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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I have been dating a guy since last year and we are serious about each other. Our families know about us and are quite accepting towards our relationship. But there is a problem idk what to do. I'm single child and my father passed 10 years ago so its just me and my mom. I cant just leave her after marriage. I want all of us ( me my bf his parents and my mother ) to stay together after our marriage but he says that his parents will have a problem with it. Idk what to do i just cant leave my mother but i also love this guy.

Ans: It's understandable that you're facing a challenging situation with conflicting priorities. Balancing your commitment to your mother and your love for your boyfriend can be difficult, but open communication and compromise are essential in such casesTalk about your expectations for family life after marriage. Understand what he envisions and what compromises can be made to accommodate both your wishes. This may involve discussing living arrangements, responsibilities, and boundariesIf possible, involve both families in the discussion. Sometimes, concerns can be addressed more effectively when everyone is aware of each other's perspectives. This can also help in finding common ground and building mutual understanding. finding a solution that respects both families and allows for a harmonious marriage may take time and effort. Patience, understanding, and compromise are key. It's important to create an environment where both you and your boyfriend feel heard and valued.
Ultimately, the decision should be based on what feels right for both of you as a couple. Consider what compromises are reasonable and whether there are creative solutions that can satisfy both your desire to care for your mother and your commitment to your relationship.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |296 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi. I am a muslim girl. I am in a relationship from 5 years. Me and my boyfriend loves each other a lot and we are very close as well. His family also likes me and accepted me. One more thing is that he is my relative. So my family also knows their family well and other relatives too know them. The problem is my family is not agreeing for the marriage as his family once upon a time asked financial help from my other relatives as for some reason they were not in good condition. However, they are now financially stable and ready for the marriage. But my family mix with one evil relative and she said very bad things about my bfs family which are not true. My family will never agree for the marriage. I tried many times to make them understand but they have too much ego. They want me to marry a rich guy so that they can show off to other people whether I am happy or not. Since childhood I have no good bonding with my parents due to their selfish nature. Moreover, other relatives never talked bad about my bf and his family. My family told me to not talk to him ever but I still talk to him as I truly feel he is my soulmate. What should I do at this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. Sometimes parents make decisions on our behalf without understanding what it is that we want; that doesn't necessarily mean that our parents are selfish. More often than not, they do it with our best intentions in mind. You might be misunderstanding your parents wanting to show off a rich son-in-law. It is possible that they want you to have an easy life. Having said that, it is also important that your feelings be taken into consideration. You have been with your partner for five years and that is a significant amount of time. I suggest you try to reason with your parents. You can try bringing them all together and ask both your parents and your boyfriend's parents to talk it out. If there is clear communication, nothing will be left to assumptions. Next, keep on mentioning all the positive things about your partner. Try to etch that in your parents' mind. Third, if you are not working, I suggest you start looking for a job. Regardless of your parents', husband's, and his family's financial conditions, you should have financial freedom. You can also contribute to building a better life for yourself and your family.
I am sure your boyfriend and his family are amazing; you have spent five years with him and that should give you a fair idea. But just a gentle reminder, no one can be sure of someone's true nature till they start living together. I am not insinuating that your relatives are right about badmouthing your partner's family; all I am suggesting is that you look into it a bit more thoroughly. Marriage is indeed a big decision and rushing into it would be foolish.
And one more thing, it's just a phase. Tough times don't last forever.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |296 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
m in love with my boyfriend since 18 years. I waited till he gets his first job to tell my parents abut him. When the time came we both informed in our family that we want to get married. His father said yes initially and asked my family to meet at a common place. Later once I family agreed and came and called to inform his family, his mother denied saying his father is against this marriage. My parents called my boyfriend and asked whether he wants to marry me without his father approval and he said obviously!!! Why wouldn’t I? Then me and my boyfriend set a date and informed both our family that we are getting married on this date on july. My family has been always supportive and they support me here as well. But his family reacted differently saying we can’t allow you to marry on this date as this month is his birth month (some silly excuses) and they informed we can assure you we will get you married to your girlfriend in November or December. That time my boyfriend also agreed with his mother knowing that all wedding venues were booked and I have paid some kind of advance amount as well. And NOW!! My family went wild over him saying howcome he called of this marriage?? My boyfriend is asking me please give me a second chance that I will convince my parents to marry you in November or December. If they disagree i will move out and marry you only. How can I trust him this time? SHOULD I?
Ans: Dear Suwon,

I understand you are in a difficult situation and trusting someone once they have broken it is difficult. I also understand your parent's concern. I am sure you do too. Now, the real question is, do you want to give him another chance? I know he broke your trust by moving the dates suddenly, but maybe let's try to find out why he did it.

You have been with him for a long time. You should have some clue about the type of person he is; it is totally up to you to decide whether you want to give him another chance or move on with your life. Neither would be a wrong choice. But it should be your choice. Look at the pros and cons. All things he got right to date and the wrongs he did too. Weigh them against each other and by the end of it, you should have some clarity.

Best Wishes.

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Latest Questions
Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |11 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Guru - Answered on Sep 15, 2024

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Money
Dear Sir, i am an NRI, investing in mutual funds and stocks through NRO account for quite some time and i am planning to move to india approximately in another 2-3 years of time , given that NRO have high taxation, i just wanted to understand how to swiftly transfer mutual funds and taxes from nro account to indian resident account ? Appreciate if you could provide advice as well as SWP method ?
Ans: Dear Rudolf,
As an NRI planning to move back to India in 2-3 years, transitioning your investments from an NRO account to a resident account requires careful planning. First, once you become a resident, you need to convert your NRO account into a regular resident savings account. This involves contacting your bank, providing updated KYC details, and submitting proof of your new residency status in India. Additionally, you must inform mutual fund houses or registrars (like CAMS/Karvy) about your change in residential status by submitting a KYC modification form.
In terms of taxation, as an NRI, you are currently subject to higher taxes on your investments. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity funds are taxed at 10%, while short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 15%. For debt mutual funds, LTCG is taxed at 20% with indexation benefits, and STCG is taxed according to your income slab. Once you become a resident, the taxation on these investments will continue under resident tax laws, but any new gains after your status change will be taxed according to resident regulations.
To efficiently manage your investments, you can opt for a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP). This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount from your mutual funds regularly while keeping the rest invested. SWP is tax-efficient, as you only pay capital gains tax on the withdrawn portion. After becoming a resident, you can easily set up SWPs to your regular savings account for steady income, while the rest of your investments continue to grow.
So to conclude, it is essential to update your bank and mutual fund KYC details when you return to India to ensure regulatory compliance and take advantage of resident tax laws. SWP can provide regular income while managing taxes efficiently. You need to contact a professional Advisor or CA for managing all your assets.
Best regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |11 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Guru - Answered on Sep 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir - I'm 35 years. Both myself and a better half are working with a monthly income of 3.65L together (2.8L mine + 85K wife's). We have a 5 year old male kid. We have a SBI max gain home loan account with a debt of 12.65L and a parked amount of 26.5L apart from the EMI paid so far from previous 5 years. No EMI on car purchased. EPF ~29L, PPF started for both of us an year back. Also started a monthly SIP of ~1.2-1.5L in MF from Jan'2024 with 8.5L balance so far and will continue the SIP in the below funds atleast for next 10 years. Not considering debt funds as I'm already having EPF and PPF components and will periodically review these funds. 1. Nifty next 50 Index, 2. Small Cap 250 Index, 3. Multi Cap, Active 4. Mid Cap, Active 5. Flexi Cap, Active Better half may quit her job by Mar'2025. We are looking to close home loan by March'2025 and stay EMI/debt free with a peace of mind. Is it a wise decision to close a home loan by this financial year and increase the monthly SIP to 2L from next financial year? Or) invest the home loan balance amount in real estate (preferably buying a land)? especially when the home loan interest of upto 3.5L are tax fee in the old tax regime. Thanks!
Ans: Dear Friend, Given your current financial standing, closing your home loan by March 2025 seems like a wise choice. You have Rs 26.5L parked in the SBI Max Gain account, which already reduces your interest liability. By clearing the remaining Rs 12.65L, you can become debt-free, providing peace of mind and freeing up your EMI payments for additional investments. While the home loan offers tax benefits under the old regime, the psychological comfort of being debt-free may outweigh the potential tax savings, especially since your financial portfolio is already strong.
Once the loan is closed, increasing your monthly SIPs to Rs 2L would be a smart move. Over the next 10 years, equity mutual funds, which historically offer returns of 10-12% annually, can significantly grow your wealth. Since you are already investing in a diversified portfolio of index, small-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds, increasing these investments aligns well with your long-term goals.
Investing in real estate, particularly land, can provide diversification. However, real estate is typically less liquid and the returns can be location-dependent. If you're confident in the property’s growth potential, this can be a good long-term investment. However, your existing strategy of focusing on equity mutual funds will likely offer better returns and flexibility, given your 10-year investment horizon.
So closing your home loan by March 2025 and redirecting the freed-up funds into increased SIPs appears to be the best route. It balances peace of mind, tax efficiency, and long-term wealth creation, while real estate can be considered for diversification if you find a promising opportunity.
There are many real estate opportunities like REIT or Partial ownership in commercial properties which can also yield between 14 to 22% overall return with about 5 to 8% monthly return and 10 to 12% of Growth in the Asset Value at end of tenure.
Investment is commodities like gold and silver can also yield a return of 8 to 10% with reducing the risk in one sector.
Diversification is the mantra, do not depend on only one or two type of investment avenues. Explore other options as well.

Best regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Dr Karthiyayini

Dr Karthiyayini Mahadevan  |1065 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on Sep 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 13, 2024Hindi
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Health
I am 75 + ....Around two months back I was diagnosed as dengue positive with platelet count at 75,000. with proper medication, platelet counts were increased to 2,05,000 and fever was subsided.However swellings on both arms and legs persisted.. Off late on my both solders i am suffering severe pain and enable to make any movement, i feel like inner vain of my both hands are getting stretched/pulled (right from my solder to the finger tips and swelling on both hands and legs are still there. My doctor says that it may continue for another two three months and proscribed me only pain killer tablets.Doctor says that there is no specific medicine for Dengue. I got thorough blood and urine test along with other test like scanning, x-ray etc. All the test reports are normal except slightly blood sugar (PP) on higher side and enlargement of prostate gland (which is there since last 10 years and i am on regular medicine (silodosin 8-mg, one tab a day) Kindly advise me with your good suggestions that what could be the cause of this problem and which expert doctor I should consult since it is very difficult situation for carrying out my routine activities and also I can't sleep properly due to severe pain. Thank you
Ans: Post viral illness can trigger different chain of immune reactions
They are mostly self limiting if your lifestyle is well disciplined.
Here are the points towards a healthy lifestyle
1.Early dinner by 6 pm and avoid animal protein and fat at dinner meal
2.Sleeping time to be regulated. Fix a specific time around 9/9.30 pm and unwind from the world particularly off media from 7 pm
3.Regular brisk walking 30 mts a day five days a week
4.Balanaced nutrition and avoid highly refined carbohydrates

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