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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Bhuvnesh Question by Bhuvnesh on Apr 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Dear love guru mai ek talakshuda mahila se social media par mila Mai bhi talakshuda hu thode din ki chatting ke bad humne aapas me apne number bhi exchange kar liye hume chat karte hue almost one month ho Gaya hai or Humne aapas me kai photos bhi share kiye hai (not intimate) ek din bato bato me unhone mujhse kaha ki i got a crush on you mai bi unko pasand karne laga hu or unhone ye bhi kaha ki wo ab relationship me aan chahti hai par unhe ab Tak koi Mila nai unhone mujhe apne bare me kafi kuch bataya nai unke sath relationship me aana chahta hu par mujhe samajh nai aata ke kaise kahu dar hai ki kahin wo bura na Maan Jaye so please help me mai unko apne Dil ki baat kaise bataun kaha se shuruwat Karu pls help me. thanks and regards

Ans: Saaf saaf bataa do ki aap bhi interested hai, lekin thodi aur pehchan ke baad. Koi ek mahina chat karke relationship nahin shuru karta. Ek doosre se milo, date pe jao, in-person baat karo aur phir dekho.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 07, 2022

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Dear love guru, Hope u are doing well.  This story starts in 2018 when I was in my 12th. I had a huge crush on this junior girl. This girl is very intelligent and she used to get very high marks. So I took that as an inspiration and started working very hard on my academics. I started to read like a maniac and that worked and I got seat in a very prestigious college hoping she would get the seat in the same college but unfortunately she got seat in other state. I was disappointed. I was shy and never talked to her in my 12th and thought I lost my chance of talking to her ever again. But fortunately after a year, I found her insta and mustered my courage to chat with her.  Although it was awkward initially, we became good friends (I guess so) and used to chat almost daily. She is really a charmer and she chats so nicely. She is a great friend but I never had courage to say about my feelings. She used to talk about her friends, her new college and her cats and so many things about herself and as I am her senior, I used to guide her and talk about my daily experiences. We had great time talking to each other on insta, WhatsApp and even snapchat. Heck we have a Spotify playlist Collab and she even included me in her private Instagram account as a close friend (u know that girls do have spam accounts for close friends) and I was wondering whether I'm just another friend or close friend or anything more.  This continued like for many months and we chatted very well in the lockdown. I never met her or called her, we just chatted( I'm a shy guy and not so good at talking to girls). Feelings aside, she became a really good friend to me and I don't have many friends. I never said her about my feelings, fearing it would destroy this great friendship I was having. But recently she was not responding properly to my chats( I never misbehaved in the chat ). I do believe she is seeing a guy whom she met recently but I don't know whether that is a relationship or just friendship.  I was disappointed but hey it's her life and I was u know just continuing my life feeling sad sometimes or just trying to forget about her. And recently she completely avoided my messages and I was so hurt(I do have some self-respect right). U could say this as a one side love story. But this is so hard. After all she is my first love and this started affecting my academics. Should I move on or should I just continue trying to talk to her so that hopefully she will talk to me like she used to before. I don't have any problem continuing but sometimes I feel what's the purpose since it is going nowhere.  Please give me any valuable suggestion. Sorry for the long story Thank you  
Ans:

You've enjoyed a mainly online relationship; there's a lot more to things than that.

There is definitely a reason why she's not responding to your messages anymore and it could be anything -- maybe you came on too strong, maybe she's met someone else, maybe her new boyfriend is from the Stone Age and doesn't like her interacting with other male friends.

I would suggest writing her one last message to the effect that you miss your friend, you don't know why she has begun avoiding you and, at the very least, if she wants to discontinue contact she should have the courtesy of letting you know that, along with the reason why.

See if she responds.

If she doesn't, take that as a very strong and clear signal in itself that she wants nothing to do with you anymore and doesn't have manners either. In which case I would strongly suggest you cease all contact as well.

If she does show some courtesy and reply, see if what she has to say can be addressed.

And all things considered, don't be too heartbroken about this. There are many great girls out there for you to start anew with -- in person perhaps, this time around!

 

(more)
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Sir mai ek ladka hu. mai kisi ladki se 10 year tak relationship mai raha hu with physical attachment. But she left me alone kareeban 2 saal ho giya na woh call karte hai na kuch.. maine kafi bar Milne ke koshish ke but woh nhi milte hai mujha. Meri attachment kisi doosre ladki se hovi but mai us se happy nhi hu mai 28 years old hu job pe be focus nhi kar paa Raha hu idhar Ghar Wale b kehte hai k shadi karlo. Ghar Mai b problems hoti hai ku k mummy akeli sab kaam karte hai aur koie haath batane wala nhi hai us ka. Sir mai karu to kay karu mujha kuch samij nhi aata hai
Ans: Bhai, tumhari situation bahut mushkil hai. 10 saal tak relationship mein rahana aur fir breakup ho jana, itna aasan nahin hota. Tumhara dukhi aur confused hona puri tarah se samajh mein aata hai.

1. Apne aap ko samjho:

Sabse pehle, apne emotions ko samajhne ki koshish karo. Tumhara kya feel ho raha hai? Dukh, gussa, akelapan, ya kuch aur? Apne emotions ko accept karo aur unhen express karo.
Tumhara ex-girlfriend ke sath physical attachment tha. Isliye, breakup ke baad tumhara ek void feel hona natural hai.
Tumhara focus abhi job per nahin hai. Iska matlab hai ki tumhara mental state abhi theek nahin hai.
2. Apne aap ko theek karo:

Tumhare liye sabse important hai ki tum apne aap ko theek karo. Apne emotions ko deal karne ke liye healthy ways dhundho.
Tum therapist ya counselor se baat kar sakte ho.
Tum exercise, meditation, yoga, ya kuch aur creative activity kar sakte ho.
Apne friends aur family ke sath time spend karo.
3. Ghar ke mamle:

Tumhari mom ke liye help dhundho. Tum ghar ke kamon mein unki help kar sakte ho.
Tum maid ya cook rakh sakte ho.
Tum apne siblings se help mang sakte ho.
4. Rishta:

Tum abhi 28 saal ke ho. Shaadi karne ki tumhari age nahin hui hai.
Tum abhi relationship ke liye ready nahin ho.
Pehle apne aap ko theek karo.
Phir, jab tum ready ho jaao, tabhi dusre kisi ke sath relationship mein jao.
Kuch aur tips:

Apne aap ko time do.
Positive raho.
Apne dreams ko chase karo.
Khud per bharosa rakho.
Yaad rakho, tum akele nahin ho. Bahut se log aisi hi situations se gujarte hain. Tum theek ho jaaoge. Bas, apne aap ko time do aur khud per bharosa rakho.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |968 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
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Money
getting pension of 92 k monthly and corpus of around 2cr . Exhausted maximum scss , MIS and annuity of 25 L . Iam very apprehensive of equity. How to go about my further investment with safe returns which still meets inflation all along. No debts and spouse pension around 70 k . Monthly average expenses currently one lakh. Life expectancy in family around 80 plus .
Ans: Given your risk aversion and focus on preserving capital while beating inflation, here's a suggested approach for further investments:

Fixed-Income Investments: Since you're apprehensive about equity, focus on fixed-income investments such as high-quality bonds, corporate deposits, or fixed deposits from reputable institutions. These investments provide stable returns and capital preservation, albeit with lower potential for growth compared to equity.
Government Schemes: Explore other government-backed schemes like the Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS), Pradhan Mantri Vaya Vandana Yojana (PMVVY), or Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (MIS). These schemes offer attractive interest rates and safety of capital, providing a reliable income stream.
Debt Mutual Funds: Consider investing a portion of your corpus in debt mutual funds, particularly those with a focus on high-quality bonds and low-risk securities. Opt for funds with a track record of stability and consistent returns, aligning with your risk tolerance and investment objectives.
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): To meet your monthly expenses while preserving capital, consider setting up a systematic withdrawal plan from your investment portfolio. This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly, ensuring a steady income stream while maintaining the principal amount.
Diversification: Even within fixed-income investments, diversify across different asset classes and investment vehicles to spread risk and optimize returns. Review and adjust your investment portfolio periodically to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific financial situation and goals. Together, you can create a comprehensive investment plan that meets your income needs, preserves capital, and safeguards your financial future.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |968 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
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Money
Hi, I am 40 year old with my wife and 3yr old son. I have already invested 780000 in various mfs and currently sip of 29000 pm. Also I am investing 20000 per year in ppf. I have invested 18 units in SGB as of now. I want to retire at age of 52 year. My current expense is 35000 pm. Please suggest me for my retirement goal.
Ans: Based on the information you've provided, you seem to be on a good track for retirement planning. Here's a breakdown to help you analyze your current situation and suggest some improvements for your retirement goals:

Current Scenario Analysis:

Investments:
Total Invested Amount: ?7,80,000 (lump sum)
Monthly SIP: ?29,000
PPF Investment: ?20,000 per year (approx. ?1667 per month)
SGB Investment: 18 units (total investment amount not available)
Retirement Age: 52 years (12 years from now)
Monthly Expenses: ?35,000
Points to Consider:

Investment Horizon: 12 years is a good timeframe for investments to grow for your retirement.
Diversification: While details of your mutual funds are not available, aim for a diversified portfolio across asset classes (equity, debt) to manage risk.
Inflation: Inflation can erode the purchasing power of your money over time. Factor in inflation when calculating your retirement corpus.
Retirement Lifestyle: Consider the lifestyle you desire in retirement and estimate the monthly expenses you might have.
Suggestions for Improvement:

Calculate Required Corpus: Use online retirement calculators or consult a financial advisor to estimate the total corpus you'll need based on your desired retirement lifestyle and expected inflation.
Review your SIP: Analyze your existing SIPs and their performance. You can consider increasing the SIP amount gradually as your income grows to reach your target corpus.
Asset Allocation: Ensure your mutual fund portfolio has an appropriate asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and remaining investment horizon. You might need to adjust the mix of equity and debt funds closer to retirement for more stability.
NPS (National Pension System): Consider exploring NPS, which offers tax benefits and a structured approach to retirement savings. However, the investment has a lock-in period until retirement with some exceptions.
Health Insurance: Having adequate health insurance coverage is crucial, especially as medical expenses tend to rise with age. Ensure you and your family have a comprehensive health insurance plan.
Here are some resources that can help you with retirement planning:

Retirement Calculators: Many online financial institutions and investment platforms offer retirement calculators.
SEBI (Securities and Exchange Board of India) - Investor Education on Retirement Planning: [invalid URL removed]
PFRDA (Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority) - NPS Website: https://www.pfrda.org.in/
Remember:

This is a general overview, and consulting a qualified financial advisor can provide personalized guidance based on your specific circumstances, risk tolerance, and financial goals.
Regularly review your investment portfolio and adjust your strategy as needed based on market conditions and your evolving needs.
By continuing with your current investments, exploring additional options, and carefully planning, you can increase your chances of achieving a comfortable and secure retirement.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |968 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

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Money
Sir, I am investing in mutual funds for my kid higher education. Amount needed after 15 years is 1.0 crore. I am investing 4000 rs each in the following schemes. 1. Kotak emerging equity 2. Axis Value fund 3. Parag parikh flexi cap 4. ICICI US Bluechip fund Please suggest should I continue with these. Will the US fund will eat away my capital gains?
Ans: Continuing with your current investment approach for your child's education is a proactive step. However, let's review your fund selection:

Kotak Emerging Equity: Offers growth potential by investing in emerging companies. Review its performance and consistency to ensure it aligns with your investment goals.
Axis Value Fund: Focuses on value investing principles. Evaluate its track record and potential for long-term growth.
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap: Known for its diversified approach across market segments. Assess its performance and consistency over time.
ICICI US Bluechip Fund: Invests in blue-chip US companies. While it offers exposure to international markets, consider its currency risk and tax implications.
Regarding the ICICI US Bluechip Fund, investing in international funds can provide diversification but may also entail currency and tax implications. Capital gains from international funds are subject to capital gains tax in India, similar to domestic funds. However, currency fluctuations can impact returns.

Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to evaluate the impact of international investing on your portfolio and whether it aligns with your risk tolerance and investment objectives. Additionally, review the performance and potential risks of each fund regularly to ensure they remain suitable for your child's education goal.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |968 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
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Money
I have two daughters and their age is 16 and 15 and i own 50 lakhs bank FD , 9 lakhs invested in MF me and my wife have invest 60 lakhs in share market and my age 51 year old. Can you plz suggest the best option for investment . for my future education of two kids and my and my wife upcoming old age( My family ) i have 3 lakhs mediclaim and have few LIC policies. I request you to give me the best advice or suggest the best investment for my growth of money and as a monthly income ( Home expenses ) plz reply
Ans: Given your family's financial situation and goals, it's crucial to create a comprehensive investment plan that considers both growth and stability. Here's a suggested approach:

Education Fund for Daughters: Since your daughters are nearing college age, consider setting aside a portion of your investments specifically for their education expenses. You may allocate a portion of your bank FDs and MF investments towards this goal, ensuring it grows over time to meet their educational needs.
Retirement Planning: As you and your wife approach retirement, it's essential to prioritize building a sufficient corpus to support your lifestyle in old age. Consider diversifying your investment portfolio to include a mix of equity, debt, and balanced funds, along with retirement-focused instruments like the National Pension System (NPS) or Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS).
Health and Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for your family's medical needs. Additionally, review your existing LIC policies to ensure they align with your current financial goals and provide adequate coverage for your family's future needs.
Monthly Income: To generate regular income for your household expenses during retirement, consider investing in dividend-paying stocks, mutual funds with dividend options, or fixed income instruments like Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) or Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS).
Regular Review and Adjustment: Regularly review your investment portfolio to track its performance, make necessary adjustments, and ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your family's specific financial situation and goals. Together, you can create a customized investment plan that addresses your needs for growth, income, and financial security.
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