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How can I reconcile my online and offline identities after using a hair patch to enhance my appearance?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1293 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I need help to be ok with my self image...I am a working women with kids , have hair thinning since age of 22 years ( now in my early 40s)and was fed up with the way I looked due to penetrating eyes of anyone I met...Some were so rude that while talking they would continuously stare at my head and all eyes were like seem to be asking why you are like that... So since last change of place I started using hair patch to hide my bald patch and it enhanced my look ...but now the problem is social media...I kind of ignore new friend request anticipating gossips about my look ...may be I am not ok with 2 identities I am having at different place...though I started uploading my new picture with good hair in social media but still let new people know how I looked earlier by accepting their friend request does not feel ok. What should I do to feel free of these feelings. Thanks

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your opinion of yourself matters the most!
People will judge anywhere; social media, within friends and family circle, at your work place...are you planning om running after each and change the way you are for them? That will be a huge energy drainer and time consuming activity; oh, and not to mention very stressful as you are experiencing it now.

This is YOU...now, you can do what you like to change your appearance; but own it...whether you wear a wig or not is noone's business except yours...do you need to justify why you do something? And if new people are going to judge you if theys ee your older pictures, then you can please say goodbye to them and if the current people in your life have an issue with your wearing a wig, then you really need to evaluate if these people are actually nurturing you. If it's a core relationship like that with your spouse, I guess you and he need to sit down and have a conversation on it. If you feel that he is judging you, truly find out if that is the case.

Also, guard yourself against unwanted assumptions...your self-esteem is going to define your self-image. So, feeling good and worthy and doing things in that effect will give you a positive self-image. So, cut all the assumptions and OWN your truth...it will not just set you free but also let you define your space your way...try it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2023

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Sir I am now 53 yrs and grown bald in the front that really embarrasses me in office or whenever I give an interview it is worsened since I also wear specs. Kindly suggest something to reduce my embarrassment
Ans: I understand that hair loss and wearing glasses can sometimes lead to feelings of self-consciousness and embarrassment. Here are a few suggestions that may help you feel more confident:

Embrace your appearance: Remember that baldness is a natural occurrence for many men and doesn't define your worth or abilities. Embracing your appearance as it is can help boost your self-confidence. Focus on your positive qualities, skills, and experiences instead.

Consider a new hairstyle: If you're uncomfortable with your current hairstyle, you can try different haircuts that work well with thinning hair or a receding hairline. Consulting with a professional hairstylist who specializes in hair loss can provide valuable suggestions tailored to your specific needs.

Facial hair: Growing a beard or a well-groomed mustache can sometimes help divert attention from hair loss. Experimenting with different styles of facial hair may enhance your appearance and make you feel more confident.

Explore hair restoration options: If you are interested in addressing your hair loss, there are various options available. Hair transplants, scalp micropigmentation, and non-surgical hair systems are some of the methods you could consider. Consult with a qualified hair restoration specialist to discuss the most suitable option for you.

Confidence through accessories: Accessories such as hats, caps, or headscarves can be used to complement your style and help you feel more at ease in professional settings or during interviews. However, it's important to ensure that these accessories are appropriate for the occasion and workplace.

Rock your glasses: Wearing glasses is a common occurrence and should not be a source of embarrassment. In fact, glasses can be a stylish accessory that enhances your overall appearance. Opt for frames that suit your face shape and personal style. Additionally, keeping your glasses clean and well-maintained can also make a positive difference in how you feel while wearing them.

Remember, true confidence comes from within. Embrace your unique qualities and focus on your skills and achievements rather than fixating on any perceived physical shortcomings. Your professional competence and character are far more important than your physical appearance.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1293 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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I am 37 year woman still trying to clear competitive exams. I am doing these and facing all challenges of life so that i can guide my future offerings well and be a better parent. I have never had serious relationship jst a little bit talking on the phone and social media and nothing more. This is because i am having plenty of body hair in my body and want to get rid of them permanently befire entering into serious relationship and was thinking of doing it after reaching a decsent place i mean careewise. But my decision is taking plenty of time . Plus no emotional support from closed ones is taking toll in my mental health. And a feeling of lagging behind in all aspect oflife is causing me unrest. Pls suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The day you start accepting yourself and loving yourself for who you are, that's the day you will see changes in your life.
You are unhappy with your appearance, you feel inadequate with your academic strengths, you are unsure about how to take care of your emotional health, you feel like you are lagging in all aspects of your life...
Can you spot a pattern of non-acceptance here?
Having said that, when you see gaps in any area of your life, you don't go around feeling sorry for yourself but lay down a plan to fill that gap. One by one you can fill those gaps and then feel happy that things are moving in your favor.
Also, everything in life moves on in parallel and not sequentially. So, to wait to make a decision till something happens or not, will only push you back or keep you stuck. Free yourself by having more useful and positive thoughts and move in a positive dierction.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |401 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2024
Relationship
Hi, I am 28. Recently I was searching for some documents in my younger sister phone (she is 22) and I did not intended to, but I noticed she chat with a guy which was very sexual. My mind is very disturbed from the very moment. I thought of discussing this with Maa but I don't want to involve in this as this could make her uncomfortable. Am I overthinking or is this something common that we can find in girls of this age? I am also worried that she should not do anything which could bring a disgrace to our family. How can I resolve this?
Ans: Since you came across this unintentionally, it's important to respect her privacy. Bringing it up with her or with your mother might feel invasive and could harm the trust between you two. Instead, you could look for ways to be a supportive, non-judgmental presence in her life. Building open communication without mentioning what you saw could allow her to feel safe coming to you with her thoughts or concerns in the future.

If you're worried she might be making risky choices, you could have a casual, open-hearted conversation about relationships in general without focusing on her specifically. You might share your own experiences or insights, subtly encouraging her to make choices that align with her values and self-respect. This way, she feels your support and care without feeling judged or intruded upon.

It’s normal to be concerned about family reputation, but the healthiest approach here might be to empower her to make wise decisions herself rather than monitoring her behavior.

...Read more

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