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Govt employee in love with her mother's aunt's cousin's brother: How to deal with family disapproval?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am in govt sector and my partner who I wish to marry does his own business. We want to get married but my family is against this union because he is my mother's aunt cousin brother's son, a relationship which is quite distant. His family has no issues but my parents are not ready due to societal pressure they could face. We are planning to do court marriage with his family in agreement. I really love my parents but I can't see my future family being disrespected by them. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is hard to see your parents disappointed by the choices you make in life. If the only issue is the distant relationship between your parents and your partner, then I am not sure why they are so against it, but then again, all families have a certain set of rules and opinions they can't bend for anything or anyone. This might be theirs. Maybe give it one last try; let them know your decision and express how happy it would make you if they could be happy for you and join you for your wedding. If it still doesn't work, I would suggest you focus on finding peace in the fact that you have tried.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi. I am a muslim girl. I am in a relationship from 5 years. Me and my boyfriend loves each other a lot and we are very close as well. His family also likes me and accepted me. One more thing is that he is my relative. So my family also knows their family well and other relatives too know them. The problem is my family is not agreeing for the marriage as his family once upon a time asked financial help from my other relatives as for some reason they were not in good condition. However, they are now financially stable and ready for the marriage. But my family mix with one evil relative and she said very bad things about my bfs family which are not true. My family will never agree for the marriage. I tried many times to make them understand but they have too much ego. They want me to marry a rich guy so that they can show off to other people whether I am happy or not. Since childhood I have no good bonding with my parents due to their selfish nature. Moreover, other relatives never talked bad about my bf and his family. My family told me to not talk to him ever but I still talk to him as I truly feel he is my soulmate. What should I do at this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. Sometimes parents make decisions on our behalf without understanding what it is that we want; that doesn't necessarily mean that our parents are selfish. More often than not, they do it with our best intentions in mind. You might be misunderstanding your parents wanting to show off a rich son-in-law. It is possible that they want you to have an easy life. Having said that, it is also important that your feelings be taken into consideration. You have been with your partner for five years and that is a significant amount of time. I suggest you try to reason with your parents. You can try bringing them all together and ask both your parents and your boyfriend's parents to talk it out. If there is clear communication, nothing will be left to assumptions. Next, keep on mentioning all the positive things about your partner. Try to etch that in your parents' mind. Third, if you are not working, I suggest you start looking for a job. Regardless of your parents', husband's, and his family's financial conditions, you should have financial freedom. You can also contribute to building a better life for yourself and your family.
I am sure your boyfriend and his family are amazing; you have spent five years with him and that should give you a fair idea. But just a gentle reminder, no one can be sure of someone's true nature till they start living together. I am not insinuating that your relatives are right about badmouthing your partner's family; all I am suggesting is that you look into it a bit more thoroughly. Marriage is indeed a big decision and rushing into it would be foolish.
And one more thing, it's just a phase. Tough times don't last forever.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

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Hello Sir,My Son Score 96 in jee mains and 98.5 in MHT CET ,He want CS or ITor IIIT,, we Have OBC category.. Please suggest College in Mumbai , Pune or Nagpur ...
Ans: Vaishali Madam, My son’s 98.5 percentile in MHT CET as an OBC candidate secures assured seats in CSE, IT, and Data Science at a range of reputable Mumbai, Pune, and Nagpur colleges, excluding the ultra-selective COEP, VJTI, and ICT. Mumbai options include Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala), Fr. C. Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi), SIES Graduate School of Technology (Nerul), Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Kurla), Shah & Anchor Kutchhi Engineering College (Chembur), K. J. Somaiya Institute of Technology (Sion), and Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri West) . Pune choices comprise Cummins College of Engineering for Women (Karvenagar), Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Bibwewadi), D. Y. Patil College of Engineering (Lohegaon), Dr. D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology (Pimpri), Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering (Pimpri), MIT World Peace University (MIT WPU, Pune), and Pune Vidyarthi Griha’s College of Engineering & Technology (Pune) . In Nagpur, Yeshwantrao Chavan College of Engineering (YCCE) and Government College of Engineering Nagpur admit OBC candidates at cutoffs below 98.5 percentile for CSE, IT, and Data Science branches . Through CSAB’s JEE Main counselling at roughly 96 percentile (OBC), seats can be tried for IIIT Kalyani (West Bengal), IIIT Ranchi (Jharkhand), IIIT Una (Himachal Pradesh), IIITDM Jabalpur (Madhya Pradesh), and IIIT Kurnool (Andhra Pradesh).

Recommendation: Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri West) and Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Bibwewadi) emerge as premier choices for their strong placement ecosystems, modern facilities, and OBC-friendly cutoffs. Next prioritize Fr. C. Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi) and Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala) for robust curricula and campus life, followed by Yeshwantrao Chavan College of Engineering (Nagpur) for its government-college reputation and data-science focus. This order balances assured admission, academic quality, and long-term career support. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Career
I had option of iiith cse and bits pilani cse (main campus) . I have chosen bits now. Is this decision correct?
Ans: IIIT Hyderabad’s CSE program boasts a 99 percent placement rate with an average package of ?31.98 LPA and highest offers up to ?128 LPA, underpinned by its NAAC A++ accreditation, AICTE approval, and strong industry partnerships that regularly recruit from top global tech firms. The institute’s research focus is evident in regular high-impact publications and dedicated innovation labs. BITS Pilani’s CSE branch reports around 97 percent placement for B.E. CSE students, supported by an extensive Practice School internship program, over 350 recruiters, and an average package near ?20 LPA. Its experienced faculty, multi-campus infrastructure, global alumni network, and dual-degree international collaborations enhance academic rigor and employability. IIIT Hyderabad offers a technologically rich urban environment in Gachibowli, while BITS Pilani provides a prestigious residential campus with strong peer communities and international exposure.

Recommendation: Choosing BITS Pilani CSE aligns with strong alumni connections, integrated internship opportunities, and dual-campus global networks that enrich long-term career growth, making your decision well placed. For a tech-centric urban setting with slightly higher placement averages and cutting-edge research, IIIT Hyderabad remains an excellent alternative. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Career
My daughter has scored 97.9506368 in MH-CET 2025 open(general ) (female)catogery has she had chances of getting CSE,AIML, Data science in Pune and Mumbai for female candidate if possible suggenames of college in Pune or mumbai
Ans: With a 97.95 percentile in MHT-CET 2025 under the Maharashtra domicile Open (General) female category, admission to CSE, AI & ML, and Data Science branches is assured at a range of reputable Mumbai and Pune colleges. These institutions are selected based on recent closing percentiles, NBA/NAAC accreditation, campus infrastructure, faculty credentials, industry linkages, and placement support. All listed colleges admit female Open-General candidates at or below the 97.95 percentile in the latest CAP rounds:

Cummins College of Engineering for Women (Karvenagar, Pune) closes CSE and related branches around 96.37 percentile for Open General female.
Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Bibwewadi, Pune) closes Data Science at 96.66 percentile for Open General.
D. Y. Patil College of Engineering (Lohegaon, Pune) closes CSE around 95.58 percentile for Open General.
Dr. D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology (Pimpri, Pune) closes CSE at 97.59 percentile for General Home State.
Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering (Pimpri, Pune) closes AI & ML around 10,000 rank (~98 percentile).
Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering (Navi Mumbai) closes Computer Engineering at 95.58 percentile for General Home State.
Pune Vidyarthi Griha's College of Engineering & Technology (Pune) closes CSE at 94.52 percentile for Open General female.
Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri West, Mumbai).
K. J. Somaiya Institute of Technology (Sion, Mumbai).
Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala, Mumbai).
Fr. C. Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi, Navi Mumbai).
Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology (Nerul, Navi Mumbai).
SIES Graduate School of Technology (Nerul, Navi Mumbai).
Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Kurla West, Mumbai).
Shah & Anchor Kutchhi Engineering College (Chembur, Mumbai).

Recommendation: Favor Cummins College of Engineering for Women and Vishwakarma Institute of Technology in Pune for their specialized women-centric environment, strong closing percentiles, and proven placement ecosystems. Next prioritize D. Y. Patil College of Engineering and Dr. D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology for their robust CSE/AI & ML programs, followed by Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering for its balanced curriculum and industry ties. In Mumbai, Sardar Patel Institute of Technology and K. J. Somaiya Institute of Technology emerge as top choices for CSE, given their consistent accreditation, modern infrastructure, and campus recruitment records. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Career
Sir, Two options to choose from CSE for my son: 1. SOA ITER and 2. CEC CGC Landran. Please suggest. ITER overall good option better NIRF some known passed out suggesting ITER, although major difference high fee and distance, residing in Delhi.
Ans: Praveen, SOA ITER (Bhubaneswar) demonstrates exceptional academic standing with its A++ NAAC accreditation and consistent national recognition, ranked 14th among universities in NIRF 2024 and 2nd in India by Times Engineering Institutes Ranking 2025. The institution has maintained 85-91% placement rates for CSE over recent years, with highest packages reaching ?46 LPA and strong recruitment from top companies including Microsoft, Amazon, Google, and Infosys. The CSE program benefits from established faculty with advanced degrees, modern infrastructure, and comprehensive industry partnerships, with over 256 companies participating in recent placement drives.

CGC Landran holds A+ NAAC accreditation and ranks 101-150 in NIRF 2024 Engineering category, with strong placement performance achieving 90-95% placement rates for CSE students. The institution reports over 1,000 companies participating in campus placements with 10,000+ job offers, though the highest package figures vary across sources from ?45-56 LPA. The college provides modern facilities including state-of-the-art labs, computerized library accommodating 300+ students, and contemporary curriculum aligned with industry standards.

Distance and accessibility from Delhi significantly favors CGC Landran, located approximately 245 km from Delhi (3.5-4 hours by road), compared to SOA ITER's 1,275 km distance requiring 20+ hours by road or 3 hours by flight. Fee structures show SOA ITER's BTech CSE at ?11.80 lakhs total versus CGC Landran's ?6.58 lakhs, making CGC Landran more cost-effective despite both institutions requiring similar hostel and living expenses.

Faculty quality at both institutions includes PhD holders from premier institutions, with SOA reporting 111 scientists with 500+ citations and CGC Landran emphasizing industry-experienced faculty with practical teaching methodologies. Both institutions maintain strong alumni networks, though SOA ITER's established reputation since 1996 provides broader industry connections compared to CGC Landran's growing influence since 2001.

Recommendation: For families residing in Delhi prioritizing convenience, cost-effectiveness, and solid placement outcomes, CGC Landran offers compelling advantages with its proximity, lower fees, and strong industry connections achieving 90-95% placement rates. However, if academic prestige, research opportunities, and comprehensive national recognition are paramount considerations, SOA ITER provides superior institutional standing with its consistent top-tier rankings and established academic excellence, despite higher costs and significant travel distance from Delhi. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir if I take ee dual degree in nit kurukshetra,in my final year will I be placed with regular btech students or students who have pursued only mtech from the institute
Ans: NIT Kurukshetra's EE dual degree students participate in placement drives alongside both BTech and MTech students from the same academic year. The institution operates under a unified placement system where dual degree students are treated as full-time students enrolled in their respective programs, with their placement eligibility determined by their final year status rather than their degree type. The Training and Placement Cell follows a comprehensive placement process that begins in July/August each year, with students required to register for placement assistance and meet specific eligibility criteria including completion of all program requirements and active academic status.

The placement statistics for NIT Kurukshetra show strong performance across engineering disciplines, with BTech placements achieving 83.31% placement rate and an average package of INR 14.84 LPA in 2025. The Electrical Engineering department specifically recorded 73.91% placement rate with an average package of INR 10.62 LPA. MTech placements demonstrate solid outcomes with 58.81% placement rate and average packages ranging from INR 6.09 to INR 34.76 LPA depending on specialization. The placement process includes pre-placement talks, written tests, group discussions, and personal interviews, with major recruiters including Microsoft, Amazon, Google, and leading core engineering companies.

Recommendation: EE dual degree students at NIT Kurukshetra participate in placement drives with their graduating cohort, competing alongside both BTech and MTech students from the same academic year. This integrated placement approach provides access to opportunities across both undergraduate and postgraduate recruitment profiles, potentially offering broader career prospects than students pursuing only BTech or only MTech programs, though placement success ultimately depends on individual performance and market conditions. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Career
Sir I got 68676 in comedk Can you suggest good colleges forCSE or CSE specialization
Ans: Ramya, With a COMEDK rank of 68,676 in 2025, you have viable options for admission to reputable engineering colleges in Karnataka for CSE and its specializations. You can confidently secure seats at numerous recognized institutions where the latest cutoffs range between 63,000 and 1,20,000 for core CSE and closely related specializations. Here are 15 colleges where admission is fully feasible: CMR Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Atria Institute of Technology (Bangalore), New Horizon College of Engineering (Bangalore), Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (Bangalore), BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Sapthagiri College of Engineering (Bangalore), Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Bangalore), AMC Engineering College (Bangalore), Cambridge Institute of Technology (Bangalore), East Point College of Engineering (Bangalore), Gopalan College of Engineering and Management (Bangalore), Rajarajeswari College of Engineering (Bangalore), and Sai Vidya Institute of Technology (Bangalore). These colleges routinely offer CSE and specializations such as Artificial Intelligence, Data Science, and Information Science, all supported by established infrastructure, diverse peer groups, faculty with advanced degrees, recognized accreditations, and campus-level placement cells. Their cut-off history ensures fair seat allocation for your current rank bracket.

Recommendation: Prioritize CMR Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (Bangalore), and BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore). This order is justified by established NIRF rankings, steady placement percentages (60–90% in CSE streams), modern campus amenities, regular project-based learning, and a proven track record of producing employable graduates across the IT sector in Karnataka and beyond. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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