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Is it normal for me to lose interest in women who show interest in me?

Ravi Mittal |618 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2025Hindi

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Relationship

i get curious about other women and love to engage but when they reciprocate and openly wants a relationship i avoid them. i'm not sure of why i dislike people who chase me but like people who dont expect my presence around them and i get comfortable around them

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It might be some form of commitment issue- Someone who reciprocates your feelings might create a sense of pressure or demand for emotional closeness.

One more common cause can be the thrill of chasing. You might like to conquer people's love; the chase thrills you. The act of trying to win someone's attention is more exciting than the certainty of someone's love.

Or you might be having avoidant issues, where you pull away as soon as someone shows real emotions.

In any case, ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable when someone shows their emotions to you. Self-reflection can help you solve this puzzle. Also, it is okay to explore connections without wanting to become exclusive partners. That is also a great way of understanding what you want or don't want. You can take small steps like consciously staying in touch with people who are showing interest in you. That does not mean you have to force yourself to commit to them; just don't disappear on them. The best thing would be to seek counseling. It can help you a lot and sort out this issue before it sets in and creates real problems in finding love.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal |618 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 02, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2023Hindi

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Hi,i am a 28 year old woman being at crossroads when it comes to relationships. I am one of the unluckiest souls in this universe.An old school romantic being following the philosophy of one man woman.My love life consists of numerous one sided loves,crushes,2 three year old failed long distance relationships and terminating one potential long term romance(this was also long distance)See,I would want to be in a loving and long term relationship resulting in marriage.I guess i have always dated to marry. But unfortunately, my search for that one true love is still not coming to an end. I don’t know where am i going wrong? Am i asking for too much? Because the moment i said yes or responded to their advances ,they would become way too busy and i become an option. Before i say yes,they would always court me. I have to initiate the conversations every single time. As i result i stopped looking for love and start working on myself. I don't mind being single forever and skip marriage.I know there's something wrong in my apporach. Just tell me where am i going wrong?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There's nothing wrong with your approach but I want to share a piece of advice that might help you in your dating journey. Instead of approaching relationships with the sole intention of finding a life partner, consider dating for the sake of love and happiness. Not every person you meet will be your soulmate, and that's perfectly okay. Sometimes, we need to experience a few heartbreaks and failed relationships before finding the right one. I appreciate that you have started focusing on yourself, but that does not mean you have to stop looking for a companion. Both are not mutually exclusive. And it's sad but some men indeed lose their interest in a woman as soon as the "chase" is over. But the good news is, it is only some men, not all.

I say stop looking for a man to settle down with because that might lead to compromises to make the relationship work. Instead, find a man who makes you happy. Enjoy the process of dating and evaluate the individual based on genuine compatibility and shared happiness.

Best Wishes!

Shalini Singh |168 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Sep 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 31, 2024Hindi

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I am 29 years old man. My concern is related to love. I have never really been in a relationship. I'm not sure how much success I would have had if I even would have tried. I have been complemented by women saying that they find me attractive. But didn't go beyond that and I never really pursued it beyond that. The reason being I never wanted to risk being emotionally attached to someone who wouldn't necessarily be there for me in the long term. That's why I never pursued a relationship. I'm not socially awkward or easily get anxious. I used to think that it is better if I wait for marriage as well. But given the times I'm made to feel like that is now considered a 'red flag' these days. I just wanted to know if this would hurt my marriage prospects. I do believe in women having an equal opinion in the relationship. I don't hold any opinions that could be considered misogynistic or sexist. But I just wish to know is it really a red flag and if it is what do I do to tackle the same

Ans: Are you asking if not being in a relationship will hurt your marriage prospects? Being in a relationship is a personal choice and you can be in one at any age before you marry - highly recommended to be friends with the person you decide to marry. all the best

Ravi Mittal |618 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 03, 2024Hindi

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Hi Gurus, recently I had a weird experience wherein a female sent a request to me on a popular professional platform and she being from the medical field I accepted it without much of a thought, we then exchanged contact details and then she dropped a text saying she wanted to talk, as I was in the office I asked her to call in the evening as I was busy, then she called back and said she wanted to talk romantically and wanted to do a video call, I panicked and refused to accept the video call, I further blocked her as I didn't expect the behaviour from a person of her stature, but I am having mixed feelings about the incident as I really don't know her intentions. Yours Truly P

Ans: Dear P,

You made the right call. If you have even the slightest doubt about someone's behavior or intentions, the best course of action is to avoid that match/person.

I am glad you could think fast on your feet and most likely dodged an uncomfortable situation.

Hope this helps.

Anu Krishna |1645 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025

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I am a 45-year-old divorced entrepreneur based in Pune. Over the past few years, I have been in three short-lived relationships -- all with people who couldn't commit or were emotionally distant. I have done some introspection and even tried therapy, but I still find myself falling for the same type of women. I want to understand what's drawing me to them and how to break this cycle.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At times, people try and undo what they did in their failed relationships just to prove to themselves that they can make a new relationship work. But that sadly may not work. There's no point in jumping from one relationship into another until you heal from the relationship that didn't work...
Since you state that therapy did not work for you, kindly introspect as to what did not work in it and what could have been done to make it work. It will help in setting a clear boundary in a new relationship and also you will be clear in terms of what you want in and from a relationship.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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