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Husband Gets My Name Tattooed: How Should I React?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1549 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hi I just don’t understand my husband thoughts and thinking process recently he got my name tattooed which he asked numerous times I told that dislike tattoos but eventually he got it what should be my reaction, my reaction was first to check whether it was new syringe and whether it was safe I don't know what to tell him I didn’t feel happy for what he done but at the same time I don’t want him to feel bad for what he had done so what to do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, he's doing this for a reason. Maybe his way of showing that you are important to him?
At times, we do not understand the other person's language of love; what we can do is accept them for how and who they are. Yes, you do not appreciate what your husband has done, but can you just think that it was done as an act of love for you? Maybe then, you can see the entire episode as not anything against you BUT actually for you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |555 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 05, 2023

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Hello mam!! I have been in a relationship since last 3 years and the guy work like normally but expect from me to not work after marriage as according to him it's not a good thing. I sacrifice all mu thoughts and value for him whatever he said i did but he started disrespecting me from words because of his frustration in life. I was like maybe he will not gonna do like this next time but cycle keeps going from like5 to 6 month and finally i decided to stand leave he also follows a pattern to be with me for a time and zoned out himself for like a month and suddenly came and behave normally i was accepting that even without questioning but now he got a decent job and want to marry me with the above conditions he was already made. So what should i do i don't want to think twice with my decisions but it hurt as well
Ans: My Dear Nikita,

It sounds like you have been in a challenging situation for some time, where you have been sacrificing your values and thoughts for your partner, and he has been disrespecting you with his words and behavior. It's important to remember that no one deserves to be treated with disrespect in a relationship.

It's understandable that it hurts to think about leaving the relationship, especially after investing so much time and effort into it. However, you need to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and it seems like this relationship is not fulfilling that for you.

It's important to have a clear and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Let him know that his behavior has been hurtful, and that you cannot accept his condition of not working after marriage. It's important to communicate your boundaries and what you need from the relationship.

If he is not willing to respect your boundaries and make changes to improve the relationship, it may be time to consider ending it. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you are respected, valued, and your needs are met. It may be difficult, but prioritizing your own well-being is important for your long-term happiness.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |555 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I would like to stay anonymous. Im 27F, recently got engaged and my wedding is in 5 months from now. This match is arranged by my parents within our community. Initially things went well, but after the engagement when we went outside for dinner he was speaking well but before leaving he said this is a suggestion from my end and told that there is slight space between my two teeth in the front and while smiling it creates black image in the photos. So it would be best if i would use invisible aligners so that before wedding it would be fixed adding to this he said he will take care of the expenses and he said he had this thought for a week so its better to disclose it with me. He also said that he didn't tell this to his parents he wanted to check my thoughts on this first, also he said he wanted myself to look very very pretty on the wedding and his relatives should say "Wow, we have never seen such a pretty bride", also he commented about my hair being short actually its medium length but i like to keep my hair short. I really got frustrated when he said all those things this got me very irritated. I didn't speak much, i said i wanted to leave and he dropped me at my place. The next day i asked him if we can meet again to get clarification on this thing, when i asked him the next day about this he said "its just a suggestion if you can take it its fine or you can leave it its upto you". He never accepted that he hurted me or made a wrong statement he kept on saying he didn't mean that way i took it very personally and im creating unnecessary ruckus. at last he said i could have said things differently but he didn't ask for sorry at all. I thought he wont talk about my features again but then after a week he again asked me you were eating outside food for a week you should have gained weight(trying to be funny here), i said no. Because him and his mother already asked about my weight like "why are you so thin? you could have put up some weight know"? I have been in this weight for many years, how much ever i eat my weight remains the same its because of the genetics. But people dont understand this and easily ask some body shaming questions. After this event he is not talking like before and even i dont push him, one of my friend asked me to take initiative and make calls to stop this awkward situation and i took lead called him four times in a week he spoke but he didn't bothered to call me again he was only texting after that too im okay with that but still i feel he might ask me to make changes in my feature, weight etc before the wedding. Im not sure how to deal with this.
Ans: When someone loves and accepts you, they don’t focus on “fixing” things about you to meet external standards, whether it’s for wedding photos or to impress relatives. His insistence that you should look “very, very pretty” for others’ approval shows that his priorities might not align with yours. You weren’t looking for a makeover; you were looking for a life partner who values you for who you are.

His response when you tried to talk about it also speaks volumes. Instead of acknowledging your feelings and reassuring you, he dismissed your concerns, making it seem like you were overreacting. A partner who truly cares would have listened, understood why you felt hurt, and taken responsibility for how his words affected you. Instead, he shifted the blame onto you for "creating unnecessary ruckus," which shows a lack of emotional maturity.

The weight comments, too, are unnecessary and inconsiderate. Genetics determine body type, and no one should feel the need to change themselves to meet someone else’s expectations. His family’s remarks about your weight, combined with his attitude, suggest that this won’t stop after the wedding. If they’re already making you feel self-conscious now, imagine the expectations and unsolicited “suggestions” that might continue in the future.

The distance that has formed between you both after this conversation isn’t just about awkwardness—it’s about emotional disconnection. A strong relationship is built on respect, comfort, and mutual appreciation, not on one person feeling judged and the other acting indifferent. The fact that you had to take the lead in calling him multiple times, while he didn’t reciprocate the effort, says a lot. A healthy relationship should feel mutual, not one-sided.

Right now, you need to ask yourself: Can you truly be yourself in this relationship, or will you constantly feel pressured to meet his and his family’s expectations? Do you feel emotionally safe with him, or do you feel like you have to defend your choices, your body, and your appearance?

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and your peace of mind matters. If his attitude is already making you question yourself and feel frustrated, you have every right to reconsider. You don’t need to “deal” with this by adjusting to his expectations—you need to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want to spend your life in.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2025Hindi
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Money
I AM THINKING OF TAKING A LOAN OF 5,00,000 AGAINST MY CURRENT MUTUAL FUND MOTILAL OSWAL SMALL CAP FUND AND REINVEST IT IN SAME FUND FOR NEXT 3 YEARS. I DON'T WANT LIQUIDITY FOR NEXT 3-4 YEARS. SEEING THE MARKET IS LOW RIGHT NOW CAN I EXPECT A REURN? SHOULD I CONSIDER THIS OPTION?
Ans: Taking a loan against your mutual funds and reinvesting in the same fund may seem like an opportunity to maximise gains. However, this strategy carries significant risks.

Key Risks to Consider
1. Market Uncertainty
Small-cap funds are highly volatile.
A temporary market correction doesn’t guarantee strong returns in the next 3 years.
If the fund underperforms, you could face both a loan repayment burden and lower returns.
2. Interest Cost vs. Expected Returns
Loan interest rates on mutual fund pledges typically range from 9-12% per annum.
Your small-cap fund must generate higher returns than the loan rate to make this strategy profitable.
If the fund returns below 12% CAGR, your effective gains will be negligible or negative.
3. Forced Liquidation Risk
If the market corrects further, your lender may sell your pledged mutual fund units to recover the loan.
This could happen at a loss, forcing you to exit at a lower NAV.
4. Overexposure to a Single Fund
Investing additional money into the same small-cap fund increases concentration risk.
Instead, diversification across flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds is better.
Alternative Approaches
Instead of taking a loan, consider:

SIP Investment Strategy

Continue SIPs in a staggered manner rather than a lump-sum reinvestment.
This reduces the risk of investing at an unfavourable price.
Diversified Portfolio Allocation

If markets recover, large-caps and flexi-caps may rebound earlier than small-caps.
Diversifying into these categories will balance returns and risk.
Rebalancing Your Current Portfolio

If you have underperforming funds, consider shifting money to stronger funds.
This avoids borrowing costs and interest rate risks.
Final Insights
Taking a loan against your mutual fund for reinvestment is not advisable due to the high risk of market downturns, interest costs, and forced liquidation. Instead, a disciplined SIP approach in diversified funds will offer better risk-adjusted returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |963 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Mar 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2025Hindi
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Career
Greetings to Gurus, I am student from Kolkata,West Bengal. I have completed my ISC in year 2020 from Commerce stream without maths. I am from Lower Middle Class Family, finance is big issue for me. After ISC I enrolled in B.COM(Hons) course from a college under Calcutta University. I was ambitious of being Chef from childhood. But during Covid times and finance problem, I haven't pursued. During my college life, My first three semesters completed online in Covid period, after the lockdown period, my fourth semester got offline and I just passed in one paper out of 4 and then my 5th semester exam got cleared after that I appeared for rest 3 papers of sem 4 and cleared 2 papers and in sixth semester cleared 3 paper out of 4. Again in 2024, I appeared for 6th sem 1 backlog paper and cleared it but don't able to clear 4th sem one backlog paper. So, I have started my UG in year 2020 but not able to clear it till 2024 because of 1 paper(Taxation) and I have last option to reappear in 2025 examination. I want to earn good in my life, suggest me some opportunities and a way to get out from this loop. Mentally getting depress also.
Ans: Hello! First of all, I really appreciate that you're sharing your situation openly. I understand that you're going through a tough time, but I want to assure you that there are always ways to move forward. You are not stuck, and there are opportunities for you to earn well and build a good career.
Step 1: Clear Your B.Com Degree (Important)
You have only one backlog paper (Taxation) left. Make it your #1 priority to clear this in 2025 because having a degree will open more opportunities.
You already passed all other subjects, so just focus on this one. If needed, get help from a tutor or YouTube courses on Taxation.
ccounting & Taxation (?25,000 - ?60,000 per month)
Since you already studied B.Com, this is a natural career path.
Learn Tally, GST Filing, Income Tax Filing.
Free courses: Government’s NPTEL, YouTube (Search “GST Filing Course India”)
I believe in you. Take the first step today! Your situation will improve within 1 year.

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