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Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu, I am an overthinker and an extremely anxious person. In fact I am so fearful of taking the next step in my life or my career that sometimes I get headaches, and feel restless in bed simply wondering if my action or decision will backfire. Is this normal? Or is it something I should be worried about? Can it be treated? What can I do to improve? Can you please help?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I will address this question in 3 parts
Part I
What causes overthinking?
- Any unpleasant event from the past or any expectation of an unpleasant event in the future happening causes anxiety/panic.
- To recover from the past experience or prevent a future occurrence goes into a mode of self-preservation whereby your thoughts LOOP one into another: If this happens, then that can happen and if that happened, what more can happen!
This is OVERTHINKING....predicating without adequate proof and projecting one situation into another.
This is our of your control OR locus of control...
Still why do you do it?
Because you want to move away from the pain a past event caused or a future event might cause. Who wants pain, right?

Part II
How much do I believe Overthinking?
NEVER!
Of course, the past event might recur, but you also know how to deal with it because you have already experienced it.
Of course, a future event might happen, but isn't it better to live in peace for NOW and actually think: I will cross the bridge when it comes
So doubt your thoughts that cause you to overthink

Part III
What can I do to change this habit?
Since you are aware as to the harm it causes you like headaches and restlessness, you know that this has to stop.
So, try this:
1. When you start to LOOP, doubt your thoughts and ask: Is this really true?
2. Journal about certain unpleasant experiences from the past
3. Remind yourself that you know what to do in any situation
4. Break into a dance or go for a run as this helps displace the feelings from your body
5. Surround yourself with people that are happy and positive
6. Leave the past behind and Let the future happen when it must
7. Practise breathing exercise that help you calm

Lastly and most importantly, tell yourself: I am more powerful than my fears and I have the means to work on them.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam. I kind of need mental fitness advice. I am 26 years old female. I am afraid a lot in taking up the decisions in my life due to overthinking. But it is not same when it comes to my work side. Always taking up the negative things from my surroundings and expressing the same. Sometimes i make negative situations in my mind and cry. Is there a way to change my mindset to overcome my overthinking as well as my negative mindset. Pls give me some tips to overcome laziness as well as procastination. Is there any yoga or medidation to cure this one. Because i really hate myself for this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What exactly do you get by punishing yourself? It's another way to indulge in self-pity which will only keep you in the problem zone for longer.
Instead pay attention to the reasons towards laziness and procrastination.
Ask:
- Do I display laziness with every activity or a few or one specific one?
- If Yes, which is it?
- What about that activity/situation makes me want to procrastinate and not take action on it?
- If I actually make a plan and act on that activity/situation, how will things change for me?

This will give you an idea as to what exactly happens in the mind to avoid something and what you can do about it. We are never motivated to do anything if we don not get something concrete back in return. So, define the reward clearly...
And as far as negative things go, if you choose to focus on it, obviously it will grow bigger in the mind.

Keep the above questions list with you and check at regular intervals when faced with procrastination. Have a social circle of friends who can pull you up when you are down BUT they will not be kind all the time if you are going to indulge into self-pity. So, the decision to get better, to become more positive and actually do something big in life is a decision. Focus on how much your life will change for the better when you do this and it will be a clean and quick switchover.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |99 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am 21. I am a chronic overthinker. I am always thinking about what other people think about me or overanalysing situations and making things complicated. Is this a serious problem? What should I do?
Ans: Dear overthinker,

Thinking is a good trait to have, overthinking is not.

You literally have to STOP overthinking!!!

One way to overcome this is to stop thinking and become more action oriented. STOP analyzing everything in the head, put it on paper, there is something calming about putting thoughts on paper, writing them down with a pen and paper.
And then taking actions based on what you have written and no more thinking about it.

Indulge in physical activity, play a game which is more action oriented , this teaches you to be fully present in the moment, which helps you in being in the moment. Being fully present in the moment is what gets you out of overthinking.
Do meditate , I really can't enumerate all the benefits of meditation, what meditation does to people is beyond words.

There is a book called as, STOP OVERTHINKING by Nick Trenton, this book offers practical advice and exercises to help you break free from negative thoughts and worries. It provides evidence-based methods to combat overthinking and anxiety.

Another amazing book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of NOW", can help you.

There is no problem which can't be overcome, believe in yourself, you are more powerful than you think, the body and mind have to listen to you!!
What you think so you become, feed yourself the right thoughts and let the magic unfold.!!

All the best!!

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for more than 3 weeks. And I don't like my husband. I didn't like him before the marriage and it was very clear to my family tht I didn't like him. But my parents forced me to get married to him and it was my fault tht I couldn't prioritise my feelings. I considered what would happen to them if I called off the engagement. And after being married I have been more than depressed. My parents keeps telling what I should do. I don't let him touch me since I don't like him I asked him for some time and on the 2nd day he made a huge issue in my family telling them that I don't let him touch me. I started to resent him after this. Everyone around me keeps on telling Me that he will go abroad in 2 weeks so I should do whatever a wife does. it's been 3 weeks and continuous arguments. I'm so sad. I'm scared of what would happen if I leave this marriage. I can't stay in my own family because they would treat me so bad. I would have to stay alone. Thinking about the uncertain future and consequences am not able to do anything. Am stuck in this miserable situation.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
For sure, it's difficult to be physically intimate with someone that you do not fancy and he is being silly in making this public. Rather than winning you over, he's making it a public issue to gain sympathy which his highly immature.
Now, I am going to give you an example that you may not like.
Eg: You have to live in Japan for 2 years and you do not like that cuisine. But eventually you realize that 2 years is a long time and then you actually start enjoying the food by looking at what's nice in it; healthy, light, good on the heart etc.

It's the same here. You may have gotten forced into the marriage. But it's just 3 weeks. Give it time...NO, you do not have to engage in any physical intimacy with him right away; but at least try to get to know him...maybe someday you might start to appreciate his good qualities, yeah? See, if this is possible in the short time that you have...it's just about having an open mind. Marriages are easy to break, think hard on this one.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 34, unmarried, in a relationship with my boyfriend for 14 years. He comes from an orthodox family where his father makes all the decisions in the house. He recently had a bypass surgery so everyone is extremely careful not to do or say anything that might cause him distress. All my life I have known my guy as my best friend and soulmate. After much counselling, my parents have also agreed but his father has simply refused to accept our relationship. He doesn't even want to talk about it. My BF has tried all possible ways to introduce me and his mother and sister sometimes text me as well empathising with my situation. Meanwhile, my parents are worried that I am getting old and there is no point in waiting to marry someone who can't convince his father. They feel that even if I were to marry him, I won't be happy. I understand where my parents come from. I am their only daughter. My dad is 70, has health issues and he wants to see me as a happy bride. I feel very stuck, guilty and helpless in the situation. Please suggest what is the right thing to do? Should I wait to marry the guy I love the most? Should I stay single? Or find someone else according to my parents?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are 34! Maybe it's time to take decisions for yourself? And to actually be careful what will happen to his father is sadly a form of soft blackmail. What exactly does your boyfriend have to say about all of this? Does he have any thoughts on how to be married to you or is he going to wait until his father comes around? I would really want you to know what's going on in your boyfriend's mind. It will tell you a lot..

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025
Relationship
I am 52, mother of a daughter and son. Daughter is married and has two kids. My son is only 23. He is in love with a Bengali woman who is 12 years elder to him. I have met her briefly when my son invited her to a family event. He was laughing and cuddling up to her in front of all our guests much to our embarassment. I am a modern woman who has no qualms about anyone expressing his/her emotions. However, my concern is that this woman has begun to influence my son in a bad way. He has been partying away, splurging his savings and is now seeking my help to buy a flat in his girlfriend's name. I put my foot down and since then he has stopped talking to me. My daughter tells me that he has blocked me on his phone and social media. He has quit his job and I am worried he is not taking good care of himself. Meanwhile, the girl looks happy and has been spotted with other young guys at various places. I have not disclosed any of this to my son but I want him to know that he is being cheated on before it is too late. He is love sick and all our attempts to talk to him about this have failed. I feel helpless. What can I do to help my son recover from this mess?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As a mother you are only trying to protect your son. So, find what you can on this woman and yes, your son needs to be shown that he is just being played and is another one of her 'boys'. Maybe then he will come to his senses. In the meantime, as a family try to surround him with love and a lot of care. He is only experimenting outside by rebelling at home OR he could very well be searching for some validation and attention outside. Give that attention to him at home and that will help him circle right back.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am a single 34 year old man from Delhi, i was always socially anxious and never had a girlfriend, i have worked on my social skills in the past few years and have a stable career thanks to a good pyschatrist who treated me for depression and anxiety and now its under control. I often feel the need of a partner in life but i feel that i don't deserve one because of my past and i cannot handle the responsibility of married life, this makes me feel that i should stay single and adapt to the single life. Another reason is that i earn well enough for myself but not enough to run a family. I feel that if i get married i must give my best to my partner, but i don't want to let her down. Currently i try to save half my salary every month because of this fear. Can you please let me know what i should do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
if you live your life with ifs and buts, that's exactly how your life will turn out; always tentative and with a lot to worry about. Does your past define how things must be now for you? You have changed and also know how to handle things when they don;t go your way. So, no point in doubting things and wondering if they are meant for you or not. It's matter of moving ahead with confidence and also understanding that not everything will work but somethings will and that's good enough. So, be out there and I am sure that someone like-minded will hit it off with you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |230 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello sir , can I move abroad with a BDS degree ?What exams I have to give for qualifying to do job abroad ?
Ans: Yes, you can move forward with a Bachelor of Dental Surgery (BDS). However, to practice and obtain a license, you need to follow the guidelines of the respective country. For example, in the United States, licensure requirements are established by the state board of dentistry, also known as the board of dental examiners or licensing board. While these requirements vary by state and territory, all licensure candidates must meet three basic criteria: educational requirements, a written examination, and a clinical assessment.

1. **Educational Requirement:**
Nearly all states require a Doctor of Dental Surgery (D.D.S.) or a Doctor of Medicine in Dentistry (D.M.D.) degree from a dental education program accredited by the Commission on Dental Accreditation (CODA).

2. **Written Examination:**
All U.S. licensing jurisdictions require applicants to pass the Integrated National Board Dental Examination (INBDE). This examination, developed in response to changes in educational curricula and instructional methods, was launched in August 2020 and replaced the National Board Dental Examination (NBDE) Parts I and II.

3. **Clinical Assessment:**
Most U.S. licensing jurisdictions require applicants for dental licensure to undergo a clinical assessment. Many state boards of dentistry rely on third-party testing agencies to administer this assessment, and acceptance varies by state and territory.

To migrate to a specific country, be sure to collect detailed information from the respective health department's website.
All the best.

Poocho. Life Change Karo!

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |230 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
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Career
My child will be appearing for NEET UG 2025 for the fourth time. Each time his performance has been abysmal, which, I know, is going to be repeated this year too. We have already asked him to move ahead but he is adamant on appearing in NEET which is beyond his calibre. He doesn't have any idea what to do next, has never thought of a Plan B,C or D. Kindly guide as to how plan a career ahead for him. Is there any sort of psychoanalysis to know what is the right study option for him and where to get it done. I can't afford crores of rupees in pvt. medical colleges/abroad .I can take professional assisstance . Kindly give me contact number/ email ID. Thanks.
Ans: Hi Sir,

Don't worry. First, it's important to counsel him.

The health sector is a promising field, which is why I believe your son is so determined to appear for the NEET exam, even though this will be his fourth attempt. It’s natural for him to feel a bit worried. I think he needs to reflect on why he hasn't been able to succeed so far. It's crucial for him to analyze where the problems lie. For example, if he's struggling with chemistry, he should focus more on that subject, as well as the others he finds challenging.

He has a lot of homework to do, including taking mock tests and learning effective strategies rather than just simple ideas.

I have one question: Has he enrolled in any study or coaching center for NEET preparation? If so, it would be beneficial to discuss ways to improve his performance.
If he has prepared himself, kindly approach the best coaching center near your area. For more information about us, you can contact the admin.

Poocho. Life Change Karo!

...Read more

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