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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1267 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 01, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Debajit Question by Debajit on Feb 27, 2023Hindi
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Hello Sir/ Ma'am i am 35 years old male married recently to a 30 years old woman..all fine till I discovered that my wife has got too close with one of male cousins aged 25 and since then he often reminds me that my wife is not satisfied with her sex life..is it a trap or he has got sexual desires for my wife..or everything moving through ex marital consent? I feel very insecure..

Ans: Dear Debajit,
Doubt eats the mind away just as rust eats away at iron.
What exactly has happened for you to believe that your wife is not satisfied with her sex life? Did she discuss this with you?
How do you know that their closeness is a trap for her?
Your insecurities are playing the devil here. The truth might be something else. Do not let your insecurities spoil your marriage.
Instead of letting another man remind you of what you are not or what you don't have, why don't you focus on why your wife chose to marry you and the reason you are married her.
Focusing on what you have rather than what you don't helps tide over insecurities and fortify your strengths.
Remember once you allow these doubts to grow, it will eat away at your relationship with little scope for any salvage.
All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |390 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a healthy boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and dropped the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happened weekly once or twice for 2 month(maximum 10 calls). they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife's reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin. Even he calls my wife's mother sometimes honey (she is very aged 60 years).it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. this is not even a issue for her that's why she did not discuss this with me. that's why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that. 1. Does the words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many friends in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occasionally. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women. Is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Let me address your queries one by one.
1. Yes, honey or dear can be friendly too. I cannot tell for sure if he was being friendly or flirty, but these are very common terms.
2. How can him calling your wife, or him being of questionable character make your wife “less pure than other women”? I am not sure how these two are even connected. She spoke highly about your relationship, never engaged in one-on-one conversation with the guy, and even stopped talking to him when he tried to call her separately. What is making you question your wife’s character still?
3. No. This isn’t cheating. Not on your wife’s part. Maybe the man did not have good intentions, but your wife did not indulge him. Even if we look at it from 100 different angles, this is not cheating.
4. When your wife spoke to him, none of you knew about his affair and his character. Then how is she responsible for it? And how is she responsible for his misdeeds anyway?
5. No, this does not affect your wife’s reputation in the society. Again, ask yourself, what is her fault in all of this? You are yourself saying they never met in person, never had a one-off conversation, etc.
Please understand that this man’s behavior is a reflection of his character, not your wife’s. It’s unfair of you to blame her or doubt her.

Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1267 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and drop the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happens weekly once or twice for 2 month. they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin.it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. thats why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that 1. Does words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many freinds in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occassionaly. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women's. is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is cheating and what is not is purely based on the Book of Rules that each of us have within us; it comes from the way we have been raised on a diet of 'right' and 'wrong' AND from our own experiences.
While validating whether a particular rule works well or not, just put in into context and see it.
- Does that rule keep you away from actually seeing things more openly?
- Does that rule keep you occupied with small things that hold no value?

I guess, you must think of it: is this really cheating? When your wife says that she has stopped talking to him, what makes you still obsess over it?
Also, her rule book says that 'honey' and 'dear' might not be a big thing...Plus, how can she control what another person says...yes, she could have objected and she didn't but not that she played on it.

See, the second doubts have crept in, the mind goes all over the place...even if there are no flirty messages, you will still find something problematic to confirm that what you were thinking in the first place.
So, maybe you need to look within to understand if there are jealousies and insecurities within you and that is what is occupying your mind. If Yes, then address this; speak with your wife and it's fine to tell her that you feel hurt and that you don't like it. When you are frank, a lot of things get sorted out...she may very well understand your point of view...and on your part, as you have said: she used to reply less and not respond much to him...
Do you want unnecessary thoughts drive a wedge in your marriage? Speak it out and things fall in place...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6965 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

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Money
Sir, i am working as lecturer having 25000/- salary, due to family circumstances i have 30lk credit. All jewell loans, i could not able to handle. Even i sale my jewellery, i will be having 5 to 6 lk only. Any suggestion to reduce my credits.
Ans: It takes courage to address such situations, and it’s great that you’re taking proactive steps to improve your finances. Here’s a 360-degree approach to help you effectively reduce your debts while managing your monthly income of Rs 25,000.

 

Assessing Your Debt Situation
Current Debt Amount: You have Rs 30 lakhs in debt primarily due to loans taken against jewelry. If selling your jewelry will provide only Rs 5-6 lakhs, then other measures are necessary to bridge the remaining gap.

Debt Sources and Interest Rates: Understanding the interest rates on each loan will help prioritize payments. Jewelry loans often carry lower interest than unsecured loans or credit card debt. However, their high value makes them significant.

 

Setting Financial Priorities
Essential Expenses: Calculate your essential monthly expenses (household, transport, utilities). This will clarify how much is left for debt repayment each month.

Debt Repayment Priority: Prioritize high-interest debts first. Any loan with a high interest rate should be addressed as soon as possible to reduce interest accumulation.

 

Exploring Repayment Options
Partial Repayment by Selling Jewelry: Selling your jewelry may not clear all debt but will help reduce a portion. Use the Rs 5-6 lakhs strategically by paying off high-interest loans first.

Consider Loan Consolidation: If possible, consolidate your loans into one with a lower interest rate. For instance, banks or cooperative societies sometimes offer personal loans at a lower rate, which can help ease monthly payments.

Restructuring Existing Loans: Contact your lenders to discuss loan restructuring options. Many banks provide relief by extending loan tenures or reducing EMI amounts for individuals in genuine financial distress.

 

Managing Monthly Cash Flow
Setting a Strict Budget: Allocate a strict budget for necessities. Consider frugal practices to reduce monthly costs temporarily, which can free up additional funds for debt payments.

Allocating a Debt Repayment Fund: Set aside a specific portion of your income every month, no matter how small, strictly for debt repayment. This will build consistency in reducing your debt.

Avoiding New Debts: Avoid taking additional loans or using credit until your current debt is more manageable.

 

Additional Income Opportunities
Tutoring or Freelance Work: As a lecturer, you could consider online tutoring or offering coaching for students after hours. Even Rs 5,000-10,000 in additional income monthly can significantly help.

Skill-Based Part-Time Work: If time permits, you could explore other opportunities aligned with your teaching expertise, such as writing educational content, creating online courses, or conducting paid webinars.

 

Support Systems and Resources
Family Support: Since family circumstances have impacted your debt, consider discussing any temporary financial support options with family members to ease immediate pressure.

Seeking Financial Counseling: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who can give detailed advice tailored to your unique situation, including restructuring or debt management plans. A CFP will provide a professional outlook on maximizing your income and managing debt within a structured plan.

 

Reducing Emotional and Financial Stress
Avoid Impulse Financial Decisions: It’s easy to make financial decisions under stress that may lead to more debt. Focus on following a structured plan.

Self-Care: Financial challenges can be overwhelming, affecting mental and physical health. Maintain a balanced routine, and stay positive.

 

Final Insights
Addressing debt takes time and disciplined planning. By following these steps, you can gradually reduce your financial burden. The approach of combining structured repayments with minimal expenses and possible additional income can put you back on a more stable financial footing.

 
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6965 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir, I purchased a residential plot in 2018. Paying 6 monthly installment.Total amount paid with interest was 43,00000/- forty three lack. I have no residential house at present. Now the present price of that is 95,00000/- . Now I want to sell that and investing Rs 40,00000/- for residential house and balance in commercial land. please advise me.
Ans: You’ve achieved excellent appreciation on your plot investment, which is highly commendable. You now aim to sell this property and use part of the funds for a residential house while considering the rest for commercial land. Let’s analyse this plan from a Certified Financial Planner’s perspective. Here’s a 360-degree assessment to help you make a well-informed decision.

Capital Gains and Tax Implications
Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): As you bought the plot in 2018 and are selling it now, the capital gains qualify as long-term. Given the increased value, you may incur LTCG tax on the profit.

Exemptions: When reinvesting in a residential property, you can potentially claim exemption under Section 54F of the Income Tax Act. This exemption applies if the capital gain amount is reinvested in a residential house within a specified timeframe. Consulting with a tax advisor could optimize your tax efficiency here.

Analyzing Residential House Purchase
Primary Residence Investment: Using Rs 40 lakh for a residential house is a wise move, as it gives you a self-owned home, fulfilling a fundamental need. Without a current home, owning a residence enhances your long-term security and reduces rent expenses.

Long-Term Value: Owning a home can offer lifestyle stability, tax benefits, and asset value over time. However, as residential properties are typically less liquid and may have lower returns than other assets, it’s best to consider it a personal asset rather than an investment.

Considerations for Commercial Land Investment
Investing in commercial land may seem attractive due to potentially higher rental yields and appreciation rates. However, let’s evaluate it against alternative investment avenues.

Risk and Return: Commercial properties generally offer higher returns than residential properties but come with higher risks. Rental income from commercial spaces can be inconsistent based on economic conditions and tenant demand. It’s essential to assess if you’re comfortable with this risk.

Liquidity Concerns: Real estate, especially commercial property, is less liquid. Selling a commercial property may take time, and in down markets, you may not realize your expected price.

Maintenance and Management: Commercial properties often require more active management, legal clearances, and compliance checks. Unless you’re prepared for these responsibilities, this investment could become complex.

Exploring Alternative Investments for Growth
To maximize growth, diversifying your remaining funds into financial instruments can be beneficial. Here are a few alternatives:

1. Mutual Funds
Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed mutual funds, overseen by professional fund managers, have the potential for higher returns than index funds. Unlike passive index funds, active funds aim to outperform benchmarks, making them appealing for growth-focused investors.

Regular vs. Direct Funds: Regular funds come with guidance from a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) and a Certified Financial Planner, who can provide personalized advice. The convenience of a CFP-guided approach often outweighs the slightly higher fees compared to direct funds. Direct funds, while fee-saving, lack advisory benefits and can lead to suboptimal choices if not expertly managed.

2. Fixed Income Instruments
Corporate Bonds or Government Securities: These can provide steady income and safety for conservative investors. Interest rates vary based on the issuer and tenure, and they offer fixed returns over time.

Fixed Deposits (FDs): Bank FDs or other fixed-income options offer stability and liquidity. Though the return rates are modest, they add a stable component to your portfolio.

Debt Mutual Funds: For a moderate-risk approach, debt funds are ideal. Debt mutual funds invest in bonds and government securities, offering stability and potentially higher returns than FDs. Remember, debt funds are taxed as per your income slab.

3. Gold as a Hedge
Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs): Investing a small portion in SGBs diversifies your portfolio, providing a hedge against inflation. SGBs offer interest income and avoid the hassle of physical storage, making them an efficient gold investment.

Gold Mutual Funds and ETFs: Alternatively, gold mutual funds or ETFs provide liquidity and flexibility, though they may have slightly lower returns than physical gold or SGBs.

Evaluating Your Financial Goals and Needs
Based on your current objective, here’s a tailored roadmap to help meet your requirements:

Primary Residence Ownership: Prioritise the Rs 40 lakh towards a residential home purchase, fulfilling your immediate housing needs.

Enhanced Diversification: For the remaining funds, diversify between mutual funds, fixed-income products, and gold. This combination offers growth, stability, and inflation protection.

Balanced Liquidity and Growth: Consider liquid investments like mutual funds and FDs for accessible funds. These can support liquidity while generating returns.

Key Takeaways for a Secure Future
Avoid Concentration in Real Estate: Since you already hold residential and commercial property, too much allocation to real estate could limit liquidity and growth opportunities. Financial assets offer more flexibility.

Tax Optimization: By consulting a tax advisor, you can strategically reinvest and claim exemptions, optimizing your tax outgo while achieving your financial goals.

Active Monitoring and Review: Regularly review your portfolio, especially in mutual funds, with the assistance of a Certified Financial Planner. This ensures alignment with your goals and adapts to market changes.

Final Insights
Selling your plot offers a unique opportunity to balance asset allocation between real estate and financial assets. By investing in a residential property for personal use and diversifying into financial assets, you achieve both stability and growth potential.

Your disciplined approach to financial planning is commendable. With a balanced strategy, you can maximise both security and growth for a prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6965 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024Hindi
Money
Dear Mr. Ramalingam Kalirajan, I am 51 years old, single with no dependent. currently I own a portfolio of INR 1.3 Cr in which 40 L is in MF and 10L in Bond and 10L in Gold. 50L in direct Shares and another 20L in Insurance (Ulip). apart from this I have a Flat which is worth of 60L. my Monthly expenses is around 40K, currently I am planning to retire, kindly let me know whether with this investment can I retire keeping life expectancy of 70-80 years. kindly advice.
Ans: It’s commendable that you’ve accumulated a substantial portfolio and are considering retirement thoughtfully. Let's evaluate each asset class within your portfolio to assess your retirement readiness.

Monthly Income Needs and Existing Assets

You mentioned monthly expenses of Rs 40,000.
Over a 20-30 year retirement period, inflation may gradually increase this amount. A sustainable withdrawal strategy will help address this.
Given a life expectancy of 70-80 years, a monthly income from investments is essential to meet your needs without depleting your corpus.
Mutual Funds

Your mutual fund corpus of Rs 40 lakh could play a key role in providing regular income.

Actively managed funds, unlike index funds, allow expert fund managers to navigate market conditions. They aim for growth even in uncertain markets.
These funds can also be diversified across equity and debt categories to maintain balance. Equity funds can support growth, while debt funds can offer stability and liquidity.
Suggested Action

Retain and build your mutual fund corpus. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) offer guidance, minimizing risk while aiming for returns.
Setting up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) can provide monthly income in a tax-efficient manner. SWP helps maintain principal while generating steady cash flow.
Direct Share Investments

With Rs 50 lakh in direct shares, your exposure to the equity market is significant.

Direct shares can be volatile and may not always align with the cash flow needs of retirement.
However, with proper management, shares may serve as a growth engine in your portfolio.
Suggested Action

Gradually shift part of your direct shares to diversified equity mutual funds. They provide professional management, spreading risk across sectors and companies.
Review the remaining stocks for potential dividends. Dividend-yielding stocks can complement your monthly cash flow needs.
Bond Investments

Your Rs 10 lakh in bonds offers stability but limited growth. Bonds are more effective as a balance to higher-growth assets like equities.

Bonds have fixed interest, but they may not keep up with inflation. Over time, they could lose purchasing power.
Suggested Action

Retain some bonds for safety but consider partially reallocating to debt mutual funds. Debt funds offer liquidity and potentially better post-tax returns than traditional bonds.
Maintain a mix of short and medium-term debt funds. These provide safety while possibly enhancing returns over traditional fixed-income instruments.
Gold Holdings

Gold can serve as a hedge in times of market volatility, and your Rs 10 lakh in gold contributes to a diversified portfolio.

However, gold alone may not generate regular income. It is more useful for capital preservation.
Suggested Action

Keep your gold as a long-term hedge but avoid expanding your holdings in gold.
For income generation, focus on growth-oriented assets like equity or hybrid funds, which combine equity and debt in a balanced manner.
Insurance (ULIP)

Your Rs 20 lakh in a Unit Linked Insurance Plan (ULIP) provides both insurance and investment. However, ULIPs can come with high charges and may not yield optimal returns.

Suggested Action

It is advisable to consider surrendering or partially exiting the ULIP.
Reinvest the proceeds into mutual funds, which offer greater flexibility, transparency, and cost-efficiency. A term insurance policy can cover any remaining insurance needs.
Real Estate

You own a flat valued at Rs 60 lakh, which can provide security or rental income if required. However, real estate as an asset is typically illiquid, and immediate access to funds can be challenging.

Suggested Action

If rental income isn’t feasible, consider whether this asset aligns with your retirement goals. Selling the property can free up funds for more liquid investments.
Alternatively, keep it as a fallback option but prioritize liquid and income-generating investments for cash flow needs.
Creating a Sustainable Income Stream

To cover Rs 40,000 monthly expenses, an ideal approach is to create a mix of income sources from your portfolio:

A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from equity and hybrid mutual funds could provide monthly income while maintaining the principal.
Dividends from shares, if selected well, can further support your cash flow.
For liquidity, a portion in debt mutual funds or bonds can cover emergencies.
Optimizing Tax Efficiency

Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity mutual funds above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%, and short-term gains at 20%.
Debt funds, on the other hand, are taxed per your income tax slab.
Setting up withdrawals strategically can help minimize tax impact and extend the life of your corpus.
Maintaining Emergency Funds

Since you are planning for a lengthy retirement, set aside a portion of liquid assets as an emergency reserve. This could be a mix of cash, liquid mutual funds, and short-term debt funds.

A sufficient emergency fund provides a buffer without disrupting your main investment portfolio.
It ensures that you won’t need to liquidate assets in unfavorable market conditions.
Healthcare Planning

Without dependents, healthcare planning is crucial to address any unforeseen medical expenses. Consider a robust health insurance policy to minimize out-of-pocket costs.

If you already have health insurance, evaluate the coverage for adequacy.
Top-up plans can provide extra protection without a large increase in premiums.
Finally

Your retirement plan appears well-structured with diversified investments, yet a few refinements could ensure financial security. By consolidating your portfolio for income generation and stability, you can enjoy a comfortable and financially independent retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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