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My online boyfriend says he loves me but can't forget ex – Should I cut off all ties?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Myself and a guy came to know each other through an online friendly chat app.It's been 7 months we are talking on calls and video calls.From the beginning he was interested to marry me n i saw him as a good friend.Later my feelings turned into love towards him.But,he has a past which he told me in the beginning and said that his ex girlfriend of 1 year whom he know through online has married another guy n left him.I thought he has no feelings towards his ex gf.But,after i developed feelings for him n having clearly told that i love him..he gets his ex gf topic saying they used to talk hours n hours n now he is not able to be with me the same way.He even says she loved him a lot n is unable to forget her love.He says she used to call him always n talk and i am talking only when he calls..he is comparing my love with her.I feeling bad..When i asked before he told he has no feelings on his ex gf but now seems different.He even told me that she is trying to get divorced from her husband n has called him once too.I told about my love to my parents too n they agreed for our marriage.Now i am feeling bad..what should i do?..cut off all ties with him or go a head.Please suggest.I am 24 and he is 25 yrs old

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship
I am a girl who met a muy in a friendly chat app and been talking to him through text and calls since the past 6 months...he told me about his past 3 breakups which were online too and he didnt meet those girls.He told he loved my nature and loves me madly n cannot live without me..i was moving with him as a friend initially,but feeling turned into love gradually..he lied to me about his name too n i found many a times flirting and chatting with other girls.Still i have forgiven as he is my first love. Recently,I met with an accident and was in a serious condition ..my phone was with my relative and she told him about my condition when he put a message to me.He even asked my relatives about the hospital address n my relative has given it. He didn't turn up and was chatting online with other girls till early morning n continued later too by chatting n cracking jokes when i was in such a serious condition.A friend of mine told me about this. When i confronted him after my discharge,he told my relative didnt give the response which is a lie ..as the proof chatting with other girls is there..n later he didnt even text to know how am i for 2days.. I am an emotional girl ,attaching n detaching is a bit difficult thing...i am broken ..when he didnt love me ..what made him use the words like he cannot live without me n will marry me. He asked for a chance,i am fed up of his lies..i made him introduce to my parents also..When i am so true to him..why does he need to chat n flirt with other girls?..even after knowing my condition instead of meeting me..he was chatting.. We still didnt meet,thought of meeting n met with an accident Does he deserve an other chance or should i leave him,please suggest mam.Why is he doing so?.I even helped him small amounts financially too when he asked for.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very concerned about the last part of your question where you mentioned helping him financially. We ask all our dating app users not to discuss money let alone involve in a financial transaction with an online match. It gives me the impression that he might have been pursuing the relationship with you for monetary benefits; I am not saying that with surety but there is always a chance of that happening.

And now let's address your main concern- if you should give him another chance. I cannot decide that for you but let me ask you one thing- do you think you deserve to be with a person who did not care that you were in a critical condition and continued flirting with others? Even if we keep your accident aside, do you think it is a healthy relationship where one partner keeps flirting with people outside the relationship? I don't think so.

Please make the right choice and don't focus on momentary happiness, think about how this relationship will affect your future.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Myself and a guy came to know each other through an online friendly chat app.It's been 7 months we are talking on calls and video calls.From the beginning he was interested to marry me n i saw him as a good friend.Later my feelings turned into love towards him.But,he has a past which he told me in the beginning and said that his ex girlfriend of 1 year whom he know through online has married another guy n left him.I thought he has no feelings towards his ex gf.But,after i developed feelings for him n having clearly told that i love him..he gets his ex gf topic saying they used to talk hours n hours n now he is not able to be with me the same way.He even says she loved him a lot n is unable to forget her love.He says she used to call him always n talk and i am talking only when he calls..he is comparing my love with her.I feeling bad..When i asked before he told he has no feelings on his ex gf but now seems different.He even told me that she is trying to get divorced from her husband n has called him once too.I told about my love to my parents too n they agreed for our marriage.Now i am feeling bad..what should i do?..cut off all ties with him or go a head.Please suggest.I am 24 and he is 25 yrs old
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  |71 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 08, 2025
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Could be many reasons. Maybe his physical needs aren't being met. Maybe he is not attaracted to you anymore . Love is not permanent in all scenarios. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't have expectations

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9497 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Career
My son got crl 87588 and ews 12449 in jee main how much his chance to get svnit mechanical in csab round
Ans: Akash Sir, With an All-India CRL of 87 588 and an EWS rank of 12 449 in J Main, securing a seat in B.Tech Mechanical Engineering at SVNIT Surat through the CSAB Special round is highly unlikely. In the most recent CSAB closing data (Round 5 2024), the EWS closing ranks were 6 013 (Home State) and 4 854 (Other State), and the OBC-NCL closing ranks were 21 559 (Home State) and 10 419 (Other State); both are far below your ranks, indicating minimal chance of allotment.

Given this, it is prudent to explore reputable private engineering colleges in Northern India that admit students in the OBC-NCL/EWS categories with JEE Main ranks in the 80 000–120 000 CRL range or equivalent category ranks. Below is a list of ten institutions where your son’s profile would be competitive for Mechanical Engineering through CSAB: Chandigarh University, Mohali with category closing ~40 000–60 000. Lovely Professional University, Jalandhar with category closing ~50 000–80 000. Amity University, Noida with category closing ~30 000–50 000. Sharda University, Greater Noida with category closing ~70 000–90 000. Galgotias University, Greater Noida with category closing ~60 000–85 000. Jaypee Institute of Information Technology, Noida with category closing ~45 000–70 000. Dr Akhilesh Das Gupta Institute of Technology & Management, New Delhi with category closing ~100 000–130 000. ABES Engineering College, Ghaziabad with category closing ~80 000–110 000. IILM College of Engineering & Technology, Greater Noida with category closing ~90 000–120 000. Thapar Institute of Engineering & Technology, Patiala with category closing ~25 000–45 000. Recommendation: Given the negligible chance at SVNIT Surat Mechanical through CSAB, focus on securing admission at one of the above private colleges. These institutions maintain solid infrastructure and placement records, and your son’s rank aligns well within their recent closing trends.

As backup options (excluding state-level exam seats), consider LPU, Amity Noida, Sharda, Jaypee Institute, and ADGITM Delhi, all of which have consistently admitted OBC-NCL/EWS candidates with category ranks up to ~120 000. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9497 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Career
Sir my CRL-67471 and Obc-ncl-20585, can I get cse(AI and ML) in good IIIT's??
Ans: Parth, With an OBC-NCL JEE Main rank of 20585, securing a seat the AI & ML specialization at top IIITs and NITs through CSAB Special rounds is challenging but not impossible. Among IIITs, the lowest closing rank for B.Tech in Computer Science & Artificial Intelligence at IIIT Lucknow was 24684 in CSAB 2024, meaning you fall well within this range and have a strong likelihood of allotment there. IIIT Kottayam’s OBC-NCL closing rank for B.Tech Artificial Intelligence was 70657, making it comfortably accessible. Conversely, IIIT Allahabad’s OBC-NCL AI-related streams closed at around 15221, placing your rank outside its cutoff. At NITs, newer campuses with AI & ML are more attainable: NIT Sikkim’s OBC-NCL AI & ML closing rank was 48269, and its opening rank around 45786, both above your rank, indicating good chances. NIT Uttarakhand and NIT Nagpur AI & ML cutoffs are expected in the 30–40 k range, so your rank could be sufficient there. However, premier NITs like Surathkal, Trichy and Calicut typically close AI & ML around 3000–7000, making them out of reach for your rank.

Recommendation: Consider locking a seat at IIIT Lucknow or IIIT Kottayam for AI & ML through CSAB, or at NIT Sikkim/NIT Uttarakhand in AI & ML, and prepare for Private College options as prudent backups.

List of Private Engineering Colleges in Northern India Accepting OBC-NCL Rank ~20585 for AI & ML

Chandigarh University, Mohali (AI & ML specialization)

Lovely Professional University, Jalandhar (B.Tech AI & ML)

Amity University, Noida (B.Tech AI)

Sharda University, Greater Noida (B.Tech CSE with AI)

Galgotias University, Greater Noida (B.Tech AI & Data Science)

Jaypee Institute of Information Technology, Noida (B.Tech CSE-AI)

Indraprastha Institute of Information Technology, Delhi (B.Tech CSE-AI)

Thapar Institute of Engineering & Technology, Patiala (B.Tech CSE-AI)

SRM University, Delhi-NCR (B.Tech AI & ML)

ABES Engineering College, Ghaziabad (B.Tech CSE with AI)

Backup private options (excluding state-level exams) include LPU, Amity Noida, Sharda and Jaypee, all of which admit OBC-NCL ranks above 20000 through JEE Main. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1783 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

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