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Boyfriend Chatting with Another Girl - Can I Trust Him?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |612 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hello ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

One more thing- if you really are thinking of taking this ahead, please make sure to meet up in person before committing. Love can happen online but for your safety, meeting IRL is very important.

Hope this helps.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |612 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship
I am a girl who met a muy in a friendly chat app and been talking to him through text and calls since the past 6 months...he told me about his past 3 breakups which were online too and he didnt meet those girls.He told he loved my nature and loves me madly n cannot live without me..i was moving with him as a friend initially,but feeling turned into love gradually..he lied to me about his name too n i found many a times flirting and chatting with other girls.Still i have forgiven as he is my first love. Recently,I met with an accident and was in a serious condition ..my phone was with my relative and she told him about my condition when he put a message to me.He even asked my relatives about the hospital address n my relative has given it. He didn't turn up and was chatting online with other girls till early morning n continued later too by chatting n cracking jokes when i was in such a serious condition.A friend of mine told me about this. When i confronted him after my discharge,he told my relative didnt give the response which is a lie ..as the proof chatting with other girls is there..n later he didnt even text to know how am i for 2days.. I am an emotional girl ,attaching n detaching is a bit difficult thing...i am broken ..when he didnt love me ..what made him use the words like he cannot live without me n will marry me. He asked for a chance,i am fed up of his lies..i made him introduce to my parents also..When i am so true to him..why does he need to chat n flirt with other girls?..even after knowing my condition instead of meeting me..he was chatting.. We still didnt meet,thought of meeting n met with an accident Does he deserve an other chance or should i leave him,please suggest mam.Why is he doing so?.I even helped him small amounts financially too when he asked for.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very concerned about the last part of your question where you mentioned helping him financially. We ask all our dating app users not to discuss money let alone involve in a financial transaction with an online match. It gives me the impression that he might have been pursuing the relationship with you for monetary benefits; I am not saying that with surety but there is always a chance of that happening.

And now let's address your main concern- if you should give him another chance. I cannot decide that for you but let me ask you one thing- do you think you deserve to be with a person who did not care that you were in a critical condition and continued flirting with others? Even if we keep your accident aside, do you think it is a healthy relationship where one partner keeps flirting with people outside the relationship? I don't think so.

Please make the right choice and don't focus on momentary happiness, think about how this relationship will affect your future.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 08, 2025
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Could be many reasons. Maybe his physical needs aren't being met. Maybe he is not attaracted to you anymore . Love is not permanent in all scenarios. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't have expectations

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |612 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |612 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |612 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9709 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Money
In my earlier question reg taxability and tax treatment of SBI life Smart Wealth Builder Policy maturity gain income please read the annual premium as Rs 40,000/- in place of ' Rs.4000/-'. Please see the question and reply urgently as it will help me and many others.
Ans: Let’s now re-assess the taxability of the maturity amount from your SBI Life Smart Wealth Builder Policy, assuming the annual premium is Rs 40,000, not Rs 4,000.

? Taxability Depends on Section 10(10D) Conditions

– Life insurance policy maturity proceeds are exempt under Section 10(10D) if conditions are met.

– One main condition: Annual premium must be less than 10% of sum assured (if policy issued after 1-Apr-2012).

– You mentioned annual premium is Rs 40,000. Now check the sum assured in your policy.

– If the sum assured is at least Rs 4,00,000 or more, then 10(10D) exemption applies.

– In that case, entire maturity amount will be tax-free, no tax to be paid.

? When Tax Becomes Applicable

– If the premium exceeds 10% of the sum assured, then 10(10D) exemption is lost.

– The entire maturity amount becomes taxable under "Income from Other Sources".

– However, death benefit is always tax-free.

– Also note: From FY 2023-24, high premium policies (total annual premium above Rs 5 lakh) have additional tax rules.

– But your premium is only Rs 40,000, so these new rules will not apply.

? If 10(10D) Exemption Is Lost, Then

– You have to pay tax on maturity proceeds as per your income slab.

– Only the amount received above the total premiums paid will be treated as taxable.

– For example, if you receive Rs 3 lakh maturity and you paid total Rs 2.4 lakh premiums (over 6 years), then Rs 60,000 is taxable.

– Tax rate will be as per your applicable income tax slab.

? TDS Rules to Remember

– If the maturity amount is taxable, TDS at 5% will be deducted on income portion only.

– If you submit Form 15G/15H (and eligible), you may avoid TDS.

– But still, you will have to show the income in your ITR and pay tax as needed.

? What You Can Do Now

– Check your policy document or online account for exact sum assured.

– If sum assured is 10 times or more of annual premium (Rs 40,000), then you’re safe.

– The maturity amount will be tax-free under Section 10(10D).

– If not, calculate the taxable portion and plan to declare it in your ITR.

– Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for accurate reporting and reinvestment advice.

? Final Insights

– With Rs 40,000 premium, you’re likely within the tax-free zone if sum assured is Rs 4 lakh or more.

– New taxation rules on insurance do not affect you unless total annual premiums exceed Rs 5 lakh, which they don’t.

– Always keep maturity documents, premium payment proofs and policy details handy at tax filing time.

– For better long-term growth and tax efficiency, consider future investments in mutual funds through MFDs with CFP credential instead of insurance-linked investments.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8643 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi
Career
My son is getting IIIT Vadodara IT, RVCE - CSE (specialization w/AI ML) and BITS - HYD Electronics and Instrumentation or MSc Nanoscience and Semiconductors at BITS Pilani. Which option would be the best? Consdering placements, college life, future scope etc. He has somwhat interest in IT related branches, Will ENI @ BITS Hyd be good? Can he get into somewhat IT related stuff through that branch? Same for Msc Semiconductor and Nanoscience @ BITS Pilani, is MSc degeee worth it? Is Dual degree (after first year a good option @ BITS?)
Ans: IIIT Vadodara’s IT programme, NBA-accredited since 2013, reports a 2024 B.Tech placement rate of 61.4%, with an average package of ?11.34 LPA and median ?9 LPA across 53 recruiters, supported by project-based learning and industry tie-ups. RVCE’s CSE (AI & ML) specialization leverages its 100% CSE placement tradition, achieving a 75% placement rate in 2024 (93% in 2023) and an average CSE package of ?19 LPA through top firms like Microsoft and Cisco, within a vibrant campus culture and active student clubs. BITS Hyderabad’s Electronics & Instrumentation offers 60 seats, practice-school internships, and around 95% placement consistency with an average ?14–15 LPA, backed by NAAC A++ accreditation and cutting-edge digital-manufacturing labs. BITS Pilani’s newly introduced M.Sc. in Semiconductor and Nanoscience, aligned with the India Semiconductor Mission and National Quantum Mission, provides interdisciplinary training in nanofabrication and device physics, strong ISRO/DRDO collaborations, but lacks placement data due to its 2025 launch; prospective dual-degree switches to B.E. are limited to top performers after the first year and are highly competitive.

Recommendation: For immediate IT alignment and strong core outcomes, opt for RVCE CSE (AI & ML); choose IIIT Vadodara IT for balanced placement and academic rigor; pursue BITS Hyderabad E&I if instrumentation and IoT appeal; join BITS Pilani M.Sc. only if committed to research and willing to navigate the competitive dual-degree pathway. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8643 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Career
Sir, for my daughter, Which is better? IIITDM Kancheepuram Smart Manufacturing or VNIT Nagpur Meatallurgical and Materials Engineering or IIIT Trichy ECE or drop an year to target IITs next year? No inclination to any specific branch, but having interest to do Masters abroad after Engineering, thanks
Ans: Sadhana Madam, Among the four pathways, IIITDM Kancheepuram’s Smart Manufacturing programme stands out for its interdisciplinary curriculum that merges advanced manufacturing processes, Industry 4.0 technologies, IoT, big data analytics, and robotics within a government-funded Institute of National Importance framework, supported by five-month industry internships and modern digital-manufacturing and CPS labs. VNIT Nagpur’s Metallurgical & Materials Engineering, a four-decade-old NIT ranked 39th by NIRF, offers a rigorous core materials-science syllabus, well-equipped failure-analysis and pilot-plant facilities, strong research projects with R&D organisations, and extensive testing and consultancy collaborations. IIIT Trichy’s ECE, under the PPP model and NAAC A+ accreditation, delivers a focused VLSI, embedded-systems, and sensor-networks curriculum with small cohorts and dedicated laboratories, along with fellowship support for overseas research aspirations and integrated national scholarships. Opting to take a drop year to aim for IIT entrance may enhance access to premier institutions but carries considerable opportunity cost and uncertain success without exceptional discipline and coaching.

recommendation Prioritize IIITDM Kancheepuram Smart Manufacturing for its cutting-edge, interdisciplinary design-and-manufacturing focus and robust experiential learning that align with overseas master’s ambitions; consider IIIT Trichy ECE next for its specialized labs and fellowship pathways; choose VNIT Nagpur MME for its deep materials-research ecosystem; avoid dropping a year unless fully prepared for the competitive rigor required to secure an IIT seat. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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