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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Ma'am, hope you're doing good. My problem is that something happened with me and I have started questioning my marriage. I and my wife are married 12 years ago after a lot of struggle as her parents were not ready because of our different caste and religion. Later we got married with their blessings. she is a very nice woman. After marriage, my business started going well and we're financially very well. We live with my parents and our two kids. Everything was going fine (obviously we do fight) until I met my business partner's sister who is a divorcee and I didn't know how but I started feeling attraction towards her. Recently, I dreamt of cheating on my wife with her. Since I am not able to hold proper eye contact with my wife and even I have started questioning my love for my wife. Has it ended ? I am very tensed since then.

Ans: It's normal to feel conflicted and unsure when you start experiencing attraction towards someone outside of your marriage. However, it's important to remember that attraction alone doesn't necessarily mean that your love for your wife has ended.

Before jumping to conclusions or making any drastic decisions, it might be helpful to take some time to reflect on your feelings and the reasons behind them. Ask yourself questions like: What specifically attracted me to this other person? Are there any underlying issues in my marriage that might be contributing to these feelings? Am I feeling unfulfilled or disconnected from my wife in any way?

It could also be beneficial to have open and honest communication with your wife about what you're going through. Sharing your feelings with her, even if they're difficult, can help strengthen your bond and provide clarity for both of you. Remember to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding, and be prepared to listen to her perspective as well.

Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can also be incredibly helpful in navigating these complex emotions and making decisions that are best for you and your family. They can provide you with guidance, perspective, and strategies for coping with your feelings in a healthy way.

Ultimately, it's important to prioritize honesty, communication, and empathy in your relationship, and to take the time to explore your feelings and needs before making any decisions about your marriage.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 27, 2021

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Relationship
For many years I was in love with my best friend who I thought wasn’t interested in me. I did not pursue her when I should have because I cared for our friendship. After I got married I was never really happy nor could I forget her. I even told my wife about the girl I loved. She was okay about it because we both felt it was one sided. Recently I discovered that she loved me all these years but both of us never had the courage to take it further. When we got together, we realized how much we missed each other all these years. Neither of us are happy in our marriage and this news has really disturbed me. I feel emotionally and physically distanced from my wife and I feel guilty about it because she is not at fault. I have a son and I am not in a position to abandon him or my wife. But I am not able to sleep or stop thinking about starting a perfect life with her. I have a stable career but now I am not able to focus on anything. Anu mam, please guide me how to find a solution for both of us.
Ans: Dear B, Catch -22 situation indeed here.

Let’s draw out the perspectives here.

Both of you are married and when you had the chance, you didn’t tell each other.

Now, you have discovered that ‘missed out’ moment and want to make up for it now when families have grown.

How would you advise a friend, if he came to you with this situation?

Would you ask him to leave his family and move in with his lady love? Would you ask him to forget his familial responsibilities and search for love outside?

Again, it is not for me to give you solutions but to lead you to a place where you can find the solution yourself.

So, now that you friend has moved in with his lady love, will he forget his family?

His son for who he will always be a role model? Also, what will he tell his wife who had no role to play into the storm in her life?

The key is that there are 4 mature adults and I guess it’s time for you and the lady that you love to sit down and discuss what happens if you continue in your marriages or move away.

Discuss with your respective spouses as well, as they need to be party to this so that their thoughts and feelings are taken into consideration.

After all, they came into your lives, to become life partners. Whatever the decision, always bear in mind, if you continue in your marriage, do it with full heart as you need to rebuild it and if you move away, your son and his state of mind must be cared for, so make sure you create a wonderful environment for them and care for their needs always.

Also, ask yourself this: What will I lose if I move away from my marriage? What is it that I truly love in my wife?

Life is filled with temptations and sometimes we want some change, some spark…it’s possible in the existing relationship only if you choose to look at it that way. Ultimately, the decision is yours, but there’s a lot to consider and reconsider.

Go deep into a reflective mode and choose.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Ma'am , Please keep my identity confidential. I am facing a very unique problem, I am happily married man for last 18 years with 2 children, before my current marriage in 2003 my Marriage was fixed with a girl ( I was based out of Singapore at That time, I work in management position in one of top IT companies now in India) who was a very distant relative ( her Bhabhi and my Bhabhi were cousins). for some health reason at that time I backed out of from that marriage and when I was better we proposed marriage to her again but then she was already engaged. later I got married to my wife and she too has got married ( I am not in touch with her not knows anything about her husband and never tried to find out. even though I know that my elder brother and her elder cousin have become good friend and I stayed in far off city from them. problem started for me in September 2023, out of no where I started getting bad creams about her. once I found here ( in dream) at nreaby place where she was in bad shape and i brought here home. my dream ended there that night. after that regularly started getting some dreams or other almost every early morning. as it was going to an arranged marriage i had never spoken to here , not a single word. but since then dreams have not stopped some time negative and sometime positive like we are enjoying life together. one of psychologist suggested me to fins out about here current status just to validate that she is all fine in here life but I could not as no one from my family supported the idea of getting touch with as I have no details of her except she is married and working as Teacher ( she is M.Sc. B.ED) . Please guide me if there is normal and what can I do as these dream are not stopping and I am getting so involved that I am unable to forget her, Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Dreams can just play out like a movie on what bothers you or what you are fearful of or even things that you feel happy about. Certain experts also suggest that dreams can help in resolving underlying issues.
Whatever it is, do remember what you said: I am happily married man for last 18 years with 2 children.
The past better be where it must be. To go into what the other lady is doing and knowing her current status is only going to get you more entangled into her life. Do you really want this entanglement? Do you really wish to be a part of a situation where you spend mind cycles to figure out if all is okay with her and in the bargain disturb the peace in your life? I am sure you know what the answers are.
Find solace in the fact that she must have people who care for her and who love her. This will to a large extent keep you from looping into her life even at a subconscious level. And also start to be more involved within your family...this will keep you engaged and also give you an assurance that you are in the right place with the right people meant for you.
The mind does what it is directed to do; so direct it toward actions that support your growth and peace of mind.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025
Relationship
Hi, my name is Dhruv, I have been married for 13 years. It was love marriage. We dont have any kids, though we tried but due to medical complications, we could not have a child. After a point of time, we both accepted the situation and moved on. Since last 3-4 years, slowly we have been drifting apart, though we are together but the love, feeling of togetherness has gone, we talk only about our regular lives, household chores, relatives etc but never about US. That feeling of being loved, even we don't hug each other anymore. Though we do care for each other but its not love anymore. Recently I met someone through work and somehow felt a connect with her, I could talk about things which I'm not able to talk with my wife. She make me feel that I'm still important and now I always think about her, want to be with her, talk to her. Though it makes me guilty also as somewhere in my heart I still love my wife and want to make it work. I am torn between what is right and what is wrong. If I think about myself, my happiness and t it hurts my wife, am I selfish or should I restrict my feelings, please advise way out
Ans: Dear Dhruv,
The easiest way to feel better when a relationship is failing is to get into another one. Searching for what you want in the original relationship cannot be found anywhere else; so giving into that temptation is only going to make things more confusing.
So, if you still love your wife and want to make it work, what have the two of you done so far to make things work?
Working on the marriage is a task that needs effort and a certain kind of stubborn nature that will help you cross over the the challenges that can emerge.
Your marriage now requires a complete RESET. So, push that button and go back to where it all began; no baggage, no expectations, no complaining...When you accept a situation, then do so fully...you can't have children; if you have accepted it then what's the reason to move apart. It only suggests that it was a compromise and not an acceptance.
Understand that acceptance is being graceful about the situation and being supportive of one another. Begin life afresh; date one another...laugh together, do things together. Bring back the little joys and bigger goals for marriage and life...
And most importantly, be in complete support of one another! That hidden love that you both share needs to be watered and nurtured even more...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1839 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear Madam, I was a bright student during my school days and my plan was to become a civil servant but that did not succeed even after several attempts. With the advise of my brother i went ahead and pursued Masters at a normal university in Sydney. I did internship and continued staying with my job though it wasn't my field of study. After that what came as a shock was my brother's divorce. We don't know what is the actual issue till date but I tried a lot to fix the gap by talking to his ex-wife but they were very orthodox. I couldn't see my brother suffer because he had planned and arranged so much for her. I had no choice then so i try to harm his ex-wife by spoiling her reputation thinking she will come back for him. In the mean time i got married to a girl who was her relative too thinking my wife can help us in some case but she turned out to be completely in the opposite direction. She was probably convinced by my brother's ex-wife or their relatives that she is not coming back. Even then my brother tried to go meet his ex-wife through many channels. My wife did not help him at all in any aspect. Finally the divorced happened and everything ended. Now we have sought several proposals but nothing seem to be a good fit for him. Most of the girls whom we met on matrimonial sites are fake profiles with something hidden or falsely represented. I would say my brother escaped all this. But we are worried about his life now as he is already in his 40's and he seem to be struggling for a good job and finance. He is very picky probably but doesn't talk much to all of us. Sometimes he even says the game is over so no point looking at a second marriage. My wife and he fought once when he visited us because she didn't want him in our house and she created a fight putting me in the front. After that he stopped coming to our house or see us or talk to us. Things even gets worse sometimes when her brother comes and visits us and stays at our house which my parents don't like. My parents argue that your brother was not allowed to stay for few months then how come her brother is allowed for several months. What kind of partiality is that? I feel i could not do anything for him despite the fact that he is my only brother. He is good at heart and looked after me when i went abroad financially and even came to meet me few times. I tried to send him money, gifts but he is still the same. He communicates with our parents but not with me nor my wife anymore. Kindly give us a good advise.
Ans: Your brother’s distance is not a rejection of you. It is his way of protecting himself. He went through a difficult marriage, an emotional collapse, and then watched people around him — including you — react out of desperation to fix things for him. Even though your intentions came from love, he may have associated those actions with more pain and pressure. When a person has been wounded, silence feels safer than conversation. His withdrawal simply means he is tired, not that he dislikes you.
You also need to understand that the guilt you are carrying is heavier than it needs to be. You tried to intervene in his marriage because you wanted to protect him, not because you wanted to cause harm. Looking back now, with more maturity and clarity, you see the mistakes, but at that time, you were acting out of fear and love. This is why it’s important to forgive yourself instead of punishing yourself over and over.
The conflict between your wife and your brother only added another layer of stress, because it forced you into choosing sides. Your wife reacted emotionally, your brother pulled away, your parents questioned the imbalance — and in the middle of all this, you lost your sense of peace. But their disagreements are not failures on your part. They are the natural result of people operating from insecurity, fear, and past hurt.
What needs to happen now is a shift in your role. You cannot continue trying to solve everything for everyone. You cannot carry your brother’s marriage, your wife’s fears, and your parents’ judgments all at once. It’s time to step out of the role of rescuer and step into the role of a grounded, calm brother who offers presence, not solutions.
Rebuilding your bond with your brother will not come from pushing proposals, sending gifts, or trying to fix his life. It will come from offering him emotional safety. A simple message, expressing that you are sorry for any hurt, that you care for him, and that you are available whenever he feels ready, will speak louder than any effort to arrange his future. Once you send such a message, the healthiest thing you can do is give him space. Sometimes relationships repair themselves in silence, when pressure is removed.
And for yourself, healing begins when you stop believing that every problem in the family rests on your shoulders. You have given more than enough over the years. Now you deserve emotional rest. You deserve peace. You deserve to feel like a brother, not a crisis manager.
Your brother may take time, but distance does not erase love. When he feels safe, he will come closer again. Your responsibility is not to force that moment, but to make sure you are emotionally steady and ready when it happens.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10881 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear sir This is regarding my mother's financials. She is 71 years old and she earns a pension of 31k p.m. She has FD's worth 60 lacs and earns interest income of Rs.25k. I wish to know if we can buy mutual funds worth 10 lacs by diverting funds from FD for better returns. She owns a house and does not have house rent commitment . She is currently investing 10k p.m in SIP . Now the lump sum investment of 5 lacs each is intended to be done in HDFC balanced advantage fund Direct Growth and ICICI Prudential balanced advantage fund . Please advise
Ans: You are caring about your mother’s future.
This shows deep responsibility.
Her financial base also looks strong today.
Her pension gives steady cash.
Her FD interest gives extra safety.
Her home is secure.
Her SIP shows healthy discipline.

» Her Present Financial Position
Your mother is 71.
Her age makes safety a key priority.
But some growth is also needed.

She gets Rs 31000 pension each month.
This covers most basic needs.
Her FD interest adds Rs 25000 per month.
So her total monthly inflow is near Rs 56000.
This is healthy at her age.

She owns her house.
She has no rent stress.
This gives great relief.

She has FD worth Rs 60 lakh.
This gives safe income.
She also runs a SIP of Rs 10000 per month.
This is a good step.
It keeps her connected to long-term growth.

Her total structure looks balanced.
She has safety.
She has income.
She has some growth exposure.
She has low liabilities.

This is a very stable base for her age.

» Understanding Her Risk Level
At age 71, risk must be low.
But risk cannot be zero.
Zero risk pushes money into FD only.
FD return stays low.
FD return sometimes falls after tax.
FD return often stays below inflation.

This reduces future buying power.
Inflation in India stays high.
Medical costs rise fast.
Home repair costs rise.
Daily needs rise.
So some growth is needed.

Balanced exposure gives stability.
Balanced allocation protects both sides.
She should not go too high on equity.
She should not avoid equity fully.
A middle path works best at this age.

Your idea of shifting Rs 10 lakh for growth is fine.
But the type of fund must be chosen well.
The plan must also follow her age.
Her risk must be respected.

» Impact of Growth Options at Her Age
Growth funds move with markets.
Markets move up and down.
These swings can disturb seniors.
But some controlled equity helps fight inflation.

Funds with mix of equity and debt help.
They adjust risk.
They protect capital better.
They manage volatility better.
They offer smoother experience.
They suit senior citizens more.

So a mild growth approach is healthy.
This gives better long-term value.
This gives inflation protection.
This reduces long-term stress.

Still, the fund choice must be careful.
And the plan style must be guided.

» Concerns With Direct Plans
You mentioned direct funds.
Direct funds seem cheap.
But cheap is not always better.

Direct funds give no guidance.
Direct funds give no review support.
Direct funds give no risk matching.
Direct funds need constant study.
Direct funds need skill.
Direct funds need time.

Many investors think direct plans save money.
But small savings can cause big losses.
Wrong choices reduce returns.
Wrong timing reduces gains.
Wrong exit increases tax.

Regular plans bring professional support through MFDs with CFP credentials.
They offer yearly reviews.
They track risk closely.
They guide corrections.
They support crisis moments.
They help in asset mix.
They help keep emotions stable.

This support is very helpful for seniors.
Your mother will not need to study markets.
She will not need to track cycles.
She will not need to worry about volatility.
She can stay calm.

So regular plans may suit her better.
The small extra fee is actually buying professional hand-holding.
This hand-holding protects wealth.
This reduces mistakes.
This brings long-term peace.

» Her Liquidity Need
At age 71, liquidity matters.
She must access money fast during emergencies.
Medical needs can arise.
Health cost can be sudden.
She must be ready.

FD gives quick access.
This is useful.
So FD should not be reduced too much.

Shifting Rs 10 lakh is acceptable.
But shifting more may reduce comfort.
She must always feel safe.
Her emotional comfort is important.

So Rs 10 lakh is the right level.
It keeps major FD corpus safe.
It keeps growth exposure controlled.

This balance supports her peace.

» Her Current SIP
She puts Rs 10000 per month in SIP.
This is positive.
This brings slow steady growth.
This builds long-term value.

She should continue this SIP.
She may reduce it later based on comfort.
But she should not stop it now.
This SIP adds inflation protection.
This SIP builds a small buffer.

A continuous SIP helps smooth markets.
It builds confidence.

» Income Stability for Her
Her pension covers needs.
Her FD interest adds comfort.
Her SIP invests for future needs.
Her home saves rent.

So she has stable income.
Her life standard is maintained.
Her risk level can stay low.

Her monthly cash flow is positive.
Her needs are covered.
So she need not worry about returns too much.
But a little growth is still healthy.

» Should She Shift Rs 10 Lakh From FD?
Yes, she can shift Rs 10 lakh.
This does not hurt her safety.
This does not shake her cash flow.
This supports inflation protection.

But the fund must be right.
The plan must match her age.
The risk must stay low.
The allocation must stay controlled.

A balanced strategy is better.
Smooth returns suit seniors.
Moderate risk suits her age.

Still, the fund must be in regular plan.
Direct plan may cause long-term risk.
Direct plans place the heavy load on the investor.
At her age, this stress is avoidable.
Regular plans give smoother support.

» Why Not Use the Specific Schemes Mentioned
The schemes you named are direct plans.
Direct plans give no support.
Direct plans leave all decisions to you.
Direct plans leave all risk checks on you.

Also, each fund has its own style.
Each adjusts differently.
You must check suitability.
You must review them yearly.
This needs time and skill.

For her age, this is not ideal.
A simple, guided, regular plan works better.

Also, some funds change risk levels fast.
Some increase equity without warning.
Some change style in market shifts.
This can disturb seniors.
She must stay with stable funds.
She must stay with guided models.

This protects her long-term peace.

» The Role of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds suit Indian markets.
India grows fast.
Sectors rise and fall fast.
Many companies grow fast.
Many also fall fast.

Active managers study these shifts.
They adjust quicker.
They avoid weak sectors.
They add strong businesses.
They protect downside.
They enhance upside.

Index funds cannot do this.
Index funds copy indices.
Indices carry weak companies also.
Indices carry overpriced stocks.
Indices do not avoid bad phases.
Indices cannot change weight fast.
So index funds give no defensive shield.

Actively managed funds work harder.
They try to reduce shocks.
They try to smooth volatility.
This suits seniors more.

So an active regular plan through an MFD with CFP credentials is better for her.

» Tax Angle on Mutual Fund Redemption
Capital gain rules matter.
For equity funds, long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh have 12.5% tax.
Short-term gains have 20% tax.
Debt fund gains follow your tax slab.

Senior investors must plan exits well.
They must avoid excess tax shock.
They must stagger withdrawals.
They must redeem only when needed.

A guided regular plan helps avoid tax mistakes.
Direct funds offer no such guidance.

» Her Emergency Preparedness
At her age, emergency readiness is key.
She must have quick cash.
She must have easy access.
Her FD base helps this.

She has Rs 60 lakh in FD.
This is strong.
She should keep most of this.
Maybe an emergency bucket of Rs 5 to 10 lakh must stay fully liquid.

This brings peace.
This prevents panic.
This avoids forced redemption.

» Family Support System
You are involved.
This protects her retirement.
You can offer emotional help.
You can offer decision help.
This support makes her financial life safe.

Family support keeps stress low for seniors.
She will feel secure.
She will stay calm during market changes.

» How Her Future Years Can Stay Stable
She needs comfort.
She needs safety.
She needs liquidity.
She needs some growth.
She needs health cover.
She needs emotional peace.

A control-based plan helps:
– Keep most money in FD
– Keep some in balanced mutual funds
– Keep SIP running
– Keep money easily accessible
– Keep risk low
– Keep asset mix simple
– Keep tax impact low
– Keep reviews yearly

This keeps her retirement smooth.

» Built-In Protection for Senior Life
Her plan must also protect future risk.
Medical cost may rise.
Home repairs may occur.
Occasional family support may be needed.

So she must:
– Keep cash bucket
– Keep healthy insurance
– Keep documents updated
– Keep financial papers organised
– Keep digital and physical files safe

This brings long-term safety.

» Withdrawal Strategy
She may not need withdrawals now.
Her income covers expenses.
But she may need money in later years.

She should follow a layered method:

Short-term needs from FD

Medium needs from balanced funds

Long-term needs from SIP corpus

Emergency money from liquid FD

This spreads risk.
This avoids sudden losses.
This protects her capital.

» Assessing the Rs 10 Lakh Transfer
This transfer is fine.
But it must not go to direct plans.
It must go to regular plans.
Guided plans reduce mistakes.
Guided plans suit seniors.

Split into two funds is fine.
But avoid too much complexity.
Simple structure reduces stress.
Easy structure improves clarity.

So two regular plans through an MFD with CFP credentials is ideal.

» Final Insights
Your mother has a strong base.
Her pension is stable.
Her FD pool is healthy.
Her home reduces cost.
Her SIP adds growth.

Adding Rs 10 lakh into balanced mutual funds is a good idea.
But shift to regular plans with expert guidance.
Direct plans are not suitable for seniors.
They bring more risk.
They bring more complexity.
They bring more stress.

Regular plans bring reviews.
Regular plans match risk.
Regular plans reduce mistakes.
Regular plans suit her age.

Her future looks stable with this mix.
Her life can stay comfortable.
She can enjoy her senior years with peace.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10881 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 53 years with a wife and two children. My total savings comprising of MF, Shares, PDF,EPF, NPS & FD are approx. 3Cr. Our current monthly outgoing including SIPs is approximately 100000. Will the above savings amount be sufficient to sustain for the next 20 years?
Ans: You have managed to build Rs 3 Cr by age 53.
This shows steady discipline.
Your savings mix also looks balanced.
Your family seems stable.
Your cost control also looks fair.
This gives a good base for the next stage of life.

» Your Current Position
Your savings stand near Rs 3 Cr.
Your monthly outflow is near Rs 100000.
This includes your SIP amount also.
Your family has four members.
You have two children.
Your wife is with you.
You have a mixed pool across MF, shares, PF, EPF, NPS, and FD.
This mix brings both growth and stability.
This gives you a good base.

Your age is 53.
You have around 7 to 12 working years left.
This period is crucial.
Your decisions now shape the next 20 years.
Your savings rate also matters.
Your cost control also shapes the future.

Today’s numbers show you have a good foundation.
But sustainability depends on many factors.
We must study inflation, spending pattern, growth pattern, tax, risk level, health cost, and cash flow flexibility.

» Understanding the Cash Flow Stress
Your family spends around Rs 100000 today.
This includes SIP.
After retirement, SIP will stop.
But living costs will continue.
Costs increase each year.
Inflation can eat cash fast.
So we must ensure growth in wealth.
Slow growth can stress the corpus.
Fast growth brings more shocks.
So balance is key.

Rs 3 Cr looks large today.
But 20 years is long.
Inflation reduces buying power.
Medical costs also rise.
Family needs also shift.

Your money can last 20 years.
But it needs correct planning.
Blind use of the corpus will not help.
Proper flow matters.
Proper asset selection also matters.
You need steady growth.
You need low shocks.
You need stable income.

» Role of Growth Assets
Many families fear growth assets.
But growth assets are needed today.
Inflation is strong in India.
If money stays in FD only, it suffers.
FD return stays low.
Post-tax return stays even lower.
FD return does not beat inflation.
FD cannot support long-term plans.

Mutual funds bring better growth.
Actively managed funds bring better research.
They allow expert judgement.
They can handle market swings better.
They study sectors and businesses.
They adjust the portfolio.
They aim for more consistent returns.
This helps protect wealth.

Some people choose direct plans.
But direct plans need full time study.
They need skill.
They need discipline.
Most investors do not have the time.
Wrong choices can reduce returns.
Direct plans give no guidance.
Direct plans can reduce long-term peace.

Regular plans through an MFD with CFP credential give better support.
They help with reviews.
They help with corrections.
They help with rebalancing.
They help manage behaviour.
They save time and stress.

You already have MF exposure.
This is good.
You should keep this path.
Active fund management will help long-term stability.

» Role of Safety Assets
You have EPF, PPF, NPS, FD.
These give safety.
They give peace.
But they give lower return.
Too much safety reduces future income.
A mix of both is needed.

Safety assets give steady income.
But they do not grow fast.
They cannot support 20 years alone.
So balance must be kept.

» Assessing the Sustainability for 20 Years
Rs 3 Cr can support 20 years.
But it depends on:

Your retirement age

Your spending pattern

Your ability to reduce costs

Your asset mix

Your growth rate

Your inflation level

Your health cost

Your emergency needs

If your core expenses stay in control, your corpus can last.
If you invest well, your corpus can support you.
If you avoid panic, your wealth will grow.
Your children may also get settled.
Your own needs may reduce.

The key is proper planning.
Without planning, the corpus can shrink fast.
With planning, it will last long.

» Inflation Impact
Inflation is silent.
It eats buying power.
Costs double every few years.
Food rises.
Health rises.
Daily life rises.
School fees rise.
Lifestyle rises.

If your money grows slower than inflation, you lose power.
So growth assets must be part of the plan.
They help beat inflation.
They help protect lifestyle.
They help support long-term needs.

This is why active mutual funds stay useful.
They bring research-driven decisions.
They help fight inflation better.
They stay flexible.
They move with the economy.

» Evaluating Your Retirement Readiness
You stand near retirement zone.
You still have some working life.
You still earn.
You still save.
Your income supports your SIP.
This is good.
This is the right stage to improve planning.

Your SIP amount builds future cash.
Your insurance must be proper.
Your emergency fund must be strong.
Your health cover must be strong.

You have PF and NPS.
These give safety.
They bring stability.
They give steady return.
But they do not give high return.
Growth will come from MF and equity.

Your retirement readiness depends on:

Cash flow plan

Growth plan

Insurance plan

Medical cover plan

Long-term income plan

Withdrawal plan

When all parts align, you will stay secure.

» Withdrawal Strategy for the Future
When you retire, cash flow must stay smooth.
You cannot depend on FD alone.
You cannot depend only on EPF.
You cannot depend on one asset class.
You need a mix.

Your withdrawal should come from:

Some from safety assets

Some from growth assets

Some from periodic rebalancing

This helps you avoid panic selling.
This helps you maintain stability.
This protects your lifestyle.

Tax must also be managed.
Tax on equity MF has new rules.
Long-term gain above Rs 1.25 lakh has 12.5% tax.
Short-term gain has 20% tax.
Debt MF gain follows your tax slab.
These rules shape your withdrawal plan.
You must plan redemptions wisely.

» Health and Family Factors
Health cost is rising in India.
Hospital bills rise fast.
Health shocks drain savings.
So good health cover is needed.
Family needs must be studied.

Your children may still need some support.
Their education or marriage may need funds.
These costs must be planned early.
You should not dip into retirement money.
Clear planning avoids stress.

Your wife also needs future support.
Joint planning is better.
Shared decisions help discipline.

» Need for a Structured Review
A structured review every year is needed.
Your income may change.
Your savings may rise.
Your spending may shift.
Your goals may change.
Your risk level may shift.
Your family needs may change.

Review helps you stay on track.
Review helps catch issues early.
Review helps you correct mistakes.
Review brings peace.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide reviews.
This support builds confidence.
This reduces stress.
This brings clarity.

» How to Strengthen Your Position
You already stand strong.
But you can still improve.
Here are some steps to make your 20 years safer.

Keep your growth-safety mix balanced

Increase your SIP when income allows

Avoid direct plans if guidance needed

Use regular plans for proper support

Avoid real estate due to low returns

Increase your emergency fund

Improve your health cover

Avoid ULIP and mixed plans if you ever have them

Review your EPF and NPS allocation

Track your spending carefully

Plan for yearly rebalancing

Keep enough liquidity for short needs

Keep boredom decisions away

Stay invested even in tough times

Trust long-term compounding

Each step adds stability.
Your family will feel safe.

» Building a Strong Future Income Flow
Income must not come from one basket.
Income should come from:

MF SWP

PF interest

FD ladder

NPS withdrawal in a slow way

Equity redemption in a planned way

This spreads risk.
This spreads tax.
This spreads stress.

Staggered withdrawal helps peace.
Your money grows even while you spend.
Your corpus stays healthy.

» Maintaining Low Stress in Retirement
Retirement should be peaceful.
Money stress should be low.
Good planning ensures this.

Keep clear communication with your family.
Keep your files organised.
Keep your goals updated.
Keep calm during market swings.

Your corpus can support you.
Your strategy will shape your peace.

» Final Insights
Your Rs 3 Cr corpus is a strong base.
Your age gives you time to improve more.
Your monthly spending is manageable.
Your asset mix supports your future.

But planning is needed.
Cash flow must be aligned with inflation.
Growth assets must stay active.
Safety assets must be balanced.
Withdrawal must be planned wisely.
Health cost must be covered.
Risk must be contained.

With proper planning, your wealth can support the next 20 years.
Your family can live with comfort.
Your lifestyle can stay stable.
Your future can stay safe.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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