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Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 29, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
SAI Question by SAI on Feb 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi My name is sai prasad aged 53 years and recently i attempted suicide and gracefully survieved. As my spouse is having suspection that I have illegal connection with other ladies, which I explained so many times that i do not have any illegal contacts. But recently she behaved in different manner and we both went to urology doctor to remove my genetic organs. But doctor has denied and told that it is illegal and it is not possible. From that instance she is behaving strangely and she forcefully made me to pour hot water on my genetic organ and in this instance my genetic organs has burnt little bit. Before that she has damaged my right hand with her bangle which I undergone for 5 stitches and it took more than 2 months to cure. Still my right hand is not in good condition. On 7th of this month i have consumed alprozalam 50 tables and later on i was there in ICU for 3 days and survived. But I am not happy with her. She morning to bed time she use to abuse me that you have illegal contacts and in this instance i am diverting my income to other women. Need suggestion on my case. Thanks. Sai Prasad

Ans: Dear Sai,
It is really unfortunate what you have been going through. What you are facing is abuse at home...
Please don not experiment with destroying your reproductive organs; the damage can be irreversible and worse you will be fighting a long infection caused by injuries.
If your wife suspects you; either she has her reasons OR she just is a person who cannot trust.
1. Firstly, move out of the house for a few weeks at least so that you can heal mentally and physically
2. If you feel that this marriage might work after all this drama, then kindly go for couples therapy and individual therapy as well
3. If you feel that things are over, proceed 'gracefully' through legal means

BUT do not allow this abuse to continue; the reason I suggested that you move out and not ask your wife to move out is, so that she does not turn the situation around and claim cruelty by you.
Take charge of yourself and NOW; your life is important and it counts. So, live and live 'gracefully'...I am sure your loved ones would want that!

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I have 28 + years of frustrated and abusive and absolutely unsatisfied marriage. It was arranged but involved bitterness from both sides. My father did my relationship because of temptation and so many false facts from the in -laws' side. I was not interested but due to family compulsions I couldn't resist. Somehow i feel sad that my father got trapped due to greed and always feel bad about him, my mother was illiterate and did not have much opinion on anything. It was full of falsehood and cheating. I am very simple and minimalist persons, just after marriage wife and inlaws started torturing me to breakaway from my parents, being alone son and with the help of sisters managed parents with lot of difficulties but thought time will heal. I was thinking of separation just after 6 months but somehow was in difficult shape, couldn't ask. Meanwhile Father in law died and i thought it's inhuman to give separation at this critical time and accepted my destiny, My wife was very clever and managed balanced relation till her brother and sister got settled and we decided to welcome kids and blessed with two sons but after all her responsibility over, she again showed same behavior rather more aggressive and color and i almost separated from parents. I am in Govt service and was threatened to file a false case, with all difficulties, managed with balancing, hiding something here and there. After the death of parents , things worsened and she is eying on all property of inheritance to be sold . I don't trust her at all , I want to give all to my sons and then quit. She always threatens , i want to be separated and live my old age peacefully alone without any property but all I want to give to my sons , not to her . Please suggest a way , I am afraid she can file a false domestic violence case or even to give me poison . I am very tense nowadays and my health is deteriorating.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Never live in fear because that can always be used by someone who is searching for an opportunity to meddle with your life.
Deal with this fear in two ways:
1. For fear of false case filing against you, kindly approach a lawyer who will guide you on how to protect your assets
2. For fear of the way your life is moving about in an unsettling manner, do work on it rather than fear it
- Separation or not, will have to be decided by you and your wife and make it as amicable as possible...
- If there are chances of reconciliation, do lay down some ground rules for both of you which includes deeper level of communication, deeper listening, trust building...

Most relationships sour over a period of time, because 'taking for granted' seeps in, there are unrealistic expectations for one another, children become an excuse for not spending enough time each other, family members somehow get into the equation which allows little room for the couple to understand one another...
the list goes on...
It simply means: Marriage is something that needs constant working on...it requires time, energy and effort...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I married 1year ago my wife told me she was forced to do a marriage against her concern and she didn't want the marriage life and wanted to live as strangers, also she refused to take wife responsibilities at home i have waited trusting she would change but within 3 months she had medical issues and went to her home for treatment. after informing all her activities now her father is threating me and my family, also making false allegations against me for all her problems. Now he is demanding to go separately from my parents to send her back. if not they will file case against me in the court and make me and my family suffer. Now she was not telling the truth with their parents about her mindset and acting according to their portents guidance that i am the reason for her medical issues and she was not interested in the marriage because i didn't take care of her well. she have depression and anxiety issues from childhood her mother refused to see her face when she was born, as 5th girl child as they expect atleast 1 boy kid she said this to a doctor. she faces refusal and ignorance in her family she said this too the doctor i dont know the truth behind it. she has chronic gastritis also she is under weight (35kgs still at 27years old) and cant increase weight even after trying for 5 years of medication. Doctor suggested for a therapy but she refused to come with because she already had therapy before which we don't know. . even though we lived in same house but she lived in separate room all the days she was with me. Now due to her inability to handle her father she is acting along with them like i was the one who refusing her. Her father even knows about all these matters to hide is fraud he is now threatening me like police case and court. I did nothing wrong in this except married her. what should i do now ?. And I lost hope that she would change here after.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are many cases like yours where men are being trapped with false allegations.
First evaluate:
Do I want this marriage to continue?
If YES, I feel it's time your parents also step in to state your side of the story. It will be an uphill task to bring her back as she clearly had mentioned to you that she was forced into this marriage. Also, how do you plan on working out the home situation given that the condition is that you separate from your parents?

If NO, will you be able to prove all the allegations put on you are false? Hire a good lawyer, because you will surely need one. Tread carefully and make very calculated moves in terms of what you say (even if it's on a text message) as everything can be held against you. Your lawyer will advise you on this.

So, time to think what is the best option...lay all the cards on the table and play this very carefully...

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Relationship
one of my friend who is married from past 14 years having 2 kids (elder son 12 and daughter 8)...he was out of home deputed to site on project work by company for more than 4 months. During this period he did not visit the home but regularly available on call and in touch with his w... when he returned to home his wife was behavior was not normal as like earlier ... later he found out that his wife got involve with her college friend during this period ..... and they had physical 01 time during this period... now my best friend he is very caring and not able to forget this betrayed act by his wife... after all this he is not able to concentrate and focus on his work.. he love his wife so much and want to forgive her but how to handle this situation in decent way... he is not willing to divorce or parting his ways... request you to suggest some way out to get out of situation and lead a normal life as like earlier
Ans: Dear Navya,
He loves her
He wants to forgive her
BUT
He is not able to forget what his wife has done
Sadly, both these work in opposite directions...
If he is willing to rebuild his marriage, he does not need to forget what his wife has done BUT he can work on how to process what she has done. This is difficult to do...but he will need to understand what happened, the reasons for it, if the wife is still interested in the marriage and if both are willing to work together towards the future. If this seems a bit difficult to work out by themselves, I suggest that they see an expert who can guide them aptly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2025Hindi
Relationship
hello mam, My son 19 year old from last 4 year his behavior change not listing not having food properly whole day watching mobile after 10th i put him diploma in electrical engineer he completed his 1 year but from 2nd year he stop going to college we both are working parent so nobody is there at home to force to go for college his teacher every day calling me to send him to college but he is not listing i ask him did teacher scold you or any student is troubling you he said no one is troubling me i don't want to study i want to do voice dubbing i want to give my voice for cartoon and for dubb movies in july 2025 he told me in 2028 i will leave both of you i have my dream i leave the home i ask him what is your dream he said 1st 2 dream i cant tell you but 3rd dream is to go to japan for tour i thought he is joking. In August 2025 he started going for voice dubbing classes in 1st week of August 2025 he told me my planning is change next month only i will leave both of you again i thought is just pulling my leg but on 15 September its regular Monday we both parent went for job and he called me around 12 pm and said daddy left the home not a single rupees he had with him and he left the home in full of rain he keep walking and talking to me i ask him where you are going but he said that's secrete i took his mom in conference and try convince him but he not listing with 1 hour talking with him on phone i ask him tell me the landmark where you are he told me one landmark while talking him i left office to reach the landmark he told i forcibly sit him in car and take back home with his mother after reaching home with his mother we are trying to convince don't do like this its your home we have only one child that is you but he said no today is the i want to go let me go don't fail my planning whole standing at home he said want to go without having water or food just crying and saying i want leave the home in evening at 7pm i told him give me three month i will send to japan for tour after hearing this he little bit convince but said repair my mobile which was shutdown due rain water get inside arrange visa and passport within three month and give new laptop for playing game but after three i will leave both of you and left the home in december 2025 he told me he will the home. he is very superstitious at home not having bath use same cloth he said if change cloth and have bath all my power will go after that incidence leaving home he become more superstitious each and every moment he whispering himself after asking why you doing this saying this is my power i will get what i want if i scold him he said i will leave home right now please help me what to do he not having bath not changing cloth not having afternoon food not cutting his nails from last 15 days i am very much in stress due to his behavior and stress about his future also he is not behaving like a normal child whole day and night watching mobile. Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Please take him to a professional who can evaluate him. There are a lot of gaps in what you haev shared and a professional will be able to ask the right questions and be of better guidance to your son and your family.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Money
Hi Vivek, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have built strong foundations early.
Many people reach forty without such assets.
You already reduced major future stress.
That itself gives you an advantage.

» Current Financial Snapshot
– You are 43 years old.
– You work in a private organisation.
– You own your house fully.
– You have no loans.
– This gives financial stability.

– Retirement focused savings already exist.
– Long term instruments form your base.
– Your money is spread across safety products.
– Liquidity is limited but acceptable.
– Growth exposure needs attention.

» Existing Investment Review
– Retirement related savings are meaningful.
– Mandatory savings have helped discipline.
– These instruments protect capital well.
– However growth potential is limited.
– Inflation risk exists over long periods.

– These assets suit long term security.
– They suit retirement stability well.
– They are not designed for high growth.
– Child goals need higher growth.
– Marriage expenses need liquidity planning.

» Child Education Time Horizon
– Your child is in 11th Science.
– Higher education expenses are near.
– Time available is limited.
– Risk capacity is lower here.
– Planning must be conservative.

– Education costs grow faster than inflation.
– Professional courses cost significantly more.
– Overseas options cost even higher.
– Partial funding support is important.
– Loans should be minimised.

» Child Marriage Planning Window
– Marriage expenses are medium term.
– You still have some time.
– Cultural expectations increase costs.
– Planning early reduces stress.
– This goal needs balance.

– Too much risk can hurt plans.
– Too little growth causes shortfall.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual shift towards safety helps.
– Liquidity must be ensured.

» Retirement Planning Horizon
– Retirement is long term.
– You have nearly two decades.
– This allows growth oriented approach.
– Inflation is biggest risk here.
– Passive savings alone will not suffice.

– Retirement expenses last many years.
– Healthcare costs rise sharply later.
– Regular income post retirement matters.
– Corpus must be inflation protected.
– Growth assets become essential.

» Understanding Rs 80 Lac Requirement
– Rs 80 Lac is a combined target.
– All goals have different timelines.
– One strategy will not suit all.
– Segmentation is essential.
– This avoids misallocation.

– Education needs immediate planning.
– Marriage needs medium planning.
– Retirement needs long term planning.
– Each goal must be ring-fenced.
– Mixing goals creates confusion.

» Asset Allocation Importance
– Asset allocation drives outcomes.
– Not product selection alone.
– Time horizon decides allocation.
– Risk appetite decides allocation.
– Discipline maintains allocation.

– Safety instruments protect capital.
– Growth instruments fight inflation.
– Balance avoids emotional mistakes.
– Rebalancing keeps strategy aligned.
– This is a continuous process.

» Role Of Equity Exposure
– Equity creates long term wealth.
– Equity is volatile short term.
– Time reduces equity risk.
– Retirement horizon suits equity.
– Education horizon needs limited equity.

– Selective equity exposure is essential.
– Quality matters more than quantity.
– Active management adds value.
– Market cycles require judgment.
– Discipline ensures success.

» Why Not Depend Only On Safe Instruments
– Safe instruments give predictable returns.
– They struggle to beat inflation.
– Purchasing power erodes slowly.
– Long term goals suffer silently.
– Growth becomes insufficient.

– Your current assets are safety heavy.
– Growth allocation needs improvement.
– This change should be gradual.
– Sudden shifts create stress.
– Planned transition works better.

» Education Goal Strategy
– Use conservative growth approach.
– Capital protection is priority.
– Avoid aggressive exposure now.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual de-risking is necessary.

– Education funding should be ready.
– Avoid dependency on future income.
– Avoid last minute borrowing.
– Keep funds accessible.
– Liquidity is key.

» Marriage Goal Strategy
– Marriage expenses are emotional.
– Costs are difficult to predict.
– Planning gives confidence.
– Balanced approach is ideal.
– Growth plus safety mix works.

– Start allocating gradually.
– Increase safety closer to event.
– Avoid locking money long term.
– Keep flexibility.
– Avoid speculation.

» Retirement Goal Strategy
– Retirement planning needs growth focus.
– Inflation is the silent enemy.
– Long horizon allows equity.
– Volatility should be accepted.
– Discipline ensures compounding.

– Retirement corpus must grow faster.
– Contributions should increase with income.
– Lifestyle expectations must be realistic.
– Healthcare buffer is essential.
– Regular review is necessary.

» Role Of Active Funds
– Markets do not move uniformly.
– Sectors rotate frequently.
– Index funds stay static.
– They reflect index weaknesses.
– Active funds adapt better.

– Active managers adjust allocations.
– They reduce exposure in weak sectors.
– They increase exposure in growth areas.
– This helps during volatility.
– Especially for long term goals.

» Why Avoid Index Based Approach
– Index funds mirror market direction.
– They cannot protect downside.
– They remain exposed during corrections.
– Investors feel helpless.
– Returns stay average.

– Active strategies aim to outperform.
– They manage risk dynamically.
– They suit Indian market inefficiencies.
– Skilled management adds value.
– This matters over decades.

» Regular Investing Route Benefits
– Regular route offers guidance.
– Behaviour management is critical.
– Panic decisions destroy returns.
– Professional handholding matters.
– Especially during volatile phases.

– Certified Financial Planner helps discipline.
– Goal tracking becomes structured.
– Portfolio review becomes systematic.
– Emotional bias reduces.
– Long term success improves.

» Liquidity Planning
– Emergency funds are essential.
– You currently have limited liquidity.
– One year expenses should be accessible.
– This avoids distress selling.
– It protects long term investments.

– Emergency planning gives peace.
– Unexpected events do not derail plans.
– This should be built gradually.
– Avoid using retirement savings.
– Keep it separate.

» Insurance As Risk Management
– Insurance protects your plan.
– It is not an investment.
– Adequate life cover is essential.
– Health cover avoids financial shock.
– Premiums are necessary expenses.

– Delaying insurance increases risk.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Employer cover is insufficient.
– Family protection is priority.
– This secures your goals.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Tax planning should support goals.
– Avoid tax driven decisions alone.
– Post tax returns matter.
– Simplicity reduces mistakes.
– Compliance avoids future stress.

– Long term equity taxation is favourable.
– Short term churn increases tax.
– Stability helps efficiency.
– Avoid frequent switching.
– Stay disciplined.

» Monitoring And Review Process
– Plans are not static.
– Life changes require adjustment.
– Income growth allows higher contribution.
– Goals may change.
– Reviews keep relevance.

– Annual review is sufficient.
– Avoid daily market tracking.
– Focus on progress.
– Ignore noise.
– Stick to strategy.

» Behavioural Discipline
– Emotions affect investment outcomes.
– Fear causes premature exit.
– Greed causes overexposure.
– Discipline balances both.
– Guidance helps immensely.

– Long term wealth needs patience.
– Short term market moves mislead.
– Consistency beats timing.
– Process beats prediction.
– Stay calm.

» Aligning Goals With Reality
– Rs 80 Lac goal is achievable.
– Planning must be realistic.
– Income growth will support it.
– Lifestyle control helps savings.
– Early planning reduces pressure.

– You already started well.
– Course correction is timely.
– Delay would increase burden.
– Action now simplifies future.
– Confidence improves.

» Family Communication
– Discuss goals with family.
– Shared understanding reduces conflict.
– Expectations become realistic.
– Decisions gain support.
– Stress reduces significantly.

– Financial planning is family planning.
– Transparency builds trust.
– It improves discipline.
– Everyone works towards goals.
– Harmony improves.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
– Risk capacity is strong for retirement.
– Risk appetite may vary emotionally.
– Planning must respect both.
– Overexposure creates anxiety.
– Underexposure creates regret.

– Balance is the answer.
– Gradual allocation changes work best.
– Avoid extreme decisions.
– Stay flexible.
– Stay focused.

» Final Insights
– You have built a strong base.
– Assets are safe but growth limited.
– Goals need segmented planning.
– Education needs conservative strategy.
– Marriage needs balanced approach.
– Retirement needs growth focus.
– Active management adds value.
– Regular guidance supports discipline.
– Insurance protects the plan.
– Liquidity avoids stress.
– Review keeps alignment.
– Patience creates results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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