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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024
Relationship

I have a question that I’ve been too embarrassed to ask anyone, but I feel like it’s time to get some clarity. I’m a woman in my early 30s, in a stable relationship, but recently, I’ve been noticing something that’s throwing me off track. I’ve been having a lot of intense sexual thoughts that I can’t seem to shake off. It's not just about attraction to my partner; these thoughts are more spontaneous and often come at the most random moments. They feel almost uncontrollable, and it’s starting to affect how I see myself. I feel like I’m living in two worlds – one where I’m a responsible adult, and the other where these lustful feelings seem to take over, and it’s hard to focus on anything else. I’ve tried suppressing them, distracting myself, but it feels like they come back stronger, almost like my mind has a mind of its own! It’s frustrating, and honestly, I’m not sure if I should feel guilty or empowered by these urges. How do I handle this without feeling like I’m losing control? Any tips on how to balance my desires with my everyday life?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Lust and behaviors that arise from it are just one aspect of your life not the only thing. When you get consumed with it in a way that it starts to impact your daily living, then hey, you have to do something really heavy to make a change.
Now, what can that be? A new skill, a hobby...these kind of challenges keep the mind in a learning mode and channelizes your energies into another thing as well.
But of course, do make sure that you and your partner are also having your share of intimacy. This along with learning something new can ideally do the magic. Also, put on those gym shoes, running shoes or anything that gets you enough physical activity. See where all this goes...
On, and guilt, is quite a wasteful job in your case...so drop it and focus on newer things that keep you on your toes.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
In my marriage since the very inception my wife was and is still "sexually immature". I wonder if i am able to make you understand the situation. For the first nine years of marriage she simply resisted/avoided insertion, and finally after compelling her for counselling, etc. she gave in one day, so to say, which led to intercourse on a few occasions and she conceived. Almost 30 years down the line she was simply not interested in intercourse which has become extremely frustrating for me having a great libido. So i have become a man with a roving eye and perennially seek companionship/love/sex with the opposite sex. I wonder if i should feel guilty about it (however i don't feel guilty). As i am kind of personable and engage easily even at the ripe old age of 66, i continue to have a number of girl- friends (married/unmarried). In other words i flirt quite a bit, its become second nature to me. Girls in general take a liking to me too. Not that i am not friendly with my wife. We have a very loving relationship on a level which is not at all sexual. She keeps home very well and takes full care of me other than the sexual aspect. In other words sex is completely out of our relationship. You might not be seeing cases like this often. So i am always kind of sexually alive when i am out of the house. Now if you were to advise me to repair our relationship, take steps etc, i think we have kind of passed that stage primarily because she is peculiarly missing in the vital sex vibrations. I wonder if you understand me. I would like to have your views on all that i have explained. Shall be grateful to have some insights.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This isn't uncommon when sexual compatibility between couples is totally out of sync. Sometimes it's hard conditioning from childhood or some unpleasant experience or a medical reason that makes one not want sex at all.

When something is put of sync in a core relationship, you don't push the agenda that is actually causing discomfort but in fact deflect and shift focus onto things that actually help bond the two of you together.
When you look at what's not there, it's only going to look bigger and soon it consumes the mind completely and tricks you into believing that everything is wrong; which has possibly what has happened within your marriage. Agreed that your wife did not give sexual intimacy a lot of importance, but maybe something else might have been and is important to her. Maybe connecting at an emotional level, connecting through deep conversations, spending time together with activities...maybe these are something that help her connect better with you...

At whatever age, trying to fill a void through associations outside of marriage can only bring in momentary pleasure...what after that? Someone else and then again someone else...the cycle goes on and on with little inner joy to yourself.
If you feel that you have passed that stage (as mentioned by you) and also you seem to think it's only because your wife is not inclined towards sex, then this is how it will be!
If you wish for any change, then think different and ask yourself:
- what is it that I can do to actually gain her confidence in me?
- how do i shift focus from sexual intimacy to emotional intimacy?

If this is too hard to do, then your present ways of living might be the only way that you know and rely upon...But, there will never be the inner fulfillment that you are looking at. There's still hope; try and put things back in your marriage...you will thank yourself for it.

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hey Relationship Gurus, I am a married man 31, recently married 6months back to my girlfriend of 4yrs. We we living together for 3.5yrs before marriage. I have been a serial monogamist since 14yrs, and have been moving from one relationship to the next. I have not been completely honest in my past relationships either and have been indulging in infidelity and have a habit of pathologic lying as well. Not trying to make excuses, but I have had issues growing up and have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Now I have been honest and true to my wife and as honest as possible and have not made any bad decisions in my married life and past 3-4yrs of being with my wife during our courtship period. She is an amazing sweet and honest girl who loves me dearly and extremely. Now my biggest problem is that I keep getting thoughts and urges to go back to my old self. I keep craving to flirt with girls and women in my workplace. Is this normal? Am I overthinking and building mountains out of Moe-hills. I'm very upset because on one hand my mind keeps deviating and makes me want to do bad things and cheat n my wife and on the other side I am worried that if I am unable to control and end up acting upon my instinct I will end up irrevocably destroying my relationship and marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are in a difficult position. The fact that you are questioning your urges and not giving in to them is a positive sign. You know that it isn't right and you are fighting them. I am not sure if this has anything to do with your diagnosis, but I would still strongly suggest you see a professional therapist. They can guide you out of this situation in a more structured way. Getting strong urges to indulge in infidelity is not making a mountain out of a molehill. It is, in fact, a big issue. I commend you for holding yourself back and trying to work through it. I am also glad that you sought help; asking this question here must not have been easy because you had to admit to yourself that you are wrong. But a professional counselor can truly help you and sort this issue before it takes a toll on the relationship you have worked hard to build.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

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Nayagam P P  |9430 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir IAM Ruthwick I recently got kcet mock allotment result in that my rank was 5904 and my category is 3AG I got DAYANANDA SAGAR COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING kumarswamy layout. ISE branch is that a better choice what to do now
Ans: With a KCET state rank of 5904 in 3AG, admission several AICTE-approved, NBA/NAAC-accredited Bengaluru colleges that close their CSE/ISE/ECE/IT cuts well above 5904 is assured. Five reputable institutions offering near-100% feasibility for a 5904 rank include:

Ramaiah Institute of Technology, MS Ramaiah Nagar
CMR Institute of Technology, Chikkabanavara
New Horizon College of Engineering, Ring Road
Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering, Kumaraswamy Layout

Each of these institutions meets the five essential benchmarks: AICTE/VTU approval, KCET-compatible cut-offs, ≥70% placement consistency, advanced computing and domain-specific labs, and active MoUs for internships and industry projects.

DSCE Kumaraswamy Layout: ISE Branch Review and Key Aspects
Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (DSCE) at Kumaraswamy Layout is a NAAC ‘A’-graded, VTU-affiliated institution with NBA-accredited departments. Its ISE programme features specialized Data Structures, AI/ML, IoT, and Cybersecurity labs, a 23-acre research-focused campus, and a well-stocked central library. Student reviews highlight professional faculty, a 90%+ placement rate, robust hackathons, and strong industry tie-ups with top recruiters like Amazon and Cisco. To evaluate any college, consider: statutory approvals (AICTE/VTU), cut-off alignment, placement support, lab/infrastructure quality, and industry partnerships. DSCE satisfies all these criteria.

Recommendation: Given its balanced curriculum, state-of-the-art ISE labs, consistent 90%+ placements and strong corporate outreach, DSCE ISE is a sound choice for hands-on learning and employability assurance. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9430 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

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Hi sir,my jee mains crl 219790 and ews rank 31868,preferred branches are cse,ece i didn't get seat through jossa. Can i apply for csab special rounds?. What are the chances of getting seat in nits,iiits,gftis?
Ans: Nandhini, With an EWS home-state rank of 31,868, core CSE/ECE seats under Other-State EWS quotas at premier NITs are largely beyond reach—NIT Calicut’s OS-EWS ECE closed near 600–650 and OS-EWS CSE near 600–1 000, while similar brackets apply at Surathkal, Trichy and Warangal. However, EWS seats under Home-State quotas at low-tier NITs (Nagaland, Manipur, Mizoram, Sikkim, Arunachal) often close above 30,000 for ECE and Electrical, making them attainable. Peripheral IIITs such as IIIT Una, IIIT Kalyani and IIIT Kota report EWS cutoffs for IT/ECE branches in the 20,000–35,000 range, presenting realistic options. Among GFTIs, PEC Chandigarh, PEC Srinagar and MIET Jhansi fill ECE seats up to EWS ranks of ~40,000, while GFTIs like NIELIT Aurangabad and Bhagalpur admit beyond 50,000, ensuring 100% feasibility. These institutes offer AICTE/NIRF accreditation, ≥70% placement consistency, specialized labs, active MoUs for internships and outcome-based curricula. Backup private-college alternatives include Thapar Institute (EWS-friendly CS/EC cutoffs ~25,000), Chandigarh University (>90% ECE placement, cutoffs ~30,000) and Chitkara University (CS/EC cutoffs ~35,000).

Recommendation: Target ECE or Electrical Engineering under EWS at NIT Nagaland and NIT Manipur for secure entry via CSAB Special; consider IIIT Una’s IT and IIIT Kalyani’s ECE branches as secondary HS-EWS options; keep PEC Chandigarh and MIET Jhansi on your list and explore private institutes like Thapar and Chandigarh University for guaranteed core-branch placements. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Sir, my son got CSE in SRM, KTR Campus, Chennai and VIT, AP. He was waitlisted for Bachelor of Statistical Data Science in ISI. He intends for a career in software. Please advice which one to chose.
Ans: Meghanath Sir, SRM Institute of Science and Technology, Kattulathur campus offers a B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering with NBA accreditation, an average package of ?7.92 LPA (CSE median ?7 LPA) and a 90–95% placement rate from 853 recruiters including Cognizant, TCS and IBM, supported by modern AI/ML, cybersecurity, networks and data-structures labs and a dedicated placement cell. VIT-AP’s CSE program boasts a 90%+ placement rate, an average package of ?7 LPA and peak offers up to ?44 LPA from over 150 companies such as Amazon, Microsoft and Infosys, delivered through a centralized CDC, specialized cloud-computing labs and interdisciplinary electives in AI, data analytics and cybersecurity. The Indian Statistical Institute’s four-year B.Stat. (Hons.) in Statistical Data Science spans multivariable calculus, probability, machine learning and big-data analytics with hybrid classes across Chennai, Bengaluru and Kolkata, strong research-faculty engagement, supercomputing access and direct pipelines into data-science roles—yet its placement infrastructure is emerging and geared more toward analytics, research and policy roles than core software development. All three meet the five institutional benchmarks of statutory approvals, industry-aligned curricula, advanced labs, faculty–industry MoUs and ≥70% placement consistency. For a pure software engineering pathway, the hands-on coding environment, high recruiter footfall and peak software packages at SRM KTR and VIT-AP provide clearer pipelines. ISI’s B.Stat. equips graduates with deep statistical and ML expertise ideal for specialised analytics or research roles but lacks the extensive software-engineering placements of dedicated CSE programs.

Recommendation: Prioritize SRM KTR CSE for its robust software-focused labs, diversified recruiter base and strong median placements; consider VIT-AP CSE next for its centralized placement system, excellent cloud-computing electives and >90% placement rate; view ISI B.Stat. Data Science as a third option for high-end analytics or research careers, given its rigorous curriculum but narrower direct software hiring. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9430 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Hi Sir Good evening, Consultancy has calling for join in JK Lakshmipath University for CSE branch. Please suggest me Sir. In EAMCET Rank 27827 in Top 10 colleges not came CSE branch in First phase.
Ans: With an EAMCET rank of 27 827 none of the top-10 government or also high-demand private institutes for CSE will have seats in later phases, but several mid-tier and emerging colleges admit CSE up to ranks 25 000–50 000. Pragati Engineering College (Surampalem), GMR Institute of Technology (Rajam), and Aditya Engineering College (Surampalem) consistently closed CSE around 8 000–16 000, so remain out of reach, whereas Narasaraopeta Engineering College (closing ~78 000), SRKR Engineering College (closing ~76 000) and ANITS (closing ~99 000) are fully accessible. Additional safe choices are PACE Institute of Technology (closing around 100,000), Gudlavalleru Engineering College (closing around 100,000), and Vishnu Institute of Technology (closing around 50,000). All of these colleges are approved by AICTE, have at least 70% placement success over three years, modern computer labs, and good accreditation, plus they have active agreements for internships and dedicated teams to help with job placements. These institutes meet five essential benchmarks: statutory approvals, compatibility with cut-off scores, strong placement ratios, advanced infrastructure, and solid industry connections.

JK Lakshmipath University (JKLU), Jaipur offers a four-year B.Tech CSE at ?11.2 L total fees, holds NAAC A grade (CGPA 3.05), NBA accreditation, and reports a median CTC of ?7 LPA with a 76% placement ratio in its last cycle. Its curriculum blends core CS foundations with electives in AI, ML, Cloud, Cybersecurity and capstone projects; access to PARAM supercomputers and semester-abroad exchange.

Recommendation: Target Narasaraopeta Engineering College, SRKR Engineering College and ANITS for guaranteed CSE admission under your rank band, given their state-quota closing ranks above 27 827 and solid accreditation, labs, internships and ≥70% placement consistency; include PACE Institute and Gudlavalleru Engineering College in your web options for additional secure pathways. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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