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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |61 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Seetha Question by Seetha on Apr 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕

Ans: Its important you focus on 2 things for now - (1) your self esteem and your confidence & (2) your education and career. Once you are financially independent is when you can think of a serious relationship - all the best.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |835 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha , Iam in Inter 2 ne year now and yes it is yet to complete in two days and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk big longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Iam a person whiny understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 5 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but yesterday I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have Naeem friends ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me only I was ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away for one year or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Dear Seetha,
Yes, please stay away from this boy.
He has no clarity about what he wants or what he is doing. He wants you around and then doesn't and then again on his terms. Both of you need to become emotionally mature to handle a relationship.

Like he said: Give yourselves that time and space to focus on studies first. If you add all these confusions, your studies will suffer and you will end up feeling frustrated.
Put down a goal list with a timeline for your forthcoming exams and keep a check at the end of the day as to how much you have accomplished. This is the age for focusing on academics as well besides relationships. Right now, what seems most useful for you is your focus on academics and having a strong friends circle. This will not only distract you but also allow you to see that there is a lot of life outside of this boy that you are stuck on...So, move on, take a break and enjoy life and study hard!

Best wishes for a bright future!
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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times and mam Highlighting this point —-mam we had passionate romance twice but not that intensely and now I feel regret of doing so if he leaves me ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Seetha, he proposed to you. Then you got physical with him, then he conveniently said you’re better off as friends and blocked you! And then came up with this one year test nonsense! He’s taking you for a ride, and you’re falling for it; don’t be so stupid. I understand that you’re young, but you haven’t done anything wrong and there is no need to feel guilty about anything that has happened. What is important, however, is that you understand this boy is not quite as wonderful as you think he is! He’s taken advantage of you and now he’s trying to worm his way out of it. Cut him off completely, he’s no good. Focus on your studies and if you meet someone else, no harm in exploring a relationship. But this worm doesn’t deserve a minute of your time or attention.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |835 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2023

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Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it so easy for boys to talk about breakup ..pls tell urgently. I don't feel valued and respected as If I was imp for him he would not talk abt breakup so easily. After this everything went silent.. it was like don't know shall I wait or not .. but I realised I don't have value in his life ... Some days before He texted me do u wanna talk or not . I replied with same energy like he used to do. Then I asked him what happened for past 2 months i got the same reply .. I was really hurt but i guess he never realised I texted that u blanked out for 2 months I asked desperately but u never gave me proper answer .. I was hurt even then also u never realised... He replied Hmm .. So u wanna talk or not say clearly. Yes or no that's it ..At this time it hit hard .. And then asked do u want us to continue. He said yes then i said How will u continue when u don't know what happened to u .. u don't sound interested when i ask with some pressure u just say to leave and the said .. Chalo leave ... I am not gud for u. Even after that he sends me snaps ... So idk what is this situation and I am not in condition to ask him as well. Should I just leave his snaps unseen and focus on my career?
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,

If I recall, you had reached out to me earlier too and asked me about the same thing.
For some reason, you are not willing to believe that he is just playing around and not interested in a commitment that you are interested in.
In your own words: "but I realised I don't have value in his life." - When you have realized this, what more are you expecting from him?

I understand that you are hurt with his attitude and feel rejected...you are also possibly hoping for him to change and come back to you; will it happen? With what you have said about him: he wants to travel, he needs time...he has not broken up with you because there was no relationship that he was in with you at all. It is time for you to accept that this boy is currently not in a place where he wants to stick with you in a commitment. So, he makes all the excuses he can come up with...and when he can roam about with the other girl, does that not tell you that you seriously have no value in his life? How else do you want him to tell you, so that you can move on...
Please value and respect yourself first; only then others will do that too...you have just become too easily available for him and he has used that to treat you the way he does...
So, what should you do? Yes, kindly focus on your career...it will boost your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment to value yourself even more...

All the best...remember to also value yourself...
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |835 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm 18years old girl.from last 4years one guy is loving me.he is 23years old right now.we didn't met but we are chatting in online and we are talking in mobiles also.he is behind of my house.we exchange our numbers also. but,actually i like him like a friend.but,he is loving so much to me.after that i got a praposal from our college senior.but,i didn't accept his praposal. we are changing our numbers and chatting and talking in mobiles.but,one day i accept him.actually i have an friend before i said who loves me from last 4years.now my friend is saying i want to marry you from last 2years.but,i didn't love him.he is caring like my mother from last 4years.he never misbehaving with me.he never talk rudely.but i said to him,I'm already in relationship since 3months with one guy.but,his said don't tell any thing to me.im loving you since last 4years.why did not accept my praposal.why you accept to him.he just you know from since 3months.but,im loving and caring from last 4 years.why you not accept me and why you accept his... I already spoke with him I'm in relationship with the guy who is of my college senior.but,he is not understanding.he said i love you and i want you only.i dont want any one.i need only you,he told me like that... Please tell me what will i do....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Please get away from this guy who says he has been in love with you for 4 years. He seems obsessed with you and you can be in a relationship with anyone that you wish to...
But also, you don't seem to be sire as to what you want to do...at 18, relationships can be confusing...why don't you focus on having more friends at college rather than getting into a serious relationship? There's always time for that seriousness later in life...build a good friend circle and put your energies into studying well and in a year or two when you display that maturity, you will be able to have better relationships...

All the best!
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1221 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 18, 2024Hindi
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Hello, Hope you're doing good! I am 32 yrs old and planning to invest till 60 yrs i.e till next 28 yrs. I am investing in below MFs and some other savings schemes, I need you suggestion on the same: MFs Investment: 1. ICICI Prudential Nifty Alpha Low Volatility 30 ETF FOF - 1,500/- PM 2. Tata Resource & Energy Fund - 2,000/- PM 3. ICICI Prudential Technology - 1,500/- 4. Nippon India Nifty Smallcap 250 Index Fund - 1,000/- PM 5. SBI Nifty Next 50 Index Fund - 1,000/- PM 6. ICICI Prudential Nasdaq 100 Index Fund - 1,000/- PM 7. ICICI Prudential Nifty Bank Index Fund - 2,000/- PM Apart from this I am also investing in NPS around 17,500/- PM and PF around 30,500 including both. Also investing 5,000/- in Max Life Online Savings Plan (10 yrs investing period and 15 Yrs total Policy period). My goal is to be accumulate wealth for my retirement. Thank you in advance for your help.
Ans: Your investment approach reflects a thoughtful strategy aimed at building long-term wealth for your retirement. Diversifying your portfolio across different asset classes, including equity mutual funds, index funds, and savings schemes like NPS and PF, is a wise move.

Maintaining a disciplined investment habit and staying committed to your financial goals over the next 28 years will be crucial. Regularly reviewing your portfolio's performance and adjusting it as needed to stay aligned with your objectives is essential.

Remember, the journey to retirement wealth accumulation is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay patient, stay focused, and trust in the power of compounding to grow your investments steadily over time.

By diligently contributing to your investment portfolio and making informed decisions, you're laying a solid foundation for a financially secure and fulfilling retirement. Keep up the good work, and your future self will thank you for it.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1221 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1221 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2024Hindi
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Hi i am 49 and currently have a total corpus of approx 2.5 crs ( 1cr in MF/50 lacs in stocks/ another 80-90 lacs in PF/ EPF/ NPS and some other instruments.i am planning to retire in 13 years i.e at 62 . i will be able to accumulate another 5 cr approx more till then and with the current portfolio and interests of those looking at 10 cr of corpus then . will it be sufficient for my 15- 17 years of life after that looking at 3-4 lakhs montly expenses then
Ans: With a planned retirement in 13 years and an estimated total corpus of around 7.5 crores, your goal of achieving a corpus of 10 crores by retirement seems achievable. However, it's essential to conduct a detailed analysis to ensure financial sustainability for the subsequent 15-17 years.

Consider the following factors:

Inflation: Account for inflation in your expense calculations to maintain the purchasing power of your corpus over time.
Investment Returns: Assess the expected returns from your current investments and future contributions to meet your target corpus.
Expenses: Review your anticipated expenses post-retirement, including healthcare, travel, and other lifestyle needs.
Contingency Planning: Build a buffer for unforeseen expenses or emergencies to safeguard your retirement corpus.
Regular Review: Periodically review your portfolio's performance and adjust your investment strategy if needed to stay on track towards your retirement goals.
Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific financial situation and retirement aspirations. With careful planning and prudent management, you can aim for financial security and peace of mind in your retirement years.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1221 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2024Hindi
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1221 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
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Money
I'm 48 year old and a housewife. My husband is 52 and working in a restaurant with a salary of 24k p.m. I'm looking into investing with whatever remains out of this salary, approx. 5k (my daughter who is 22 year old is contributing a part of her income for household expenses). Please advise the best schemes/ MFs that we can invest into and also advise the procedure to MF as we have no knowledge about it. Also if my daughter can invest approx 5k-8k, what are the best plans for her to invest in SIP. Please advise. Thankyou.
Ans: It's wonderful to see your proactive approach towards investing and securing your family's financial future. Investing in mutual funds through SIPs can be a great way to start building wealth gradually over time.

For you and your husband, consider starting with SIPs in diversified equity funds or balanced funds that suit your risk appetite and investment goals. As beginners, it's crucial to choose schemes with a track record of consistent performance and managed by reputable fund houses.

For your daughter, she can also opt for SIPs in equity funds aligned with her risk tolerance and long-term financial objectives. Encouraging her to start investing early can help her harness the power of compounding and achieve her financial goals.

To start investing in mutual funds, you can approach a Certified Financial Planner or a mutual fund distributor who can guide you through the process, help you select suitable funds, and assist with the necessary paperwork.

Remember, investing is a journey, and it's essential to stay disciplined, patient, and well-informed along the way. With dedication and the right guidance, you can pave the way towards a financially secure future for your family.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1221 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1221 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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