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How Can I Forget My Childhood Taunts and Boost My Self-Confidence?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1549 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 10, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2024Hindi
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Hello Ma'am. Can you tell how can I forget my childhood memories. In my childhood everyone taunts me that I don't look like my mother. I don't look good. My mother has fair skin and I don't have fair skin like her. I have listened to this many times and from many people. So all this words is deeply rooted in my mind and I feel less confidence about myself. I am not confident in approaching someone to chat because at the back of my mind this thing's comes automatically. Due to this I have very low self-confidence. I always feel that I am not good looking. This thought automatically comes to my mind. How can I solve this. How can I increase my self-confidence about myself. Please show me ways

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
And by being fair, there's some great advantage that they all have, is it?
I know that it has been pretty unfair on you that you are not 'fair' and the obsession that some families have over skin color is pretty sickening.
Now, this part of your life is under your control. Either ruin it by bringing the past and 'color' it bad or make it 'colorful' by actually challenging what had happened to you. And how do you do that? By actually not reacting to the past labels; they were in your past. If you accept the way you look and flaunt it, then all these comparisons do not matter. But if you keep replaying the saem music from your past, this is going to continue and make it only worse.
So, accept yourself and every time you feel bad, make sure you tell yourself that your past does not define how your present is...again like any mindset change, this will take time to take effect BUT keep powering on...
Only you can be your best friend and hero, that's it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Dec 10, 2024 | Answered on Dec 11, 2024
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Ma'am, Due to this I have inferiority complex. How can I get out of this. How can I increase my self-confidence and self-esteem.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I think you might want to read my response again...
Accept yourself for who you are and as you are...how do you know that you have an inferiority complex? Only because you have compared yourself or heard people compare you. This needs to stop first and it starts with how kindly you treat yourself...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1549 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 29, 2024Hindi
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I need help to be ok with my self image...I am a working women with kids , have hair thinning since age of 22 years ( now in my early 40s)and was fed up with the way I looked due to penetrating eyes of anyone I met...Some were so rude that while talking they would continuously stare at my head and all eyes were like seem to be asking why you are like that... So since last change of place I started using hair patch to hide my bald patch and it enhanced my look ...but now the problem is social media...I kind of ignore new friend request anticipating gossips about my look ...may be I am not ok with 2 identities I am having at different place...though I started uploading my new picture with good hair in social media but still let new people know how I looked earlier by accepting their friend request does not feel ok. What should I do to feel free of these feelings. Thanks
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your opinion of yourself matters the most!
People will judge anywhere; social media, within friends and family circle, at your work place...are you planning om running after each and change the way you are for them? That will be a huge energy drainer and time consuming activity; oh, and not to mention very stressful as you are experiencing it now.

This is YOU...now, you can do what you like to change your appearance; but own it...whether you wear a wig or not is noone's business except yours...do you need to justify why you do something? And if new people are going to judge you if theys ee your older pictures, then you can please say goodbye to them and if the current people in your life have an issue with your wearing a wig, then you really need to evaluate if these people are actually nurturing you. If it's a core relationship like that with your spouse, I guess you and he need to sit down and have a conversation on it. If you feel that he is judging you, truly find out if that is the case.

Also, guard yourself against unwanted assumptions...your self-esteem is going to define your self-image. So, feeling good and worthy and doing things in that effect will give you a positive self-image. So, cut all the assumptions and OWN your truth...it will not just set you free but also let you define your space your way...try it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1549 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2024Hindi
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Hello Anu, I want to talk about my something that has been bothering for a long time now. I am 28 years old now. I had immense body image problem as a child because I was often made fun of because of my obesity. With time I became active in school, participating in various events and was good at studies. When I was about 15 years old I started to experience hair loss as well but not too noticeable at the time. After the 1st semester in college I was able to shed excess weight and I started to feel good about how I looked, but the hair loss also continued and my confidence took a massive hit. I also found it quite difficult to commit to a relationship because I was afraid how others would perceive me and I would not be able to handle it. I was not able to keep myself happy so how could I keep someone else happy. Over the years I have kept myself occupied with my job and tried to be as social as I can be, but there has never been a moment where I could just switch off the feeling of being bothered by my hair loss, I did not let go of what I wanted to be, I just wanted to have a time where I would not be made fun of. I was quite sensitive emotionally and this aggravated after hair loss. I always feel that I could not enjoy my teenage life the way I wanted because of something that I don't know how it started. It's frustrating. I feel this huge gap between how am I supposed to be at my current age and what I actually feel as a person right now. Although I have tried to introspect even more this year and tried to accept that I will just have to find a match with what I have, I just don't understand how should I approach this. Sometimes I simulate it as business deal. My hair loss is not really something that a partner may be looking forward to. I still feel like I am not 28 years old. I am not supposed to be like this at 28. I know that there are others out there in the world in my age group who have also experience this, but I feel so isolated here just like how I used to feel as a child when someone would make fun of my weight among a group of kids. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's misshapen identity...Ultimately the only person who can accept you for who you are, is YOU. People are always going to have something to say about the way you look, what you eat, how you speak...
So, building your identity has to come from you, within you.
- how do I see myself in the mirror?
- what words do I use when I describe myself?
- what happens when I meet people?

A few questions that will give you a reality check. Self-talk is so undermined and we are the first ones to put down ourselves. Obviously, there are parts of your personality that you have overlooked as you have only focused on hair loss. Maybe you have a beautiful smile or you can hold conversations at length.

Actually do this:
Make a questionnaire that will help you figure out what people think of you. Ask these to at least 15 people. You will see the gap between how you see yourself and how others see you. This will help you when you are actively seeking a life partner as you will approach the same thing with confidence and assurance.
And maybe you can see a doctor who can help you with regaining the lost hair. Yeah?
You feel isolated because of your self-talk; so, be kind to yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |555 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to overcome from past memories
Ans: Healing from painful past memories is an intimate and deeply emotional journey. It’s not just about forgetting what happened but learning to carry those experiences in a way that doesn’t weigh you down.

Start by honoring your feelings. These memories are a part of your story, and the emotions tied to them are valid. Allow yourself to sit with the pain, the sadness, or even the anger, without rushing to push it away. Sometimes, simply acknowledging the hurt can bring a sense of release.

Mindfulness can be a gentle companion in this process. When the past pulls you back, focus on the present moment. Notice the feel of your breath, the warmth of the sun, or the grounding sensation of your feet on the floor. These small acts remind you that you are here, now, safe and capable of healing.

Embrace self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have scars and that healing takes time. You don’t have to be perfect or have it all figured out. It’s enough to take one step at a time.

Sometimes, letting go means forgiving—not just others, but yourself too. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It’s about freeing yourself from the chains of resentment and allowing space for peace and growth.

Surround yourself with warmth and support. Lean on those who uplift you, who remind you of your strength, and who offer you love without judgment. These connections can be a soothing balm for the soul.

Lastly, be patient with yourself. Healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have days when the past feels heavy again. Trust in your resilience and know that each day, you are growing stronger, finding new ways to hold your memories with tenderness rather than pain. You are worthy of peace, love, and joy in your present and future.

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1549 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 12, 2025Hindi
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What are possibilities of getting maintenance for a working woman (with a kid) from husband . My husband has abandoned us since birth of my daughter 4years. Not taking the child's responsibility. Husband says as I am earning I should take care of financial requirement of the child too. I am doing extra duties/ work just to take care of my daughter's education and future. As I am a healthcare professional my work consists of night duties. These duties are taking toll on my health and also my daughter's . People are saying as I am a working woman I can't claim maintenance from husband. But taking care of young child is more difficult with working. I just can't leave my job , just to show nil income to claim maintenance as no one is there to support me and my daughter. Hiring a nanny , maid etc along with rent comes around 85k per month apart from school expenses. As I live in metropolitan city. Husband earns more than me but transfers money to his mother's account.He has taken me granted financially since marriage.Not able to save anything for the future. Don't have any property on my name .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is a question for a legal expert; so go ahead and seek the guidance of someone who can handle your case. Along with this, you will have to think of a good balance that will allow for you to manage work and home plus your health.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi
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Hello sir, I am planning to buy a flat, with some stock sale proceeds and bank loan. Can I claim section 54F, for the entire registration amount for a flat, along with registration fee ? Or bank loan part is not considered
Ans: Eligibility for Section 54F
Section 54F provides capital gains exemption when selling assets like stocks.
You must invest the full net sale proceeds in a residential property.
The new flat must be purchased within two years or constructed within three years.
You should not own more than one residential house at the time of sale.
Treatment of Bank Loan Under Section 54F
Exemption applies only to the portion funded by stock sale proceeds.
The bank loan portion is not considered for exemption.
You need to invest the entire net sale proceeds to claim full exemption.
Registration Charges and Stamp Duty
Registration charges and stamp duty qualify as part of the property cost.
These expenses can be included for exemption under Section 54F.
However, only the part paid from capital gains is eligible.
Ensuring Full Exemption
If you reinvest only part of the net sale proceeds, the exemption is partial.
Any remaining capital gain will be taxed.
To avoid tax, the full capital gain amount must be reinvested.
Tax Implications If Conditions Are Not Met
If you sell the new property within three years, the exemption is reversed.
The capital gain becomes taxable in the year of sale.
Ensure compliance with all conditions to retain tax benefits.
Alternative Planning Strategies
If full reinvestment is not possible, consider capital gains bonds.
These bonds provide an alternative exemption under Section 54EC.
This helps in tax-efficient planning while keeping liquidity options open.
Final Insights
Section 54F helps save tax if proceeds are fully reinvested.
The bank loan portion does not qualify for exemption.
Registration costs can be included but only if paid from capital gains.
Ensure compliance to avoid future tax liabilities.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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