My husband goes on trips with friends but doesn't allow me to do the same with my friends.Says that is what is happening practically everywhere. Men can do anything they want but women are not supposed to the same Is that how it's supposed to be?

Ans: Dear Sneha,
Well, I am sure you would have expected him to plan the trip with his family! Yes, why not!
But, it is also healthy for the two of you to have your space away from one another and make trips with your own sets of friends.
BUT if your husband has begun to use this to ignore year-end family trips or has overlooked important events within the family to go on trips with his friends, consider this a red flag that you must not ignore.
So, where the situation is, is something that you need to assess...and if it has been bothering you too much, do express to him how he feels...If he dismisses that, then you know he isn't giving importance to what's important to you, it must be addressed...
So, express and hear what he has to say or how he responds to it...it will give you an idea of where he is mind is!
Also, you will also know if you are clinging on to him...Space away from each other does help...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that these conversations can be tricky to nail. First of all, I am sorry you have to go through this challenging phase. And it is valid to want to spend some quality time with your spouse. An open and direct conversation about the issue is the only way to deal with it. Choose the right time and place to address the issue. Don't bring up the topic as soon as he is back from office. He'd be tired and it would make you look like the bad guy even though the reality is far from it. Find a calm and private setting to discuss your feelings. Use "I statement" to express your feelings. For instance, don't say, "You make me feel lonely because of this time issue." Instead frame it like, "I feel so lonely because of the time issue." This way, he won't feel attacked and won't get defensive. Moreover, don't say, "We never spend time together," because this will be challenged with demands for example. Give concrete examples of instances when you felt neglected or missed out on quality time together. This can help him understand the impact his busy schedule is having on your relationship.

Now these are how you address the issue. There's more to it. You also have to acknowledge his perspective. If he says networking is important, it might hold some truth. Show him that you understand his commitments. This will make the conversation more cooperative than confrontational. Instead of merely complaining, come up with solutions and present them to him. This could include setting aside specific days or hours for family time, planning activities together, or finding compromises that work for both of you. Listen to his side of the story too. Let him express himself.

If none of these seem to improve the matter, I recommend seeing a professional for more structured support. Please understand that there's no shame in seeing a marriage counselor. It does not mean your marriage needs fixing or it's a bad marriage or it's falling apart. It simply means you need a little help to figure out certain arenas of marriage. We all do from time to time. Moreover, A neutral third party, who is trained on this specific subject, can provide better guidance and help facilitate productive communication.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Vandana,
Now what the boys do there will stay there!
If this bothers you and I am sure given how your marriage has been for the past year, it's necessary to tell your husband about your concerns. If he really cares about you and the marriage, I am sure he will either not go or reassure you that he will not be a part of the casual sex part. Now either you believe him or not, is left to you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must be tough, and you are right, there’s nothing wrong with hanging out with friends. But I would suggest looking into how much time you are giving them and how much time you are spending with your wife. I am not accusing you of anything; this is just the first step. Reflecting on your own actions so that you are clear it’s no way your fault. Next, please try having an open discussion with her to understand what is making her so insecure. This is a clear sign of insecurity. It might give you an idea of what is going on in her mind, and how this can be fixed.

I understand that it is frustrating and feels unfair, but it is important to also understand what’s going on in your partner’s mind that’s making her feel the need to act this way. If it’s reasonable, there should be an easy solution. If her reasoning sounds self-centred, then you have a strong chance of trying to explain why it’s not fair. But without knowing, if you continue being secretive, it is only going to end up doing irreparable damage to your relationship.

Hope this helps.

Ans: You do not need permission to lead your life - however do you inform her as you make plans? You may also ask her what bothers her - learn if she is insecure and if so why...ask her please.

Wishing you the best.