Hi Anu. I married intercaste in a hurry going against my family. My wife seems loves me a lot but she is also a screamer and likes to create a scene when we fight. She knows it is my weak point and continues to push it with the yelling till the neighbours come to our doorstep. When the fighting got really bad I slapped her a couple of times and now I am the bad guy. Sex life is ok if we are not fighting. But fights get really ugly. After a point I lost all the love and am going through the motions for the sake of my kids. Lately my son also started answering back to her when she screams at him. Do you suggest I go for separation? She says no to therapy as she does not think anything is wrong with her. Infact she thinks I need counselling.

Ans: Dear Satish,
Section 498A is a serious charge and do not let it slip by...Kindly contact a lawyer and present your side of the case for the lawyer to be able to fight on your behalf.
What has transpired between you and your wife, is something known only to the two of you; but instead pf talking it through, I don't understand why she has to drop a serious charge. Has there been any instances of cruelty against her from you or any family member? If Yes, do not waste any time and take this charge on you seriously. If No, it can damage your reputation, call for a lawyer immediately. (I don't have much information from you on why all of this could have happened; hence this is the only suggestion that i can make).

All the best!

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.

Ans: It's clear that you've endured a lot over the years, and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and considering drastic measures like divorce or leaving home. Let's explore your situation with a compassionate and practical perspective.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge your feelings. You've been dealing with a challenging relationship for a long time, and it's natural to feel the weight of it all. Your desire to escape the pain, whether through divorce or even more extreme thoughts, signals just how tough things have been. Remember, these feelings are valid, but it's crucial to find a way forward that prioritizes your well-being and safety.

Considering a divorce is a significant step, especially after being married for over 30 years. It could potentially lead to a new beginning where you and your wife might find individual peace and happiness. Before making this decision, it might be helpful to reflect on a few things:

Sometimes, the prospect of a new start can bring clarity. Have you thought about what life might look like without your current relationship's stress and conflict? Envisioning this can help you understand your true desires.

Your daughters' well-being is a significant concern. Your younger daughter's decision to move out reflects how the family dynamics are affecting her. Would a change, like a separation or divorce, potentially bring more stability and peace for everyone involved?

If it's possible, consider having a heart-to-heart conversation with your wife. Sharing your feelings and how her actions have impacted you and your family might open a door to understanding or change. It’s a difficult conversation but can sometimes lead to unexpected resolutions.

Consulting a therapist or counselor can be invaluable. They can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and offer guidance on managing your situation. A professional can also help you and your wife if there's any possibility of working through your issues together.

If divorce seems like the best option, seeking legal advice is crucial. Understanding your rights and the practical aspects of separation can help you make an informed decision.

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Lean on trusted friends, family, or support groups for emotional backing. Your happiness and mental health are incredibly important, and finding a path that leads you to peace is worth the effort. Whatever you decide, take small, thoughtful steps towards creating a better situation for yourself and your family.