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How Can I Forget My Childhood Taunts and Boost My Self-Confidence?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1406 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 10, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2024Hindi
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Hello Ma'am. Can you tell how can I forget my childhood memories. In my childhood everyone taunts me that I don't look like my mother. I don't look good. My mother has fair skin and I don't have fair skin like her. I have listened to this many times and from many people. So all this words is deeply rooted in my mind and I feel less confidence about myself. I am not confident in approaching someone to chat because at the back of my mind this thing's comes automatically. Due to this I have very low self-confidence. I always feel that I am not good looking. This thought automatically comes to my mind. How can I solve this. How can I increase my self-confidence about myself. Please show me ways

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
And by being fair, there's some great advantage that they all have, is it?
I know that it has been pretty unfair on you that you are not 'fair' and the obsession that some families have over skin color is pretty sickening.
Now, this part of your life is under your control. Either ruin it by bringing the past and 'color' it bad or make it 'colorful' by actually challenging what had happened to you. And how do you do that? By actually not reacting to the past labels; they were in your past. If you accept the way you look and flaunt it, then all these comparisons do not matter. But if you keep replaying the saem music from your past, this is going to continue and make it only worse.
So, accept yourself and every time you feel bad, make sure you tell yourself that your past does not define how your present is...again like any mindset change, this will take time to take effect BUT keep powering on...
Only you can be your best friend and hero, that's it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Dec 10, 2024 | Answered on Dec 11, 2024
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Ma'am, Due to this I have inferiority complex. How can I get out of this. How can I increase my self-confidence and self-esteem.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I think you might want to read my response again...
Accept yourself for who you are and as you are...how do you know that you have an inferiority complex? Only because you have compared yourself or heard people compare you. This needs to stop first and it starts with how kindly you treat yourself...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1406 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 29, 2024Hindi
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I need help to be ok with my self image...I am a working women with kids , have hair thinning since age of 22 years ( now in my early 40s)and was fed up with the way I looked due to penetrating eyes of anyone I met...Some were so rude that while talking they would continuously stare at my head and all eyes were like seem to be asking why you are like that... So since last change of place I started using hair patch to hide my bald patch and it enhanced my look ...but now the problem is social media...I kind of ignore new friend request anticipating gossips about my look ...may be I am not ok with 2 identities I am having at different place...though I started uploading my new picture with good hair in social media but still let new people know how I looked earlier by accepting their friend request does not feel ok. What should I do to feel free of these feelings. Thanks
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your opinion of yourself matters the most!
People will judge anywhere; social media, within friends and family circle, at your work place...are you planning om running after each and change the way you are for them? That will be a huge energy drainer and time consuming activity; oh, and not to mention very stressful as you are experiencing it now.

This is YOU...now, you can do what you like to change your appearance; but own it...whether you wear a wig or not is noone's business except yours...do you need to justify why you do something? And if new people are going to judge you if theys ee your older pictures, then you can please say goodbye to them and if the current people in your life have an issue with your wearing a wig, then you really need to evaluate if these people are actually nurturing you. If it's a core relationship like that with your spouse, I guess you and he need to sit down and have a conversation on it. If you feel that he is judging you, truly find out if that is the case.

Also, guard yourself against unwanted assumptions...your self-esteem is going to define your self-image. So, feeling good and worthy and doing things in that effect will give you a positive self-image. So, cut all the assumptions and OWN your truth...it will not just set you free but also let you define your space your way...try it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1406 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

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Hi I am very troubled with negative thoughts for quite sometime. Thoughts about putting someone down or any activity not going to go right or imaginary argumentative conversations leading to me showing down the other person keeps preoccupying my mind. Basically I am trying to show down the other person or situation and trying to win my hand or situation. It keeps me occupied majority of the time even when I am driving, taking a walk or running, eating, during meditation as well. For real events like if I have to go buy something, I imaging the seller cheating me, giving me faulty product or not charging me more etc., while in reality it may not happen and I will take a sigh of relief. I was not like this. I was a very happy, positive & optimistic as a child, throughout school, college, at work and used to be an inspiration to many. I think my ruminations have slowly commenced as I grew in age and slowly the positivity has lead to negativity & anger. I am in fifties now. I have been trying to practice Vipassana meditation, trying to get back to exercise but it is not helping. This has increase multifold as in my daily interactions, I always find people/friends poking fun of me and trying to put me down and I fight back even though knowing that it will be of no use. I am nice to my friends and people around me but they are not the same to me. Due to this I am beginning to reduce my interactions and get away from the abuse. Though I feel that I still look at everything in a positive light but the negative ruminations due to the everyday insults / slights have begun to bother me a lot and not able to have positive thoughts. Interaction with family is also suffering. Once upon a time I had many friends who I could talk to freely without prejudice but now I don't as most of them are not nice anymore even when I am very nice, positive & encouraging with them. I hope, I made some sense. Seeking help and guidance.
Ans: Dear Buddhu,
There's obviously something that has triggered you to think and act differently and that is not known here.
The best way I can suggest is: To start journaling. To write down the days events can help you decipher what's happening and what have been your reactions to events during the day. It will give you an idea on what to change.
Find and ways and means of replacing all the negative thoughts and actions during the day with something more useful. Soon, you will be in a place where journaling not only becomes a habit but also it will in a way guide you into meaningful ways during instances for the following days.
So, make that Journal your Guide.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1406 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2024Hindi
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Hello Anu, I want to talk about my something that has been bothering for a long time now. I am 28 years old now. I had immense body image problem as a child because I was often made fun of because of my obesity. With time I became active in school, participating in various events and was good at studies. When I was about 15 years old I started to experience hair loss as well but not too noticeable at the time. After the 1st semester in college I was able to shed excess weight and I started to feel good about how I looked, but the hair loss also continued and my confidence took a massive hit. I also found it quite difficult to commit to a relationship because I was afraid how others would perceive me and I would not be able to handle it. I was not able to keep myself happy so how could I keep someone else happy. Over the years I have kept myself occupied with my job and tried to be as social as I can be, but there has never been a moment where I could just switch off the feeling of being bothered by my hair loss, I did not let go of what I wanted to be, I just wanted to have a time where I would not be made fun of. I was quite sensitive emotionally and this aggravated after hair loss. I always feel that I could not enjoy my teenage life the way I wanted because of something that I don't know how it started. It's frustrating. I feel this huge gap between how am I supposed to be at my current age and what I actually feel as a person right now. Although I have tried to introspect even more this year and tried to accept that I will just have to find a match with what I have, I just don't understand how should I approach this. Sometimes I simulate it as business deal. My hair loss is not really something that a partner may be looking forward to. I still feel like I am not 28 years old. I am not supposed to be like this at 28. I know that there are others out there in the world in my age group who have also experience this, but I feel so isolated here just like how I used to feel as a child when someone would make fun of my weight among a group of kids. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's misshapen identity...Ultimately the only person who can accept you for who you are, is YOU. People are always going to have something to say about the way you look, what you eat, how you speak...
So, building your identity has to come from you, within you.
- how do I see myself in the mirror?
- what words do I use when I describe myself?
- what happens when I meet people?

A few questions that will give you a reality check. Self-talk is so undermined and we are the first ones to put down ourselves. Obviously, there are parts of your personality that you have overlooked as you have only focused on hair loss. Maybe you have a beautiful smile or you can hold conversations at length.

Actually do this:
Make a questionnaire that will help you figure out what people think of you. Ask these to at least 15 people. You will see the gap between how you see yourself and how others see you. This will help you when you are actively seeking a life partner as you will approach the same thing with confidence and assurance.
And maybe you can see a doctor who can help you with regaining the lost hair. Yeah?
You feel isolated because of your self-talk; so, be kind to yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7322 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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Hi Mr. Ramalingam, Can I check New Asset class (Specialized Investment Fund SIF) for 10 lakhs investment for my kids education(Right now 4months old). Thank you for your response.
Ans: Investing Rs 10 lakhs for your child’s education is a thoughtful decision.

Your child is 4 months old, so you have a long investment horizon.

Currently, SIF is not yet launched or operational.

Equity Mutual Funds: A Reliable Option
Equity mutual funds are proven for long-term goals like education.

They offer inflation-beating growth over a 15-18 year period.

Start investing now to benefit from compounding.

Choose funds with a consistent track record.

Wait and Observe SIF Performance
SIF is a new asset class and lacks a performance track record.

It’s wise to wait for its launch and review its stability.

Assess the fund's returns, risk profile, and management quality.

Investing in an untested asset could increase risks unnecessarily.

Diversify Investments Over Time
Initially, focus on equity mutual funds for growth.

Later, as SIF stabilises and performs well, consider it.

Diversify across asset classes gradually based on market insights.

Final Insights
Begin with equity mutual funds for your child’s education fund.

Monitor SIF's launch and performance over the next few years.

Decide on SIF only after it demonstrates a solid track record.

Keep your investments aligned with your long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |790 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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I& my wife is 32. What would our ideally retirement corps. I assume 20Cr. Correct me if I'm wrong. My current saving & income are below - 1) Rs 2,40,000 take home per month combined. 2) We both have PPF for the last 7 years contributing 1.5L each year from starting and plans to continue till 60. 3) LIC will give us 2Cr when we hit 60. 4) NPS we contribute 1L per each year form 2022 combined plans continue till 60. 5) Mutual Fund of SIP Rs 10,000 each month for last 1 year combined plans continue till 60. 6) APY we will get 5000 per month at 60. 7) FDs of Rs 36Lakh 8) Gold of Rs 15Lakh bonds 9) Got Inherited Rs 1.6Cr in form of FDs 10) Have Medeclaim of 40Lakhs and have own house. 11) Monthly expenses is around 40,000. 12) Have 1 year old Kid. 13) Have PF of 8 lakhs and will grow till 60. Also taking Gratuity in account.
Ans: Hello;

Your current monthly income need of 2.4 L will grow up to 12.27 L after 28 years (At your retirement age of 60) considering 6% inflation.

Assuming your expenses at retirement will reduce so you may need 75% of this income to cover your expenses at that time therefore you may need a monthly income of 9.2 L.

To generate this income you may need a corpus of 27 Cr(Min.) at the age 60 that may generate post-tax monthly income of around 9.2 L.

Your investments will grow as follows,

1. PPF: 1.5 L per person per year for 35 years will grow into a corpus of around 4.32 Cr. (6.9% return assumed)

2. LIC: policy maturity proceeds will provide 2 Cr at age 60.

3. NPS: 1 L per person per year may grow into a sum of 2.5 Cr at 60.(8% return considered)

4. MF sip of 10 K may grow into a sum of 2.05 Cr at 60. (10% return considered)

5. FD of 36 L will grow into a sum of 2.1 Cr if held till 60. (6.5% return assumed)

6. Gold in form of bonds if reinvested into gold mutual funds and held till 60 may yield a corpus of around 1.1 Cr. (7% return assumed)

7. Inherited funds if held in FD till the age of 60 may yield a corpus of 9.9 Cr.
(6.5% return considered)

8. EPF is expected to grow into a sum of around 1.8 Cr at the age of 60.(7% return considered)

A summation of investment values at 60 indicates a sum of around 25.77 Cr thereby hinting at a gap of around 1.23 Cr.

You may begin another monthly sip of 7 K now which may grow into a sum of around 1.3 Cr by 60 age.(10% return assumed)

If the mediclaim policy is from employer, do buy a personal health care cover after 50-55 for your family for post retirement needs.

I presume you both have adequate term life insurance cover apart from LIC policy.

The financial goal for your kid's education and family expansion, if any, is not factored here. You may need to plan for it suitably.

Also it appears that your allocation to equity is quite low, may be due to limited risk appetite but you have time on your side and although short to medium term(5-7 yr) equity asset class may be impacted due to volatility but over a long-term(10 yr+) they have demonstrated good inflation adjusted returns so may be you may consider to increase allocation through hybrid funds suiting your risk appetite.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7322 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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Meri family ki income 80 lakhs hai yearly aur 40 lakhs expense hai aur age meri 48 hai capital family ki 4 cr hai to unko kaise manage aur kaha invest kare
Ans: Current Financial Snapshot
Annual Income: Rs 80 lakhs
Annual Expenses: Rs 40 lakhs
Capital Available: Rs 4 crores
Age: 48 years
Your income and existing capital provide a strong foundation. With proper planning, you can secure your financial future and achieve your goals.

Key Financial Goals
Retirement Planning: Build a corpus to sustain your post-retirement lifestyle.
Wealth Growth: Invest capital for inflation-beating returns.
Risk Management: Ensure adequate insurance coverage for family security.
Tax Efficiency: Optimise investments to reduce tax liabilities.
Suggested Investment Allocation
1. Emergency Fund
Maintain 6-12 months of expenses (Rs 20-40 lakhs) in liquid funds or a high-interest savings account.
This ensures liquidity for any unforeseen circumstances.
2. Equity Mutual Funds
Allocate 50-60% of your capital (around Rs 2-2.4 crores) to equity mutual funds.
Use diversified funds like large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds for growth.
Avoid index funds due to lack of flexibility and active management.
Invest monthly through systematic investment plans (SIPs) for disciplined investing.
3. Debt Investments
Invest 20-25% of your capital (Rs 80 lakhs-1 crore) in debt mutual funds or fixed-income instruments.
Choose funds with low risk to ensure stability and predictable returns.
These funds act as a safety net during market downturns.
4. Children’s Education or Marriage
Allocate funds for long-term goals like education or marriage.
Invest in balanced advantage funds or equity mutual funds for higher returns.
5. Retirement Planning
At 48, focus on building a retirement corpus.
Allocate 20% of your capital (Rs 80 lakhs) to retirement-specific investments.
Use a mix of equity and debt for growth and safety.
Risk Management
Life Insurance
Ensure you have a term insurance cover of at least Rs 2-3 crore.
This protects your family’s financial future in your absence.
Health Insurance
Take a family floater health insurance plan of Rs 25-30 lakh.
Include critical illness coverage to address rising healthcare costs.
Tax Efficiency
Maximise Section 80C benefits by investing in ELSS mutual funds or PPF.
Use NPS for additional tax deductions under Section 80CCD.
Invest in tax-efficient instruments to reduce liabilities.
Regular Monitoring
Review your investments every six months with a Certified Financial Planner.
Rebalance your portfolio to align with market trends and life changes.
Final Insights
You have a strong financial base with high income and significant capital.

With disciplined investing, risk management, and tax efficiency, you can grow your wealth and achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7322 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2024Hindi
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Namaskar Sir, I am 30 years old and want to start SIP @10,000/-pm in Mid cap mutual fund for next 30 years for a target of Rs 20 Cr (18-20%/year). You are requested to guide me about risks may come in future in MF industry and risk regarding sustainability of the fund house for next 30 years.
Ans: Investing Rs. 10,000 monthly in a mid-cap mutual fund is a commendable strategy. It shows your commitment to achieving a robust corpus of Rs. 20 crore in 30 years. However, there are risks and considerations to address.

1. Potential Risks in the Mutual Fund Industry
Market Volatility
Mid-cap funds are more volatile than large-cap funds.

Short-term fluctuations can impact returns during market corrections.

Economic Slowdowns
Economic instability can adversely affect mid-cap stocks.

Such slowdowns could lower the growth trajectory of the fund.

Regulatory Changes
SEBI and government regulations may impact mutual fund operations.

For example, changes in taxation or investment limits can affect returns.

Inflation Risk
Inflation can erode purchasing power and real returns over 30 years.

This risk must be factored into your long-term goal.

2. Risks of Fund House Sustainability
Fund House Stability
A fund house with a poor track record may not survive for 30 years.

Choose an established and reputed fund house with strong governance.

Fund Manager Risk
Performance depends on fund manager decisions.

Manager changes may impact the strategy and consistency of the fund.

Operational Risks
Fund houses may face risks like technology failures or poor compliance.

Verify the operational strength and risk management policies of the fund house.

3. Realistic Return Expectations
Expecting 18-20% annualised returns over 30 years is optimistic.

Historical data shows mid-cap funds average around 12-15% returns.

Relying on higher returns can lead to unrealistic expectations.

4. Diversification for Stability
Do not rely solely on mid-cap funds for your goal.

Diversify with large-cap or flexi-cap funds to reduce volatility.

Balanced funds can provide a mix of growth and stability.

5. Importance of Periodic Review
Monitor your SIP performance regularly, at least once a year.

Assess fund performance against benchmarks and peers.

Make necessary adjustments to align with your goals.

6. Role of Active Fund Management
Actively managed funds can outperform benchmarks during volatile markets.

Fund managers actively track market changes and rebalance portfolios.

This approach offers an edge over passively managed index funds.

7. Tax Implications on Returns
Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Understanding tax implications helps plan withdrawals effectively.

8. 360-Degree Financial Planning
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses.

This ensures financial stability during unforeseen situations.

Adequate Insurance
Secure yourself with adequate life and health insurance.

Avoid using ULIPs or investment-linked insurance for this purpose.

Retirement Planning
Parallelly invest in retirement-specific instruments for long-term security.

Diversify your portfolio to include stable growth options.

Education and Marriage
Plan separate investments for future education and marriage expenses.

Diversify investments to balance risk across different life goals.

Finally
Mid-cap funds are a promising option for wealth creation, but they come with risks. Diversify, review periodically, and adjust your strategy as needed. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to build a robust, long-term investment plan tailored to your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7322 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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I am Pushpinder Singh I will be 24 years in January 2024 and I have almost 12.5 lacs in financial markets 6.71 lac and 5.8 lac in mutual funds I have sip of 22000 per months divided in multiple mutual funds from mostly nippon mid cap fund and some other funds divided in small caps us equities large cap and government bonds and psu debt fund and I will be increasing my Sip to 25000 or 27000 including nps and my father and parents are giving me money for SIPs and mutual fund currently I am in Canada looking for job and planning to come back to India in march 2025 because my permit will expire then. Could you tell me what to do I am really confused and frustrated could you help me please thank you
Ans: At 24, managing Rs 12.5 lakh in investments is impressive.

Your SIP of Rs 22,000 reflects disciplined investing.

Planning to increase your SIP shows future financial awareness.

You’ve diversified across equity, debt, and international funds.

Relying on family for investments now provides flexibility.

However, it’s vital to plan for financial independence.

Clarity on Long-Term Goals
Define your financial goals clearly for better direction.

Examples include building wealth, home purchase, or retirement corpus.

Returning to India in 2025 changes your financial planning needs.

Review Current Investment Strategy
1. Mutual Funds Portfolio
Your focus on mid-cap and small-cap funds is growth-oriented.

These funds are volatile but perform well long-term.

Balance them with large-cap funds for stability.

PSU debt funds are safe but offer limited growth.

International equity exposure adds diversification but check fund performance.

2. SIP Increment
Increasing your SIP to Rs 25,000-27,000 is wise.

Focus on equity funds for inflation-beating returns.

Monitor underperforming funds and replace them if needed.

NPS Contribution and Benefits
Including NPS in your portfolio provides retirement-specific savings.

NPS allows tax benefits under Section 80CCD.

Opt for higher equity exposure in NPS for better returns.

As you near retirement, rebalance towards safer investments.

Financial Independence in Canada
Job search in Canada should focus on income stability.

Allocate part-time earnings to emergency funds or SIPs.

Build a liquid emergency fund covering at least six months’ expenses.

This fund can support you during job transitions in Canada or India.

Financial Adjustments Upon Returning to India
1. Reassess Your Expenses
Post-2025, review living expenses in India.

Adjust investments based on changes in cost of living.

2. Optimise Tax Efficiency
NRI status changes tax rules for your investments.

Understand mutual fund taxation when switching residency.

Keep debt funds minimal as they have higher tax rates.

3. Health Insurance and Risk Management
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage upon return.

Consider personal health policies in addition to family coverage.

Addressing Emotional Stress
Feeling frustrated at 24 is natural during transitions.

Focus on achievable milestones rather than everything at once.

Talk to family about shared expectations for clarity.

Final Insights
Your disciplined start provides a strong financial foundation.

Balance high-growth funds with stability-oriented investments.

Build financial independence while relying on family support initially.

Maintain focus on long-term goals even during temporary setbacks.

Regularly monitor and realign investments to match your evolving life stages.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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