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Mohit

Mohit Arora  |65 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2024

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello, I am Afrin . I met this guy 3 years back through a dating app . We used to talk on weekends initially for few months . Then I started falling for him and I told him about it and that i would only like to continue if there is a future as we we can get married, he said he is Hindu and I am Muslim so it won't be possible for him so I strictly asked him not to contact me again as we want different things , after that we didn't talk for 4 months , and 4 months he called me again . I picked up , talked for two three weeks only on weekends and the same question i again asked he again said it won't be possible and I again told him not to contact me and he again stopped calling or texting me . After 6 months of this ,he again called ,I picked up. This time he said , he is moving to foreign country so it might be possible for him to marry . I believed , we kept talking now 3,4 days a week . We both were happy ,and enjoyed talking to each other , then finally after 2 years , he came to meet me from a different state . We met, i brought some of my friends with me . We spent 5 days , bt after 3 days ,I saw him behaving rudely .. I tried talking to him and I got to know that , since I was talking to my friends in our language , he misunderstood us thinking we were may be making fun of them . On 4th day , when my friends left , I went to his room and saw him using dating app .. I asked him to show me his phone he didnt show me and we had a heated argument. And he left me alone in that room , and the next day he had his flight .. i saw, he blocked me the day he left me in that room . I tried contacting him for the first in this two years but he blocked me every where . So , this way for 6 months I was blocked , after him unblocking me ,he neither called me not texted me , and I also didn't try to contact him . After after 1 year of him leaving me in that room, he called few days back , I picked up , and the way he was talking i dint like it as I could sense he was expecting the things from me which are against my values . And by now ,I lost feelings for him . So the first day I could say anything, the next day i told him clearly that i don't have feelings for him anymore , so if he is expecting something else from me he won't get it . If he wants to remain as friends he can ,rest I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore . And after two days he again blocked me . What should I do if he again calls me ? Should I just block him now ? Or should I talk to him normally?

Ans: Don't pick up. Move on. Don't talk to him. Start meeting other guys

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |99 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Its important you focus on 2 things for now - (1) your self esteem and your confidence & (2) your education and career. Once you are financially independent is when you can think of a serious relationship - all the best.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2023

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Hi Anu; I had an altercation with a friend which was followed by him apologising about the same. The next day he stopped all communications completely. However when we met a month later he was absolutely sweet as if nothing had happened. At the same time he didn't keep much contact at all. He is very nice and courteous on watsapp and at other times when ee meet in person looks through me as if I dont exists at all. On phone whenever we have spoken with each other; he is absolutely charming. It is obvious that he doesnt want to be in touch. Let me add that there is no romance involved. Why do people behave the way they do? Hot one moment and cold the next? Its obvious he cannot stand me; but I wish he would stop playing games and be his normal self at all times. Keeping watsapp conversations charming but not interacting face to face is pretty confusing for me since I am straightforward person. Can you give your opinion regarding the same? Frankly speaking I feel he is a drama king and thrives on it. And honestly I dont really want to keep in touch but sometimes we do meet because of common friends. Just thought of asking you about this. Do some people always like to play mind games? Take care!
Ans: Dear Rajani,
Firstly let me put all your thoughts (assumptions) in one place. Assumptions are statements based on perceptions and not facts which sour connections and breaks relationships.
These have been picked from your question to me.
1. It is obvious that he doesn't want to be in touch
2. I wish he would stop playing games
3. I feel he is a drama king and thrives on it

This is your reading of the situations based on the way you have understood it. How much of this is true? Could it be your version of the truth?
Also, you have stated that you don't want to keep in touch; then why are you?
And if you really didn't want to, why is his playing games bothering you?
My suggestions:
1. Be clear if you want an association with him. If Yes, please clear out the air, so that there is no room for assumptions anymore.
2. Do understand that sometimes people are on eggshells after an altercation; he possibly is also carrying a lot of assumptions about you in his mind and that's why he's hot and cold alternatively.
3. Give the benefit of doubt to people; they might be going through something that you makes them behave in an odd way.
3. Drama King or not, there's a lot of unsaid discomfort between the two of you; do get into a non-judgemental space so even if the two of you don't patch up, it can be an amicable goodbye.

Steer away from assumptions and it makes room for either rebuilding a relationship or part ways on a good note.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2023Hindi
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Dear Anu; This happened a long time ago. But i still need to get it off my chest. Over 15 years ago i used to chat with a boy Mr. Y on social media/ messenger. Both of us were in early twenties. We used to talk till late nights on messenger and i thought it was more of a one sided thing and i thought i was the only one who was emotionally involved. Until his brother once approached me saying that Mr. Y will never tell me about his real feelings for me since he is incredibly shy and introverted. And whether i wanted to take this forward . Anyway his Dad didnt really approve and Mr. Y didnt know about this either. We continued to chat on messenger and also met a few times but only with friends. We had also exchanged numbers and would send forwarded messages to each other; nothing personal. Over the next year the messenger conversations fizzled out and we would only exchange forwarded messages. He never did ask me out even once. However i heard from common friends that he was saying stuff like i am inundating him with mesages; and how he was really not into me. But he never asked me to stop sending forwarded messages either. One day he messaged me saying that he will be going out of country and then he didnot message me or stay in contact with me for almost a year. I changed my location to another city after a year( work) and did mesage him just updating about my new number. He then got in touch with me; visited me once all by himself( apparently he had some work in this city) and asked me out . I asked him why now and he replied that he had asked a close friend of his; and the friend had adviced him to ask me out. We spent some time together and next day he told me not to tell his other friends that we had met. By this time i was quite fed up and the year that he did a dissapearing act I was seeing someone who was confidant and wasnt afraid of showing his affection for me. So eventually i told Mr. Y that i am seeing someone and then we barely met after this. A year later; on his social media account i saw his conversations with another where he told about his love for a girl and how it did not progress since he never declared his feelings for her. Anyway what i need to know 1) why did he ghost me? 2) If he did love me as his brother proclaimed; why did he boast to his friends that he I was chasing him? 3) is this person narcissist? 4) Did i totally misjudge the situation? Somehow after all these years; I still fell i was misled or wronged and at times i feel that i dodged a bullet! I want someone i.e. You to give me a fresh perspective. We are not in touch now. Sometimes things trouble you later in life and this incident probably is one of those. Would appreciate if you could shed some light. Anju
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
1) why did he ghost me?
Why do people ghost others? Either they are not interested or are embarrassed with that someone or are unsure about them.

2) If he did love me as his brother proclaimed; why did he boast to his friends that he I was chasing him?
His brother told you, he didn't right? And it's great to boast to friends about a girl chasing him right? It pegs him right on top within his social circle.

3) is this person narcissist? - That is something that needs more contexts to come to a conclusion. But, from what you have shared, he seems to love to control the happenings in his life, his way irrespective of how it might impact you. Walking in and out of your life at his whim, is a red flag for sure!

4) Did i totally misjudge the situation? - Quite possible that you did. But hey, maybe you were just playing to what you saw and responding to it. He seems unavailable and available when he feels like. Do you want to be available for a person who lacks basic respect for your time?

Also, the fact that he did not declare is feelings for the other girl should also tell you that he did the same with you as well. He is perhaps not ready for a commitment. Why waste time and energy on someone like that? Why chase someone who likes to be chased but won't stop to think of whether he can make a commitment? He seems to love the attention but will not reciprocate the same.

This might give you a perspective on what you have been doing so far and what must you do from hereon...

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4806 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

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Hi, I am 23 years old earning a salary of 108k per month after all deductions. I am doing SIP of 21k per month in these following funds:- 1. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund:- 3500 2. Quant Flexi Cap Fund:- 3500 3. Nippon India Large Cap Fund :- 3000 4. Motilal Oswal Mid Cap Fund:- 3500 5. Bandhan Small Cap Fund:- 2500 6. Axis Small Cap Fund:- 2000. 7. Motilal Oswal Nifty India Defence Index Fund:- 3000 Other than these combined contribution towards EPF (employee+employer) = 12800 per month. Please give a review of my portfolio. My investment horizon is for long terms. I will step up my investment depending on my salary increment
Ans: Your portfolio is well-diversified with a mix of flexi cap, large cap, mid cap, and small cap funds. This strategy spreads your risk across different market segments.

Flexi Cap Funds
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund and Quant Flexi Cap Fund: These funds are flexible and invest across various market caps. They provide good diversification and stability.
Large Cap Funds
Nippon India Large Cap Fund: Large cap funds are stable and provide steady returns. They are less volatile compared to mid and small cap funds.
Mid Cap Funds
Motilal Oswal Mid Cap Fund: Mid cap funds offer higher growth potential. They are riskier than large cap funds but can provide better returns over the long term.
Small Cap Funds
Bandhan Small Cap Fund and Axis Small Cap Fund: Small cap funds have high growth potential. They are volatile and should be monitored closely.
Sector Funds
Motilal Oswal Nifty India Defence Index Fund: Sector funds focus on specific industries. They are riskier and should be a smaller part of your portfolio. Consider replacing with an actively managed fund for better returns.
EPF Contribution
EPF Contribution: Your EPF contribution is a good foundation for your retirement savings. It provides stability and tax benefits.
Investment Horizon
Your long-term investment horizon is ideal for your portfolio. It allows you to ride out market volatility and benefit from compounding returns.

Step-up SIP
Step-up SIP: Increasing your SIP amount with salary increments is a smart strategy. It will help you achieve your financial goals faster.
Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured for long-term growth. Consider replacing the index fund with an actively managed fund. Regularly review your investments to ensure they align with your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4806 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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I am 37 years , married with 2 years old child, planning for retirement, education and marriage of child.. i have 12 l in FD, 21 l in lumpsum mutual fund, SIP for a year totalling 17000 per month, total assets worth 3 crores.. health insurance worth 1 crore. 3 term plans being paid for and active.. and i make 1.5 lakhs give or take a month.. .. i have started contributing to ssy account and have a education policy in aditya birla too worth around 8 lakhs at the time of maturity .. i have one pension fund being paid for 58000 per year for 15 years, already paid for 10 years... I need a corpus of 5 to 7crores within next 25 years.. am i doing enough? I have no loans or liabilities
Ans: You're on a solid path with your financial planning. Let's assess and refine your strategy to achieve your goals.

Review Current Investments

Your FD of Rs 12 lakhs and lump sum mutual funds of Rs 21 lakhs are good. Your SIP of Rs 17,000 per month shows discipline.

Consider Increasing SIP Amounts

Increasing your SIP amounts gradually can help you reach your corpus goal faster. This can leverage the power of compounding.

Allocate Funds for Retirement

Your goal of 5 to 7 crores in 25 years is achievable. Continue investing in diversified equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Child's Education and Marriage

Your SSY contributions are a smart move. Consider child-specific mutual funds for additional growth.

Evaluate Your Pension Fund

Your pension fund contribution of Rs 58,000 per year is good. Ensure it aligns with your retirement goals.

Health and Term Insurance

Your health insurance worth Rs 1 crore and three term plans provide good coverage. Maintain these for family security.

Regularly Review and Adjust

Review your portfolio annually. Adjust based on market conditions and personal financial changes.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A CFP can help optimize your investment strategy. They can provide tailored advice for reaching your financial goals.

Stay Focused and Disciplined

Consistent investing and disciplined saving are key. Stay focused on your long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4806 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello sir - I am 49 and want to retire by 52. I have a MF corpus of about 1.7 crore and PF amount of about 1 crore. I have one loan that I will close by this year end. Can you advise how can I plan to get about 2 lakhs per month post retirement.
Ans: Your goal of retiring at 52 is commendable. Let's plan how you can achieve a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs post-retirement.

Review Your Current Investments

Your MF corpus of Rs 1.7 crore and PF amount of Rs 1 crore are substantial. Closing your loan by year-end is also a positive step.

Set Up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

Consider setting up an SWP from your mutual funds. This provides a regular income while keeping your capital invested.

Diversify Your Investments

Balance your portfolio with a mix of equity and debt. This reduces risk and ensures steady returns.

Invest in Balanced Advantage Funds

These funds adjust between equity and debt based on market conditions. They offer growth and stability.

Explore Monthly Income Plans

Monthly income plans (MIPs) focus on generating regular income. They invest in debt and equity, aiming for consistent returns.

Consider Debt Funds

Investing in debt funds can provide stable returns. They are less volatile compared to equity funds.

Plan for Inflation

Ensure your investments grow enough to combat inflation. This will help maintain your purchasing power.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A CFP can provide a tailored retirement plan. They can help you allocate your investments effectively.

Regularly Review Your Plan

Monitor your investments and make adjustments if needed. Stay flexible to changes in market conditions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4806 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

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Dear Sir, could you guide me good Infrastructure fund which has invested in PORT,ROAD building,gati infrastructe ETC
Ans: Investing in infrastructure funds can be a good option for long-term growth. These funds focus on sectors like ports, road building, and transportation infrastructure.

Benefits of Infrastructure Funds
Growth Potential: Infrastructure is a growing sector with high growth potential.
Diversification: Investing in different sub-sectors like ports, roads, and logistics.
Economic Development: These funds benefit from economic development and government policies.
Actively Managed Funds vs Index Funds
Active Management: Actively managed funds have professionals making investment decisions.
Market Trends: Managers can respond to market trends and economic changes.
Research: They conduct in-depth research to select the best-performing assets.
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Passive Strategy: Index funds follow a passive strategy, limiting their flexibility.
No Active Decisions: They do not make decisions based on market conditions.
Less Adaptable: They might not adapt quickly to economic changes.
Direct Funds vs Regular Funds
Direct Funds: These have lower expenses but require investor expertise.
Regular Funds: Managed by professionals, offering better guidance and advice.
Certified Financial Planner: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures better decision-making and financial advice.
Investment Strategy
Portfolio Allocation: Balance your portfolio with a mix of equity and debt funds.
Regular Monitoring: Regularly review and adjust your investments based on performance.
Long-term Perspective: Infrastructure investments should be viewed with a long-term perspective for growth.
Final Insights
Investing in infrastructure funds can provide substantial growth if chosen wisely. Actively managed funds offer better opportunities due to professional management and market adaptability. Ensure a balanced and diversified portfolio for optimal returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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