Hi , My relationship started in 2017 was 27 then , We met in office she was 23 and then it blossomed and when it started getting serious i told him that i suffer from a chronic condition of Spondylitis & had some limitation of flexibility in upper spine & also told her that as per Doctors condition cannot be cured and my spine will be like this only and will get worse as it is a progressive disease and will involve other joints also because i did not wanted to hide anything from her as im a pure and truthful person at heart and this was my first relationship with any girl she accepted and said does not matter we will try our best to solve this but all these i was so down by the negative consultations by doctors that it will worse & medication had side effects that in mind i thought i will never get better and accepted to live with pain and told her this also but she seemed very positive and said we try to get it better , After 6 months working we both joined new companies , We also used to fight because she was a little immuature and used to fight for silly reasons and i used to tell if you want to leave relationship you can because i was already under pain but deep down from my heart never wanted to leave her this highs and lows went and in 2019 she cheated on me with a office colleague which she herself expressed to me and beg for pardon since i used to love her i accepted her for that she used to have a bf also before me which she already broke up with before meeting me My condition got worse in 2019,2020 due to work pressure but still was able to work and never took long leave she also tried to get me better by motivating me and i also supported her in her life , Then in 2021 she told her parents about me and a meeting was fixed her parents were not happy after seeing my condition which was visible she fight with her parents for me , I aksed them for some time and i did whatever to improve my condition and indeed in all these 18 years of suffering my condition got improved it used to pain less and i was becoming more active and our engagement was done and marrige was fixed But things started to getting worse between us after involvement of families since it was intercaste marrige not she frequent used to taunt me about my condtion that her family was suffering because of me and such things where was your family all these years and why they did not support you in this disease which used to make me feel very bad my family is my utmost importance as they supported me everytime right from the costly medications , academics etc in anger i said some bad words to her which i lament i even went to home crying to forgive and do not broke marriage but she blocked me my no from all social site and said she want to move on and her family broke the marriage and she said i only professionally supported her before marriage i can only support her on her work , health only Was it my fault to be true and tell her everything I did not used to buy her gifts but i told her i will be there with you like a rock whenever you need me My style of love is we support and respect each other to grow in life,have mutual respect and these materialistics things hardly matter It is almost 4 monhts now she blocked i still cannot forget her we had a 6 years relationship Im 33 now and don't want to get married as i don't think i will forget her i contacted her though email and gave my wishes to her but did not have any reply How can be so rude & cold atleast she could have said to me a good luck after showing so much care for 6 years Is this how relationship works i wonder have to leave my innocence at heart and be practical What should i do now , my health condition has also got improved when she left me but mentally i have not forgoten her , I still wish her good luck Please advise it is killing me from inside is this how the world works was i wrong in tellling her everything true
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. It sounds like you were very honest with your partner about your chronic condition and limitations from the very beginning of your relationship. Despite some ups and downs, you were able to maintain a loving relationship for six years.
However, it seems that after you both shared your plans of marriage with your families, things took a negative turn. Your partner's family disapproved of your medical condition and she started to say hurtful things about it as well. Unfortunately, you both said hurtful things to each other in anger and your relationship ended.
It's understandable that you are struggling to move on, given the time you spent together and the depth of your feelings. It's good to hear that your health has improved, but it's important to also take care of your mental and emotional health.
It's unfortunate that your partner has not responded to your email, but it's possible that she needs more time and space to process her own feelings. It's important to respect her boundaries and give her the time she needs.
In terms of your own healing, it may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. It's okay to feel hurt and it's important to take the time to grieve the loss of your relationship. As for whether you were wrong in telling her everything true, it's important to be honest in relationships, but it's also important to communicate in a way that is respectful and understanding. It's possible that your partner may have been overwhelmed by your condition and the pressure from her family, which may have led to some of the hurtful things she said.
Ultimately, it's important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. You deserve to be with someone who accepts and supports you for who you are, including any medical conditions or limitations.
Question by Nilesh on Jan 30, 2023Hindi
