Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |605 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
minu Question by minu on Mar 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

hi i want to help my friend so need guidance from you . she had an affair with unmarried guy he use to care for her and always stood at her toes for everything without fail . but for some time he started giving excises for not picking call and replying messages , but kept on managing relationship . like talking in late hrs calling as and when but not in that way as in starting of the relation. meeting her . they had fights often when she saw few calls coming on his phone he diverted her like she is my didi or have some work and bla bla . these become fights of daily . now he started avoiding her messages replying according to his convenient time . or not picking call over night when asked he says was sleeping or busy . And not telling exactly where he was is he engaged somewhere els . I told my friend to drag herself out of these thing but she is v upset .due to all this . its been 2 years only . What should she do

Ans: Dear Minu,

You were right in advising her to get herself out of this relationship; it sounds exhausting trying to keep track of where he is, what he is doing and why is he acting this way. It is unfair, but sometimes people just fall out of love; they change and there is nothing one can do about it. The best thing to do in this situation is to slowly get yourself out of this and move on. It is easier said than done, but unfortunately, this is the only advice I can give.

If she is desperate to hold on to him, she can confront him and try to sit him down for a clear and open discussion. But that rarely works. Again, it's unfortunate, but it happens time and again.

I am glad to see you standing by your friend during this time. I am not sure how much you can help her with suggestions, because people in love rarely tend to listen to reason, but even being there for her is plenty helpful. Hope you can help your friend through this rough patch.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 26, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
my Friend is in touch with a girl since last 13 years, she is 12 years younger to him. They met at common friend's place and my friend start loving her. At the time of their meeting, my friend was married and she was unmarried, but was in relationship with another guy. after sometime, girl got married with his boyfriend with the help of my friend only. he got hurt but somehow helped her in getting married with the boy of her choice after some time the girl got divorced and my friend provided her emotional support she require to recover from this setback. over the period, she start demanding lot of stuff from my friend, like phones, watches, clothes, gold etc. even she call him, if want to eats anything from outside. but other hand she ignoring him, when she is with her friends and start behaving like stranger and gives reasons like, you are too old for her company, what her friend think of her etc. my friend is attached emotionally with her very much and dancing on her tunes. my friends shares everything with me and i know, he would go mad, if she even stop talkin with him. many a times, i tried to discuss this with my friend, but he is in total control of her. he told me, i would continue to help her, so she would keep talking with him. they never got physical. Even i had discussed this with girl, why you are doing such thing with my friend, every time she reply, she demanding such things with capacity of his friend. he (my friend) can deny, if he doesn't want to help me, i have lot of choices. she is also working and earning fairly. now i am in dilemma, how to help my friend.
Ans: Have you heard the saying, you can walk a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink? Your friend knows he is being taken advantage of — but he chooses to continue in the same vein. You can try to stage an intervention where several of his loved ones come together, sit him down and explain that this toxic woman should be cut our of his life and why. But ultimately, unless he decides to smarten up, no one can help him.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 04, 2025
Relationship
Hello Anu Mam, I have a friend who has been married for 10 years and with 2 kids one 8 yr old daughter and a two year old son. His wife whom he loved and trusted so much had cheated on him with one of her friends for almost 3 years which he came to know about last year. Though he could not digest that and thought of divorcing her but thinking about his children's future he changed his mind and told her to end all communication with him in order to save this marriage .She too had agreed . He hadn't told about this to anyone except me including her parents whom he respected a lot and hence didn't want to hurt them ... But after 3 months he came to know that she was still in contact with her friend using another phone without his knowledge and her affair also had not stopped . This time he couldn't tolerate and told this to her parents and told them that he would be filing for divorce. Her parents literally begged with him not to do so and requested him to give one last chance as they would mend her this time . He told them that even after giving her a chance to mend herself she has cheated again and broken his trust and that he couldn't live with her without trust . So he had decided to move on but his wife and her mother threatened him that they will have no other choice but to commit suicide if he doesnt forgive his wife. He was also worried about his children's future without their mother .. Based on some elders and friends (including mine )advice he gave her one last chance but on condition that there should not be any communication with her affair partner in future and if he comes to know about them being in any kind of contact he would be filing for divorce . His wife and her parents agreed to this and he took her back though not wholeheartedly but due to circumstances. Though they lived under one roof they did not live a harmonious life and lived like strangers and there used to be quarrels very frequently between them . This sometimes had gone physical and on many occasions his wife had threatened him with suicide... And in March this year he came to know that she was in contact with her affair partner secretly using another phone. When confronted she told they were just talking and nothing else...Though there may not be any physical contact this time my friend is very upset and adamant that he wouldn't live with her and want a mutual divorce ...His wife is not agreeing for it and threatening that she would write his name and end her life if he goes for a contested divorce. My friend is too worried about the legal complications if such a thing happens . He is also concerned about his kids especially his daughters future if he goes for a contested divorce based on adultery , the impact it would have on his daughter s future ..He doesn't want to spoil his daughters future ..At the same time he says he cannot imagine living with his wife again after being cheated on twice... Kindly advice what should I advise him ...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I don't agree with the 'cheating' part, but has your friend bothered to understand what makes his wife step out of marriage again and again?
How is their marriage? Is it compatible? Emotionally are they connected? How is their sex life? These are the ones that can help put their marriage together. These need to be addressed. Honestly, ask your friend to work with his wife on their marriage.
Threats and fights are not going to solve anything. Even if she comes back, the root cause of the marriage breakdown will drive her out of the marriage again...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |49 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 05, 2025
Relationship
Hello gurus.. I have a friend who has been married for 10 years and with 2 kids one 8 yr old daughter and a two year old son. His wife whom he loved and trusted so much had cheated on him with one of her friends for almost 3 years which he came to know about last year. Though he could not digest that and thought of divorcing her but thinking about his children's future he changed his mind and told her to end all communication with him in order to save this marriage .She too had agreed . He hadn't told about this to anyone except me including her parents whom he respected a lot and hence didn't want to hurt them ... But after 3 months he came to know that she was still in contact with her friend using another phone without his knowledge and her affair also had not stopped . This time he couldn't tolerate and told this to her parents and told them that he would be filing for divorce. Her parents literally begged with him not to do so and requested him to give one last chance as they would mend her this time . He told them that even after giving her a chance to mend herself she has cheated again and broken his trust and that he couldn't live with her without trust . So he had decided to move on but his wife and her mother threatened him that they will have no other choice but to commit suicide if he doesnt forgive his wife. He was also worried about his children's future without their mother .. Based on some elders and friends (including mine )advice he gave her one last chance but on condition that there should not be any communication with her affair partner in future and if he comes to know about them being in any kind of contact he would be filing for divorce . His wife and her parents agreed to this and he took her back though not wholeheartedly but due to circumstances. Though they lived under one roof they did not live a harmonious life and lived like strangers and there used to be quarrels very frequently between them . This sometimes had gone physical and on many occasions his wife had threatened him with suicide... And in March this year he came to know that she was in contact with her affair partner secretly using another phone. When confronted she told they were just talking and nothing else...Though there may not be any physical contact this time my friend is very upset and adamant that he wouldn't live with her and want a mutual divorce ...His wife is not agreeing for it and threatening that she would write his name and end her life if he goes for a contested divorce. My friend is too worried about the legal complications if such a thing happens . He is also concerned about his kids especially his daughters future if he goes for a contested divorce based on adultery , the impact it would have on his daughter s future ..He doesn't want to spoil his daughters future ..At the same time he says he cannot imagine living with his wife again after being cheated on twice... Kindly advice what should I advise him ...
Ans: Hello sir. I understand the situation. The prime thing in this is that your friend should go directly to police station and should file a report that if anything of this sort happens, including harm to his in laws or wife then he will not be responsible and that they are regularly threatening him. This will make your friend legally safe and then he can take a mutual divorce if he wants telling his wife and in laws that he has already filed a complaint.
This is the primary step. Once done you can message again.
Regards

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7134 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir, my son seems to have missed IITs or NITs this year although we are participating in the Josaa rounds. His CRL - 63337 in Mains & 25506 rank - Advance. He wants to pursue either ECE, CSE, DS-AI, EEE, EE etc..We will also participate in MHCET cap rounds however the rounds are delayed. His MHCET peecentile is 99.18. We will try for the best colleges in Maharashtra as we are from Mumbai General Open category. We also have a confirmed seat of CSE - VIT Chennai in hand however my son does not have more inclination to study in VIT. Sir, now my question is whether he can give Jee Mains & Advance in 2026 again without considering a drop. He will join a college this year based on CAP rounds but will forego his 1 yr in case he gets through next year. So whether this is possible Sir? If not, then he will continue his degree with the college which he takes this year.
Ans: As per the National Testing Agency (NTA) rules, candidates may appear for JEE Main up to six times over three consecutive years—two sessions each year—provided they passed Class 12 in 2024 or later and meet subject requirements. There is no upper age limit for Main attempts, and enrolling in a regular engineering program does not invalidate future Main attempts. For JEE Advanced, the Joint Admission Board permits a maximum of two attempts in two consecutive years for candidates who rank among the top 250,000 in JEE Main and first appeared in Class 12 in 2023, 2024, or 2025; admission to non-IIT institutions does not affect Advanced eligibility. MHT-CET likewise imposes no attempt limit, allowing repeated participation as long as candidates satisfy domicile and educational criteria each year. Therefore, your son can join a college this year via MHT-CET CAP rounds or accept the VIT Chennai seat and still sit for JEE Main and Advanced in 2026 without requiring a formal “drop year,” provided he retains eligibility and dedicates time to preparation alongside his regular coursework. Should he qualify in 2026, he may transfer through JoSAA; if not, he can continue his degree uninterrupted at the institution he joins this year.

recommendation: Enroll through Maharashtra CAP to secure admission this year while registering for JEE Main and Advanced 2026, balancing college commitments with a structured prep schedule and clear target milestones to maximize re-attempt success. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7134 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Career
Dear Sir, Between IIIT Dharwad CSE and Thapar college CSE, which option would be better
Ans: Thapar Institute of Engineering and Technology (TIET) Patiala offers a well-established CSE program with a strong legacy, NAAC A+ accreditation, and a robust placement record—83% in 2023, with over 1,800 job offers and top recruiters like Microsoft, Amazon, and Deloitte. The department is noted for its industry-aligned curriculum, cutting-edge research, and global exposure. IIIT Dharwad, though newer, is an Institute of National Importance with a modern campus and updated CSE curriculum. Its placement rates have ranged from 62% to 77% in the last three years, with top recruiters including Amazon, IBM, and Infosys, and a growing reputation for industry-oriented training. However, Thapar’s CSE program has a broader alumni network, more consistent placement outcomes, and a higher national brand value. IIIT Dharwad’s infrastructure is strong and improving, but its placement rates and industry connections are still catching up to older, established institutes like Thapar.

recommendation: Prefer Thapar Patiala CSE for its proven placement record, established reputation, comprehensive campus experience, and strong industry connections, especially if you value stability, alumni support, and long-term career prospects. Consider IIIT Dharwad only if you specifically seek a newer IIT-like environment and are comfortable with a developing placement ecosystem. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x