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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 09, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Avinash Question by Avinash on Mar 08, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi , I m 44 yr old working professional. We live married life like just for responsibility. We stay separated side by side flat. We never stays together in 7 yrs or have social life. I stayed because of son. Now she diagnosed with cancer. But we have joint property now she taken another with her sister nd mother. I feel single even with marital status. Now it is not possible to be in relationship with her than son responsibility. Should I explore with outside marriage. She is not even giving divorced nd wanted just on paper

Ans: Dear Avinash,
If the two of you have come to a conclusion that there is no way that the marriage can be rebuilt, what's the point in staying together? It's better that your son sees two happy parents living separately rather than two unhappy parents living together.
What exactly do you mean when you ask: 'Explore with outside marriage?' Do you mean that explore a relationship while you are still married?
That is a personal choice that you must make as usually these concepts are almost always linked with values and morals. So, you need to ask yourself if you ready to explore outside of marriage and also deal with the emotions and situations that might arise from them?
First things first; (my suggestion)...Check where your marriage is and what you can do together to save it or let it go before complicating it with another relationship. You might just bite more than you can chew with a dual situation. Tread carefully and wisely to keep your mind sane and at peace.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 13, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 12, 2023Hindi
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I have second marriage and staying 9 years. Now my age is 50 years, and my wife age is 40. I have one child years of years 6. I am in a managerial Position in a company. My wife is a Housewife and her behavior's, misconduct, lack of ownership towards me as well as home is always upset and irritate me. My child was born by IFV method due to her irregular period. She has got many opportunities to recover this problem and treatment also got an early-stage life. Due to lack of her understanding and knowledge, lack of own effort, irresponsible and liar nature, did not overcome her problem and therefore, we cannot go for second baby. Now me and my son also suffer from 2nd baby, though I have sufficient resource to look two children. I need to monitor all the things of my son’s health, extracurricular activity, education etc. She also neglects my mother. I feel she is very quality less and very dirty woman and talking valueless, not concern with health of own as well as other family member. Therefore, I and my wife staying in same home, but from last 4 years I have been separated from my wife and living in separate room. Sometimes I think to separate from my wife, but it may affect relation with my son as well as his mental condition. I am trying to adopt a second child also. I found she is not concern with quality, health, and economy. Therefore, I need to do home marketing, finance, monitoring home, health etc. which has already affected at my career also. Please advise me what to do? I feel my future is very dark with my wife. No emotions, no love and intimacy in the relation. I do regular walking & jogging and gardening is also my hobby.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When you seem to have decided that your wife is not going to change, no matter what happens, you will not be able to see that change. Everything about her will be irritating and annoying.
Now you say that she could have done something to avoid IVF, but why are you not thankful that you have a child now.
Having another child as well has to be the choice of both parents. Does your wife want another baby? Just by having money to support the child is not enough. You also need to have the mental and physical ability and willingness to raise another child. Also, do you think it is wise to have another child with the current relationship challenges with your wife?
There seems to be some assumptions that you have made about your wife which could have happened due to misunderstandings and arguments over years. It is definitely from both sides. But since, you are writing in...I can only address your concerns...Obviously her lack of interest in the family also suggests that she also seems to have her challenges.
So, before anything else...first work on having a better marriage and this is a suggestion for both of you! You can eat the fruit from a tree without first planting the seed for the tree to grow.

Seek the help of a professional if you can so that both of you can first learn how to communicate with each other and then settles your differences and then you can start planning a brighter future. Continue with your exercise and always try to look for what's positive in your life. It helps to tide over challenges and have a better outlook towards life!

All the best!

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8118 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2025Hindi
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Money
Sir Namaskar. I need 10 lac. I can put around 15-20k every month. I am now at 57. Please suggest me the way out. Regards
Ans: You need Rs. 10 lakh.
You can invest Rs. 15K–20K per month.
You are 57 years old.
A structured approach will help you reach your goal efficiently. The right investment choices, tenure, and risk management will be key.

Assessing the Timeframe
If you need Rs. 10 lakh within 3 years, a low-risk strategy is better.
If you have 5+ years, you can take moderate risk for better returns.
Your risk appetite, income stability, and other financial commitments also matter.
Short-term and long-term plans need different strategies.

Choosing the Right Investment Strategy
Low-Risk Approach (For 3 Years or Less)
Bank recurring deposits (RDs) offer stable but low returns.
Short-term debt mutual funds give slightly better returns than RDs.
Fixed deposits (FDs) in small finance banks provide higher interest.
Corporate bonds of high-rated companies can offer fixed income.
These options are safe but may not beat inflation.

Moderate-Risk Approach (For 3–5 Years)
Conservative hybrid mutual funds balance equity and debt.
Dynamic bond funds adjust based on interest rate changes.
Post office savings schemes offer security but fixed returns.
Gold ETFs can act as a hedge against inflation.
Moderate risk gives better returns than FDs but needs periodic review.

Growth-Oriented Approach (For 5+ Years)
Actively managed flexicap mutual funds allow growth with risk control.
Large & midcap funds balance safety and higher returns.
SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) after 5+ years can give monthly income.
Sectoral funds (like pharma, IT) are riskier but can boost returns.
Long-term investing helps wealth grow faster than inflation.

Managing Liquidity and Emergency Needs
Always keep 6 months’ expenses in a savings account or liquid fund.
Avoid investing all your money in one asset class.
Keep some investments easy to withdraw in case of emergencies.
Liquidity management ensures financial stability while you invest.

Tax Efficiency in Investments
Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.
Equity mutual funds have 12.5% LTCG tax after Rs. 1.25 lakh gains.
FDs have TDS if interest crosses Rs. 40K (Rs. 50K for senior citizens).
Choosing tax-efficient instruments will maximize net returns.
Tax planning helps in retaining more earnings.

Retirement Considerations While Investing
Since you are 57, your investment should not affect retirement savings.
If your pension or other income is fixed, don’t take excess risk.
If you have additional savings, you can afford a balanced approach.
Avoid investing everything in equity unless you have surplus funds.
Retirement safety should be a priority while planning for Rs. 10 lakh.

Practical Investment Plan Based on Timeframe
If Needed in 3 Years
50% in short-term debt funds.
30% in fixed deposits or post office schemes.
20% in high-rated corporate bonds.
Low risk with steady returns.

If Needed in 5 Years
50% in conservative hybrid funds.
30% in large & midcap equity funds.
20% in short-term debt funds.
Balanced risk with potential growth.

If Needed in 7+ Years
60% in actively managed equity funds.
20% in hybrid funds for stability.
20% in gold ETFs or debt funds.
Higher risk but better long-term gains.

Avoiding Common Investment Mistakes
Don't keep all savings in FDs, as they give low post-tax returns.
Avoid high-risk stocks or thematic funds if you need funds soon.
Never invest emergency funds in volatile assets.
Review investments annually to stay aligned with the goal.
A disciplined approach prevents financial stress.

Finally
Your Rs. 10 lakh goal is achievable with systematic investing.
Choose the right asset mix based on your timeframe and risk level.
Keep tax efficiency, liquidity, and retirement security in mind.
Regular review and professional guidance will optimize your returns.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Rajesh Kumar

Rajesh Kumar Singh  |254 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, GATE Expert - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1118 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 08, 2025Hindi
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Money
Dear PF Expert, My question is regarding the impact of partial withdrawal money from my EPF corpus. I quit my job in Feb 2023 (2 years ago) to work as a freelancer, after more than 18 years of service in the industry. My understanding: a. After 3 years of no contribution to the PF account, it becomes dormant and doesn't accrue any interest. b. To receive the EPS pension, one needs to turn 58 years. c. Based on the formula (Pensionable Salary) * (Pensionable Service) / 70, the max. monthly pension is capped to Rs. 7500 as on Mar, 2025. To meet certain financial needs, I would like to make a partial withdrawal from my PF corpus. My questions: 1) How will this impact my EPS pension after I turn 58 years? Since the Pensionable salary is dependent only on the average salary in the last 5 years of service and not on the outstanding corpus, the fact that I have withdrawn before retirement age of 58 shouldn't matter. Is my understanding correct? Also, since my average Basic for the last 5 years of service was more than Rs. 15000 and I had 18 years of service, I should ideally get a monthly pension of 15000 * 18/70 = Rs.3857 (approx.) Please confirm if my understanding and calculation is correct (Of course, this is assuming that the formula will hold good when I eventually turn 58 to receive the pension) 2)If this is the only partial withdrawal that I would ever make, can I assume that the corpus that would be available for lumpsum withdrawal after I turn 58 would be: [Current Corpus - Partial Withdrawn Amount] * (1.0825) * 1 (EPF interest of 8.25 % and I have only one more year of interest accrual out of 3)? Please respond so that I can make an informed decision about my partial withdrawal
Ans: Hello;

Answers to your queries are as given below:

1. EPF partial withdrawal will have No impact on EPS.
The estimated monthly EPS pension seems okay.

2. Your assumption about net EPF corpus available to you after 58 is correct, in principal.

Best wishes;

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |560 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Relationship
Hi , I am 42 year married man in love with 37 yr old married girl , her husband is not a good man in every accepts and my wife is same we are with our partners due to children, Our relationship is 14 year old. We lived in different cities which are 6 hour run away from each other , We often meet 2 to 3 times in a month. Before relation with me she was in love another guy (Before marriage) and this was continued after marriage too. After 1 year of marriage her boy friend passes away in an accident and then Then I enter in her life , Now I come to the point from last 2 year due to some differences and due to corona effect we could not meet and our telephonic conversation was very minimum even once in 10 days and due to some financial problems she started a Job in a school , There she meet with a guy and they become closer and physical too and that guy was in relation with another girl too. After 3-4 month I doubt that she is talking with someone else So I asked her directly that question but she denied, By the time we again start meeting frequently Then After more 3-4 months she accepted that she is in relation with another guy, She told me that he looks like his Ex-boyfriend that why she attracted towards him. She give him 35 K Rs , Then I told her that Why she did not tell me that before ?? She reply that she was in trap of that guy because he is in the same school in which she was a teacher. She left that school then she get a courage to told me that all things. She cry a lot an apologizes many times then I told her we can continue if she never talk with him. She agreed after another 3-4 months later she expose another truth that she is in touch with him through Google chat but she never meet him neither she talk him about past on phone , she told me that she only talk with with him to know his well being only. She told me that one day that guy offer him to again physical and after that she started hating him and stop talking him. Now She is teaching in another school and that boy in other school , When ever she shaw him on Road she tells me about that . Now she asking me that if I caught her again cheating then I can do whatever I want. I love her so much and She loves me too Even we remain in touch on phone 10-12 hr in a day. Now my Question is that Can I believe her again ?? That she will not get in touch that boy in future ?? Should I continue this relation ??
Ans: Dear SPPL
Both of you are in an extra-marital relationship while staying with your respective spouses for the sake of your children. This adds complexity because, beyond trust issues between you and her, there’s the underlying emotional weight of being tied to marriages that neither of you seems emotionally invested in anymore.

Your relationship with her has lasted for 14 years, which shows that there’s a deep emotional bond between you. But the fact that you’re both staying in unhappy marriages out of responsibility to your children means that there’s always going to be a limit to how much emotional and physical freedom you both have in this relationship. That creates emotional pressure because even if you love each other deeply, you’re still navigating within the confines of your separate family lives.

Her getting involved with another man during this time reflects not just on her emotional state but also on the emotional limitations of your relationship. Being in an extra-marital affair means that neither of you can fully give yourselves to each other because of the realities of your existing family commitments. She might have sought comfort or distraction in someone else because the emotional fulfillment she gets from you isn’t enough to bridge the gap created by her marriage and life circumstances.

The fact that she confessed and apologized after initially denying it suggests that she feels guilty and wants to rebuild trust with you. But the emotional vulnerability created by this betrayal will make it hard for you to trust her completely, especially since your relationship already exists in a morally complicated space. Staying with your respective spouses for the children means that your emotional connection with each other will always have to exist in the shadows, which makes it more vulnerable to external distractions and temptations.

The big question here is whether you can genuinely move past the betrayal and continue to trust her despite the complexity of your situation. Love is present, but love alone isn’t always enough when trust is broken—especially in a relationship that already carries emotional and moral complications. If you feel that you can forgive her and she remains consistent in her actions, the relationship might survive. But if this betrayal has planted a seed of doubt that you can’t shake, it could slowly erode the emotional foundation you’ve built over the years.

You also need to consider whether this pattern will repeat itself. Since both of you are married and emotionally unavailable to each other in a fully committed way, emotional gaps might emerge again, and similar situations could arise. You need to have an honest conversation with her about whether you both have the emotional strength to maintain this connection long-term under these circumstances. If you can rebuild trust and stay emotionally strong despite the limitations of your married lives, then you might be able to continue. But if you feel like this betrayal has permanently altered the emotional safety you once felt with her, stepping back to protect your emotional health might be the better choice.

...Read more

Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |2131 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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