that I should use. Also what factor to consider as I would be able to invest those amount lets say after a year.
Ans: To achieve a sustainable monthly withdrawal of Rs. 2 lakh (Rs. 24 lakh annually), we need to identify the right mix of investments and expected returns. Let us create a detailed framework.

1. Factors to Consider Before Investing
Time Horizon: You plan to start investing after a year. This delay impacts your compounding benefit, but planning ahead mitigates it.

Expected Rate of Return (ROI): Different instruments offer varied returns. Diversification ensures both growth and stability.

Withdrawal Feasibility: Sustainable withdrawals depend on balancing withdrawals with corpus growth.

Inflation Impact: Investments must generate returns above inflation to preserve corpus value.

Risk Appetite: Choose instruments aligning with your comfort towards volatility.

Tax Efficiency: Optimise your withdrawals and investments for better post-tax returns.

2. Expected ROI for Investment Options
Here is the expected ROI and rationale for different asset classes:

Actively Managed Equity Mutual Funds

Allocation: 50% of the corpus
Expected ROI: 12% annually
Rationale: These funds provide high returns and help beat inflation over the long term.
Debt Mutual Funds

Allocation: 30% of the corpus
Expected ROI: 7% annually
Rationale: These offer stability with moderate returns and are suitable for regular withdrawals.
Fixed-Income Instruments (e.g., FDs, SGBs)

Allocation: 15% of the corpus
Expected ROI: 6-7.5% annually
Rationale: Secure returns with no market risk. Ideal for stability.
Liquid Mutual Funds

Allocation: 5% of the corpus
Expected ROI: 4-5% annually
Rationale: Quick access for emergencies or interim cash flow needs.
3. Corpus Required for Rs. 2 Lakh Monthly Withdrawal
Corpus Based on ROI
At 8% ROI: A corpus of Rs. 3 crore is required.
At 9% ROI: A corpus of Rs. 2.66 crore is required.
At 10% ROI: A corpus of Rs. 2.4 crore is required.
The corpus requirement reduces with higher returns but increases risk exposure.

Building the Corpus Over One Year
If the funds are idle for a year, invest them in liquid mutual funds temporarily. These yield 4-5% with low risk.
Use Systematic Transfer Plans (STPs) to gradually move funds into equity and debt over 12-18 months.
4. Investment Plan for SWP
Equity Mutual Funds (50% Allocation)
Allocate Rs. 1.5 crore to equity funds.
Delay SWP for at least three years to allow growth.
Equity funds ensure high long-term returns, reducing inflation's impact.
Debt Mutual Funds (30% Allocation)
Allocate Rs. 90 lakh to debt funds.
Start SWP immediately from this portion.
These funds provide stable returns and low volatility.
Fixed-Income Instruments (15% Allocation)
Allocate Rs. 45 lakh to secure instruments like FDs or Sovereign Gold Bonds.
Use these funds for stability and emergencies.
Liquid Mutual Funds (5% Allocation)
Allocate Rs. 15 lakh to liquid funds.
Use these funds for interim liquidity needs and to manage cash flow gaps.
5. Steps for Efficient Withdrawal
Start withdrawals from debt and liquid funds first. Let equity funds grow for 3-5 years.
Monitor returns annually to adjust the withdrawal rate or asset allocation.
Keep a buffer of 1-2 years' expenses in liquid funds for emergencies.
Review the tax efficiency of your withdrawals and rebalance your portfolio every year.
Final Insights
A well-diversified portfolio ensures stable withdrawals of Rs. 2 lakh monthly. Focus on equity for growth, debt for stability, and liquid funds for emergencies. Starting the plan early and monitoring it regularly will ensure financial independence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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