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Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 29, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Ravi Question by Ravi on Mar 28, 2023Hindi

Hi Anu. I married intercaste in a hurry going against my family. My wife seems loves me a lot but she is also a screamer and likes to create a scene when we fight. She knows it is my weak point and continues to push it with the yelling till the neighbours come to our doorstep. When the fighting got really bad I slapped her a couple of times and now I am the bad guy. Sex life is ok if we are not fighting. But fights get really ugly. After a point I lost all the love and am going through the motions for the sake of my kids. Lately my son also started answering back to her when she screams at him. Do you suggest I go for separation? She says no to therapy as she does not think anything is wrong with her. Infact she thinks I need counselling.

Ans: Dear Ravi,
Sometimes screaming could be a means to get attention. if you notice a toddler, he/she will cry and scream, throw toys around to gain the parents' attention. So, it could just be a way for express her emotions.

Even as adults, at times we are stuck around like we were when we were children and use similar means of communication. She could be doing the same. So, when she is in a calm space, that is the time to speak with her and clearly impressing upon her how her actions have begun to impact the child. If he is modeling her behaviour, she needs to take stock of what's happening with her.
So, you maybe right that she can see an expert; but what I would suggest is: When she is calm, rather than point out her behaviour which she may feel accused for, handle it with gentle patience. Ask her: how she is feeling and what makes her upset over something?
Work on the issue together rather than asking her to deal with it. This approach will make her feel like she is the problem and she will try and defend herself and refuse all help. It maybe difficult given what you are facing, but hey, it's love for the other person that you are willing to do what it takes, right?
In a marriage, the two of you are always on the same side, yeah? So unite to conquer...

All the best!

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Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 31, 2023

Madam, I'm 52 year old, with 20 years of married life. Have one daughter, 18 and one son, 15. I'm well earning government employee. My wife is also post-graduate. However, after marriage, she put half- hearted efforts to get govt job, but didn't succeed. She was never interested to live at different places for the sake of job and also wanted equal rank job. At that time, I didn't realize that she might be comparing with me. Any way, I was fine with any of her decisions. Later she told thatnshe wants to focus on children only. But, after 4-5 years, she started hating my all family members. While they are staying almost 1000 kms away, and except on few occasions, they never asked any help from me. Since last 10 years, she stopped talking to any of them. She doesn't allow my children to visit my native place and meet my family members, even during any marriages or function. My family members or friends aren't welcome at my home. Even after accepting all these nonsense behaviour, she never remains happy. She keeps passing sarcastic comments. She willn't dress nicely. Remains busy in watching movies/webseries on laptop. Many times, our arguments in the past turned to physical also. How long can I tolerate abuse for my family members? All such situations created toxic environment at home. Both of my children were sharp and intelligent, but now they are showing depressive symptoms. I'm not able to focus on my work and affected my personalty and performances. She wants no frills attached to me. In such case, she should have married to any orphan. She neither wants to meet any one for counselling. Now, I also snapped all relations with her family members. But looks, all the doors are also closed for me. I'm feeling suffocated. I neither leave her nor leave the world, as I love my children and my reputations. Kindly suggest the way out.
Ans: Dear Ramesh,
What it seems like to me from what you have shared is: a case of lost identity!
She has been struggling to find her acceptable place in her own eyes for herself.
In simple terms, she is not happy with the decisions that she has made in life and now chooses to complain about it by pushing people away.
Does this happen to others as well? Oh, YES!
When we have the desire to do something and then we suppress it with an excuse of taking care of the family etc, one fine day in the future, it comes back to haunt us.
In all likelihood, your wife might have done the same thing...I can only assume as from what you have shared, there is nothing else that seems to be the matter.

Now, because it has begun to affect the children, you have woken up but this has been going on with her for a while. Support her thoughts but not the behaviour that impacts everyone around. Give her an assurance that is she chooses to do something professionally, you will be there for her!

The key is not to give her solutions (that will bring down her self-esteem even lower) but to nudge her into thinking about doing something other than care for the family. Point her in a direction without being eager for her to take the bait. These things take time and the state of mind that she has now, if you push her, she will only resist. It's almost like teaching a child to walk or write for the first time. You don't walk for them but nudge them and wait for them to pick up at their own pace and praise them when they take those first baby steps. Get the drift, here? All this 'displeasure' with family members is only her way of complaining about her mind struggles.
Also, your children are old enough to support you through this journey as well. So seek their help on this.

Best wishes and it's nice to know that you still care and want to do something for her.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Hi, we are married for 19 years and have two kids.My wife is ill tempered, very rude and aggressive. Even if I tell her not to get angry and change her attitude, she argues by asking am I so bad? is it my fault always and never ever agrees that she is wrong. Counselling, Communicating and nothing will change her behaviour. Off Iate I understood that she is having an affair with my friend (which is safe because often he comes to our home and he is very close with all of us). If I ask her about this she will never ever accept, rather would retaliate by asking, have I gone insane? She will tear me apart by her aggressive behaviour. She is faking her love towards me and talks all sweet things whenever she requires me or my services as a husband. I am not interested in any counselling or any other such services. She will not budge or accept, thats guaranteed. Please, guide me and kindly dont bring kids angle in this, that will not help me. Shall I divorce (I am sure, it will be initial drama and later on it will not make any difference to her, she is independent and is a professional beautician. I am ready to gift her the plot which is in my name, she will be more than happy). what to do with this kind of aggressive and non accepting behaviour?
Ans: First of all, you have already decided that nothing will work without giving it a try. If marriage counselling didn’t work, people wouldn’t opt for it. But you’ve already said no. Second, you’re assuming an affair — till you have definitive proof, I wouldn’t go so far as to insist there is one. And third, you have already said in so many words that you want a divorce. So what exactly do you want to hear from me? It sounds to me like you’re as stubborn as your wife!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi
Hi, I am married from last 15 year, having a daughter , my realtion with my wife is very bad, she is like this since start of marriage, our is arrange marriage. She didn't want any kind of responsibility, she always want to go out and if possible do shopping, if I asked not to over spend she thinks not sure what and create scene. She fight with everyone even in office or with her parents, she blames other for all this, never ever think she can be wrong, she is having a feeling if you correct her , she not going to like it, she will say no need to teach me , I know. She even not hving very good relationship with my daughter, she is in class 10th and staying in baording. I am hving 2 flat just like jodi flat adjacant to each other, i am staying in one and she is in another , she hardly let me hv sex, but she talks or chat with stranger whole night, i try to question her but she started fighting, she didn't listen and do what ever she want, if u question she will fight, i really don't know how to handle this situation, I am feeling trapped and she is accusing me for all the mess. We had fight lots of time , we abused each other during fight a lot , but the problem still persist nothing changed in 15 years recently after fight i stop talking with her . Not sure how I should move forward , i talked with my daughter and she also suggesting me leave her for some time she will realize , should i go for divorce or how to move forward.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.

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Kanchan Rai  |281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2024Hindi
Hi madam, I am 58 yrs old and married since 30+ yrs. Have 2 daughters. Elder one is married in 2021 and happy with her life, younger one is working in MNC. Since my marriage i didn't came to know what the relationship to be there between husband and wife as my wife is very reluctant and she loves only money. since my marriage she always fight with me for silly issues and in childhood of my children's she often beat them with whatever she got in hand. always she said that her husband and children's are useless and always give very good reasons and remarks to others in society or family. Now many times i thought of getting away from her either by doing suicide or run away from my home or divorce her. but i just wanted to leave her alone so that she can think of our presence when we are not available to her. my younger daughter is finally decided to leave the home and be alone in another rented flat or on PG due to her mother behavior. please advice if i opt for divorce and run away from home. i can't speak to any one regarding my situation and need immediate help.
Ans: It's clear that you've endured a lot over the years, and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and considering drastic measures like divorce or leaving home. Let's explore your situation with a compassionate and practical perspective.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge your feelings. You've been dealing with a challenging relationship for a long time, and it's natural to feel the weight of it all. Your desire to escape the pain, whether through divorce or even more extreme thoughts, signals just how tough things have been. Remember, these feelings are valid, but it's crucial to find a way forward that prioritizes your well-being and safety.

Considering a divorce is a significant step, especially after being married for over 30 years. It could potentially lead to a new beginning where you and your wife might find individual peace and happiness. Before making this decision, it might be helpful to reflect on a few things:

Sometimes, the prospect of a new start can bring clarity. Have you thought about what life might look like without your current relationship's stress and conflict? Envisioning this can help you understand your true desires.

Your daughters' well-being is a significant concern. Your younger daughter's decision to move out reflects how the family dynamics are affecting her. Would a change, like a separation or divorce, potentially bring more stability and peace for everyone involved?

If it's possible, consider having a heart-to-heart conversation with your wife. Sharing your feelings and how her actions have impacted you and your family might open a door to understanding or change. It’s a difficult conversation but can sometimes lead to unexpected resolutions.

Consulting a therapist or counselor can be invaluable. They can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and offer guidance on managing your situation. A professional can also help you and your wife if there's any possibility of working through your issues together.

If divorce seems like the best option, seeking legal advice is crucial. Understanding your rights and the practical aspects of separation can help you make an informed decision.

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Lean on trusted friends, family, or support groups for emotional backing. Your happiness and mental health are incredibly important, and finding a path that leads you to peace is worth the effort. Whatever you decide, take small, thoughtful steps towards creating a better situation for yourself and your family.

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Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi
Hello Anu, I am married for over 20 years. My wife has anger issues. Firstly, she gets annoyed with anything or everything. Secondly, she cannot control her anger. I had always taken a stand that I have to manage the marriage so what is the need of getting into confronting mode. Many a times, divorce crossed my mind but I could not gather the courage. Then tried to manage the situation by agreeing to everything and not sharing my opinions. I feel the home is like a prison. I feel uncomfortable when she is around me. I used to be a very social and jovial personality. Now people say I don't talk that much, the wittiness I had has vanished. I used to sing, record my own songs, take part in cultural events and activities. But now all gone. What ever I speak when we meet at family and friends get together, there is a complete postmortem of every sentence and intent. My elder son now says that I should keep my foot down. I am pushed to pass on all my salary to my wife's account and then have to ask her for any spends that I do. Over and above that every spend for her is un-necessary. I have multiple times tried to talk to her.. she says 'Whatever you say, I will not agree and you know that so don't waste your time in convincing me rather change yourself and do what I am saying'. It is becoming vicious and taking a toll on my energy. I feel like staying out of the house. But when around friends she behaves nicely.. Don't have answers. I want to take her to councellor so as we both can get advise. But she says, change yourself we will be happy. I am not going to change. I mean I am not asking her to change, but just be emphathatic. Am I asking for too much. I also agree that I may have flaws I am no perfect but no one is, why then am I looked upon to be a perfect person? V
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is a difficult situation to be around someone who has issues with anger and in this case it's your wife!
Anger is just a call or cry for help. Have you seen a child display anger and throw his/her toys around just to get their mother's attention?
Now, what is it that you wife lacks is something only you will know. She feels a certain lack in her life.
It could be lack of achievement, lack of self-worth, lack of a healthy self-esteem, lack of healthy nutrients in the body, lack of good quality sleep, lack of useful social environment.

I also believe what and who we surround ourselves with will define how our day goes and how our life will pan out. Now, because she fails to see the role of a counselor, you are forced to work at this on your own. So, start by trying to find out:
- what area of lack is she in?
- what triggers her anger episodes?
- how does she come out of these episodes?
- are the people/friends around her very different from her value systems?
- when was the last time she had a general check-up to see if all the health parameters are good?
- how actively has she pursued a career or a hobby?
- how many hours of sleep does she get?
- does she eat nutritious food that's meant for her age?

Since you are on your own with this, get deeper into this; I do agree your feelings are on the back-burner BUT till you sort this, it's going to haunt you. Sometimes the display of anger is much bigger that forces us to believe that the problem is a big one. It could just be a simple cause...Only when you try to identify it, will you know how and what it is.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions

Mayank Chandel  |1509 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024


Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4759 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 04, 2024Hindi
I have recently joined my job and I want to invest in mutual fund through SIP. I am earning 50k per month. So please suggest which SIP I should start.
Ans: Investing in mutual funds through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) is a smart move. SIPs offer a disciplined approach to investing. With SIPs, you invest a fixed amount every month. This helps in building wealth over time. Let's explore how you can start your SIP journey.

Assessing Your Financial Goals
First, understand your financial goals. Are you saving for a home, children's education, or retirement? Identifying your goals will help in selecting the right mutual funds.

You earn Rs 50,000 per month. Decide how much you can invest in SIPs. A good starting point could be 20% of your salary. This means you can invest Rs 10,000 per month.

Evaluating Risk Tolerance
Assess your risk tolerance. Are you comfortable with market fluctuations? Or do you prefer stability? Your risk appetite will determine the type of mutual funds you choose. For example:

High risk tolerance: Equity mutual funds are suitable. They offer higher returns but come with higher risks.

Medium risk tolerance: Balanced funds are a good option. They invest in both equities and debt, providing a balanced risk-return ratio.

Low risk tolerance: Debt funds are ideal. They offer stability and lower returns.

Types of Mutual Funds for SIP
Let's delve into the types of mutual funds suitable for SIPs:

Equity Mutual Funds
These funds invest in stocks. They have the potential for high returns. They are suitable for long-term goals. There are various sub-categories:

Large-Cap Funds: Invest in large companies. They are less risky than mid or small-cap funds.

Mid-Cap Funds: Invest in mid-sized companies. They offer higher returns but come with higher risks.

Small-Cap Funds: Invest in small companies. They are the most volatile but can offer the highest returns.

Balanced Funds
Balanced funds invest in both equities and debt. They provide a balance of risk and return. They are suitable for medium-term goals. They offer stability with decent returns.

Debt Funds
Debt funds invest in fixed-income securities like bonds. They are less risky and provide stable returns. They are suitable for short-term goals and for those with low-risk tolerance.

Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds are a mix of equity and debt. They provide diversification. They are suitable for investors who want to balance risk and return.

Choosing the Right Fund
Selecting the right fund is crucial. Here are some factors to consider:

Fund Performance
Look at the fund's past performance. It should have a consistent track record. Check its performance over different time frames – 1 year, 3 years, and 5 years.

Fund Manager
The fund manager's expertise is vital. A good fund manager can make a significant difference. Check the fund manager's experience and track record.

Expense Ratio
The expense ratio is the fee charged by the fund. Lower expense ratios are better as they eat less into your returns.

Investment Horizon
Align your investment horizon with the fund type. For long-term goals, equity funds are suitable. For short-term goals, debt funds are better.

Benefits of SIP
Rupee Cost Averaging
SIPs help in rupee cost averaging. You buy more units when prices are low and fewer units when prices are high. This reduces the average cost per unit.

Disciplined Investing
SIPs promote disciplined investing. Investing a fixed amount every month builds a habit. It ensures that you save regularly.

Power of Compounding
SIPs harness the power of compounding. The longer you stay invested, the higher your returns. Starting early is key.

SIPs are convenient. They are automated, requiring minimal effort. You can start SIPs online with ease.

Assessing Fund Suitability
Evaluate the suitability of a fund for your needs. Consider the following aspects:

Consistency in Returns
A good fund should provide consistent returns. It should outperform its benchmark. Check the fund's performance during market ups and downs.

Risk-Adjusted Returns
Look at risk-adjusted returns. This measures the return per unit of risk taken. Funds with higher risk-adjusted returns are preferable.

Portfolio Diversification
A well-diversified portfolio is less risky. Check the fund's portfolio for diversification across sectors and stocks.

Investment Strategy
Understand the fund's investment strategy. It should align with your goals and risk tolerance.

Steps to Start SIP
Starting a SIP is straightforward. Follow these steps:

KYC Compliance
Complete your KYC (Know Your Customer) process. It is mandatory for investing in mutual funds. You can do it online.

Choose the Fund
Select the mutual fund based on your goals and risk tolerance. Use online tools to compare funds.

Decide SIP Amount
Decide the amount you want to invest monthly. Ensure it fits your budget.

Set Up SIP
Set up the SIP online. You can link it to your bank account. The amount will be automatically debited each month.

Monitoring and Reviewing SIP
Regularly monitor your SIP investments. Review the fund's performance periodically. Make adjustments if necessary.

Review Investment Goals
Your financial goals may change over time. Review and adjust your SIPs accordingly.

Monitor Fund Performance
Keep an eye on the fund's performance. If a fund consistently underperforms, consider switching.

Rebalance Portfolio
Rebalance your portfolio periodically. Ensure it aligns with your risk tolerance and goals.

Common Mistakes to Avoid
Avoid these common mistakes when investing in SIPs:

Not Having Clear Goals
Set clear financial goals. This helps in selecting the right funds.

Stopping SIPs During Market Downturns
Don't stop SIPs during market downturns. Continue investing to benefit from rupee cost averaging.

Investing Without Research
Research before investing. Don't invest based on tips or trends.

Ignoring Expense Ratios
Consider expense ratios. High expense ratios can eat into your returns.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are managed by professional fund managers. They aim to outperform the market. Let's explore their advantages:

Expertise of Fund Managers
Fund managers use their expertise to select stocks. They aim to maximize returns.

Potential for Higher Returns
Actively managed funds have the potential for higher returns. They can adapt to market changes.

Flexibility in Investment
Fund managers can change the portfolio based on market conditions. This flexibility can be advantageous.

Risk Management
Fund managers actively manage risk. They can take defensive positions in volatile markets.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds passively track a market index. Let's discuss their disadvantages:

Limited Flexibility
Index funds have limited flexibility. They can't adapt to market changes.

Average Returns
Index funds aim to match the market. They provide average returns, not higher.

No Risk Management
Index funds don't actively manage risk. They mirror the market's performance.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Regular funds are purchased through a Certified Financial Planner. They offer several benefits:

Expert Advice
You get expert advice from a Certified Financial Planner. They help in selecting the right funds.

Regular Monitoring
Your investments are regularly monitored. Adjustments are made based on performance.

Holistic Financial Planning
A Certified Financial Planner offers holistic financial planning. They consider your overall financial health.

Peace of Mind
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner provides peace of mind. You can rely on their expertise.

Investing Smartly
Investing in SIPs is a smart move. It helps in wealth creation over time. Follow these steps for successful SIP investing:

Start Early
The earlier you start, the better. Time in the market is crucial.

Stay Disciplined
Stick to your investment plan. Don't let market fluctuations deter you.

Review Periodically
Regularly review your investments. Make necessary adjustments.

Seek Professional Help
Consult a Certified Financial Planner. They can guide you in the right direction.

Final Insights
Investing in mutual funds through SIPs is a wise decision. It offers a disciplined approach to wealth creation. Assess your financial goals and risk tolerance. Choose the right mutual funds and start your SIP. Regularly monitor and review your investments. Avoid common mistakes and stay disciplined. Consider the benefits of actively managed funds and regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner. Investing smartly will help you achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,


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Ravi Mittal  |250 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

m in love with my boyfriend since 18 years. I waited till he gets his first job to tell my parents abut him. When the time came we both informed in our family that we want to get married. His father said yes initially and asked my family to meet at a common place. Later once I family agreed and came and called to inform his family, his mother denied saying his father is against this marriage. My parents called my boyfriend and asked whether he wants to marry me without his father approval and he said obviously!!! Why wouldn’t I? Then me and my boyfriend set a date and informed both our family that we are getting married on this date on july. My family has been always supportive and they support me here as well. But his family reacted differently saying we can’t allow you to marry on this date as this month is his birth month (some silly excuses) and they informed we can assure you we will get you married to your girlfriend in November or December. That time my boyfriend also agreed with his mother knowing that all wedding venues were booked and I have paid some kind of advance amount as well. And NOW!! My family went wild over him saying howcome he called of this marriage?? My boyfriend is asking me please give me a second chance that I will convince my parents to marry you in November or December. If they disagree i will move out and marry you only. How can I trust him this time? SHOULD I?
Ans: Dear Suwon,

I understand you are in a difficult situation and trusting someone once they have broken it is difficult. I also understand your parent's concern. I am sure you do too. Now, the real question is, do you want to give him another chance? I know he broke your trust by moving the dates suddenly, but maybe let's try to find out why he did it.

You have been with him for a long time. You should have some clue about the type of person he is; it is totally up to you to decide whether you want to give him another chance or move on with your life. Neither would be a wrong choice. But it should be your choice. Look at the pros and cons. All things he got right to date and the wrongs he did too. Weigh them against each other and by the end of it, you should have some clarity.

Best Wishes.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4759 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2024Hindi
Hi I am a 18 year old living in Bangalore and I wanted to know how to manage my finances as I will be going to University from the 20th of this month. I want to know how to manage my savings and invest those savings for returns. I plan to ask my parents for 12,000 to 14,000 a month at the maximum which include my travel expenses for around 8,000 monthly.
Ans: Welcome to the exciting phase of starting university! Managing your finances at this stage is crucial. Your plan to ask your parents for Rs. 12,000 to Rs. 14,000 per month is a good start. Let’s break down how to use this money effectively.

Monthly Budgeting: The Foundation

First, let’s allocate your monthly funds wisely. Your travel expenses are Rs. 8,000. This leaves you with Rs. 4,000 to Rs. 6,000 for other expenses like food, supplies, and savings.

Allocating for Essentials

Ensure you set aside enough for food and essential items. This might be around Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 4,000. This leaves you with Rs. 1,000 to Rs. 2,000 for savings and investments.

Building a Savings Habit

Start by putting aside a fixed amount each month into a savings account. Even small amounts can grow over time. This builds a habit of saving and provides a safety net for unexpected expenses.

Investment Basics for Young Adults

With the money you save, consider investing. Investments can help your savings grow over time. Here’s a look at some options suitable for a student like you.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)

SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly into mutual funds. They are flexible and start with as low as Rs. 500. They help you benefit from the power of compounding and rupee cost averaging. Actively managed funds, chosen with the help of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), can offer better returns than index funds.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds have professional managers making investment decisions. This can result in better performance compared to index funds, which simply track market indices. Fund managers actively seek opportunities to outperform the market.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds only replicate the market index. They don’t try to beat the market, limiting growth potential. Also, during market downturns, index funds can suffer as much as the market itself. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, aim to minimise losses during such times.

The Role of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

A CFP can guide you in choosing the right actively managed funds. Investing through a regular fund via an MFD (Mutual Fund Distributor) with a CFP credential provides valuable insights and ongoing support. Direct funds lack this professional guidance.

Emergency Fund: Your Safety Net

Apart from SIPs, it’s wise to maintain an emergency fund. This should cover at least three months of expenses. It provides a buffer against unforeseen financial needs.

Avoiding High-Risk Investments

While it might be tempting to invest in high-risk options for quick returns, it’s better to stick to safer investments. Risky investments can lead to losses, which is not ideal at the start of your financial journey.

Education on Financial Literacy

Take time to educate yourself about personal finance. Understanding basics like budgeting, saving, and investing will help you make informed decisions. There are many resources available online, including courses and articles.

Part-Time Work: An Additional Income Source

Consider taking up part-time work or internships. This not only provides additional income but also valuable work experience. It can enhance your skills and make you more employable after graduation.

Living Within Your Means

It’s crucial to live within your means. Avoid unnecessary expenses and distinguish between needs and wants. This practice will ensure you stay within your budget and save more.

Using Student Discounts

Take advantage of student discounts and offers. Many places offer discounts on food, travel, and entertainment for students. This can help you save money on essential and leisure activities.

Tracking Your Expenses

Keep track of your expenses. This helps you understand where your money goes and identify areas to cut costs. Many apps can help you with expense tracking and budgeting.

Building Credit Responsibly

If you get a credit card, use it responsibly. Pay off the full balance each month to avoid interest charges. Building a good credit history can be beneficial for future financial needs.

Health Insurance

Ensure you have adequate health insurance. This can protect you from high medical costs in case of illness or injury. Check if your parents' insurance covers you or consider getting student health insurance.

Long-Term Financial Planning

Even as a student, start thinking about long-term financial goals. This could include further education, buying a vehicle, or starting a business. Having a plan helps you stay focused and motivated.

Staying Informed

Stay informed about financial trends and updates. This can help you make better investment decisions. Regularly reading financial news and reports is a good practice.

Avoiding Debt

Avoid unnecessary debt. While student loans might be necessary, try to minimise other debts. High-interest debt can become a burden and hinder your financial growth.

Networking and Mentorship

Build a network of mentors and peers who can offer financial advice and support. Learning from others’ experiences can provide valuable insights and guidance.

Exploring Scholarship Opportunities

Look for scholarships and grants. These can significantly reduce your financial burden. Many organisations offer scholarships based on academic performance, talents, or financial need.

Balancing Academics and Finances

While managing finances is important, don’t let it overshadow your academics. Striking a balance is key to a successful university experience.

Learning from Mistakes

It’s okay to make financial mistakes. Learn from them and adjust your strategy. This is part of the learning process and helps you grow financially savvy.

Seeking Professional Advice

If you’re unsure about any financial decision, seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide personalised guidance tailored to your needs and goals.

Starting Small, Thinking Big

Start with small, manageable investments. Over time, these can grow significantly. Patience and consistency are vital in the world of investments.

Maintaining Financial Discipline

Discipline is key to financial success. Stick to your budget, save regularly, and invest wisely. This approach will set a strong foundation for your financial future.

Final Insights

Managing your finances as a student sets the stage for your future financial well-being. Start with budgeting, saving, and making informed investment decisions. Educate yourself continuously and seek guidance when needed. With discipline and smart choices, you can achieve financial stability and growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,


...Read more


Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4759 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 04, 2024Hindi
I invested in SBI Mutual Fund through NJ Investments, a broking firm in the month of Oct 2023. Transaction report shows invested & current value on NJ Investment portal whereas on SBI Mutual Fund portal the invested & current value is shown as ZERO. The past transaction report on SBI Mutual Fund portal correctly shows the investment made on particular date but the current value is showing as ZERO. What may be the possible reason for this discrepancy?
Ans: Investing in mutual funds can be a rewarding experience, but sometimes discrepancies arise that need careful examination. Let's delve into your situation with SBI Mutual Fund and NJ Investments to understand the possible reasons for the discrepancy you're experiencing.

Understanding the Discrepancy
Overview of the Situation

You invested in SBI Mutual Fund through NJ Investments in October 2023. Your transaction report shows the invested and current value on the NJ Investment portal. However, the SBI Mutual Fund portal shows both the invested and current value as zero. The past transaction report on the SBI portal correctly reflects the investment date but shows the current value as zero. This discrepancy needs detailed analysis to identify the underlying causes.

Possible Reasons for Discrepancy

Several factors could be contributing to the discrepancy between the NJ Investments portal and the SBI Mutual Fund portal. Let’s explore each possibility in detail:

1. Timing Differences

Mutual fund transactions can sometimes experience a lag between the time they are recorded by the broker and when they are reflected by the fund house. This can cause temporary discrepancies.

2. Data Synchronisation Issues

NJ Investments and SBI Mutual Fund may not synchronise their data in real-time. This can lead to a delay in updating the SBI Mutual Fund portal with the latest information from NJ Investments.

3. Transaction Processing Delays

It’s possible that the transaction is still in the process of being confirmed and updated on the SBI Mutual Fund portal. This can happen due to internal processing delays.

4. Technical Glitches

Occasionally, technical issues can cause data display errors. The SBI Mutual Fund portal might be experiencing a temporary glitch that is preventing the accurate display of your current values.

5. Reconciliation Errors

There could be an error in reconciling the data between NJ Investments and SBI Mutual Fund. This can cause discrepancies in the displayed values.

Steps to Resolve the Discrepancy
To resolve this issue, you can follow a series of steps to ensure your investment details are correctly reflected:

1. Contact Customer Support

Reach out to both NJ Investments and SBI Mutual Fund customer support teams. Explain the discrepancy and ask for clarification on why the current value is shown as zero on the SBI Mutual Fund portal.

2. Verify Transaction Details

Ensure all your transaction details, including the amount invested and the date of investment, are accurately recorded on both portals. Cross-check these details with your transaction receipts or confirmation emails.

3. Check for Updates

Sometimes, discrepancies can be resolved automatically after some time. Check the SBI Mutual Fund portal periodically for updates on your investment values.

4. Request a Reconciliation

If the issue persists, request a detailed reconciliation of your account from both NJ Investments and SBI Mutual Fund. This will help identify where the error occurred and how it can be corrected.

5. Follow Up Regularly

Regular follow-ups with customer support can expedite the resolution process. Keep track of your communication and ensure that your issue is being addressed.

Analyzing the Benefits and Drawbacks
Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds

While discussing mutual funds, it’s important to consider the types of funds available. You mentioned your investment in an actively managed fund, which can offer several benefits over index funds:

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds

Expert Management
Actively managed funds benefit from professional fund managers who make investment decisions based on research and market analysis. This expertise can potentially lead to better returns.

Fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions, aiming to capitalize on opportunities and manage risks effectively.

Potential for Higher Returns
Active management aims to outperform the market by selecting securities that have the potential for higher returns.

Drawbacks of Index Funds

Limited Flexibility
Index funds replicate a specific market index and cannot adapt to changing market conditions. This can limit their performance in volatile markets.

No Downside Protection
Index funds cannot take defensive positions during market downturns, which can lead to significant losses during bear markets.

Direct Funds vs. Regular Funds

You also inquired about investing through NJ Investments, which is a regular fund. Let's compare direct funds and regular funds:

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Lack of Advisory Support
Investing in direct funds means you won't have access to professional advice. This can be challenging, especially for new investors.

Managing direct investments requires time and effort to research and monitor the market. This can be demanding for individuals with busy schedules.

Risk of Errors
Without professional guidance, there is a higher risk of making investment mistakes, which can negatively impact your returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds with CFP

Professional Guidance
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner provides access to expert advice tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Simplified Process
Regular funds simplify the investment process, as the advisor handles the research, selection, and monitoring of your investments.

Optimized Returns
A CFP can help you optimize your returns by creating a diversified portfolio that aligns with your financial objectives.

Ensuring Accurate Record Keeping
Importance of Accurate Records

Maintaining accurate records of your investments is crucial for tracking performance and making informed decisions. Here are some tips to ensure your records are accurate:

1. Regular Reviews

Regularly review your investment statements and transaction reports to ensure they accurately reflect your holdings and values.

2. Consolidate Information

Consolidate information from different portals and platforms to have a comprehensive view of your investments. This can help identify discrepancies early.

3. Use Technology

Utilise financial management software or apps that can aggregate data from multiple sources, providing a unified view of your investments.

4. Maintain Backups

Keep backups of important documents, such as transaction receipts and confirmation emails, to verify your records if needed.

Understanding the Role of Financial Advisors
Benefits of Working with a CFP

A Certified Financial Planner can provide valuable assistance in managing your investments and financial planning:

1. Tailored Advice

A CFP offers personalized advice based on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. This can help you make informed decisions.

2. Holistic Planning

CFPs take a holistic approach to financial planning, considering all aspects of your financial life, including investments, insurance, and retirement planning.

3. Long-Term Perspective

Working with a CFP ensures that you have a long-term perspective on your investments, focusing on sustainable growth and wealth accumulation.

4. Peace of Mind

Having a professional manage your investments provides peace of mind, knowing that your financial future is in capable hands.

Appreciating Your Investment Efforts

Investing in mutual funds is a commendable step towards securing your financial future. Your proactive approach in addressing discrepancies shows your commitment to managing your investments effectively. This vigilance is crucial in achieving your financial goals.

I understand how frustrating it can be to see discrepancies in your investment records. It’s important to address these issues promptly to ensure your investments are accurately reflected. Your diligence in seeking a resolution is a testament to your dedication to financial management.

Final Insights
Addressing discrepancies in your mutual fund investments requires a systematic approach. By understanding the possible reasons for the discrepancy and taking proactive steps to resolve it, you can ensure that your investments are accurately reflected. Additionally, appreciating the benefits of actively managed funds and the value of working with a Certified Financial Planner can enhance your investment strategy.

Maintaining accurate records and leveraging professional guidance can provide you with the peace of mind needed to achieve your financial goals. Your efforts in managing your investments are commendable, and with the right approach, you can overcome any challenges that arise.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,


...Read more


Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4759 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

I need money for 2 months 35000
Ans: If you need Rs 35,000 for a short-term period of 2 months, here are a few options to consider:

1. Emergency Fund
If you have an emergency fund set aside, this would be the ideal use for it. It’s designed for unexpected expenses like this, ensuring you don’t disrupt your long-term investments.

2. Personal Loan
Consider a personal loan from a bank or a reputable financial institution. Personal loans typically offer quick disbursal and can be repaid over a short period, such as 2 months. Compare interest rates and terms to find the best option.

3. Credit Card
If you have a credit card with sufficient limit, you could use it for the amount needed. However, ensure you can repay the balance in full within the interest-free period to avoid high interest charges.

4. Withdrawal from Investments
If you have investments in liquid assets like certain mutual funds or fixed deposits, you might consider withdrawing the required amount. Be mindful of any withdrawal penalties or tax implications.

5. Borrowing from Friends or Family
If feasible and comfortable, borrowing from friends or family might be an option. Ensure you have a clear agreement on repayment terms to avoid misunderstandings.

6. Salary Advance
If you're employed, you might inquire about a salary advance from your employer. This allows you to access a portion of your salary in advance, which can be repaid through deductions from future paychecks.

Final Considerations
Evaluate these options based on your personal financial situation and choose the one that aligns best with your needs and ability to repay within the specified timeframe.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,


...Read more


Ravi Mittal  |250 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
Hi I am 29 year old F dating a 27 year old M. I have always been very conservative and emotional with respect to love. Before him, i never dated anyone, nor allowed anyone to touch me because I wanted only one man in my life. We both have failed to crack a gov job. He has lost all hopes in life and somehow wants to fix his career. On the other hand, My family is pressurising me to get married and even I think that I have reached that stage where I should get married in a year or two. Meanwhile his parents too wants him to get married by next year. However, he refuses to give me any commitment unless he has a stable career i.e government job. And if he failed to do so, then he will marry any girl whom his parents choses because without a gov job, he won't be able to take a stand for me. I his mind he thinks that my family is of high standards than his. (which is partially true) I want some form of commitment from him, but all he says that he wants to marry me, and wants me to stay with him as friend untill he is ready. He has also not given me the tag of a gf, he says that because of that tag I will be emotionally attached to him and if things didnt worked out than I will be devastated. He had also not made any sexual advances towards me. He asked for 6 months to fix everything. However, this undefined relationship without a commitment is emotionally exhausting me. Because of my family pressure, I am in delema whether I should look for someone else or believe someone who has not yet defined anything? I dont want to look for anyone else becase than it is against my personal ideology of being with only one man. Yet, I am scared. What if I ended up being with no one. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand your dilemma. Your partner has asked for six months. That might seem and feel very long, given the situation, but it will pass in a heartbeat. You can, only if you want, give him that time and see where things go. Having said that, let me also mention that if you decide to quit this relationship, if it is too exhausting and it's putting you through more emotional turmoil than giving you happiness, you would not be wrong. You have every right to choose peace. After all, why do we love someone? Because they, the relationship with them, makes us happy. There will indeed be ups and downs in a relationship, but if there are only downs, and only more downs to come in the future, it wouldn't be wrong to reconsider that relationship.

Evaluate your needs. Take a little time for yourself to reflect- weigh the pros against the cons. You will have your answer.

Your ideology is commendable. But make sure it doesn't affect your emotional well-being. While your beliefs are admirable, there is also nothing wrong with finding love more than once. Not every love story is bound to succeed, and a single failure should not define your entire life.

Best Wishes.

...Read more


Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4759 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 04, 2024Hindi
Hi sir, I'm 35 years old I have started with ppf just 4years back which is around 4L change now and have invested in below mutual funds HDFC mutual fund- 1000 pm PPFAS mutual fund - 2500 with step up of 500 every 6 months Aditya Birla Sun Life - 1002 pm Please suggest if I my portfolio needs to be changed and with this can I retire early.
Ans: Assessing Your Current Portfolio
You are on the right track by starting your investments in PPF and mutual funds. Your discipline in contributing regularly is commendable.

The PPF is a secure, long-term investment option. It offers tax benefits and a fixed return. Your current balance of Rs. 4 lakhs in PPF is a good start.

Regarding mutual funds, you have invested in three different schemes. Diversifying your investments is essential, and you have made a good choice by not putting all your money in one fund.

Your current investment approach shows you are cautious and focused on building a secure financial future.

Reviewing Your Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a great way to build wealth over time. Your choices of funds reflect a good mix, although there is room for improvement.

Regular Contributions
Investing Rs. 1,000 per month in one mutual fund, Rs. 2,500 in another with a step-up of Rs. 500 every six months, and Rs. 1,002 in the third fund shows you are committed to regular investing.

Step-Up Investments
The step-up feature in one of your funds is an excellent strategy. It helps increase your investment amount gradually, which can significantly impact your corpus over the long term.

Evaluating Fund Performance
However, it's essential to evaluate the performance of these funds periodically. Mutual fund performance can vary, and it's crucial to ensure your funds are consistently performing well.

Recommendations for Portfolio Improvement
Your current portfolio is a solid foundation, but there are a few adjustments you can make for better results.

Increase Diversification
Consider adding a few more funds to your portfolio. Diversifying across various types of funds can help balance risk and returns.

Focus on Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, where a fund manager makes decisions on the portfolio, can offer better returns than index funds. While index funds track the market, actively managed funds aim to outperform it.

Regular Funds over Direct Funds
Although direct funds have lower expense ratios, regular funds offer the benefit of professional advice from a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential. This advice can be invaluable, especially in volatile markets.

Review and Rebalance
Regularly reviewing your portfolio and rebalancing it to maintain your desired asset allocation is essential. This ensures your portfolio remains aligned with your financial goals.

Planning for Early Retirement
Early retirement is an achievable goal with disciplined saving and smart investing. Here are some strategies to help you reach this goal.

Increase SIP Amounts
As your income grows, consider increasing your SIP amounts. This can significantly accelerate your wealth-building process.

Utilize Step-Up SIPs
Step-up SIPs, like the one you already have, are beneficial. They allow you to increase your investment amount periodically, which can help grow your corpus faster.

Explore Different Fund Categories
Apart from the funds you already have, explore different categories such as large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and sectoral funds. Each category has its risk and return profile, which can add diversity to your portfolio.

Maintain an Emergency Fund
Always keep an emergency fund equivalent to at least six months of your expenses. This fund should be in a liquid and safe investment option.

Health Insurance Coverage
Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage. Medical emergencies can derail your financial plans, so having a robust health insurance plan is crucial.

Tax Planning and Benefits
Tax planning is a crucial aspect of financial planning. Here are some strategies to maximize your tax benefits.

Section 80C Deductions
Investments in PPF, ELSS (Equity-Linked Savings Scheme), and other eligible instruments qualify for deductions under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act. You can claim deductions up to Rs. 1.5 lakhs per year.

Utilize HRA Benefits
If you are a salaried individual, make sure to claim House Rent Allowance (HRA) benefits. This can significantly reduce your taxable income.

Health Insurance Premiums
Premiums paid for health insurance qualify for deductions under Section 80D. This includes premiums for family and parents.

Capital Gains Tax
Understand the tax implications of your mutual fund investments. Long-term capital gains from equity funds are tax-free up to Rs. 1 lakh per year. Gains above this amount are taxed at 10%.

Building a Corpus for Early Retirement
To retire early, you need a substantial corpus. Here are some steps to help you achieve this.

Calculate Your Retirement Corpus
Estimate the amount you need to retire early. Consider your current expenses, inflation, and life expectancy. This will give you a target corpus to aim for.

Increase Your Investments
As mentioned earlier, increasing your investment amounts over time can help you reach your retirement corpus faster.

Avoid Unnecessary Debt
Avoid taking on unnecessary debt. Focus on paying off any existing debts as soon as possible. This will free up more money for investments.

Regular Reviews
Regularly review your financial plan and make adjustments as needed. Financial goals and market conditions can change, so it's important to stay on top of your plan.

Benefits of Professional Guidance
While managing investments on your own is possible, professional guidance can add significant value.

Expertise and Knowledge
Certified Financial Planners have the expertise and knowledge to help you make informed decisions. They can provide personalized advice based on your financial situation and goals.

Emotional Discipline
A CFP can help you maintain emotional discipline during market volatility. It's easy to make impulsive decisions during market downturns, but a CFP can provide a rational perspective.

Comprehensive Planning
A CFP can help you with comprehensive financial planning, including tax planning, retirement planning, and estate planning.

Regular Monitoring
A CFP will regularly monitor your portfolio and suggest necessary adjustments. This ensures your portfolio remains aligned with your goals.

Final Insights
Your journey towards early retirement is on the right path. Your disciplined approach to investing in PPF and mutual funds is commendable.

By making a few adjustments, such as increasing diversification, focusing on actively managed funds, and regularly reviewing your portfolio, you can enhance your returns.

Tax planning and maintaining adequate health insurance coverage are also crucial aspects of your financial plan.

Professional guidance from a Certified Financial Planner can provide significant benefits, helping you make informed decisions and stay disciplined during market fluctuations.

With continued discipline and smart investing, early retirement is an achievable goal. Keep up the good work and stay focused on your financial journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,


...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.


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