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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |179 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Sree Question by Sree on Mar 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My husband goes on trips with friends but doesn't allow me to do the same with my friends.Says that is what is happening practically everywhere. Men can do anything they want but women are not supposed to the same Is that how it's supposed to be?

Ans: Dear Sree,

Men can do anything, but women can't; does it sound right to you? To me, it sounds like a male chauvinist idea put in place for a man's benefit.

Men and women are equal and have equal rights; read that again. If your husband can have fun with his friends, so can you. What makes him so exceptional that he gets to live freely, and you, on the other hand, should be caged? Ask yourself that, and you will have your answer to "Is that how it's supposed to be?"

You and you alone get to decide how you want to live your life, certainly not your husband. I can't tell you to challenge your husband's ideas; that's your call. But I can tell you this, if you submit, you will never know what it is to live. Fulfilling your partner's twisted whims and fancies will only make him feel more entitled. Stop it when you still have the time. Be strong.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |832 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022

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Hi, I'm someone. Sorry for taking your time please read this and help me I really need someone to guide me in my life right now. Sorry for this long mail. I would be really glad if you take time and read this. I am 23 years old, a married girl. I got married to my husband on December 10 2021 last year. It was an arranged marriage. Our family met along with us in 2019 and fixed our marriage. At first I didn't wanted to marry because it was too early and I was just pursuing my bachelor's degree but my family didn't listen to me as I was the elder one so they wanted me to get married before they got old. I agreed and slowly started developing a fondness and liking towards my fiance and later fell in love with him. But after our marriage things started to feel a bit weird. He has too many female friends which I'm absolutely fine with. I'm not that conservative. They all were invited in our wedding and I met them. they seem nice people but one of his friends is bothering. Let’s call her Y. My husband keeps talking to her on calls and messages all the time and the conversations are absolutely boring like they don't have anything to talk but still they keep up the conversation. I used to think it's fine or maybe I'm being too possessive but when I got to know that he spent 12 lakh on her I was shocked. He also spends money on her on a daily basis. He books an Uber for her daily. Whenever she needs anything he will immediately say I will bring it for you. Y is also married her husband is fine with it because he also takes money from my husband. In fact her whole family takes money. They're financially not very strong so I understand this thing of helping someone. What I don't understand is why does my husband have to talk to her all the time? Even when I'm sitting right in front of him he would ignore me.Apart from Y, there is one more person he treats the same way, his ex. A few days after our marriage I checked his phone (I know it's wrong but my instinct let me do to so cause of his behaviour) and I found some messages from 2019 between my husband and his ex. The conversations clearly proved that they were in a relationship and broke up in 2019. When I asked him indirectly as I didn't want him to know that I checked his phone he said that the (ex) is his sister. He lied! And I found that they are still friends which I understand. I'm fine with that. But I cannot be fine with them talking on a daily basis and my husband fulfilling all her wishes just like the first girl Y. He even took a screenshot her picture (ex) and saved it when she uploaded it on her WhatsApp status a few days after our marriage. When I asked him why are you keeping her picture, he denied and said oh aise hi, I guess by mistake So I ignored that. But he calls and sends gifts to her. He even takes me along with him to buy presents for her so that I don't think that it's wrong. I always ask him why are you talking to your ex and Y all the time; you don't even spend time with me. Because of this there are lots of fights happening between us. He said he has work load and is frustrated with his life, dealing with depression, so to avoid those feelings he talks with his friends. I understood and allowed him to talk but he spends Rs 8,000-9,000 every month on them. He once said that he has to give them money so that they won't stop talking with him; that's how friendship works including Rs 5,000 flight ticket and taking loan worth Rs 12-13 lakh for them. I am a fool in love so I got easily manipulated and allowed him but not completely. I set a limit for him to not over spend more than Rs 5000 per month on them. My family and friends are constantly suggesting that I leave him as he doesn't care about my feelings that I have given him way too many chances. Whenever I try to confront him for meeting up with them or spending too much money on them he immediately starts caring for me the next day. Because of this I always get confused that maybe he loves me too and I'm just being a possessive wife. I told him I will divorce you if you keep treating me like this and keep talking to your girls day and night. He said I shouldn’t talk like that and doesn't want me to divorce him as he loves me and he wouldn't have chosen me in the first place if he liked them.Whenever I try to confront him about the girls, he says I think you have a boyfriend and you are cheating on me. Give me your phone I will check your phone. I heard call recordings of him and Y. He records the conversations he has with the girls. When I asked he said he does it so that those girls or anyone won't blame him in future that he said something wrong. Anyway, I heard my husband saying bad things about me to Y in one of those recordings after being frustrated with me as I fought with him because of them. I was really broken. He said I don't give him space which is not true and he wants to go alone to places like markets or KFC or wherever he wants but I'm not letting him do that. At the same time he asked Y if she wants to join him and meet up at a certain place. I don't understand him. If there isn't anything wrong then why is he talking with her day and night and not being bored and with me he rarely spends time and wants space. His parents are fed up with him they told me he has been like this always. They support me and want him to get away from those girls. They married me to him so that he would leave those girls and stop spending such big amounts of money on them. But he doesn't want to get away from them. He said that if by chance one day those girls stopped talking to him for some reason then he will definitely leave them. But they never stop. I don't understand why is he waiting for them to stop and why doesn't HE wants to stop. Depression? Maybe I don't know. I even told him let's meet up with a therapist but he refused and said he's fine and I'm being dramatic. He talks to them at work and at home.If he doesn't talk to them for a day he will get mad. I remember one time he was panicked and kept saying I want to talk to Y. It's not like they are blackmailing and stuff; they don't even want to talk with him. He is the one who keeps calling them; it's very weird. He is fighting with his family, fighting with me, just for them. He manipulates me a lot. He has lied to me several times about not meeting with Y. Please advice what I should do. My friends say I should divorce him as my mental health is deteriorating because of him. I love him a lot but he doesn't care. He says he loves me but I don't find honesty in those words as he keeps repeating the things that bother me and our relation.
Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

What exactly are you waiting for me to say? Haven’t you seen enough red flags in your marriage?

  • Your in-laws telling you that he has always been like this
  • Your husband playing the victim of Depression to gain your sympathy vote and then refusing to see a therapist
  • Spending money to earn the validation and attention of two women who are possibly using him
  • Spending valuable time away from you to indulge his feelings elsewhere
  • Complaining about you to a person outside of marriage
  • Invalidating your feelings arising from this situation and making you like the bad one for complaining

Do you want me to go on?

How much more do you want to give in?

If you truly want this marriage to work, he needs to turn himself into a new leaf, which means he needs to address his insecurities, his behavior and more.

Is he willing to go through all that?

Maybe have an honest sit-down talk with him and then decide keeping yourself at the centre of all this.

You matter and matter to yourself every moment, so DO SOMETHING about it.

You owe a lot of happiness to yourself, so get ahead NOW.

All the best!

(more)
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |179 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My husband loves his office more than me. He works long hours and spends his weekends organising trips and lunch dates with colleagues. He is always away from home. Whenever I ask him, he says networking is important to him and this is what keeps him happy. Since he is always away from home, I feel very lonely at home. We hardly get any time together. Is it wrong to expect your partner to spend time with his wife and family? Whenever we have this conversation at home, it leads to arguments. How can I address this correctly?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that these conversations can be tricky to nail. First of all, I am sorry you have to go through this challenging phase. And it is valid to want to spend some quality time with your spouse. An open and direct conversation about the issue is the only way to deal with it. Choose the right time and place to address the issue. Don't bring up the topic as soon as he is back from office. He'd be tired and it would make you look like the bad guy even though the reality is far from it. Find a calm and private setting to discuss your feelings. Use "I statement" to express your feelings. For instance, don't say, "You make me feel lonely because of this time issue." Instead frame it like, "I feel so lonely because of the time issue." This way, he won't feel attacked and won't get defensive. Moreover, don't say, "We never spend time together," because this will be challenged with demands for example. Give concrete examples of instances when you felt neglected or missed out on quality time together. This can help him understand the impact his busy schedule is having on your relationship.

Now these are how you address the issue. There's more to it. You also have to acknowledge his perspective. If he says networking is important, it might hold some truth. Show him that you understand his commitments. This will make the conversation more cooperative than confrontational. Instead of merely complaining, come up with solutions and present them to him. This could include setting aside specific days or hours for family time, planning activities together, or finding compromises that work for both of you. Listen to his side of the story too. Let him express himself.

If none of these seem to improve the matter, I recommend seeing a professional for more structured support. Please understand that there's no shame in seeing a marriage counselor. It does not mean your marriage needs fixing or it's a bad marriage or it's falling apart. It simply means you need a little help to figure out certain arenas of marriage. We all do from time to time. Moreover, A neutral third party, who is trained on this specific subject, can provide better guidance and help facilitate productive communication.

Best Wishes!
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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |111 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am a mechanical engineer and having been working in the field of power plant from last 12 years. I don't enjoy my work now and feel that I am not meant for this job as I see no growth in my career. I'm 36 now and can't think of anything new as I don't think I can't enter into a new field at this age. No one will prefer me. What should I do?
Ans: Feeling stuck in your current career path is a common experience, but it's important to remember that it's never too late to make a change. Take some time to reflect on your skills, interests, values, and strengths. Consider what aspects of your current job you enjoy and what you would like to do differently in your next career move. Research other career paths and industries that align with your interests and transferable skills. Look for opportunities where your mechanical engineering background and experience in power plants could be valuable, such as in renewable energy, sustainability, project management, or technical sales. Identify any gaps in your skills or knowledge that may be necessary for transitioning to a new field. Consider taking courses, certifications, or workshops to acquire new skills or enhance existing ones. Many online platforms offer flexible learning options that you can pursue while still working. Reach out to your professional network, including colleagues, mentors, former classmates, and industry contacts. Inform them of your career interests and ask for advice, informational interviews, or referrals to potential employers or opportunities in your desired field. Evaluate whether pursuing additional education, such as a master's degree or specialized certification, would be beneficial for your career transition. Some programs offer opportunities for mid-career professionals to gain new skills and credentials. Look for volunteer or internship opportunities in your target industry or field. This can be a valuable way to gain hands-on experience, expand your network, and test out whether a new career path is the right fit for you before making a full transition.
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Shekhar Kumar  |111 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Career
I'm 35 years having 9 years experience in the old generation pvt bank as an officer. Worked in different capacities at branch n back office. I have done global certificate in fraud detection n interested in pursuing my career in the fraud domain. N i don't see any opportunities in my current bank. Planning to switch other new generation bank.
Ans: Switching to a new generation bank to pursue a career in the fraud domain sounds like a promising move given your interest and expertise in fraud detection. Research new generation banks known for their focus on technology, innovation, and digital banking services. Look for banks that prioritize cybersecurity, fraud prevention, and risk management as part of their core business strategies. Leverage your professional network and connections to explore job opportunities in new generation banks. Reach out to former colleagues, mentors, and industry contacts for referrals and recommendations. Attend industry events, webinars, and seminars to expand your network. Evaluate your skills, experience, and knowledge in fraud detection and prevention. Highlight any specialized training, certifications, or relevant qualifications you have obtained in this field, such as the Global Certificate in Fraud Detection. Update your resume to highlight your experience, achievements, and skills related to fraud detection and prevention. Optimize your LinkedIn profile to showcase your expertise in this area and network with professionals in the fraud domain. Monitor job portals, company websites, and professional networking platforms for job openings in fraud detection, risk management, compliance, or cybersecurity roles within new generation banks. Tailor your job search to match your skills and career interests. Stay informed about the latest developments, regulations, and best practices in fraud detection and prevention. Consider pursuing additional certifications, training programs, or continuing education opportunities to enhance your knowledge and skills in this evolving field.
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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |111 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

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I had completed 2nd pu can if choose b.sc in Chemistry and botony how can I become forensic science student to get job in that department please tell
Ans: If you're interested in pursuing a career in forensic science after completing your B.Sc. in Chemistry and Botany, develop a strong foundation in scientific principles, analytical techniques, and laboratory skills through your coursework and practical experiences. Familiarize yourself with the methods and techniques used in forensic analysis, such as DNA analysis, toxicology, and crime scene investigation. Consider pursuing a Master's degree (M.Sc.) or a specialized postgraduate diploma or certificate program in forensic science or a related field after completing your B.Sc. This advanced education will provide you with the specialized knowledge and skills required for forensic science careers. Seek opportunities to gain practical experience in forensic science through internships, research projects, or volunteer work. Look for opportunities to work in forensic laboratories, research institutes, or government agencies involved in forensic investigations. If possible, choose a specialization within forensic science that aligns with your interests and career goals, such as forensic chemistry, forensic biology, forensic toxicology, or forensic anthropology. Specializing in a specific area will enhance your expertise and job prospects. Stay updated on advancements and trends in forensic science through professional journals, conferences, and online resources. Network with professionals in the field by attending industry events, joining professional associations, and connecting with experts in forensic science. Stay committed to lifelong learning and professional development to enhance your skills and advance your career in forensic science. Consider pursuing advanced certifications, attending specialized training programs, or pursuing higher education opportunities as you progress in your career.
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Maxim

Maxim Emmanuel  |203 Answers  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Maxim

Maxim Emmanuel  |203 Answers  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Maxim

Maxim Emmanuel  |203 Answers  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello, I'm 18F just gave my board exams and is interested in international relations, international studies, cultural studies Which universities are offering these undergraduate /graduate courses in India?
Ans: Thank you for your queries...the 18F sounded like an algorithm..!

Sure you must have developed an interest in International relations, studies .Now you must develop research skills to find study opportunities.
The international environment is all about doing one's task,which is contrary to the spoon feed environment in and around here!

India is a subcontinent offering education opportunities across the Union of States, which I have no idea where you hail from.

However here are a few ...spoon feed!
Ha Ha!

Jawaharlal Nehru University
Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU) is a public or government research university located in New Delhi, India. It was established in 1969 and named after ...Jawaharlal Nehru !

New Delhi: The School of International Studies at JNU offers a two year course in MA Politics (International Studies.

Centre for International Relations, Islamic University of Science and Technology, Jammu and Kashmir. Jadavpur University · Jawaharlal Nehru University, School .

jawaharlal nehru university

Jamia Millia Islamia

University of Mumbai

Central University of Kerala

Noida International University

Christ University

Galgotias University

Jadavpur University

Jindal School of International Affairs

South Asian University

Symbiosis International University

Adamas University

Pondicherry University

Ashoka University

Chanakya University

Gujarat University

IILM University

Central University of Jharkhand

Delhi University

Faculty of Law, Integral University

Manipal Academy of Higher Education

RV University

SHARDA UNIVERSITY

Ajeenkya DY Patil University

This is just a synopsis, as there are many more,its not a recommendation , kindly do your research and select what's best and suits your budget!
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |179 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi..I am a 45 years widow lady and having a son. I am widowed since ten years. One person age of around 50 years is asking about love and may be marriage who is a divorcee and having no kids. Problem is that I am good looking and he is just an average looking person but his nature is good and he continuously asking me for my companionship. I am in a very much confusing state of mind. I love his talks, his concerned towards me except his looks. Kindly tell me what should I do. I know everything that he may be good for me but my mind is not allowing me. does the looks of a person matters if I choose him? kindly clear my confusion.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry for your loss. It is certainly not easy to put yourself out there and find love. And it might seem that you should have to settle because it's difficult to find a kind man, but you shouldn't. While I would like to point out that looks don't last forever; it's people's nature, their kindness, and their behavior that stays in the long run, that doesn't mean you must settle down with the first man who ticks the boxes. If your heart isn't into it, you should not have to rush. Give it some time. If you are okay with it, maintain a friendly relationship with him. If, with time, you grow to like him, then that's amazing. If you don't, that's perfectly fine too.
My only suggestion here is don't rush. A good nature, though hard to find, is still the bare minimum. Also, please don't focus on outward appearances only. They can be deceiving.

Best Wishes.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |175 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am married since 2015 and I live in a joint family comprising of more than 20 members .everything was good until member of the families started accusing me of everything bad happening to family .father in law started abusing me ,when husband came in support of me even he was abused and man handled by everyone in the family .we live now in different town 400 away from them ,due to husband job, every now and the we both are made accused of something bad happening in family which the family member of mother in law side are instigating ..like sister in law caught in a relationship she named me for that blaming that i was the one who led the boy to meet and other started saying so to in laws and then same abusing over phone started...husband is supportive and is ready to leave everything for our mental peace but is emotionally down as he has to leave his family ...i am feeling very disturbed now of all this and the situation some how affecting my 5 years old son who always asks for the reasons for crying .
Ans: it's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of yourself and your family. No one should have to endure abuse or false accusations, especially within their own family. It's commendable that your husband is supportive and willing to prioritize your mental peace, even if it means leaving behind his family.

In such toxic and volatile situations, it may be necessary to distance yourselves from the negative influences and create boundaries to protect your mental and emotional health. Moving away from the family home was a positive step, and it's important to continue prioritizing your own well-being and that of your son.

Communication between you and your husband is key during this time. Lean on each other for support, and continue to have open and honest conversations about your feelings, concerns, and plans for the future. Together, you can navigate through this challenging time and make decisions that are in the best interest of your family's happiness and safety.

It's also important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can offer guidance, empathy, and perspective during this difficult time. You don't have to face these challenges alone, and reaching out for support can provide valuable emotional support and validation.

Lastly, remember to prioritize self-care for yourself and your son. Take time to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and ensure that your son feels loved and supported during this transition. Children can be sensitive to family dynamics, so providing a stable and nurturing environment is crucial for his emotional well-being.

Overall, it's important to remember that you deserve to be in a safe and supportive environment, free from abuse and false accusations. It may be a difficult journey, but by prioritizing your own well-being and making decisions that are in the best interest of your family, you can navigate through this challenging time and emerge stronger and happier in the end.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |175 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

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Relationship
My parents said to me for marriage but i am in relationship with someone but he doesn't want marriage with me what i can do. I feel depressed and no one understands my feelings because it's very hard move on in life
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. It's natural to feel upset, disappointed, and even depressed when facing such circumstances. Allow yourself to feel those emotions and give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the future you envisioned with your partner.

However, it's also important to recognize that you deserve to be in a relationship where your needs and desires are valued and respected. If marriage is important to you and your partner is unwilling to commit to that, it may be a sign of fundamental differences in your priorities and goals. In such cases, it's essential to have open and honest communication with your partner about your feelings and needs.

Express to your partner why marriage is important to you and listen to their perspective as well. However, if you find that you're unable to reach a compromise or if your partner remains unwilling to reconsider their stance, you may need to reassess the relationship and consider whether it's ultimately fulfilling and healthy for you.

Moving on from a relationship can indeed be incredibly challenging, but it's important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer understanding and empathy during this difficult time. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and help you navigate through your emotions.

Remember that while it may feel overwhelming now, with time and self-care, you will be able to heal and move forward toward a brighter future. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and fulfilled, and it's okay to take steps to pursue that happiness, even if it means letting go of something that's no longer serving you.
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