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I struggle to provide for my family. My wife is angry. How can I cope?

Anu Krishna |1186 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Meri sadi ko 13 saal ho gaye mere 3 bachche h my son 11 year,and 6 year and my daughter is 3 month ke h. Meri aarthik isthiti tik nahi h.likin kaise b ho ghar chal raha h kabhi kabhi aisa lagata h.ki main apni pariwar ki sabhi jarurat ko pura nahi kar pa raha hu.meri wife kabhi kabhi mujhse ghusse me (Teri aukad nahi h.ghar chalane ki) bolti h.main bahut haert ho jata ho. Or thoda gilti feel hota.h.main kaise manage karu.pls reply

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Logon ka kya hai...taane maarne mein maahir hote hain...Jitna aap nazarandaaz karoge utna hi aap shantipoorvak jee sakte hain...yahaan par aapki patni bhi shaamil hain...kya karein? Agar unke nazariye se dekhe toh unki taraf se woh galat nahin hai...aaj kal TV aur internet hume yeh ehsaas dilaata rehta hai ki jitna bhi ho woh kam hi hai...
Tassalli ke liye aap yeh soche ki unko chamkeeli duniya dikhti hai aapki pareshaani nahin...

Ghar ke saamaanya zarooraton ko aap pehla poora karein aur agar aapke paas kuch samay bachta hai din mein ya shanivaar aur ravivaar ko aap ghar se hi computer pe tuition/coaching kar sakte hain. Aaj kal yeh ek accha zariya ban gaya hai extra paisa kamaane ke liye...Free waqt ka sahi upyog kijiye. Jab aapko lage ki ghar ki stithi theek hone lagi hain, tab aap kabhi bhi yeh karna band kar sakte hain...Guilty hona ya na hona, yeh aap pe nirbhar hota hai...aapne kiya kya hai ki guilty feel karne ke liye...jitna aapse ban pad raha hai aap kar rahe ho...aapki patni ki baaton ka bura mat maaniye...woh toh sirf apne khayaal aapke saamne rakh rahi hain aapko tok ke...par jab aap jaante hain ki aap sacche mann se jitna ho raha hai kar rahe ho, toh sukoon se rahiye...bas extra income ka zariye dhoondhiye...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Hello madam I want to be anonymous.i had told you my story and asked for your advice nearly 6 -7 months back from the same email through which I am contacting you.i don't know whether you replied or not.if ever you replied please send it to my email

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All questions directed towards me will always be answered by me. There is no option of sending the response by email as this platform is a direct interface between readers and the Gurus.
It might be useful for you to check your email for a notification on the response. In case, you still face a challenge, kindly post your question again.

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Hi Madam. I am married from last one and half years now, there has been numerous fights in between small and big ones both. In between this time I have become a mother, and, my baby is 7 months old now. My husband does nothing, did nothing in past one and half years. He is only occupied with his work all the time, he goes to office everyday mostly. Right now my baby is 7 months old and from last 7 months me and my parents are taking care of the baby. And, he absolutely shows no understanding when it comes to looking after the baby. Am also a working person. Moreover I pay all the bills when it comes to getting household stuff, paying rent, all the expenses related to baby. He is so shameless that he just doesn’t care too, when I pick these topics or raise concerns about handling the baby he gets abusive. I am not sure what to do now! How insensible can a person get if no one sees my husband would never feel that person like him exist in this world. I feel like filing a divorce petition now. He was the one who wanted to have baby so soon. I was never ready. Now when I have the baby I am the only person along with my parents and sister looking after the baby.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your husband wants a family without responsibilities and that's why neither is he interested in the baby nor in paying the bills...This is not just insensitivity but lack of emotional immaturity and the unwillingness to take on responsibilities head on...Approach a senior male member within the family who is someone that has been a role model to others in terms executing family responsibilities and is also caring and affectionate. This person can appeal to your husband and talk some sense into him.

If there's no one that fits the bill, the only option is to go to a professional for Couples Therapy. There's a reason why your husband avoids his duties as a husband and father and that needs to be uncovered and sorted out. It will also help the two of bond and connect better. Make this attempt before jumping into divorce; separating is a whole different world that comes with its own set of challenges and with the baby now in the picture, work at the marriage and putting things together.

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