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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |592 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Sree Question by Sree on Mar 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My husband goes on trips with friends but doesn't allow me to do the same with my friends.Says that is what is happening practically everywhere. Men can do anything they want but women are not supposed to the same Is that how it's supposed to be?

Ans: Dear Sree,

Men can do anything, but women can't; does it sound right to you? To me, it sounds like a male chauvinist idea put in place for a man's benefit.

Men and women are equal and have equal rights; read that again. If your husband can have fun with his friends, so can you. What makes him so exceptional that he gets to live freely, and you, on the other hand, should be caged? Ask yourself that, and you will have your answer to "Is that how it's supposed to be?"

You and you alone get to decide how you want to live your life, certainly not your husband. I can't tell you to challenge your husband's ideas; that's your call. But I can tell you this, if you submit, you will never know what it is to live. Fulfilling your partner's twisted whims and fancies will only make him feel more entitled. Stop it when you still have the time. Be strong.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |592 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My husband loves his office more than me. He works long hours and spends his weekends organising trips and lunch dates with colleagues. He is always away from home. Whenever I ask him, he says networking is important to him and this is what keeps him happy. Since he is always away from home, I feel very lonely at home. We hardly get any time together. Is it wrong to expect your partner to spend time with his wife and family? Whenever we have this conversation at home, it leads to arguments. How can I address this correctly?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that these conversations can be tricky to nail. First of all, I am sorry you have to go through this challenging phase. And it is valid to want to spend some quality time with your spouse. An open and direct conversation about the issue is the only way to deal with it. Choose the right time and place to address the issue. Don't bring up the topic as soon as he is back from office. He'd be tired and it would make you look like the bad guy even though the reality is far from it. Find a calm and private setting to discuss your feelings. Use "I statement" to express your feelings. For instance, don't say, "You make me feel lonely because of this time issue." Instead frame it like, "I feel so lonely because of the time issue." This way, he won't feel attacked and won't get defensive. Moreover, don't say, "We never spend time together," because this will be challenged with demands for example. Give concrete examples of instances when you felt neglected or missed out on quality time together. This can help him understand the impact his busy schedule is having on your relationship.

Now these are how you address the issue. There's more to it. You also have to acknowledge his perspective. If he says networking is important, it might hold some truth. Show him that you understand his commitments. This will make the conversation more cooperative than confrontational. Instead of merely complaining, come up with solutions and present them to him. This could include setting aside specific days or hours for family time, planning activities together, or finding compromises that work for both of you. Listen to his side of the story too. Let him express himself.

If none of these seem to improve the matter, I recommend seeing a professional for more structured support. Please understand that there's no shame in seeing a marriage counselor. It does not mean your marriage needs fixing or it's a bad marriage or it's falling apart. It simply means you need a little help to figure out certain arenas of marriage. We all do from time to time. Moreover, A neutral third party, who is trained on this specific subject, can provide better guidance and help facilitate productive communication.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8597 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 19, 2025
Money
Hello Me and my wife both have taken home loan of 90 lakh out of which 21 lakh has yet to disbursed (the property is under construction).for 30 years. Our total income (me and my wife) is 1.35 lakh out of which we play 55k towards monthly EMI for 6885000. Recently repo rate also has decreased also our EMI is decreased. What strategy should we apply for early closure of loan
Ans: You and your wife are already doing a good job by taking joint financial responsibility. Your EMI is currently manageable. The drop in repo rates gives a good window to restructure the strategy for early loan closure.

Let us now build a 360-degree strategy to help you close this home loan earlier than planned.

Present Financial Setup
Your home loan is Rs. 90 lakh.

Rs. 68.85 lakh is disbursed, and Rs. 21.15 lakh is yet to be released.

Your joint monthly income is Rs. 1.35 lakh.

EMI is Rs. 55,000 per month for now.

The interest rate has slightly reduced recently due to repo rate drop.

Your EMI burden has reduced a little, which helps.

Strategy 1: Prioritise Partial Prepayments
Any bonus, gift, or extra income can be used to prepay the loan.

Even a small prepayment once in 6 months reduces interest in the long run.

Prepay only from surplus, not from your emergency fund.

It helps to request the bank that all prepayments should reduce tenure, not EMI.

Strategy 2: Increase EMI Every Year
Every year, your income might rise slightly.

Use part of that rise to increase EMI voluntarily.

A 5% annual increase in EMI can save many years of tenure.

Even Rs. 2,000 more in EMI monthly can create strong impact.

Strategy 3: Build Prepayment Fund Separately
Open a recurring deposit or a debt mutual fund.

Deposit a fixed amount monthly.

Once in 12 or 18 months, withdraw and use for prepayment.

This is useful if you cannot prepay every month.

Strategy 4: Use Tax Refunds and Yearly Increments
Every year, you may get tax refund.

Instead of spending it, use it for loan prepayment.

Year-end salary increments should partly go towards EMI increase.

Avoid lifestyle inflation during raise in salary.

Strategy 5: Target Rs. 1 Lakh Prepayment Per Year
If both of you manage Rs. 50,000 each in a year, target is done.

Rs. 1 lakh annual prepayment cuts both tenure and total interest.

Consistency is more important than amount.

Strategy 6: Protect Emergency Fund
Maintain 6 to 9 months of expenses as emergency fund.

Do not touch this for prepayments.

It gives financial peace and avoids stress during job loss.

Strategy 7: Do Not Increase EMI Burden Too Much
Total EMI should not cross 40% of combined income.

Don’t stretch finances too tight for prepayment.

Balance is more important than aggression.

Strategy 8: Do Not Go for Higher Tenure Again
If interest rate drops, do not extend loan tenure again.

Ask bank to reduce EMI or keep EMI same but reduce tenure.

Tenure reduction saves maximum interest.

Strategy 9: Avoid Unnecessary Loans
Avoid buying car or electronics on EMI during this period.

More loans will delay your goal of early closure.

Strategy 10: Invest Only After Building Stability
Prepay loan first before going for long-term investments.

You can start SIPs and other goals once EMI is under control.

But keep PF, insurance, and child education savings intact.

Strategy 11: Avoid Interest Rate Shock in Future
If possible, shift to fixed rate after 3 to 5 years.

That will protect you from rate increase cycles.

Discuss with your bank when most of disbursal is done.

Strategy 12: Track and Stay Focused
Keep a simple Excel sheet to track balance and prepayments.

Visual tracking helps stay motivated.

Reward yourself after every prepayment milestone.

Finally
Early loan closure is fully possible with your current income level.

You and your wife are already doing well by maintaining a balance between EMI and lifestyle.

Using surplus income for prepayment, increasing EMI step by step, and avoiding unnecessary expenses can reduce your 30-year loan to 12-15 years.

Loan closure should be done with balance and planning, not stress or over-commitment.

You don’t need to be aggressive. You need to be consistent.

Focus on liquidity, stability, and controlled prepayments.

You are on the right path. Just stay focused and structured.

Once the home loan is cleared, your long-term wealth building journey will be very strong.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8597 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2025
Money
My friend has invested 13lakhs in mutual fund and its current worth is 19 lakhs now. He is planning to buy a apartment now worth 55 lakhs by selling all mutual funds and pay remaining by home loan. His current salary is 70k and his wife earns 40k and they have a girl child 3 month old now. He is 28year old now. Please advise if this is a good idea?
Ans: He has shown good discipline by investing Rs. 13 lakh in mutual funds, now valued at Rs. 19 lakh. However, using the entire mutual fund corpus to buy a Rs. 55 lakh apartment may not be the best decision. Let’s explore this further.

Current Financial Snapshot
Combined monthly income: Rs. 1.10 lakh

Mutual fund corpus: Rs. 19 lakh (initial investment: Rs. 13 lakh)

Proposed apartment cost: Rs. 55 lakh

Proposed home loan: Rs. 36 lakh

Dependent: 3-month-old daughter

Assessing the Home Loan Affordability
With a combined income of Rs. 1.10 lakh, a Rs. 36 lakh loan over 20 years would result in an EMI of approximately Rs. 30,000.

This EMI would consume about 27% of their monthly income, which is within the generally recommended limit of 30-40%.

Evaluating the Decision to Liquidate Mutual Funds
Selling the entire mutual fund corpus would eliminate their emergency fund and long-term investment growth potential.

They would also incur a long-term capital gains tax of 12.5% on gains exceeding Rs. 1.25 lakh.

Alternative Strategies
Partial Liquidation: Consider selling a portion of the mutual funds to reduce the loan amount, while retaining some investments for future growth and emergencies.

Emergency Fund: Maintain at least 6 months' worth of expenses in a liquid form to cover unforeseen circumstances.

Child's Future: Start a separate investment plan for the child's education and other future needs.

Final Insights
While purchasing a home is a significant milestone, it's essential to balance this with financial stability.

Retaining some mutual fund investments can provide financial security and growth.

It's advisable to consult with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor a plan that aligns with their financial goals and responsibilities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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