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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |80 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Seetha Question by Seetha on Apr 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕

Ans: Its important you focus on 2 things for now - (1) your self esteem and your confidence & (2) your education and career. Once you are financially independent is when you can think of a serious relationship - all the best.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |968 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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Relationship
Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha , Iam in Inter 2 ne year now and yes it is yet to complete in two days and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk big longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Iam a person whiny understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 5 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but yesterday I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have Naeem friends ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me only I was ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away for one year or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Dear Seetha,
Yes, please stay away from this boy.
He has no clarity about what he wants or what he is doing. He wants you around and then doesn't and then again on his terms. Both of you need to become emotionally mature to handle a relationship.

Like he said: Give yourselves that time and space to focus on studies first. If you add all these confusions, your studies will suffer and you will end up feeling frustrated.
Put down a goal list with a timeline for your forthcoming exams and keep a check at the end of the day as to how much you have accomplished. This is the age for focusing on academics as well besides relationships. Right now, what seems most useful for you is your focus on academics and having a strong friends circle. This will not only distract you but also allow you to see that there is a lot of life outside of this boy that you are stuck on...So, move on, take a break and enjoy life and study hard!

Best wishes for a bright future!

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Relationship
Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times and mam Highlighting this point —-mam we had passionate romance twice but not that intensely and now I feel regret of doing so if he leaves me ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Seetha, he proposed to you. Then you got physical with him, then he conveniently said you’re better off as friends and blocked you! And then came up with this one year test nonsense! He’s taking you for a ride, and you’re falling for it; don’t be so stupid. I understand that you’re young, but you haven’t done anything wrong and there is no need to feel guilty about anything that has happened. What is important, however, is that you understand this boy is not quite as wonderful as you think he is! He’s taken advantage of you and now he’s trying to worm his way out of it. Cut him off completely, he’s no good. Focus on your studies and if you meet someone else, no harm in exploring a relationship. But this worm doesn’t deserve a minute of your time or attention.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |968 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm 18years old girl.from last 4years one guy is loving me.he is 23years old right now.we didn't met but we are chatting in online and we are talking in mobiles also.he is behind of my house.we exchange our numbers also. but,actually i like him like a friend.but,he is loving so much to me.after that i got a praposal from our college senior.but,i didn't accept his praposal. we are changing our numbers and chatting and talking in mobiles.but,one day i accept him.actually i have an friend before i said who loves me from last 4years.now my friend is saying i want to marry you from last 2years.but,i didn't love him.he is caring like my mother from last 4years.he never misbehaving with me.he never talk rudely.but i said to him,I'm already in relationship since 3months with one guy.but,his said don't tell any thing to me.im loving you since last 4years.why did not accept my praposal.why you accept to him.he just you know from since 3months.but,im loving and caring from last 4 years.why you not accept me and why you accept his... I already spoke with him I'm in relationship with the guy who is of my college senior.but,he is not understanding.he said i love you and i want you only.i dont want any one.i need only you,he told me like that... Please tell me what will i do....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Please get away from this guy who says he has been in love with you for 4 years. He seems obsessed with you and you can be in a relationship with anyone that you wish to...
But also, you don't seem to be sire as to what you want to do...at 18, relationships can be confusing...why don't you focus on having more friends at college rather than getting into a serious relationship? There's always time for that seriousness later in life...build a good friend circle and put your energies into studying well and in a year or two when you display that maturity, you will be able to have better relationships...

All the best!

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am Afrin . I met this guy 3 years back through a dating app . We used to talk on weekends initially for few months . Then I started falling for him and I told him about it and that i would only like to continue if there is a future as we we can get married, he said he is Hindu and I am Muslim so it won't be possible for him so I strictly asked him not to contact me again as we want different things , after that we didn't talk for 4 months , and 4 months he called me again . I picked up , talked for two three weeks only on weekends and the same question i again asked he again said it won't be possible and I again told him not to contact me and he again stopped calling or texting me . After 6 months of this ,he again called ,I picked up. This time he said , he is moving to foreign country so it might be possible for him to marry . I believed , we kept talking now 3,4 days a week . We both were happy ,and enjoyed talking to each other , then finally after 2 years , he came to meet me from a different state . We met, i brought some of my friends with me . We spent 5 days , bt after 3 days ,I saw him behaving rudely .. I tried talking to him and I got to know that , since I was talking to my friends in our language , he misunderstood us thinking we were may be making fun of them . On 4th day , when my friends left , I went to his room and saw him using dating app .. I asked him to show me his phone he didnt show me and we had a heated argument. And he left me alone in that room , and the next day he had his flight .. i saw, he blocked me the day he left me in that room . I tried contacting him for the first in this two years but he blocked me every where . So , this way for 6 months I was blocked , after him unblocking me ,he neither called me not texted me , and I also didn't try to contact him . After after 1 year of him leaving me in that room, he called few days back , I picked up , and the way he was talking i dint like it as I could sense he was expecting the things from me which are against my values . And by now ,I lost feelings for him . So the first day I could say anything, the next day i told him clearly that i don't have feelings for him anymore , so if he is expecting something else from me he won't get it . If he wants to remain as friends he can ,rest I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore . And after two days he again blocked me . What should I do if he again calls me ? Should I just block him now ? Or should I talk to him normally?
Ans: Don't pick up. Move on. Don't talk to him. Start meeting other guys

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |596 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |229 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 29 year old bengali female married to a Bihar guy. We know each other since college and we have been married for 3 years. Things began to turn bitter after few months of our marriage. My husband is a govt. Employee has seen extreme poverty in his childhood. I belong to upper middle class family. Both of our parents were against our marriage. Now his family especially mother pressurise him for money that is beyond our reach. She thinks I stop him to give money. She constantly abuses my husband. He has two elder brother who are good for nothing,both are married have kids and even they expect financial help from us. I am very tensed we can't even think of spending a penny for our personal enjoyment. My husband understands all these but everytime falls into prey of my MIL'S emotional drama. She fakes illness or fights for money. I can't even share this with my family.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry to hear that you are in such a situation. It is indeed a very complex situation. Financial troubles can disrupt marital bliss. But it has to be addressed, even if it leads to conflicts. Speak to your husband about your concerns. Politely tell him that his family's demands and his response to them are causing a financial crisis in your home. Sit together and discuss how much financial support can you provide to his family and what's beyond reasonable. Have a monthly budget and since his family will continue asking for money, keep some money (what you have decided together) for the same. Keep an emergency fund and most importantly, have a decent amount of savings.

After all these discussions, if things still don't change, consider going for marriage counseling. You gave up an affluent life to be with him; he can surely give up certain things that are clearly unreasonable. A third neutral party can point this out without you having to say it.

You can also suggest your husband push his family members to get better jobs so that they can provide for themselves. Besides everything, don't forget to take care of yourself. Be in touch with your family and share your worries with someone close to you. And maintain regular check-ins with your husband. It can't be easy on him either.

Best Wishes.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |596 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2024Hindi
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Career
Which institution is best to subscribe for online prepation of JEE. Candidate here has also joined a offline/regular classes in a small town. Please suggest.
Ans: ALLEN Online Test Series. User-friendly / Instant Result with Answers and Time Taken for Each Question.

Some IMPORTANT Preparation Strategies for JEE Preparation: (Wherever the Subject 'You' is used here, it refers for your Candidate). (1) Whenever you study at home, study for 45-minutes. Then take a break of 10-minutes when you can move away from your study table, walk, have some water & relax. If you continue studying beyond 45-minutes, your concentration power will go down, resulting to low output. Most students commit this mistake. (2) On daily basis (morning or evening whichever will be convenient to you), do yoga or meditation or physical exercises or play any games / sports for at least 30-45 minutes. This will further reduce your stress / distractions. (3) Study tough topics / tough subjects (applicable to you) early morning with your fresh mind. (4) Eat a lot of green vegetables / fruits which you can afford for & avoid soft drinks (5) Every day nigh, before going to bed, revise whatever you have studied during the day. (6) Also, revise every week whatever you have covered till date (here your short-notes which you should prepare will be helpful). (7) Keep practizing questions on topics which you have covered either offline or online (8) Give utmost importance to wrongly answered / difficult / complicated / tough questions and have a separate note-book specially for this for each subject (PCM) (8) You might be aware that JEE rank is allotted on the basis of highest score in Maths, followed by Physics & Chemistry. Practice more and more in Maths, till you reach Speed & Accuracy (9) By the end of 11th / 12th standard (December-January), attempt fully syllabus online test series, evaluate and analyze your performance such as, (a) which topic / unit / concept you are weak which needs your revision and improvement as this will disturb you when you appear in actual JEE exam (b) abnormal time taken to attempt any question which you can come to know from Online Test Series which you should reduce (c) which questions you skipped and why? (10) Make 100% utilization of 'Doubt Clearing Sessions' of Offline Class you have joined. All the BEST.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, please ask / FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3899 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

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Money
I am 37 years old , and having 2.10 lacs salary in hand, I have SIP of Rs. 20k, apart from SIP I have invested in stock current market value is 10L, I have three flats which is cost approx 2.5 cr, i have a home loan as well of 35 lacs. Kindly guide me how I can achieve the milestone of 10 crore corpus in next 15 years.
Ans: Achieving a significant corpus like Rs. 10 crores in 15 years requires careful planning, disciplined investing, and leveraging various assets and investment avenues. Let's explore a comprehensive strategy to reach this financial milestone.

Current Financial Snapshot
Income and Investments
At 37 years old, with a salary of Rs. 2.10 lakhs per month, you have a solid foundation. Here's a snapshot of your current investments:

SIP Investment: Rs. 20,000 per month
Stock Investments: Current market value of Rs. 10 lakhs
Real Estate Holdings: Three flats valued at approximately Rs. 2.5 crores
Liabilities: Home loan of Rs. 35 lakhs
Strategic Roadmap to Achieve Rs. 10 Crore Corpus
1. Optimize Investment Portfolio
Review Existing Investments
Evaluate the performance and alignment of your current investments with long-term goals:

Stocks: Assess the potential for growth and consider diversification if necessary.
Real Estate: While real estate is valuable, ensure it aligns with your liquidity needs and financial goals. Consider rental income potential versus capital appreciation.
SIPs: Continue disciplined investing. Evaluate if the current SIP amount needs to be increased to meet the Rs. 10 crore target.
2. Increase Savings and Investments
Maximizing Monthly Contributions
Increase SIP Amount: Depending on your surplus income, consider increasing the SIP amount gradually. This accelerates wealth accumulation.
Bonus and Windfalls: Direct any windfall gains towards investments rather than discretionary spending.
3. Diversification and Risk Management
Balancing Risk and Return
Asset Allocation: Diversify across asset classes such as equity, debt, and possibly alternative investments like gold or international funds.
Risk Management: Regularly review and rebalance the portfolio to mitigate risks associated with market volatility.
4. Debt Management
Addressing Home Loan
Early Repayment: Explore options to accelerate home loan repayment to reduce interest burden and improve cash flow for investments.
Debt Consolidation: Consolidate high-interest debts if applicable to streamline finances and improve liquidity for investments.
5. Investment Avenues
Exploring Options Beyond SIPs
Equity Mutual Funds: Actively managed funds can potentially outperform passive funds like index funds due to strategic decisions by fund managers.
Debt Instruments: Consider debt funds for stability and regular income, balancing the portfolio against equity market fluctuations.
Systematic Transfer Plans (STP): Utilize STPs to stagger lump sum investments into equity funds, reducing timing risks.
6. Professional Guidance and Monitoring
Leveraging Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
Holistic Financial Planning: Engage with a CFP to develop a customized financial plan considering income, investments, goals, and risk appetite.
Periodic Reviews: Regularly review investment performance and adjust strategies based on changing life circumstances and market conditions.
Addressing Existing Policies and Investments
7. Insurance and Investment Policies
Surrender and Reinvest
LIC, ULIPs, Investment cum Insurance Policies: Evaluate existing policies for surrender value and consider reinvesting in more lucrative investment avenues like mutual funds for better returns.
Legal and Recovery Aspects
8. Recovering Debt
Legal Recourse
Documentation: Gather all evidence and communication related to the debt owed by your friend.
Legal Consultation: Seek legal advice to explore options like sending legal notices, mediation, or filing a suit in a court of law if necessary.
Financial Impact: While pursuing legal action, continue focusing on building your financial assets through disciplined investments.
Final Insights
Achieving a corpus of Rs. 10 crores in 15 years demands a balanced approach involving disciplined savings, strategic investments, and proactive debt management. Leveraging existing assets like stocks and real estate alongside increasing SIPs and exploring diverse investment avenues is key. Engaging with a Certified Financial Planner ensures a structured approach, optimizing your path towards financial independence and security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Dr Hemalata

Dr Hemalata Arora  |194 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

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Health
I am 77 years old. I was taking medicine for high BP from the age of 50 years.I was very active doing yoga regularly in the morning and doing walk in the evening. I do not smoke and do not drink as well. I am a person with height weight normal as per the standard chart. I was very active doing my job and never use to get tired. I worked for six years in Central Govt, thirty years in PSU and seventeen years in Private Organisations. I used to believe that " a Person should never retire from work". I stopped going to work from March 2020 after the Covid 19 spread in India. During a routine check up, my doctor mentioned on my prescription as "Stable Angina". I asked about it but he replied, it is nothing, do not worry. I was not having any pain etc. But this remark of Stable Angina. was written on my prescription on every visit. In June 2022, I got a CT Angiography done just to know the deposits in my arteries. It was found to be more in all the five arteries. But I had no symptoms of any pain or breathlessness while moving or working.In August 2022, I got some problem in my left eye, went to eye specialist, he observed a little deposit in eye nerve. He tried to break it but could not. I went for Angiography. All the arteries were found with deposits but still I had no pain etc. I was operated for Heart By pass Surgery on 22.9.22 and released from Hospital on 1.10.22. I was put on High Protein Diet. During Jan 23 to July 23, my Blood Urea Nitrogen & Urea got up the required level.High Protein Diet was stopped and advised take more Fruits. BUN & Urea came normal. More fruits were being taken. It caused potassium level to go up. Then in fruits also restriction imposed on banana, coconut water & citrus fruits. Now I am on restricted diet. BUN & Urea are normal but potassium remains fluctuating. Now I am alright but feel very weak. I do little walk but get tired soon. I am not able to do yoga due to low energy. Vitamin supplements are being taken but not getting strength. Even feels stability problem. While standing feels giddiness and feels that i may fall. I am also feeling severe pain in my arms muscles. Now I am taking medicines for BP, Cholesterol, Blood Thinner, Enlarged Prostrate Gland, Vitamin supplement. I always think why I am feeling so many problems after Heart Bye Pass Surgery. Please advise.
Ans: I feel you need your medications adjusted. They're probably making you feel like this.

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