Hello Ma'am, hope you're doing good. My problem is that something happened with me and I have started questioning my marriage. I and my wife are married 12 years ago after a lot of struggle as her parents were not ready because of our different caste and religion. Later we got married with their blessings. she is a very nice woman. After marriage, my business started going well and we're financially very well. We live with my parents and our two kids. Everything was going fine (obviously we do fight) until I met my business partner's sister who is a divorcee and I didn't know how but I started feeling attraction towards her. Recently, I dreamt of cheating on my wife with her. Since I am not able to hold proper eye contact with my wife and even I have started questioning my love for my wife. Has it ended ? I am very tensed since then.

Let’s draw out the perspectives here.

Both of you are married and when you had the chance, you didn’t tell each other.

Now, you have discovered that ‘missed out’ moment and want to make up for it now when families have grown.

How would you advise a friend, if he came to you with this situation?

Would you ask him to leave his family and move in with his lady love? Would you ask him to forget his familial responsibilities and search for love outside?

Again, it is not for me to give you solutions but to lead you to a place where you can find the solution yourself.

So, now that you friend has moved in with his lady love, will he forget his family?

His son for who he will always be a role model? Also, what will he tell his wife who had no role to play into the storm in her life?

The key is that there are 4 mature adults and I guess it’s time for you and the lady that you love to sit down and discuss what happens if you continue in your marriages or move away.

Discuss with your respective spouses as well, as they need to be party to this so that their thoughts and feelings are taken into consideration.

After all, they came into your lives, to become life partners. Whatever the decision, always bear in mind, if you continue in your marriage, do it with full heart as you need to rebuild it and if you move away, your son and his state of mind must be cared for, so make sure you create a wonderful environment for them and care for their needs always.

Also, ask yourself this: What will I lose if I move away from my marriage? What is it that I truly love in my wife?

Life is filled with temptations and sometimes we want some change, some spark…it’s possible in the existing relationship only if you choose to look at it that way. Ultimately, the decision is yours, but there’s a lot to consider and reconsider.

Go deep into a reflective mode and choose.