40-Year-Old Male Software Engineer Seeking Advice on Extramarital Relationship

Ans: Dear Abdul,
This platform clearly is for people who need guidance on challenges that they are facing in their lives and NOT for finding men/women to satisfy their needs.
If you want guidance with the challenge that you are facing, then please rephrase your question and re-post it please.

Of course, loneliness is a state of mind...if you do feel it, do encourage yourself to spend time with family, friends and most importantly your wife...try and improve the quality of life with your wife and this may help your intimacy as well.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Friendship OR Relationship?
I guess somewhere what she was getting from you has lost its value and worth. Also, since she is married, the consequences might have been felt by her at home and she would have left without any explanation.
There is a vacuum YES; but fill this only with what you can by yourself. Anything that depends on someone else can destroy your self-worth which is why you are feeling lonely.
This time around, instead of searching for someone to give you a pep, invite yourself into your space and make it wort it. Do the things that you love and care about.
If there's a hobby that has been on a back-burner, bring it back, expand your social circle to invite meaningful associations with people...lead a wholesome life without depending on anyone to care for your emotions...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are not alone! There are many couples in this age bracket who have very mismatched sexual urges; but that doesn't take the fact away that there is a marriage and love within it, right?

What do we do when children grow from a baby to a adult? Every phase requires us to interact with them very differently. From being instructional to giving them their space, we have managed it all...How? Because we have acknowledged that children grow up and that we need to keep adapting to suit their minds and their age then.

It's the same with marriage as well. It's not fair to expect that your wife will be sexually active and highly charged up like she used to in the early days of marriage. She possibly is going through her perimenopause or some changes emotionally that is possibly deterring her from getting intimate. Talk to her, care for her, support her and also know that there are other forms of sexual intimacy other than sex alone. Start slowly, like you are still dating and bring back the spice element. Get a general check-up done to rule out any deficiencies in terms of vitamins so that this can be added as supplements.

Now, does this mean that she will be back with the energy and urge of a 25-year old? Possibly not, but at least it will give you both time to appreciate that there are phases in life and to accept this calls for maturity and a great deal of understanding. So, start by talking about it and take it slowly...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/