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Kanchan Rai |272 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Question by Harshita on Jun 10, 2024Hindi

i am an neet aspirant in class 11th and i want to take a single room on rent for preparation because i don't want any disturbance but my family is not allowing me to do so because i am a girl and i can't live alone in the rented room. Also they are not allowing me to join hostel too and at home i can't able to focus cuz of guests gathering and in this relation , my parents said that you have endure and live at home even my home doesn't have a separate room too for me. they said that we have a joint family and you can't say someone not to come home.I don't know what its really hard for me to prepare from home in so much distractions . I don't know what to do and i am really frustrated becz of this but they are not ready to listen becz they always thought that they are always correct . they never tried to understand me

Ans: Dear Harshita
Best of luck for your exams!

Balancing your preparation for such a demanding exam like NEET with the dynamics of living in a joint family can be incredibly tough, especially when you don’t have a quiet space to focus.

Your desire to have a dedicated and peaceful study environment is completely understandable, and it's frustrating when you feel your needs aren't being acknowledged. NEET preparation requires a lot of concentration and consistency, and it’s clear you’re trying to set yourself up for success by seeking a quiet place to study.

It seems your family’s concerns are rooted in traditional views about safety and the roles of girls, which can be a difficult barrier to navigate. They want to protect you, but their protective instincts are clashing with your need for independence and a conducive study environment. It's also challenging because their stance seems inflexible, leaving you feeling unheard and unsupported.

In situations like this, it can help to approach the conversation from a place of understanding. Try to express your needs calmly and clearly, showing that you understand their concerns but also need their support to achieve your goals. Perhaps you could propose a compromise, such as finding a nearby library or study center where you can go daily, which might address their safety concerns while providing you with the quiet space you need.

Another approach could be suggesting study times at home when the house is quieter, or discussing with family members the importance of creating a study-friendly environment for you. Sometimes, explaining how critical this phase is for your future might help them see the importance of supporting your study needs.

It's also essential to manage your frustration and stress levels. Finding small moments of peace, practicing relaxation techniques, or even reaching out to friends who are supportive can provide some emotional relief.

Remember, you’re striving for something significant, and your determination is commendable. Continue to seek ways to communicate effectively with your family and look for any potential middle ground that can help you focus on your studies while respecting their concerns.